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May 25, 2022 6:00 am
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Never anything to try to tell if it's too hard that you can't have victory. Tried many times before Dolly can you be the same and that is not the God that we know God says to us that we are a new creation. He says that he is an ever present help in trouble. He says that his plans for us are good to compress and not to harm us, and so we are not powerless we are not the victims of our past. We do not have to listen to shaming language but we will need to exchange those unhealthy patterns, God honoring habits starts with truth, and then practical steps in the right direction Betsy Imbruglia and she joins us today on Focus on the Family. Thanks for being with us. Our host is focus Brisbane Jim Daly and on John Fuller. John what is your go to food when you're stressed out I'm stressed out if there is ice cream in the house I will you know this. I think I'm not connecting the dots between stress and eating just like I sky basically all you because I like it. Maybe that's why I must rescue my distress I know well you asked the question that's what I would from trust I okay say I screamed my mind to what you chocolate or remote mystery vanilla bean.loading. It's not a chocolates good to try it once in a while you know Paul writes in first Corinthians 1031 so, whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God's sake. The ice cream to the glory of God. But it does give us a little insight and what you learn a lot today this might be one of the shows at some intervention for me. I don't know. Maybe the team's plan, though slow, so I can identify the cat's eyes exit certain things during stressful periods.
I'm not sure, but I'm looking forward to talking with her great friend Amberly a who's written a wonderful book food triggers. I think most of us to learn some things that indeed Amber has been here before. She's a popular guest. She's a certified health Coach a blog or a speaker of work from home options for boys.
Somehow she wants time to write great books and as you said Jim her book, food triggers, exchanging unhealthy patterns for God honoring habits of netbook forms the foundation for our conversation today. Get a copy of that from us here at the ministry one 800 the letter a in the word family or click the program notes for the link Amber, welcome back. Thank you so much for having Holly love being here now. This is an off-the-cuff question just hit me.
You probably know enough about food triggers that you can categorize people like me, like John, maybe like Gina Dana seriously. I just don't think of food being kind of a pressure thing for me because I like it that I am I wrong that makes a lot of you're actually hitting the nail on the head because culturally, we have become fairly cavalier about what I mean cavalier about your eating habits will have what I need to change well. Statistically, the majority of us are overweight or obese currently. There is no judgment because that was me just a few years ago so I'm right there with you. I speak from a place of experience, but many of us are turning to food help and it has become normalized that we are using food for purposes that it was really never ultimately intended for and that was where I found myself in a bit of that pit. And God has been faithful to help me get out of it so that old adage don't live to eat to live right. How does that apply biblical context. Well thing that we make into an idol is going to be a path toward our demise and what a lot of us don't realize what I didn't realize is that I was using food for the wrong purposes and so he become an idol from me. So any time that food is turned to for reasons other than its ideal purpose, which is fuel. No food is supposed to be for nutrition. It's supposed to help us maintain our bodies, our temple, God calls us to take care of our bodies and to steward them well and so when we start turning food into anything other than nourishment and fuel and doesn't enjoy it. We can firm I was enjoying it too much and I was using it for emotional purposes and for other things. It was never intended to be used for, and that's where I went wrong. Describe that emotional need meeting if I can call it that because I'm not sure if you're just bumping along during your day. I'm not sure I'm connecting with do I do that I don't even trying to ask myself in my head right now my bumping along. I'm trying to get like three meals a day.
I don't smack that much yeah what a lot of us are eating at times and eating things that we didn't plan for. So you go into the workspace back room and all of a sudden you see all of these appealing treats and you just had a difficult meeting, or you had some kind of an interaction with a coworker and you had no intention of having a donut and now you're having a doughnut that work well you know the temptation is real and the difficulty is, a lot of us get caught up in just the mindlessness of eating.
So is there is will have one price it's there. Yes, and we don't take that connection that there could even be something emotional going on when you started your health journey. Your friend Tammy raised a question for you what she asked, and one that make such an impact, yes I had known Tammy for many years. We had met at church and a mommy and me class and we were both really fat at that time 15 years later.
Fast-forward many kids later and she and I both were at a place where we had allowed our weight to get out of control and I was watching her. She was sharing online about her weight loss journey and I'm watching her she's getting healthier and I'm getting more miserable. Meanwhile, and so finally I just had a conversation with her.
I said Tammy what are you doing how I get a hold of this in my own life and she said Loki I got rid of the diet mentality. I dialed in on what was the root cause of all of this.
I found a simple plan that works for me and you just need to make a decision and you need to find out why you want to get healthy. Why is this the right time and so I thought about that and I considered why do I need to make a change and there were several key things that came to the forefront for me as I considered Megan to keep going on this path toward becoming unhealthier and unhealthier.
Or am I going to make a change and I realized I'd wake up in the morning. I bet a lot of listeners feel this way. I'd open the closet door and it was just like dread. I hated getting dressed in the morning because I was very uncomfortable. I didn't like the way I looked in the mirror, though that was not the main reason I needed to get healthy. I really got to about 2 o'clock the end of the day. You know the afternoon the school day with my kids.
I was tired all the time I realized that my kids were watching what I was eating I was setting a pattern for them and none of that was okay with me. I needed to make some changes so those wise were pretty strong for me for my kids sake. And then I did feel some spiritual conviction. To that I wasn't taking care of my body yet that verse that you mentioned earlier what ever you do, whether you eat or drink do it as unto the Lord. I was doing lots of other ministry staff.
As unto the Lord, but I wasn't literally considering what I was eating or drinking okay so one of the things I'm here clearly as you had to be motivated during this honk if I could call the fog.
You know you're just getting up every day loving looking and getting dressed in them by 2 o'clock no energy. A hero and then that motivation occurred. So what are the practical ways to achieve.
Once you've got the realization that I'm not a good place know what what what are some of practical things we can do. So I began to just look at my day where were the times of day and the types of foods that I was eating that were triggers for me and once I got clear on that. It made it much easier to put a practical change into place so I noticed Framingham tired by then to dandies for lovely blaze back at a time there in bed. I am wiped out and I just wanted to sink onto the couch and reward myself for getting through the day and sell for me like John is ice cream.
I would go to that freezer. Open up that refrigerator guy would scoop the ice cream for me and it wasn't just a serving size.
It was a nice big bowlful and I would eat ice cream every night years and so I began to realize that if I keep doing that. Obviously that's not to be supportive of getting healthier and so I had to say okay put a different plan in place.
You have to put little sign on the freezer Amber kitchens closed after dinner, brush your teeth so that you have that minty fresh feeling you don't want to sabotage that just practical things to remind hate that old pattern is serving you're doing things differently now.
The kitchens closed and then internally. I also had to realize that they pulled ice cream to sugar to some of those bids was a numbing mechanism for me as I spent time with the Lord and really tried to pray. Thriller turning to food so often is it just the sugar is there more to it I realized that I was not processing a lot of my emotions grief. In particular, it had a miscarriage. A couple years earlier and there were things that I just had not fully worked through with the Lord and I knew that I needed to process that emotionally and that was a key turning point for me and I think I mean I'm being a little whimsical with this book, you know, connecting the triggers to your pattern I think are some of this is a little difficult is what I'm trying to express or how do we begin and actually you know those are very, very strong connections for you the miscarriage and you and I just don't.
I'm not in that place so I'm obviously missing puppetry does a pretty good but you know where and if you do that like one time a week is that like Sally, I think it just really depends again on a pattern and we a lot of us know that the things that were eating are not helping us a lot of us feel shame about that and some of the ways that we can detect that is, are we eating food and then hiding the wrappers. Are we going to the drive through and not telling anybody before we get home. There are certain things that we do that actually are no warning signs that hey this is me using food for temporary pleasure for temporary satisfaction but then what happens is then the shame comes and conviction comes and the guilty feelings come and were worse off than when we started okay.
I think boredom eating might be more category, I can relate to. None else. So you not even hungry in the right of the pantry and open it up and find this puppetry does. It is yeah the board and for me that started early on when I was a mom with young kids. I had a big transition in life. I had been working.
Now I'm home with kids. My husband is going off to work and while I wanted to always be a mom. That was the thing I looked forward to most in my life. I actually found myself not enjoying the mundane nests of that everyday routine and I would get up, cook, clean, do the parenting and I started to grow frustrated with my life. I thought really, you know that I don't feel like I have a lot of purpose and I know that raising my kids is an honor and that it's a blessing, but try as I may. I was bored. I didn't enjoy it like I thought I would. I love seeing my kids discover their world. Meanwhile, my world started to shrink and it felt much smaller and sell that just turn to. Well, I can come home I'll just start looking all these amazing things and I'll try new recipes.
It's just something creative to do fill the time and before long somebody had to eat all that food. It was me I was there. The liberals didn't eat very much so it put me on a trajectory of this pattern of overeating as well and it was because I felt very purposeless at that time. Describe how you get rid of the boredom eating know how to give up the boot and what he replace with okay so the ultimate food fight is exchanging unhealthy patterns for God honoring habits of the ultimate food fight for me so I had to look at that pattern of just clicking to try to fill a hole which didn't really just being bored and say okay Lord I need to get back to my quiet time with you and be more intentional. So when my kids took a nap instead of baking, I went back to my Bible and I started to explore like what is the thing that I'm seeking what is the hunger that I'm really craving.
What is that thing and so I began to realize that I just felt purposeless. Even though I loved being a mom. I didn't feel fulfilled and I began to recognize that I had a lot of selfishness that I was making everything about me you know that I wasn't enjoying this instead of again doing everything, as unto the Lord, even that mundane task of taking care of the Hallman and the joy being with my kids that there was great purpose and that that was a blessing and I had to reorient my thinking and where God had me in that season and turned to him instead of the food that's good.
That makes sense to me to try something different than putting something in your mouth right S yeah exactly such a weird base habit though it is a human being.
Why do we lean into that because that's what everybody around us does to me. Culturally, this is just what we do. Everything is so focused on food and it's very accessible and it's everywhere you look there is food and sell.
We are just conditioned to turn to food and every moment for everything for every occasion for sad we turn to food and for board return to food for excited were celebrating a win at that soccer game who's the parent yet. Who's got all the traits everything is about food at church. It's that Christmas time. It's the cookie exchange you know what just very much focused on if it is something about how God wired so there is this their bonding around a meal except her family evenings room dinner or something really good about eating together, and were designed for community but when community means food and that's our focus.
We can get off track, so we don't want to neglect getting together and we don't want to neglect being together, but we also want to be careful about what that culture looks like and how can we foster it to make it something that's actually going to serve both our health journey and the other things were looking for in community like the Fellowship cell MI has been. He had a group of gentlemen, it would come to our house and use the fireplace gas fire pit and we would Holly place to be when you are a believer and so they need encouragement so we would put on this lavish meal and it just dead little dachshund fire pit in the backyard overlooking the valley beautiful just some time of encouragement in prayer for these men working in high lead and I would take a lot of pride in putting this lavish spread lasagna and bread and all kinds of desserts, multiple desserts in a lemon pie lemons from my orchard and I took a lot of pride and had me it was on.
My Italian husband that was still adventure that when I started on my health journey and I made a decision to change and to really find my purpose instead of continuing to pick my poison, which was the food and to really begin to look at how I even host events, and an approach community. I had to change all that, you know, we started doing barbecued chicken and lovely salads and instead of all the desserts you know we would have a fruit platter with some yogurt debt and it changed.
And guess what, nobody complained. Nobody said all I got, and came back the second and third time they kept coming back because really they were there for the Fellowship that was their focus.
I was trying to make it about me and about the food they didn't really care about that. It was the gathering together that matter.
Okay, so that's good because your hosting that you can decide what to make and what you put out good about right, but when you're going to somebody else's environment party would you do to manage. You know, looking for the things you can eat. So when you're going to gathering, and you know there's going to be food there is likely it will be things that you may not want to eat. I say don't go hungry.
First of all eat before you go to something healthy that you feel good about. If it's a potluck or something that you can contribute to or even if someone's willing to host you can still offer to bring something bring something that is on whatever plan you want to use or whatever type of diet that you may be fostering in your home and and contribute in a way that's healthy, but ultimately I try to make a goal at every gathering to be a blessing to others to meet at least three new people to engage in conversation and to stay away from the table. I don't need to make that my focus doesn't have to be all about the birthday cake instead. What about the people that are there went what in what ways can I notice the car and in the fun things around me and all the other touches that the host is hit or host his and done to make this a lovely event and not so much care about the food not so true. Last night we had some guests over for dinner and I wasn't feel like dessert needed. We had a good meal and then Jean put cheesecake out for everybody and that's the point you go say, even if it's on the plate in front the other, push it away.
I didn't really have the desire that beating just because it was that it's there and you know I think the thing that people miss out on when they're going to gatherings or events, or they just passed over for dinner, but advocating for yourself in a sink has had to switch to now and I'm on a health journey and eating healthier these days. I do not want to inconvenience you something. Maybe I could bring often times people will want to accommodate you and they are there to bless you and sell advocate for yourself. Don't be afraid to let people know about the changes that you're making sticking with that stress eating why does it have such a hold on us again we come started there. But when wrapping and the end here and what can we do about it so with stress. There's a few things that we can do a lot of exercise to lose weight and exercise for me. My new way of thinking is that exercise is really for stress management. It released yet it.so if we can think of exercise, not as a way to lose weight, let's let our nutrition do that. But let's think of exercise activity just to release endorphins to help with stress but then also looking at that pattern of turning to food when you're stressed and let's replace it with that, God honoring habit you maybe just need to take up bubblebath.
Maybe you need to put on some worship music and light a candle and just have some calming behaviors there certain things that we can do practically to combat those patterns but then also again, always to go to the root of that sampling Lord, you tell me to cast all my anxiety on you and I'm not doing that so I need your help. I need you to help me cast my anxiety on you to put in place some healthier habits that are going to combat the stress and to recognize that God is for us, and he doesn't want us to operate from a place of feeling emotion from our emotions to enslave us.
Our emotions should serve us. So paying attention to the stress to the emotions to all of those things and then going back to God and saying, Lord, help me to use these emotions. The circumstances for good and not for my harm. I like the idea of finding ways to calm yourself down because this environment there were always ratchets you up so to be intentional about finding ways to calm down.
It's a good thing like saving a biblical thing right kind of separating when Jesus stood separated from the crowds from time to time. Rapture the disciples were thinking your God you can do so much in this time so just keep working. Lord Vanessa felt that he didn't demonstrate that and he peeled off and got kind of got his tank filled up again. Let me let me ask in terms of emotions. You have a three step process that you use. I think it stopped challenge to well emotions back in us to move quickly. They want us to react and to do it now, but never have the joy and emotions are great but they are not great if were often acting in the moment and were irrational about it. Sell the idea of stop challenge choose and I didn't put breathing there stop challenge Marie and then make it better choice stop when the emotions arise challenge them dig a little bit why am I feeling this way.
Why is my body tensing. Why am I having the urge to drive towards the drive-through instead of home what's happening right here challenge at dig into it and then choose make a choice I'm either going to choose to give then to yield to this moment, or a minute. She is to honor what I've committed to and being healthy and remembering your why in that moment when I picture my kids when I'm tempted by that cheesecake that genes but now I remind myself. I had cheesecake before. You know, I know it tastes like. Why do I want to have that right now. Is it just because it's there is it because I've had a rough day long.
I don't need to make a different choice or I'm fine emotionally. This is lovely. I want to honor my guess the thing, but this out for me I can have a couple bites I don't have to go overboard and enjoy it. One meal is not can erase my whole healthy lifestyle, but being cognizant being aware being intentional I think is what God calls us to do that self-control and I had thought of this but it popped up another example of feeling that you had to finish everything right. That's were I make a mistake and somehow I don't know how I got the beaten into my head somehow sums on your plate you got Udo a lot of crap that you will because her starving children some rather we end of argument is left behind and globally. Right now, more people are actually dying from overeating than malnourishment. So, those days are behind, and portions are out of control and to do with people that have done that. They just cook the meal and have absolutely walks or whatever lookout start looking at labels you would a serving size actually is.
My kids don't eat out of the bag anymore dealt if I had to wait for a bowl because they know moms and ask them to portion it out. You know what's so good about that. You start feeling the change and its kind, it reinforces the positive choices that you're making.
Then I go to the wardrobe all the way back to the beginning of this discussion we talked about opening your your wardrobe feel little better you're more motivated for all the right reasons. So I think at the end here. It's really speaking to that person. Maybe you know that woman who you describe for the loaded with guilt and shame. And she might be in that spot.
I don't want to create the poundage, but it's more in guys drew on their you know, I'm thankful I've lost about 30 pounds over the last couple years, but I got more to go but speak to the heavy laden heart you know she does me know she can just put the left foot from the right foot and my husband is mentioning it way too much. It feels overwhelming for many of us, and what I want listeners to know and understand is this doesn't have to be hard there event some very simple things that you can do very simple, practical exchanges that you can make that are going to give you a lot of freedom and movement in the right direction. Even just having 88 ounce glasses of water every day trying to protect seven hours of sleep being intentional enlisting an ally in your life that can journey with you on your health journey. There's a lot of simple things that make a big difference. Don't be overwhelmed in our enemies. Gonna try to tell us that it's too hard that you can't have victory trying to many times before. It's always going to be the same and that is not the God that we know God says to us that we are a new creation. He says that he is an ever present help in trouble. He says that his plans for us are good to prosper us and not to harm us and so we are not powerless we are not the victims of our past. We do not have to listen to shaming language but we will need to exchange those unhealthy patterns with God honoring habits.
It starts with truth, and then practical steps in the right direction, but there is so much help bring on the asparagus to bring every resident so much of what a great book through triggers and you fit so many key issues. These are core things to who we are human beings that God created for the right direction and then we give up the truth for a lot and thank you for the reminder of the God's way is a better way and I hope people will tap into Focus on the Family get a copy of this resource.
With such a great book of the part of the ministry make a donation of any amount, one-time gift, or even better monthly gift that helps us really stabilize the budget and will send you a copy of Amber's book is our way of saying thank you for being part of the ministry donated as you can when you call it hundred letter a in the word family 800-232-6459 or click the link in the show notes to make the donation and request your book Amber.
Again, thanks for being with us.
Thank you for having me. It's always such a blessing to be here. I hope your listeners will be encouraged. One sure you have enjoyed this as you listen to and join us again tomorrow really show teachers how God remained with her after losing her husband to suicide, but I believe with every fiber of my being that each one of those pivotal times has created a shift for me and was created to deeper trust and a deeper confidence in God that no matter where he has. I'm right where he wants me to be on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team. Thanks for being with us today. John Fuller see you next time.
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