Showing God's Love to Women With Unplanned Pregnancies

God knows what he's doing. Every baby is planned. It may be unplanned by the mom, but every baby is planned.

And a baby is not a sin. A baby is a miracle. Well, that is truly a pro-life attitude, and you'll hear more from our guest, Amy Ford, on today's edition of Focus on the Family. Thanks for joining us.

Your host is Focus President and author, Jim Daly, and I'm John Fuller. John, when you consider the fact that a baby is created in the image of God, it's easy to see Amy's point. Every baby is a miracle, and that makes it all the more important for each one of us to get involved in the pro-life movement. You might not have time to volunteer at your local pregnancy center or attend the March for Life in Washington, D.C., but can you give an encouraging word to a pregnant girl?

Can you be a friend? That's the challenge that Amy has for us today. Amy Ford is the co-founder and president of Embrace Grace, which provides curriculum and support to church-based ministries serving young women with unplanned pregnancies. What a place to show up. And you'll hear how Amy got involved in the pro-life movement as she begins her story.

And here now is Amy Ford speaking at our all-staff chapel gathering on today's Focus on the Family. A little bit about me and my story. I'm going to tell you the super short version because I've actually been on the broadcast a couple times, so you may have heard it already. But the super short version is that I had an unplanned pregnancy when I was 19. I was terrified to tell my parents, you know, the enemy lies to you and tells you like the worst case scenario that can possibly happen.

And I believed all of it. I was going to be homeless, you know, my parents were going to hate me, all of the things. And so we, me and my baby daddy, we scheduled the abortion appointment. And I went there to have it done and I ended up hyperventilating and passing out in the abortion room. And when I came to, the nurses were fanning me, kind of trying to give me a drink of water. And they said, you're too emotionally distraught to make this decision today. You can come back another day, but today you're not getting an abortion. So I went back out onto the waiting room, told my baby daddy that we're still pregnant.

You could see my face was swollen from crying so much. And we just decided in that moment, okay, we'll just figure it out if we are going to be homeless, if we are, you know, all of these terrible things. We thought our life was over, dreams were over, all of that.

If that's going to happen, at least we have each other. And so we ended up choosing life. We told our parents, it wasn't as bad as we thought it would be.

They definitely were disappointed in the timing, but they were supportive. And, but we, so we decided to get married and we had asked the man that had led my husband to the Lord years before, we asked him if he would marry us. And he said, no, I can't marry you because you've sinned and so I can't bless this marriage. And we were like, oh my gosh, we are such horrible people.

We can't even get married, right? You know, and, but we ended up finding someone else that would marry us and it was such a beautiful wedding, but it felt like a scarlet letter. Like it felt like people were watching, you know, all of the crazy thoughts that you have.

Like, what are people thinking? And it was just a day that I felt so much shame about our situation. So then we tried to go to church, but it's like the elephant in the room and people don't know whether to say congratulations or I'm sorry. So they don't say anything.

And then you feel alone in a crowd of people. And I knew everyone knew that I was pregnant, but no one really was. And so I knew that they were talking to each other about it, but no one was really talking to me. And looking back, I don't think it was because they were mad necessarily. It was more that they just didn't know what to say. So we didn't really like the way it made us feel when we went to church.

So we just stopped going for a really long time. And we ended up having a son and he's so amazing. His name's Jess. He actually works in the pro-life movement now. He graduated from Oral Roberts University. He just got married last year.

And it's so crazy to think that it was so close that he wasn't here. And I love too that he looks at it that he, because I told him when he was 13, I told him his story and I was super nervous and I had all my friends praying because I didn't want him to take it as rejection. I had my first book coming out and so he had to know. And at first he, you know, he's a typical 13 year old.

I'm like, how does this make you feel? And he's like, oh, he's a boy, you know. But over the next few months he did struggle a little bit because the enemy started lying to him. Like you weren't supposed to be here and you weren't ever wanted and he knows good and well how loved he is.

But the enemy was lying to him. And then one day about six months later he came to us and he said that I heard from God. He said that I was an overcomer before I was ever even born.

And that Satan had a plan to take me out but I'm here and I'm going to use my life to change the world. Oh my God, that's amazing. Proud. And so I love it.

He's passionate about life. And one thing that's cool too is that that pastor that wouldn't marry us, he actually a couple years later called my husband out of the blue and he asked for forgiveness. And he said that it was his worst mistake in pasturing history that he had ever made and will you please forgive me for what I did. He said I had a religious heart, I had a Pharisee, I had a Pharisee heart, a religious spirit, I'm so sorry will you forgive me. And my husband who adores this guy said I forgive you.

And they're still to this day such great friends. But you know I love that God turns everything for good for those that love him. And he did that with my story and I really think back about what would it have looked like. Like I went to church every single week. I didn't have relationship with the Lord very much but I did go to church every single week with my family. What would it have looked like if I had found out I was pregnant, totally terrified and I had thought you know what, I could go to the church and ask for prayer and wisdom and guidance and support.

I don't know what to do but it actually was the last place I wanted to go to. And so we started an organization called Embrace Grace because we want the church to be one of the first places a girl runs to instead of the last because of shame and guilt. And we believe that the church can be the hope of the world in this situation, that we can be the hands and feet. We say pro-life is a stance but pro-love is an action and it's God's kindness that leads us to repentance. It's his goodness that draws us to his side. And you know we are the church, right? Like there's church buildings everywhere but we are the church and we represent Jesus everywhere that we go. God's bringing us people all the time and I've seen too and he did this for my own life that sometimes when he wants to woo his daughter or son back to him and back to his heart, he might just give him a baby to do it.

He might just give him the sweetest face that they've ever laid eyes on so that they can maybe get the teeniest tiniest glimpse of how much God must love them. And I've seen girls that were like, I was about to kill myself. I was on drugs. I thought my life was over and then I got pregnant.

And then things changed. God knows what he's doing. Every baby is planned. It may be unplanned by the mom but every baby is planned and a baby is not a sin. A baby is a miracle.

No matter how I got here. But God is bringing us people all the time and you know the world is our mission field. We have to be watching and looking. I can't tell you how many women I have met that are pregnant and single. And I will say I have a radar for it.

I'm looking for it. I can tell even if they're not very far along. I can tell kind of by the way they put their hand on their belly. I have gotten in trouble and thought they were pregnant but they weren't and that's extremely awkward.

But I've learned through trial and error how to do this and how to ask the right questions to make it totally work. But because I have the radar for it, I see them everywhere. Everywhere. And they're asking God do you see me? And when you think about the first single mom in the Bible, Hagar, she referred to God as the God who sees. The first single mom in the Bible.

And I can't tell you how many single moms that I meet. Whether they've had their baby yet or they're expecting that they're asking God do you see me? And then her son Ishmael, his name meant God hears.

So the first child of a single mom, his name means God hears. But we are his people. We are the miracle. We can be their miracle.

But we can't just go coast through life, clock in, clock out to our jobs here and then go home. The world is our mission field. Everywhere we go is an opportunity to show the love of Jesus.

Everywhere we go. I one time met a girl who had told me how she had heard about Embrace Grace. She said that she had found out she was pregnant.

Totally terrified. She was a single child and she had a dad but she didn't have a mom. And she told her dad she was pregnant. He was so furious with her. He said you can have an abortion or you can do adoption but you're not having this baby. You're going to be a terrible mom. And the baby dad was already in jail.

Totally crazy situation. But she just struggled. She went to the abortion clinic, saw people standing outside the clinic and kept on driving.

She met with an adoptive family but it just something didn't feel right about it and so she said no to that. Well she worked at a UPS store and she goes into work and right before she was walking into her shift she was like, God can you bring me someone that has a box that has the word church on the label and that way I'll know that they're a safe person to talk to because I literally have no one to talk to. I don't know what to do. So she goes in and she works her shift and five minutes before closing here comes a guy with a box that has the word church on the label. And she's like do you work at a church? And he's like no I have a company that makes websites for churches. She's like oh okay and he could see the disappointment in her face and he's like well I go to church and she's like you do and that was it. She just let it all out crying. My dad said I'll be a horrible mom. I don't know what to do and she just poured her heart out to this guy and I know this guy. He's the dad of four boys and he was just like I don't know what's happening right now.

I'm just trying to ship my package. But he was like he just said some encouraging words. He didn't really know what to say but he's like I think our church probably has something for you.

Let me get your information. I'll have my wife call you. It's going to be okay. And she got plugged into an Embrace Grace group and she was in my group. And it was about the third class so she was the new girl because we had already started a couple weeks before she showed up. But I'll never forget what she said and it has stuck with me my entire life since this happened. She said you know my dad thinks I'll be a horrible mom but that guy at the UPS store said he thought I would be a good mom. She was telling all the girls this in our Embrace Grace support group and I just was thinking what did she just say? A perfect stranger that she most likely would never meet again said something that he just he couldn't think of anything. I think you'll be a great mom.

And that was literally all she had to hold on to. Someone believes in me. Our words have life and death in the power of our tongue and God is bringing us people all the time. Do y'all have Sonics here? Okay well we have Sonic and at Sonic we've had a lot of Embrace Grace girls work at Sonic and I didn't know this but apparently you are supposed to tip at Sonic and I didn't know. And apparently at Sonic you can swipe your card now but you can't they don't have a tip line so if you're going to tip you have to have cash and I hardly ever have cash and so I kind of hardly ever go.

I live in Texas it was super hot and it was happy hour and you can get the slushies half off. I had all four kids in my car and we were going to Sonic and I thought I had cash. And so I pressed the button placed the order and digging in my purse realized I had no cash and I was like oh no this is not good. So I swiped my card and then when the girl came out I said I am so sorry I thought I had cash to tip you I don't have any tip but I'll go to the ATM machine and I'll go get some cash and I'll bring it back for you. And she's like no you don't have to do that but if you want to you can.

I was like yeah okay I'll do it. So I go and I come back and I was like hey what's your name and she's like my name's Zoe and I said oh I love that name. I said my fourth I have four kids my fourth is a baby and before I knew he was a boy my girl name I had picked out was Zoe and did you know that your name means life but it's not just like just survival kind of life like just life life it's like the heavenly realm of life. Like it's the John 10 10 the John 3 16 heaven on earth life did you know that she's like no but she's like wait so you have a baby and I said well you know he's about one he's kind of a big baby. She said well I just found out I'm pregnant and me and my boyfriend are super nervous do you have any advice for me.

I was like God this is the perfect setup like how amazing is it. I was like I got her connected to a pregnancy center I got her connected to an Embrace Grace group. I was at her wedding I was at her birth she ended up having a boy she got tons of my boys to hand me downs. It was so close that I missed out on such a special and amazing relationship because if I would have treated her like she was a robot or just another person that's doing a transaction for me. She was a real person and praying and asking God to bring me someone that could give me some advice on what to do. And it all started by asking her name. That was it and he's bringing his people all the time.

It's just sometimes we might get too busy to do it. I met her pastor once in Dallas that had said his daughter had an unplanned pregnancy and she had really rebelled and gone away and then she ended up finding out she was pregnant. That baby dad was in jail already and she said dad I'm sorry will you please can I come back home and I just need your support and your help. So she came back home he told the congregation about her being pregnant and they were pretty supportive. But whenever she had a little girl and she said after she had a little girl she said dad I want to dedicate my baby at the next dedication service and the way this church does it is they'll have a family that stands out you know they'll have like five families all at the front and they'll do one family at a time and they'll say if you're part or connected with this family will you please stand and we're going to pray over this baby and then they do the next family and the next family and the next family. Well then they get to this daughter and her little girl and he said is there anyone here in this church that represents this woman and this child and something amazing happened. The whole church stood up. This is what the church looks like whether we're here in this building working or we are out getting our groceries. We are the church how much it must have meant to her to see a body of Christ a family a spiritual family that stood up and said we are in this with you.

It made all the difference in the world. There was a girl one time that did embrace grace her name was Brittany and she wanted to come to embrace grace she's called me and said hey I want to do this group because I want to get the free baby shower but just so you know I'm Wiccan and I believe in witchcraft. Is that going to be a problem coming to your church and I was like no it's fine just come and she didn't have a car so I would pick her up and take her and she was so smart like she what her parents had given her all the books of religion when she was young, and they had said you know you believe what you want to believe in there was something about witchcraft that she connected with something about nature and the trees and I don't really know, but it wasn't the truth it was a false truth. So she would come every single week and we had such great dialogue on the way there. She got to hear the gospel planting seeds planting seeds planting seeds and I just knew in my heart. I knew it that there was going to be a salvation experience like I believed it.

I was standing on it. I was so pumped about it was going to happen. And one day when I was taking her and she never missed a week ever one day when I was taking her she said you know I like the way it makes me feel when I come to this group. I was like yes you know it's happening we know that's the Holy Spirit that's the Holy Spirit cooperating with the Holy Spirit.

And so we did the whole semester the whole you know Bracegrace is 12 weeks long they get a baby shower they get loved on they have a princess day all this stuff she does the whole thing. And she never surrenders her life to the Lord and I remember going back home and I was kind of offended like I didn't say it to her but like internally between me and God I'm like God what what happened like she did the whole thing she never even missed one class. What happened what was the breakdown why didn't she surrender life to Jesus I really thought she was going to do it. And I heard the Lord say you're planting seeds. Do you think that a girl that is wicked would have ever stepped foot in a church if you hadn't created a safe place for her to be there. So let my people keep planting the seeds and trust me I was like okay so I lost track with her her phone number changed for a while. A year later she calls me totally out of the blue freaking out and she said Amy you'll never believe this. But I pulled out my embrace grace curriculum from a year before and I've just been reading it again and I've been thinking maybe God's trying to talk to me like I would think something and then something would happen and I was like God is that you I don't know. She was the manager of a restaurant slash gas station and she said she went in praying before she went into work and she was like God if you hear me if you're real.

I don't want to just think you're real like I want to know you're real so if you could do something that's like a little bit more advanced like that I just know you know I know I don't have any doubts. So she goes into work and as she's working this guy comes up to her counter and she I remember she said he was seemed very nervous. And he came up to her and he said I know this is going to sound really crazy but I really felt like the Lord wanted you to know that he loves you and he sees you and all he wants is your heart. And she was like what. So she goes straight home and she gets her embrace grace curriculum from the year before and she puts the tiara on her head because that's something it's all about you know being a daughter of the king she she wanted to put this on she goes into the bathroom and she looked in the mirror because she said I wanted it to be a moment that was seared in my memory that this is the day that I've surrendered my life to the Lord.

This is it. And so she prayed the salvation prayer and she's rendered a life to Jesus and I was the first person she called and I was so excited so freaking out. And after I got off the phone, I was thanking God and so happy and the Lord reminded me of two things. One, she liked the way it made her feel when she came to church.

That was it. It's God's kindness that leads us to repentance. It was his love that drew her to him. And then he reminded me of the guy like how amazing he cooperated with the Holy Spirit and he did it nervously came up to the counter and was obedient to the Holy Spirit's prompting and said something to her that he has no idea. That she went home and surrendered her life to Jesus.

He probably walked away and was like, I'm such a dork, why God, why do you make me do these things? She went straight home and surrendered her life to Jesus. And I could just imagine someday in heaven, Jesus is like, hey, remember that girl that I told you to go talk to? Well, here she is.

And here's her kids and her grandkids and her great-grandkids. The legacy, and it wasn't just him, it was the body of Christ working together, planting seeds that finally led to her salvation. And now more than ever, the world is looking for a savior, whether they know it or not, they are looking for a savior. Savior means rescuer. They are looking for a rescuer. And what you guys are doing is impacting the world.

All of us working together, we can be the change that we want to see in the world. I know sometimes we feel like we have to wait for this magical moment where a light shines down from heaven and you're at the grocery store and the person in front of you, you know, you're kind of feeling like, am I supposed to pay for that single mom's groceries? And you're not really sure, but like the light isn't necessarily shining down on you and you're not hearing an audible voice from the Lord, but you feel something.

And then you're like, oh, maybe it's just me. Let me just tell you, it's not the devil, okay? The devil's not telling you to pay for somebody's groceries.

It's not you either because you're probably not that nice. It's the Lord. The Lord is telling you to do that. I want to pray over you guys in closing.

God, thank you so much for this powerful team that allows you to work in and through them. Give us opportunities to talk to single and pregnant women. Give us opportunities to talk to people that are desperate for the hope of you, God. We are here. We have our eyes open. We have our ears open.

We have our hands open. We are open to however you want to use this, God. We know that we're not here on earth because just to clock in and clock out and survive every day, God, we are on earth to thrive. And we know that it's just a vapor. Our life is just a vapor. It's all about you. That's why we're here.

It's all about you. We want to make heaven crowded, God. Help us plant seeds. Show us how to do it, God, because we are willing and we want to be obedient to your word. And we know that the way that you receive love is through our obedience.

And we want to cooperate and partner with you to bring the hope to the world. And that's how Amy Ford concluded her message to the Focus on the Family staff just a few months ago. John, what I love about Amy is that she doesn't just talk the talk.

She is walking the walk. She's out there meeting women who need help with their unplanned pregnancies. Her ministry, Embrace Grace, started as a small group at her church and has grown to over 650 support groups. Thousands of women have chosen life for their babies and found ongoing help as young mothers through Embrace Grace. And as we've discussed ways to get involved in the pro-life movement, there's one idea. You can help start an Embrace Grace outreach at your church.

We're going to have a link for you to get started in the show notes. That's a great idea, John. Another way to get involved is through Focus on the Family's Option Ultrasound program, which has saved the lives of almost half a million babies. Through the years, we've seen that 54% of abortion-minded women who have counseling and ultrasound will choose life.

That's the power of that visual image. If you haven't donated to Option Ultrasound, let me encourage you to do so today. Your support helps us supply pregnancy resource centers with equipment and training to provide free ultrasounds to mothers considering abortion. Every $60 that you give will help save one baby from abortion. And right now, special friends of the ministry who believe in life are offering to match your gift dollar for dollar. Your $60 donation will be doubled to $120, saving two babies. And when you give a gift of any amount today, we'll send you a copy of Amy Ford's book called, Help Her Be Brave, Discover Your Place in the Pro-Life Movement. It will give you more practical ideas on how to get involved in protecting the lives of preborn children and helping those young mothers as well.

Get in touch with us today. And you can do that when you call 800, the letter A in the word family, or follow the link in the episode notes to donate to the work of Focus on the Family and request your book. While you're online with us, be sure to follow the link to See Life 2022.

It's a 12-week digital journey celebrating all aspects of the pro-life movement, including a live event on June 14th right here on our campus. Next time you'll hear from Amber Leah, she shares encouragement from her own personal journey of breaking the chains of food addiction and embracing healthier, God-honoring eating habits. You know, our enemy's going to try to tell us that it's too hard, that you can't have victory, you've tried too many times before, it's always going to be the same. And that is not the God that we know.

God says to us that we are a new creation. On behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team, thanks for joining us today for this Focus on the Family podcast. If you would, please leave a rating in your podcast app and help others discover the great content we have here and share about this episode with a friend, won't you? I'm John Fuller inviting you back next time as we once more help you and your family thrive in Christ. Join us every Monday to hear inspiring stories from people who faced their own pro-life moments and experienced God's love. To learn more, go to FocusOnTheFamily.com slash Seize Your Moment. That's FocusOnTheFamily.com slash Seize Your Moment.