Experiencing God's Grace in a Special Need Family

Sandra Peeples knows firsthand what it's like to have a family member with special needs, and her experiences have really shaped her life. She's got encouragement for you today on Focus on the Family as we observe Sanctity of Human Life Week. Thanks for joining us.

Your host is Focus President and author Jim Daly, and I'm John Fuller. John, according to the last census, almost one in five families, one in five, that's 20% in the U.S., includes someone with a disability ranging from autism to Alzheimer's. That's a significant number. And so there are families who need hope, and they need help, and they need to know that they're not invisible to the rest of us. And maybe you have felt that way. You are that family.

You're that one in five. We need to do a better job of offering these families encouragement and help and hope, and that's the core of the discussion today. Yeah, I'm really glad we're having this conversation.

I'm looking forward to talking to our guest. Sandra Peeples is really a leading voice in the disability community. She serves as the special needs ministry consultant for the Southern Baptist of Texas Convention and is the inclusion coordinator for special needs families in her own church. Sandra has written a really insightful book. It's called Unexpected Blessings, the Joys and Possibilities of Life in a Special Needs Family.

And we have copies of that here at the ministry. Click the link in the episode notes or give us a call, 800, the letter A in the word family. Sandra, welcome to Focus on the Family. Thank you. I'm so excited to be here. It's good to have you. You're coming up from Houston. I am, yeah.

We have great friends in that area, and we love Houston. Oh, it's a great place. It is.

It is. Sandra, let's paint that picture for the listener of who you are. Give us an idea.

You're working in the church. Why is this need about special needs families so important to you? Well, I have been a member of a special needs family my entire life. My older sister Sybil, she's just 14 months older than I am, and she has Down syndrome. And so as her younger sister, I have never known life outside of a special needs family. We grew up in a small town in Oklahoma, and because she has Down syndrome and that's one of those visible disabilities, we were pretty well known in our community. In fact, I was often referred to as Sybil's sister instead of as Sandra. And so because we were so close in age, we went to school together right there. All my high school years were spent with her as well. Being her sister really shaped who I am and who I was. I remember the first time I heard somebody make fun of somebody with a disability. I mean, I remember where I was standing on the playground, remember every detail about it, and in that moment I had to decide, am I going to stand up for her and for other people with disabilities, some of whom can't stand up for themselves?

Or am I going to try to just fade in and look just like everybody else and be just like my peers? And so growing up as her sister shaped so much about who I am now. Well, and it's so important. What was your decision in that moment? And how old are you? 13? No, I was seven. I was in elementary school. I remember it really clearly.

So she was just the grade in front of you? Yeah. And so I remember being on the playground and these two friends and they made fun of, they were kind of mimicking what a person with a disability would act like. And they used the R, we call it the R word. We don't normally say it.

It's retarded. It's now not used. It's usually used as an insult now. And so I thought, well, and even at that point, I thought, I didn't know that was a bad word. I didn't know that was a word that you used to be mean to somebody else. I thought it was just a label because, you know, this is in the 80s. And so I had to say to my friends, that's not okay.

As a seven? This is not how we speak kindly to each other. My sister and her friends can't always stand up for themselves against this kind of talk and this kind of, it's not okay. And what's interesting, the very first adult that I heard make fun of somebody with disabilities was one of these girls' moms. And so you knew where it was coming from. It was something she heard at her home.

But it was, that is not okay. Again, that's such an amazing thing that you had that upbringing, you know, that it was part of who you are, not just part of your family, but as part of who you are. Your sister who has Down syndrome, she's part of who you are in that way. And, you know, what I have found so often is people that grow up in those families where there is a special needs child, they're really pretty sensitive, obviously.

And you were like that. And I think that's an amazing positive for people who grew up in families that, you know, have that situation. Yeah, I agree. What did the doctor say about civil? There was some profound thing.

Yeah. What happened and give us the circumstances. So she was born in 1977, just a couple of days after Christmas in the small town where my parents live. Now, she was their first child. And so there was no indication through my mom's pregnancy that there would be anything different about her. So when she was born was the first time that they knew they would have a child with a disability. So she not only had Down syndrome, she had an intestinal blockage.

And so nothing that she ate would process through her body. And so the doctors took her from the small town in Oklahoma, where we lived, to Oklahoma City, where they were better hospitals. And a young doctor took my dad into like a janitor's closet and said, look, your daughter has two issues. She has this intestinal blockage that's fixable by surgery. She also has Down syndrome, which will affect her and you every day for the rest of your life. The intestinal blockage will kill her. And so if you don't want to have a daughter with a disability for the rest of your life, we won't perform this surgery.

We will just let her die naturally from this intestinal blockage. And you guys can have more kids and you can go on as if this didn't happen. And so, you know, I mean, it's my parents first child. There's this whirlwind of going to a different hospital and being in the janitor's closet. And I just can't imagine being faced with a decision like that just hours after your first baby's been born. And my dad said, no, we believe God has a purpose for her and has a purpose for her being in our family. And of course, we want you to perform that lifesaving surgery.

And they did. And but it's just that story has stuck with me when we're talking about the value of somebody's life, thinking that because of a disability, their life has less value than any of the rest of us, even though they are fearfully and wonderfully made with a purpose, just like any of the rest of us are. I mean, it so demonstrates a worldly view versus a spiritually directed view. I like to see her eyes light up and have her read some of the things to me. It's fun. Your child will love Focus on the Family Clubhouse and Focus on the Family Clubhouse Jr. magazines. They're filled with fun activities, jokes and faith based stories that will capture your child's heart and imagination. It really is just a good age level for my kids, and that's exactly what I was looking for. I'm so excited, too, that it just focuses on the Lord. Learn more at Focus on the Family dot com slash club radio.