Offering Hope to Families Experiencing Drug Addiction (Part 2 of 2)

Well, you know, we hear people, especially in Colorado now, say that marijuana is not a gateway drug. And that's fine if people want to believe that, but for me it was, and everybody that I ever knew that was on meth started with marijuana. Right, right.

I think the evidence is pretty strong that it is. Right, right. That's Mac Owen describing his own painful and nearly destructive journey with drug addiction. And Mac and his wife Mary are back with us today on Focus on the Family.

Your host is Focus President and author Jim Daly, and I'm John Fuller. John, we had a powerful conversation last time with Mac and Mary who grew up right in the middle of the drug revolution that gripped this nation during the 60s and 70s. And even though they came from loving Christian homes, they were drawn to a party lifestyle at that time and would leave their youth group to join their friends in drinking and smoking marijuana, and even experimenting with harder drugs. That was a normal part of their everyday life. But underneath all of what they considered fun and getting high were feelings of guilt and shame, especially for Mary who had been taught since childhood about giving her life to the Lord and following Him day to day. Tragically, I think many Christian families struggle with these same issues now. There's a growing momentum in the U.S. to legalize drugs, especially marijuana, and we're already seeing the harmful consequences in traffic deaths, overdoses, and simply what marijuana can do to your apathy.

You're just not motivated to get out there and pursue productive lives. And we are hearing from parents who are pretty rightly concerned about their teens and young adults who are at risk. Of course, FOCUS is here to help if you're dealing with this kind of an issue, and we have caring Christian counselors. They're available to talk with you, pray with you, and direct you to resources.

Call to schedule a time with one of those counselors. Our number is 800-232-6459-800, the letter A in the word family, or look for a link to the counseling team in the episode notes. The good news is there's hope, and Mac and Mary have documented their story in a book called Never Let Go, God's Story of Healing, Hurting Lives. And we want to pick up the story right there, and let me say, Mac and Mary, welcome back to FOCUS on the Family. Thank you. Thank you.

Let's go here. We mentioned last time that you almost died of an overdose. Tragically, you had mixed two drugs. Paint the picture of what happened, because this again, as we said last time, is one of those moments where God got your attention, obviously. The last was when you went to get drugs, and you had your two daughters in the car, and that just made an impact on you about the danger of it.

Describe what happened here where you felt like this could be the end. Well, most addicts have a fairly grandiose type of thinking, and if a little bit is good, then a lot must be better. And so at this point in my addiction, I had moved to doing something I said I would never do, and that was injecting drugs.

I was scared of needles. I said I'd never do that, but a friend introduced me to it, and I thought, wow, this is really good. And so it took me to that next level. And then another friend said, you know, if you do math and mix a little cocaine with it, it'll even be better. Well, I did that, and unfortunately, people in the addiction end of life don't realize that we're not dealing with Dow Pharmaceutical.

We're dealing with people who make this stuff in a bathtub somewhere. And so I got some drugs, some cocaine, some meth, mixed it together, and at the point I injected it, my heart, I could feel it just stopping. And I was on the bathroom floor, just laying on the floor, could not get up. After about 15 minutes, I crawled into the living room, crawled up on the couch and sat there or laid there for about the next two hours until Mary came home. And at that point, I realized that I wasn't going to die or didn't think I was, but in that period until Mary came home, that two hours, I thought the whole time I was going to die. But again, at that point, that's when God, in his clear, small voice said, what are you doing? What are you doing? And I heard that, but I still chose not to really listen to it.

I heard it, but I didn't listen to it, if that makes any kind of sense. Yeah, I get that. And I want to make sure people listening, this isn't about lifting up the life of a drug addict at all. I mean, this is a breaking process that you're going through. Let me ask the question that probably in your recovery program that you lead is often a question that an addict will ask, why am I doing this to myself?

Why? And to that, there is not a good reason or good answer to that question, other than the fact it starts out fairly innocently. Just a good time.

Good times with some good friends. And then before you know it, it ends up at a place where you can't stop. This is my own belief, but I don't believe this is a disease. I believe this was a choice that I made. But by this time in my choice of using drugs, my body was saying, you can't live without this. Because it had become a part of every one of the cells in my body. And so my body craved it.

And so I needed more and more. So again, it wasn't that, you know, that thing where I woke up one day and said, I'm going to be an addict. Nobody does that.

No, nobody does that. It almost happens unaware and overnight. You wake up and your body craves it so bad. Well, I think some people from us being in recovery for so long, all the stories that we've heard, a lot of times people will start smoking pot or drinking or whatever it is that they start doing is because they have this pain. There's some kind of pain in their life that they want to numb. And this numbs that pain where they don't have to think about it anymore. But then all of a sudden that little bit they did, that doesn't work anymore. So they have to take a little more to numb it again. And that's kind of how it starts.

Right. It is to escape that pain that they're feeling. Maybe something happened in childhood, et cetera. Mac, you then Mary's going to church. You have an encounter with your daughter. I think it was Callie. And she said something, I think she was only four years old.

If I remember the story correctly, describe what went on and how this was now the third event that I'm aware of reading the book. This was the third and breaking point in my life where I had been awake for a week and that's literally had not been asleep for seven days. It was a Saturday night. I came in early, probably five or six o'clock in the morning to go to bed Sunday morning while they went to church.

Right. And so I came and got in bed just hoping that they would leave me alone, not say anything to me. And just, I just really at that point knew I needed some sleep. Well, our youngest daughter Callie came in the bedroom as Mary was getting ready in the bathroom.

I'm laying in the bed. Callie comes in, stands beside the bed and looks at me but talks to her mom and said, how come daddy doesn't do anything with us anymore? How come daddy doesn't go to church with us anymore? And in that moment, I heard that. But Mary, who was at this point a classic codependent and didn't want to ruffle the waters in any way, said, you need to leave your daddy alone. He's been working hard. He needs some sleep. And she said, Callie said, well, if he's not going to church, I'm not going to go either.

And that's what I heard. In that moment, God told me I was not only killing myself, but I was killing everybody I claimed to love. And I would say everybody I loved, but if I really loved them, would I be doing the things that I was doing? So all this conflict's going through my mind right now. And I just said they just need to leave. So I just acted like I didn't hear anything and just waited for them to leave. When they left, God used that little girl that morning to break my heart. I went outside immediately, got all my drugs, paraphernalia, everything, went outside and burned everything because I knew if I didn't, I would use again.

So I said, I've just got to clear the house of everything. So I went and got everything out of there, came in and I started writing Mary a letter. And remember now I still haven't been asleep for a week, but I started writing her a letter and telling her everything that I'd done and what I'd been doing. And was there any way that she could ever forgive me and that we could have a normal life?

I just remember writing all that stuff down. And so I left for church with the girls and I was just, I was crushed because I thought I was keeping it a good secret from our kids and that they weren't knowing that me and their daddy weren't getting along really well. And so I went to church that morning and the last song of the day, well actually the sermon was on confession and how good it is for the soul. And I was thinking, oh man, I wish I could tell somebody what all's going on in my life. And the last song of the day is, it is well with my soul. And I thought, I couldn't even sing it. I said, it's not well with my soul.

It's not well with our kids and it's not well with Mac. And I just wanted to run out of the building and I cried the whole way home. The girls were singing church songs in the back of the car and just happy. And I get home and I see him sitting as recliner and he had this yellow notepad in front of him and he had been crying and I hadn't seen ever cry before since we'd been married. Cause real men don't cry. That's what he thought. Yeah. And so, um, he said, I need to tell you something. And so he started telling me what all you've been doing. And I was just, I was like, I'm just thankful to know what is going on with you.

I said, let's call our pastor and let's get some help now. And I, you know, I will say that that was the first time I could remember crying, really crying. And what I found in those tears that morning was relief. Like I've never known my life. It just flooded over me.

Yeah. Well, I mean, I think I understand the core of that transition, but if you can elaborate on it for me, I mean, was it the fear that you were going to lose your family, the fear that you were in many ways, crushing your family, that your daughter would never know God because of your behavior, all of that, or what am I missing? It was all of that.

And the fear that I would be lost forever. That finally came into the picture. Okay. So my daughter who God used to break my heart that morning was the catalyst for me saying, not only am I going to lose my family, I'm going to lose me.

Yeah. And so when Mary came home that morning and said, could we talk to the pastor? My first response was, well, I already told you I'm changing. What more do you want me to do? So you thought that was a sufficient good first step. I wrote a letter and I said, I'm changing. Yeah, let's go. And that leads into even to the rehab.

You entered a program, but you weren't convinced that you really needed it, which is also kind of addict behavior. I mean, some people aren't quite there yet. I'm functional.

I can do this. I'm making progress. Don't bug me. Praise God and the Holy Spirit that Mary was being directed by the Holy Spirit because she stepped out of her codependency and said, I don't care what you said. We need to talk to somebody. Oh, that's good. And so that's when the pastor came over that afternoon and met with us and said, you know, you don't have to tell the rest of the church this because, again, I would show up at church enough that everybody thought I was a faithful member too just because of my attendance. You were just busy. Yeah, I was busy. He's a busy guy, you know. He helped build the church building.

Yeah. And so anyway, the pastor came over and said, look, you don't have to share this with anybody else, but if you do, it might help somebody else that is struggling with addiction too. And so that night at our church, I went down for altar call, and I just told them, I said, look, I'm a drug addict, and I need help. And I really thought that they were going to tell me, we don't want your kind around here.

But that's not what they did. They said, well, you're our first drug addict. We don't know quite what to do with you, but we want you to keep coming back. Good honesty on everybody's part. Well, I heard that loud and clear too that I could keep coming back.

Right. Not that they didn't know what to do with me, but there was a little lady there that did know exactly what to do. And she came up to Mary and myself and said, Mac, I think you need to go to AA.

And I said, is that like a car club? She said, no, that's AAA. You need AA, Alcoholics Anonymous. And so along with that, she also told Mary about a rehab that we could go to, and I could talk to a guy. And I told Mary, I said, I really don't need a rehab.

I'm going to do better. But if you want me to go and talk to the guy, we'll go and talk to the guy, but you'll see he won't want me to stay. But I got there and talked to the guy. And of course, he did want me to stay. And I said, well, I got to go home and get my stuff. Well, I knew he was going to say that. So I packed him a bag and put it in the trunk ahead of time. He said, and I said, that's okay, your stuff's in the trunk. And he looked at me like, what? And so he stayed.

Yeah, no, I mean, that's great. And all that takes courage. Mac, you mentioned in the book, the friends that you had that didn't for whatever reason, and I would like to tackle this. They didn't heed any warnings. They didn't get off the highway of the drug culture. And what happened to most of them, if not all of them? Most of them are not alive today, which is pretty tragic, you know, because these were people that I grew up with.

Yeah. But in this, this moment of clarity that I had, when our youngest daughter came in and Callie and talked to me, I knew at that point that I had to separate myself from these friends. And, you know, that's easier said than done when this is the people you grew up with. And so I stopped associating with any of my old friends. But from a distance, I watched them continue to go down this road of drug addiction. And, and sadly enough, many of them died because of it. You know, it was ironic, though, that they didn't think less of me for getting off drugs.

As a matter of fact, in years to come later on down the road, when any of them had any problems, death in the family, whatever it was, they would always call me and say, let's call Matt, because he'll know what you became kind of like their pastor. Right. Right. To that group of people.

That's right. Well, that's really interesting. And, you know, I'm reminded of the beginning of your story when we first started talking last time about doing this for fun and go into the keg party. Mary described that and these people were not judgmental.

Everybody just seemed to be having fun. But for those listening, especially those of us with teenagers, the, the need to open up that dialogue and talk about that journey and where it most likely will end with death and destruction. So critical to have that kind of conversation.

Maybe this is a catalyst for that conversation. It takes courage. But one of the reasons we wanted to have Mack and Mary on was because of the power of their testimony. This is the work of God in their lives and we shouldn't bury it or hide from it.

We should celebrate the fact that they chose life, not death. And that's why we're airing the program. And I know people can be critical that we don't want to elevate drugs and we don't want to, you know, make that sensational. It's not about that.

It's about teaching your teenagers, particularly what it means to choose unwisely. And I'm glad you used the word critical. I used the word vital. Yes. Conversation with our kids is vital. It's life and death. Yes. Because that's what's at stake.

Not only their physical death, their spiritual death too. And if we don't have a place in our homes where we can talk about anything. Yeah.

Oh yeah. That is so important to have a safe place and the home needs to be that. Mack and Mary Owen are with us today on Focus on the Family, sharing their dramatic story about drug addiction and how God intervened to rescue Mack from almost certain death. Well, thanks for downloading this podcast from Focus on the Family.

Please leave a review on iTunes or wherever you're getting the content and make sure you tell a friend about this as well. Let me continue the recovery time. You unpacked your bag from the trunk, which was terrific. Thank you, Mary, for thinking ahead.

That's incredible. But you did go through withdrawals. You started to feel the pain of that.

Meth is a terrible thing to withdraw from. And describe what that was like. What was the onset like? How did it unfold for you?

Well, at first, I'll say this. I was sleeping 16 hours a week on an average week. When I got into treatment, I was sleeping 16 hours a day. Wow.

Yeah. Because my body was just, it was just tired. And so my biggest withdrawal was just finding a place where I could sleep. And then the hospital I was in, it was a medical detox. So they gave me lithium because they said at this point, they were afraid if I just stopped cold turkey that I could have some heart issues, cardiac arrest, stuff like that. So they gave me lithium for about three or four days.

And I just slept. They wouldn't let me see him for a week because they said, yeah, because they said he is in critical condition that he might not survive this because they could not believe how much he had in his body that it could kill him. And so they said, he's just got to rest and we've got to give him some medicine.

And so we'll let you know when you come see him. But now I will say this too. We're not going to rule out how God and the Holy Spirit helped me through that withdrawal with a church family. This church family that said, we don't know quite what to do with you. The next Sunday when I'm in rehab, they stopped the service and wrote cards. The pastor at the time said, we're just going to write a card to everybody.

I want you to write a card to Mac. So on Monday morning I got 700 cards saying, we love you. Here's our favorite verse. God's pulling for you. You're going to make it through it.

And so I had such a love and support from this church family. I believe there was God and his Holy Spirit working through that to help ease my addiction pains because this was a 30-day program, which I've come to find out that most 30-day programs are a great way to take your money. They're not a great way to get you off an addiction. Darrell Bock That's my follow-up question there because so many programs, the person doesn't achieve their goal or achieve a goal of getting off of the drugs. Macklemore That's why support is so vital.

It's got to be. If you don't have support, and that's why I only went 19 days. After 19 days in the program, I didn't ask to leave.

They said, we think you're ready to leave. Darrell Bock Well, Mac and Mary, as we close today, I think we need those practical handholds for parents and for individuals who maybe are into drug addiction, and they're not even sure how to get out and what they can do. Give us some of those practical insights from your recovery program and what you've seen with the people that you've counseled.

What are some of those things that we need to be aware of for our own addictions as well as maybe our children or those around us? Macklemore Well, one thing that we've learned, I think, through 30 years in recovery is that everyone has some kind of hurt or hang-up or habit. We've all been hurt, or we've hurt somebody else, or we've hurt ourselves.

So everyone has had some kind of pain at some point in their life. So that's why we love about the recovery program that we work with, Celebrate Recovery, is it deals with that through the 12 steps, Christ-centered 12 steps. And the 8 Beatitudes, we talk about each one of those. We have them as recovery principles. And so it's actually a family recovery ministry where we have it for the children, age-appropriate, for teens, and then for adults. And this is our new addiction now, is seeing changed lives, because we see it every day.

And it's just so exciting to see where someone has come before. And it might not even be a drug addiction or alcohol. It could be... Anger, codependency. Yeah, gambling, whatever, or just abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse.

Something that takes you away from God, really, and takes you away from a healthy relationship with the Lord in that regard. And again, it's just one of those expressions of the human failing in the fallen world, the sin nature that we possess. And our nature is when we have people in our lives, a child, an uncle, or whatever that has these problems, we'll send them somewhere, they'll get help, and then they'll be okay for us to be around. My suggestion is, find a Celebrate Recovery and go with them.

Because if they've got this hurt in their life and you don't wanna be around them, then they've also put hurt in your lives that you need to deal with too. And so Celebrate Recovery is in over 35,000 churches in the United States. And then 23 different languages has been translated in because, like Mary said, everybody's got some hurt having their hang out. You know, Mary, and this is good to mention, you're watching Mac go through his issues over years, since you were a teenager. And you participated, pulled away, participated, pulled away, begin to pray, work on your own life with the Lord. Yet you still needed some help too.

I did. It's been mentioned several times, that codependency. And I didn't even know what codependency was at the time.

I thought being a Christian meant saving others from themselves. And so whenever he turned his life around, I was like, I was so excited. I thought, so anybody, when we started Recovery Ministry, before we knew about Celebrate Recovery, we started another one.

And I wanted every person to have what we had. So I started, I had major control issues, and I didn't even know it. Because I thought, if I can just fix them or tell them what they need to do, then maybe they'll get their lives straight. And then when I finally realized, you know, I can't be anybody's Holy Spirit. All I can do is work on myself, and say what worked for me, and go with that, you know, instead of trying to fix others. You actually thought, when I turned my life around, that that was the point where everything was going to be okay. And the white picket fence would then come into play.

We'd have a couple dogs and all that stuff. Yes, I did, actually. And I just got myself well. In fact, when I went to see Mack in rehab, when I was driving across the lake, going to see him for that first time, I heard a voice say, you're going to tell your story. And I about had a heart attack, because I thought, I'm not telling a story to anybody.

He's just going to get well, and we're going to move on with our life. And then I heard it again, you're going to tell your story to many, many people. I was just, I couldn't believe it.

You know, I just, I don't know where this is coming from, but that's not happening. But you started going to meetings with me, though, too. And that was really instrumental in my recovery. Yeah.

Yeah. First, you just went and I thought, he'll get fixed and we'll be good. But then he said, why don't you come with me? And so I did. And once I started going with him, I started realizing, man, I've got some issues myself.

You know, I've got to stand up for myself and say what I believe instead of just. Well, we found other people that were inclusive, too, not just the party people. We found people in recovery were extremely inclusive group of people, too.

And they were having fun and they remembered what they did the next day. And that's a good thing. This has been so good. And I know it's going to help so many people to kind of capture them where they're at and make them think kind of like your daughter. You know, if daddy doesn't have to go to church, I don't want to go to church. You don't want that as a legacy.

And you certainly don't want to see your teenagers go down that path either. So this has been terrific. This is a reminder of what a person's testimony, what a couple's testimony can do to help change lives. Thank you so much, Mac and Mary, for being with us.

Thank you. Well, we so appreciate your vulnerability as you've shared with us these past couple of days. And as a listener, I hope you've been encouraged by the conversation with Mac and Mary. And let me remind you that we have their book available.

It's called Never Let Go God's Story of Healing Hurting Lives. In fact, John, I'd like to provide a copy of that book to anyone who is able to send a financial gift to focus on the family today to help us do ministry. We need friends like you who will support our efforts to rescue and strengthen families who are in trouble. And thanks to the generosity of our friends, we've seen marriages saved and parents empowered to raise godly children and so much more. But we need your ongoing support. So please be generous when you get to focus on the family today. And you can donate and get a copy of Mac and Mary's book when you click the links in the episode notes or call 800-A-FAMILY. And if our conversation today has raised concerns about your own family, we do recommend you contact us to set up a time for a phone conversation with one of our caring Christian counselors. They'll be happy to hear your story and pray with you and point you to resources in your local area. Call our number to get that started.

Again, it's 800-A-FAMILY. Coming up, a simple way to regain control of your busy schedule. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is say no so you can say yes to the right things and unleash that peace and that joy that comes from a balanced, healthy life. On behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team, thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family. I'm John Fuller inviting you back as we once more help you and your family thrive in Christ. When I knew my marriage was falling apart, I just didn't know how to fix it. I felt like I would always be alone, even if I stayed married. At Focus on the Family's Hope Restored marriage intensive, we offer hope to couples in crisis so they can have the marriage they've always dreamed of. For the first time, I felt like my husband truly heard me. I've received some great tools from the counselors that have changed my life and my marriage. To begin the journey of finding health, go to HopeRestored.com today.