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Knowing Our Weaknesses, Finding God's Strength

Focus on the Family / Jim Daly
The Truth Network Radio
July 23, 2020 2:00 am

Knowing Our Weaknesses, Finding God's Strength

Focus on the Family / Jim Daly

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July 23, 2020 2:00 am

Trisha Davis explains how her tendency to be a rule-follower, and her husband's tendency to be a rule-breaker, set them up for disaster when their marriage was tested. Hear how they found healing in Christ.

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I was convinced that nothing can change what was going on in our marriage and I want to try anymore but my commitment to God, help me try one more time. We went to a hope restored marriage intensive and it was life changing.

The counselors created the safest environment we could imagine so that let us really talk one a much different course now I believe we received a miracle that week receive your free consultation.

Hope role followers were driven by comparison and we are driven by comparison the life of legalism rather than a life of faith and what happened that legalism becomes our moral guide, rather than faith in Jesus business unfamiliar would you call yourself a rule follower or rubric will explore the concept and how it can impact your faith with Christian Davis today on Focus on the Family your hostess focus Pres. Jim Daly and John Fuller. This is actually a fun message John the truth, sure, but it has a serious point that I know you appreciate to and for the second time I'm in a quickly recap how she opened this presentation and then Latricia share some very vivid stories. Trish explained that in the New Testament book of acts of the apostle Paul had a vision of Jesus Christ on the road to Damascus. A vision that converted him from a persecutor of Christ followers to an evangelist to the Gentile world. He'd been an extremely devout Jew and now he would be taking the gospel to the very group that the Jews despised so Jesus himself change Paul from being one of the top rule followers in the Jewish world to the top rule breaker for the benefit of the Gentiles. And that's why the Jews persecuted Paul so ruthlessly everywhere he went. As we see in the book of Galatians. After 14 years of evangelism. God told Paul to go back to Jerusalem and meet the other leaders of the faith. The meeting went well and the leadership endorsed the message Paul had been preaching the one sour note came from the group called the Judaizers they believed in Jesus, but also believed in following all of the Old Testament laws, including circumcision and they had a hard time endorsing Paul's message of freedom from those laws through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ which leads us to Trisha's main point.

You're either a rule follower or rule breaker and with that backdrop, your now is Tricia Davis speaking at a women's conference at traders point Christian church in Indianapolis on Focus on the Family and pickup as she turns toward her personal story. I am the role follower. My head is the rule breaker in a couple years ago I wanted a runner. I got lady on the side of the road that your driving your borderline like iconic should I not runner that I got half marathon. I had my first we went shopping together. We got to see the water see and how to train each time you do the short runs during the week. You do what you're called your long. I get all my gear on him already to go. I got a hot pot, and maybe it's time to go. You know it's been a long week. Why don't we just go on without me. I'll catch up with you for 17 weeks later he never gets to the starting line train for a piece that your muscles in your body uses to keep outpacing me and ladies competitive rule follower. I follow the rule of child outpacing me the argument with somebody and we want a couple of times we still having guidance argument going on mile for my you mile for the one we continue to run in with every mile. I'm just getting more and more and more bitter until God because God loves me so much. Mile 10 mile 10 happens in you name one hand for this camera guys because at my writing link. The fire and then I'll whole body went Hulk Hogan on him like he's in a rolling holding. You need to work my legs. I grabbed Longley like so much pain he do before the end of the have you when you have ran their hands with people like all I am not walking takes off there like my life right now right God will not shoot video, you pass over the line and I had been.

He was running like chariots of fire.he was out of the campus land that we got the email and my boys and I watched over and over because he's writing he gets his metal rule follower. I was focused on how Justin had broken the rules and the joy that I had actually completed the race much like the Christian rule followers. We live in the bondage of comparison, we scroll through Instagram and through Facebook and we like the pictures that we approve of the people that we think they deserve whatever fantastic things going on in their life while we secretly screen others and we look at that one women were just like we get our car rolling. I know she ready that we want to put on her picture that emoji I don't know it's wrong to think of it that rolling. I know she just makes me happy my notes.

I just want you to know rule follower. It looks a little bit like this, we compare ourselves to the woman to complete all the time about her kids. The woman who complained that she can sleep through the night because of her infant women you complains about her elementary school side and how they have so much homework they don't even know what to do with the woman that complains about her teenage daughter and how she never put gas in the car and you would you anything to be appearing you would you anything to hear those words mom and you compare your life with her life and you think that you deserve what she has gotten maybe for you with a coworker and you have grind. You've worked hard and you have been obedient following the rules of climbing the ladder. She just knew the right person you get looked over for the promotion if she gets it in the rule following you saw on the comparison leads to this life of legalism the friends who received the invitation that you know not the hard work of love into a relationship that has been he finishes the race that he didn't train for rule followers were driven by comparison and we are driven by comparison. We believe a life of legalism rather than a life of faith and what happens is that legalism becomes our moral guide and faith in Jesus all the rule breakers in the house. You guys paid off. To be a rule breaker asked for permission, forgiveness, rain, legalism's birth.

By comparison, for many of you who are rural breakers rule breakers are driven by jealousy you don't care how that woman got that promotion you don't care she got married she has seven kids. You don't care what she put on social media. Just as long as you get yours to that is a rule breaker jealousy starts to road your heart and you're willing to do anything it takes. It's where follow.

Why right now how displays your life is what you think of all the time you feel like mankind have never been so connected gets so lonely and the fear of missing out.

Has jealousy to bald you start to live a life of hypocrisy meeting you would call yourself a Christian, but when it really comes down to it you're willing to break the rules to get what you think you deserve it looks like this you're willing to gossip about that person that you feel threatened by because when you gossip about them and you put them down.

It makes you feel better out you surround yourself with fans rather than friends as fans will always say even in your dysfunction that your amazing fans would never push back to the dark parts of your hearts where they see you living one way at church and senior living. Another outside of the church. Jealousy starts to take roots. What happens is that rule breakers led by jealousy will live a life hypocrisy overstate jealousy that is driven by a lie you enough that you are not enough to do what ever it takes to make sure everybody in the room knows that you are not, even if it means breaking the rules. So how do you know how do you know you struggle with comparison.

You know you struggle with legalism you know jealousy just makes you a person who just asked yourself these questions. Who is the one person that consumes your heart and mind.

One person that consumes your heart and mind to friends.

It's a coworker spouse you're always comparing, always feeling like you need something that they had you didn't get.

Who are you constantly comparing or trying to win out over whose dream are you obsessing over the Christian I could be a good Christ follower allow the stream to come to fruition. I go to one more Bible study were one more person tells me they're pregnant and I am fertile now for five years. I'm done.

God, you find yourself there dream you're accessing over whose life do you find yourself striving for your listening to Tricia Davis on Focus on the Family about the great question whose life are you striving for you to see B of this program to loosen to undershirt the friend when you call it hundred K and the word for 800-232-6459 or donate and requested when you follow the link in the episode's let's return now to Tricia's just a moment or two shall be referring back to the section of Scripture that we summarized as we open today's broadcast Galatians chapter 2 when you place your faith in Jesus over your life over your dreams over your desire that gives you the top to cheer on others.

Knowing your loss.

Let me say that again gives you the club to cheer others on knowing your loss. Paul said in verse seven he's just been told that they have nothing to his message that he's been sharing now for over a decade. Instead they saw that God had given me the responsibility of preaching the gospel to the Gentiles just given Peter the responsibility of preaching to the Jews for the same God works through Peter as the apostle to the Jews also work through me the apostle to the Gentiles. Do you see what's going on Peter 2 whom he was called and he knew who had called him Paul knew God given him a message to the Gentiles have no favorite God loves you plan for you that your parts and you only what you can do. Do you believe that you surround yourself with people who will cheer you on who will cheer you on, knowing that when you it's not there loss is the deal doesn't matter how strong your relationship is a matter how strong the marriage you have. It doesn't matter how often your faith community is this whole faith journey. It's hard. It's so hard when life is hard and uncertain you don't live in this tension of wanting to compare the land in this tension to feel jealousy when life doesn't unfold the way you think it should start to go back were jealousy and comparison become your God over faith in Jesus is not a matter of if it's a matter of when liquid happens in first call versus 12 to 13. It is when he talking about here. They've moved on to another city. Now is when he first arrived with Gentile believers who were not circumcised super important right. He's hanging out with people that aren't obeying the Jewish law is perfectly fine afterwords when some friends of James Cain, Peter, when you eat with the Gentiles anymore is so powerful he was afraid of criticism from these people who insisted on assessing a circumcision rule following. As a result, other Jewish believers followed Peter's hypocrisy and even Barnabas was led astray by the hypocrisy.

Peter broke the rules. How does this happen in our churches. Ladies were God has called us to a certain calling and we realize that Grossi seemed godly enough. I don't want people know them hang out with her ready God has called you to a community of faith in you like to godly. We get to this place where we start to look for the approval of man rather than the approval of God that the core of who we are by this battle and not being in our greatest desire is to be fully known and to be fully lots our greatest fear is that we will be fully known, that we would be fully lots struggle is real and much like Peter would choose the path of people pleasing. There's a book called office child by Brennan Manning absolutely changed my life in Brennan calls his people pleasing the pastor and the imposters. The person that we become. We put our faith in people and outcomes become the person that people want us to be, rather than the person that God calls us to be in this is me 10 years into ministry 10 years into marriage and I went that in youth ministry all over the Midwest. We are in the midst of planning our first hurting out. I like every place we went. Growth happens, people came to Christ because social media.

We were the chief enjoyed the trip planning screw the 2000 and q. week we planted our first church. I know that many of you in this room not only know my story, but walked with me that many of you, you haven't heard that my will, following heart, my rule breaking has been searching the road and we are marriage relationship in our relationship with God on October 9, 2005 my husband came home. Our church plant was thriving.

We were three years old.

We started with 12 and we were nearing topping out at like 800 we had it all. We had three beautiful kids who love the church who love the Lord so he came home after speaking on a Sunday and I was taking a nap in your church planter that holy and he woke me up and said I need to tell you something okay sometime you done with what I'm done with you. I'm done with ministry. I think I may be done with God, I'm so sick and tired of the rules I'm so done and having an affair with your best friend and I went out better without you.

In that moment that collision unsafe with my rule following heart that he was breaking the rules, brought me to a place probably to a place where life is colliding in a way that I just lose my marriage over that confession. I didn't just lose my best friend I lose my church family I lost the only identity I've ever known.

As an adult I was Tricia Davis, the pastor's wife and with one confession I was stripped of everything.

And here's the deal. If there get all the attention. If there is a bond that I dropped but the affair was a symptom much greater issues in our marriage and I had to choose, choose a different narrative. Here's the deal, be honest with you tonight. God was getting a good deal with me chest and was getting a good deal with me because I was all followed the rule. I became the balanced person who balanced ministry and balance marriage and balance family. I worked hard for that. I worked really hard to hide my depression to be the cheery pastor's wife and everybody needed me to be as you'll read what you sell what I got that moment forever marked me and although I had hit rock bottom bottom is still solid surface to begin to stand and I had to choose how to choose if I was going to trade in my need to be right to trade in my needs control to trade in something different from faith in Jesus. Faith gives you an identity that goes beyond her performance this faith in Jesus gives you a new identity goes beyond what you can do for God leads to a life of freedom like it's really wall itself. Five happy hots to a freedom film life. It's hard work.

But when we choose to trade things that hinder us from placing our faith in Jesus. Freedom is found. This is what it says in verse 19 for when I tried to keep the law condemns me.

So I died to the law I stopped trying to meet all of its requirements so that I might live in God my old self has been crucified with Christ is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives within me in this earthly body by trusting in the son of God who loves me, who gave himself for me.

If I could reread that I would say so I went in his early by trusting in the son of God who loved you who gave himself for you.

We choose to trade in the things that hinder us from placing our faith in Jesus. Freedom is found faith that gives a new identity as faith gives freedom just and I we did find freedom because we chose to restore our marriage.

We found freedom because we place our faith in Jesus and it begins with trade. When we choose to trade in the imposter of the person we think we should be the person we think we ought to be to the person who can cause you to be as you are loves you are chosen and you are redeemed will you choose it in for my story.

Just had to trade in the live for truth truth that would set him free truth that he is so long behind the lives of being sexually abused as a kid I 10 year pornography addiction, and he believed the lie he told me everything he was only know that this is why I would not only loved him when he confessed everything. It was the first time even rock-bottom. There was truth to be hiding the truth was setting him free loving years removed from that moment we are walking in freedom at our church plant is in about coming full circle about the overflow of who we are in Christ gives you choose to trade in my bitterness for forgiveness's forgiveness was hard. Forgiveness felt like getting away with his felt like a jail free and I realize that when I treated in my bitterness I found that forgiveness resurrected bitterness tried to destroy forgiveness, replace my fear and replaced my husband's Shane and gave way to a life in Mary's freedom is where would this presentation from Tricia Davis on today's episode of focus on the field. I just love Tricia spirit. She's a real breath of fresh air and I think the key take away from her message is the word authentic. We need to follow the Lord and his calling on our life in the most of them took way possible. We can't rely on following human rules to achieve enough points to get us into heaven. That's the Old Testament thinking that Jesus came to fulfill as our sacrificial lamb. But when we keep our eyes on the Lord and do what he calls us to do the rest will naturally fall into place as Tricia said when we put our faith in people and outcomes will become the person that other people want us to be, rather than the person God calls us to be and what a devastating illustration of the principle that Tricia experienced in her relationship with Justin.

They were working so hard to advance the gospel, but almost completely lost their marriage and let me remind our listeners. If you feel like your marriage is at a crossroads.

Please let us help. Our hope restored marriage intensive's provide a four day experience with lasting results.

Two years after their visit. 4/5 couples say they are still married and doing well.

That's a great success rate. So, to those of you who donate to Focus on the Family let me say thank you for making hope restored possible we are making a difference, and most importantly the Lord is making a difference through our efforts and if you can make a donation of any amount today I would like to send you the book the Tricia and her husband Justin have written called beyond ordinary when a good marriage just isn't good enough. That'll be our thank you gift for supporting the ministry and as we've been saying all summer long for this pandemic had a big impact on all of us in a variety of ways, from the perspective you're the ministry donations are down but the need for family help is so much greater than ever. So if you're able, please make a generous donation to Focus on the Family today and will say thanks in advance would really appreciate your prayers as well. Of course, donate and request a copy of beyond ordinary by calling 800 K in the Ward family 800-232-6459 or follow the link and donate to the work Focus on the Family and by the way stop by our website search the archives and you'll find the full interview with Justin and Trish have Jim Daly and the entire team. Thanks for listening to this Focus on the Family podcast radios and share this episode with a friend on John Fuller inviting you back next time. This will once again help you and Your Family Dr. in Christ

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