I just am really thankful for Focus on the Family because it's meant so much to me. That's just one of the millions of people who've been blessed by Focus on the Family as we celebrate 50 years of ministry next year. And as part of the celebration, we want to hear your story. Call today and share your touching or humorous story about how God has used Focus on the Family in your life. The link is in the show notes.
You know why you exist? Because God determined before the foundations of the world that you would exist. That's why. Today we have a fascinating look at how to find meaning in life featuring the late Steve Farrar. Welcome to Focus on the Family with Jim Daly.
I'm John Fuller. You know, John, Steve Farrar had so much wisdom to share in his almost 50 years of ministry and as I've said before, I am so grateful that much of that wisdom was recorded in some form or fashion. Today Steve will explain how each one of us can embrace God's purpose for our lives and live it out. And he'll close his message with some great advice specifically for teens and young adults. Let's get to it.
Okay, well here's Steve Farrar speaking at Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly.
Well, as we begin, I'd like to ask you a question. And it's a very simple question, but it's a profound question in some senses. The question is, why are you here? When I ask the question, why are you here? What I'm really asking you is, why do you exist?
Why are you alive? Why are you walking the earth now? and not 300 years ago or 300 years in the future. Why are you alive? Why do you exist?
Is that just the result of the Darwinian hypothesis of time and chance coming together and here you are? Yeah. You're here for a reason. You're here for a purpose. Why am I here?
Why do I exist? Is a question we ask throughout life. And in Psalm 139, David is going to answer the question. Why am I here? The first 12 verses are about God.
If you want to know why you're alive and why you exist, You don't start with yourself. You start with God. If you don't start with God, you'll never figure out why you're on the earth. You'll never figure out your purpose. You'll never figure out your meaning.
So, what does he say about God? Verse 1 he says, O Lord, you have searched me and known me. You got me wired. You know everything about me. You know when I sit down You know, when I rise up, you understand my thought from afar.
He says, you scrutinize my path and my lying down. You're intimately acquainted with all my ways.
So all your little quirks, all your little idiosyncrasies.
So he knows all about them. And he's still for you and he still loves you. He's still on your team. He's not against you. This is amazing.
Verse 4. Even before there is a word of my tongue, behold, Lord, you know it all. Every word you'll ever utter For the rest of your life until the moment of you die, God already knows what you're going to say and the intonation with which you will say it. He knows it now. He knows all things.
He goes on and he says, verse 5, you've enclosed me behind. And before. He says, you've laid your hand on me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me. It is too high.
I cannot attain to it. Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go to heaven, you're there. If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, you are there.
If I take the wings of the dawn. What's the speed of light? 186,000 miles per second? That's moving. And then in 13, He answers the question.
Why do I exist? See now you can deal with the question because you started with God. Verse 13. You form my inward parts. You wove me in my mother's womb.
I'll give thanks to you, for I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works. My soul knows it very well. He's not on an ego trip. He's just saying, God, you put me together.
You formed my inward parts. You wove me. You put me together. Let me ask you something. Why are you tall?
Why are you short? Why are you white or black or Hispanic or Asian? That's all up to God. That's all his doing. Why are you good with people?
Some of you have an unbelievable gift with people. You love people and they love you. Where'd you get that gift? When he formed you and fashioned you in your mother's womb, he gave you that gift. He gave you gifts and he gave you skills.
Why? Because he has a work. for you to do. There's a purpose. There's a reason you're alive.
Note the next verse here. He says, He's still back when he was in the womb. Asking the question, why am I alive? Why do I exist? It's the central question of life.
My frame or my bones were not hidden from you when I was made in secret and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth. Let me ask you a question. If your father had not have married your mother Would you be here? This is not a trick question. Yeah.
Let's say your father. That cheerleader. From that other high school, he had a crush on. You don't know anything about this.
Well, let's say your father, when he was in high school, he had a crush on that cheerleader from another school. Let's say he married her. Would you be here? No. You wouldn't be here.
But see he didn't marry her He married your mother. You say, what do you mean I wouldn't be here?
Well, for you to get here, it took a particular sperm and it took a particular egg. And that cheerleader didn't have the egg. Your mother had the egg. But he didn't marry the cheerleader, he made your mother. Here you are.
We're glad you're here. Have you ever thought about What it took. to get you here. Great guess uh Do you realize that for thousands of years? God has been overseeing your family history.
for thousands of years from day one. He's watched it. He's overseen everything. And if just once in that cycle, if just once in that multi-generational process, one sperm had to miss the right egg just one time, you would not be here, but you're here. By the predetermined plan.
of Almighty God. That's why you're here. That's why you're alive. That's why you exist. That's why you're not a mistake.
That's why it's not chance. It's from Almighty God. There's a reason. You're alive. You know why you exist?
Because God determined before the foundations of the world that you would exist. That's why. And if you don't believe that, note the next section of the verse. Your eyes have seen my unformed substance. This is amazing.
And in your book, they were all written. The days that were ordained for me. when as yet there was not one of them. Staggering statement. What this is saying is The reason you exist is that God willed that you would exist.
And before the foundations of the world, and here's why you're here today: before the foundations of the world, He determined the moment of your conception. He determined the moment of your birth. He's already determined the moment of your death. Did you know that? Hebrews says, it is appointed for a man once to die.
The moment of your death has already been set.
Now how else can I encourage you? But that's kind of encouraging. You know why it's encouraging? You can't die. Until the work that God has for you to do.
You can't die. until it's done. He who began A good work in you. Will Bring it. to completion in Christ Jesus.
You can't die. You cannot die until you've done the work that God has called you to do. They may rough you up. They may knock you around. They may talk about you behind your back, but you can't die.
They can't kill you. until your appointed time has come.
So you can be bold and you can stand for Christ. Yeah. It's amazing stuff.
Now in Ephesians 2, the familiar words of 2.8. How is it? that we exist spiritually.
Well, you've got to be born again, Jesus said.
Well, how does that happen?
Well, Ephesians 2:8 simply says this: for by grace. And this is so familiar to us. For by grace you've been saved through faith. And that not of yourselves. It's the gift of God, not as a result of works, that any man should boast.
You can't do enough to earn salvation. For by grace you've been saved through faith, that not of yourselves, gift to God, not as a result of works. We say, that not of yourselves.
Well, what does that mean? That not of yourselves. You can't write enough checks to the Red Cross. You can't do enough good works. to be saved.
You can't save yourself. Jesus saves us by dying on the cross. His sacrifice paid for our sins. That's why we celebrated communion. We remember what Jesus did.
So, we don't save ourselves. He saved us. I can't do that.
So, grace isn't of myself, salvation isn't of myself, for by grace you've been saved through. Faith. Is faith something we do or is faith a gift of God? It's a gift of God. You say, well, Steve, we got to exercise faith.
That's exactly right. And that's how we come to know Christ. In faith, we ask Christ to come into our lives. But let me ask you something. Yeah, cool.
Where did you get the faith? To ask him to come into your life. He gave it to you. See, none of it is of yourself. It's all of him.
Ephesians 2.1 is an interesting passage. A lot of people, a lot of Christians who believe the Bible have really don't believe Ephesians 2.1.
So what do you mean?
Well, it says, and you were dead in your trespasses and sins. You most Christians think that anybody can come to Christ at any time they want to. Many of you think that. That's not what it says. It says, and you were dead.
in your trespasses and sinned. Imagine on a maybe Sunday afternoon you're taking a ride out in the country. Kind of nice to get away. Tulane Road is just kind of calm and quiet and You're driving out there, and you'll see an old church, and a lot of times, those old churches had cemeteries next to them. And you're driving by this little country church, and there's a little curve, and you're making the curve, and as you're looking there, you see the old cemetery, and suddenly you see a hand come right out of the ground.
And you say to your husband, hey, slow down here. And then you pull off to the side, and then you see another hand. Break through the sod, and then and then you see a head come burrowing up. And then there's some activity in this an elbow. Mm.
Another rebel, and this guy. This guy in this dark suit is kind of afraid because he's been down there a while. This guy pulls himself up out of the grave. He's got dirt clods all over him. He's kind of cleaning himself off.
And he looks over and he sees you parked there. He goes, hey, can I get a ride into town?
Now that is absolutely ludicrous. Why is that ludicrous? I'll tell you why it's ludicrous. Dead men Can't will. to become a wife.
You know, I've been dead 17 years. I'm getting sick and tired of it. I think I'll go into town and get a cappuccino. You don't do that. Dead men can Hands.
change their condition. This says, and you were dead. In your trespasses and sins. Do you know why you know Christ? Do you know why you ask Christ to come into your life?
Because he made you Alive. He did for you. What he did for Lazarus. He resurrected you.
So, So let's get this straight. Why are we here? Why are we here? Well, why do I exist?
Well, God gave you physical existence, He made you, He created you. Gave you gifts, gave you abilities. And by the way, let me say something to you.
Okay. Those gifts and abilities that God gave you in your mother's womb. He designed those in your life. He gave those to you because that's going to help you accomplish the work that he has for you to do. You need to pay attention to those gifts.
You need to pay attention to those interests.
Some of the angriest men I meet are men that are not working in an area of God-given strength. They're working in an area of weakness. They don't have an aptitude in that area. They don't have a strength in that area.
So they hate to go to work. And when they're at work, they watch the clock and they're bored and they can't wait to get home. And then they get home, they're miserable because they got to get up in the morning and go back. There's no motivation. They're not good at it.
What do you love to do? What are you interested in? You love to work with little kids? Then work with little kids. Yeah.
You want to be an architect? Be an architect. Are you good with languages and you're good in other cultures? Great, God will use you over there. But he's hardwired us, and you pay attention to that.
You don't ignore that. And when you're in an area and you're working in an area of God-given strength that He put in you when you were in your mother's womb and you're an adult. You can't believe you get to go to work. You can't believe they're paying you. You just can't believe it.
Because you're loving it and you're good at it because that's what he intended you to do from the very beginning. You say, well, I might have to go back to school. Then go back to school. I might have to go to school at night. Go to school at night.
Let's wrap this up. He formed you, He created you, He gave you gifts, He gave you abilities in your mother's womb, and then at some point He brought you to Christ.
So He gave you physical existence, then He saved you and gave you spiritual life. And you're saved, and that's it. Yeah. Because see there's verse 10. And we got to pick up 8, 9, and 10 to get the context.
For by grace you've been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves. It is the gift of God. Not as a result of works that any man should boast, for. You see that connector? For we are his.
Workmanship. Created, now catch this, created in Christ Jesus for good works. Not good works to be saved. You're already saved. Created in Christ Jesus for good works, this is amazing, which God prepared beforehand.
Before you were ever born. See, that's the work that he has for you to do, that you might walk in them. You see, God really does have a purpose and a plan for your life. You're not a mistake. You're not an accident.
You're not here by chance. It's not coincidence. The sovereign hand of God is over your life, and He's leading you. And He said, Well, Steve, not everything's going my way because that's part of the process of maturing you're in Christ.
Well, I'm having hardship. I'm having difficulty. You know, well, okay, that's okay. That's normal in the Christian life. It has been granted to you.
Philippians 1.29 says, It has been granted to you not only to believe in Christ, but to suffer for his sake.
Well, I don't want to suffer.
Well, guess what? You're going to suffer.
Well, I don't want to take that class. Oh, you've already been signed up for that class. And it's too late to drop it. Acts 14, 22, through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God. Not some, not a few, many.
That's why you've got many. Mm. Well, I don't like this.
Well, join the club. But see he's going to use you And if he's going to use you, You're going to have some pain in your life. Because if you've never had pain, then you've never suffered. And if you've never suffered, you've got nothing to say to anybody. And you can't help them.
So that's why you're going through some hard things, but he'll get you through it, he'll take you through it. You see? Hey, there's a sign in every weight room in America: no pain. And that's true in the Christian life.
Now think about that. He's got to work. For you. He's given you physical life. He brought you to Christ.
He gave you spiritual life. Why? Well, you're His workmanship. You don't need to be like her. And you don't need to be like him.
You see? Different gifts, different abilities. There are no little people. There are no little places, Francis used to say. But he's got a work for you to do.
Now some of us over 40. Wish we had paid attention. 20 years ago to some good advice we got some from older folks. But we didn't, we had to learn the hard way. A couple years ago, I did a little book called How to Ruin Your Life by 30.
And I was speaking for a week in chapel service. And the kids all had to be there and they didn't want to be there at the first one. And half of them are bored and they're not paying attention.
So I got up and I said, the first chapel service, I said, some of you are 18, some of you are 22. The average age in your is 20. The first 20 years of your life, your parents have made the significant decisions for you.
Now, the next 20 years, you're making the significant decisions. All of them.
So, what I want to talk to you about this week is how you can ruin your life and be utterly miserable by the time you're 30. I want to talk to you about how you can get venereal disease. I want to talk to you about how you can get divorced and remarried. I want to talk to you about how you can become financially destitute. I want to talk about how you can utterly ruin your life in the next 20 years.
Suddenly they were looking up. And all you have to do is ignore God's wisdom. That's all you have to do. Because he's given you everything you need. But if you want to go your own way, you can go your own way.
Let me finish up by talking to the young people. I'm going to start with the guys. God's got a plan for your life. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something that this culture needs.
This culture needs Some godly men. That's what it needs. A godly man. can turn a culture. He said, well, I'm just a young guy.
God loves young guys. And here's what you do. You give your life to Christ. Give your whole heart to Christ. You follow him.
You know that verse, seek ye third the kingdom of God? Sikhi, what? First you put Christ first in your life. You put him first. And you know what he'll do?
He'll bless your life. He'll bless your life. And then I'll tell you what else you do. You start looking for a woman to marry. To Mary.
You're looking for a wife. You're not looking for a Barbie doll. You're looking for a woman to go through life with who'll stand with you. Who's got some grit? who's got some gut, because it's tough.
You need a strong one.
So start looking for that kind of woman.
So I got a girlfriend. Great. Good. How's her character? Or what?
Her character. By the way, how's your character, man? I mean all these guys, these young guys, you know, strutting around. Man, I can binge pass 575 pounds.
Well, Pinnerose on your nose. Hey, let me ask you something. How much can you bench press with your character? Can you fight off sexual temptation on the television in a lonely hotel room? Huh?
Don't tell me how much you can bench press if you can't touch a remote. You don't have the power of Christ to change that remote. You don't have to talk at all? That's what you need to be working on. And you're honest.
You don't lie on your resume.
So they won't hire me. Let me tell you something. You don't lie on your resume.
Oh, I didn't do well in college. Tell them he didn't do well in college. Say I was an idiot in college. The guy hiring you was probably an idiot in college. He'll appreciate your honesty.
But let me tell you something don't lie You say, well, I won't get the job. Let me tell you something: the Lord Jesus will get you a job. If you're a man of integrity. By the way, you and your girlfriend. Keep your hands off her.
You're not married to her. She's not yours. You want to be a man of God, you want God to bless your life, then you seek sexual purity. Say, well, we haven't done that.
Well, then you start today. You're going to follow Christ. This is the will of God that you abstain from sexual immorality. You don't excuse it, you don't rationalize it.
Well, well you mean that's what I mean? You say that's hard, you bet it's hard. And by the way, let me say something to you young ladies. Don't you act cheap? And I'll tell you something else.
Don't you dress cheap?
Some of you ladies need to cover up. I'll tell you what, I'm in churches I'm in churches all over America. I'm in churches all over America and I am stunned. at the women I see walking in. and how they're dressed.
And it's all they can do to keep themselves from falling out. If you get my drift. Don't do that. You don't need to dress like that. Number one, let me tell you something.
If you know what that does to men, why would you dress like that? Secondly, if you don't know what that does come in, you need to know. It didn't help him. You love Christ? Let me tell you, you love Jesus?
Then don't you act cheap because let me tell you something, you're not cheap, you're valuable. He bought you with a price. Therefore you glorify God in your body. And you say, well, well, I can't find any guys, and if I don't dress, no, no, you know what? You dress.
stylishly and modestly And let me tell you something. He said, Well, there aren't any guys. Let me tell you something: you only need one guy.
So you honor Christ, you follow Christ, and you trust the Lord at the right time. And then you find that guy, you get married. Then you have a bunch of kids. Then you get all stressed out and you get pains in your chest. It's great.
And you raise those kids and you're trying to make ends meet. Oh, it's great. And you love each other, and you show your kids how to have a good marriage, and you go through what's the marriage vowel, say better or worse, rich or poor, sickness and health? Because see, when you're young, you think it's always going to be better. But guess what?
It's going to get bad. It's going to get worse. It'll be good, then it's worse, then it's good again, then it's worse. It's rich and it's poor rich Fickness and the health. See, when you're young, you don't even know you can get sick.
You'd never been sick. See you get old sickness is an issue I mean, you get old, you get my age, you start breaking down. I got on an escalator the other day and I pulled a hamstring. It's sad. Just breaking down.
And you get, hey, you get married, and catch this, and you stay. Married. Yeah. You don't have to be famous. You don't have to make a lot of money.
You just love Christ. You work hard. You love your family. You say, I'm not making a difference. You're making a huge.
difference. And he's using you. He's got a plan. He knows what he's doing. Let's trust him.
Let's listen to him. Such great advice from the late Steve Farrar on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. John Man, we're running out of time here.
So let me just say that if you're thinking about a young adult who needs Steve's wisdom, he's written a great book called How to Ruin Your Life by 30: Nine Surprisingly Everyday Mistakes You Might Be Making Right Now. Steve combines humor and biblical truth to help young adults focus on God's will for their lives and how to live it out. Get the book from us here at Focus on the Family, and for a donation of any amount, we'll include a free audio download of Steve's entire message with quite a bit of extra content. You won't get that from any other online bookseller. Let me also remind you that we have caring Christian counselors here who would be happy to listen to your concerns for yourself or for a child or grandchild and help you find a like-minded counselor in your Area if that is needed.
That's a free service that we provide thanks to donors just like you.
So get in touch with us today. Again, our number is 800, the letter A in the word family to request a counseling callback. Of course, you can get your copy of How to Ruin Your Life by 30 and donate when you call that number or online when you click the links in the show notes. And thanks for listening to Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. Please take a moment and leave a rating for us in your podcast app and share this episode with a friend.
Help us spread the word about this great content. I'm John Fuller inviting you back next time as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.
Next year marks 50 years of ministry for Focus on the Family, encouraging families and helping them thrive in Christ every day. How has God used Focus on the Family to strengthen your marriage, guide you in your parenting, restore a relationship, or bring hope in a difficult season? We want to hear your story. Call now and share how Focus on the Family has made an impact in your life. You'll find the details and the link in the show notes.
