Your marriage can be healed. A hope-restored marriage-intensive from focus on the family can transform you and your spouse's relationship in just a few days. We'll go to this thing, but this is it. If this doesn't work, we're done. What we have now, it's way more than we ever had before and that I ever even dreamed of in the marriage.
Discover more at hoperestored.com. That's hoperestored.com. He said, You need to treat every day like it's a bonus, because for you, it is. Wow. And I can tell you with all honesty.
Every day I wake up, I'm like, okay, I got one more day. We're not, nobody's promised tomorrow, but man, getting to go through that process, not only are you not promised today, you got a 50-50 shot, you're not making it to tomorrow. That's Ken Kington describing a profound near-death experience that really has transformed his life and his faith. And we'll hear more of Ken's remarkable story today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. Thanks for joining us.
I'm John Fuller. You know, John, sometimes people get very uncomfortable thinking about that last day to the point where we just ignore it. And I think it's to our peril because I think it's important to cherish each and every day. And we're not guaranteed tomorrow. We're not guaranteed this afternoon.
So we've got to, I think in a healthy way, not in a fearful way, but in a healthy way, consider the gift of life that God gives us each and every day. I love this friend of mine who gets up every morning, sits on the side of the bed and says, Lord, Bill here reporting for duty. And then he gets up and showers and goes to work. I mean, that attitude is the way we should start every day, right? And today we're going to talk with Ken Kington, a very funny comedian.
You may know of him through that venue. But today we're going to talk about some serious stuff that he encountered. And I think it will lift your hope and it'll give you encouragement to think of life. More preciously. Yeah, and Ken is a comedian and public speaker.
He's been entertaining audiences for over 30 years. He's spoken and performed in more than a thousand churches for major companies like Marriott and the NBA and the NFL and Bank of America and others. And he's written five books. And today we'll be diving into one that that clip at the top was really about. Every day is a bonus.
Enjoying the three greatest gifts in life. You can learn more about Ken in this book and her website. The links are in the show notes. Ken, welcome to Focus on the Family. It is so great to be here in person.
You guys have a beautiful place here. Oh, it's nice, yeah. This is awesome. Folks, the donors have taken care of us to be able to do this. And, you know, we put it all into play.
It's for the Lord's glory, right? Absolutely. But, you know, we've aired what we call hitchcocks, which are things that you've been out there in public, probably some of your skits and your bits, and people have so enjoyed it. I mean, it's good to laugh. You're the comedian.
Do you think it's a good thing to laugh? Oh, obviously so, but I absolutely love, and I've been in 49 of the 50 states.
Okay, what one have you not been to? I can let you guess off. Alaska. No, I did Alaska several times. California.
It's crazy enough. We'll have listeners. New Hampshire.
Okay, New Hampshire. Step it up. Invite Kenya. Really?
Somebody in New Hampshire. What did I do there? Mary and Ted are going to invite you to their home for dinner. And I could do a show in their living room. Right there.
Yeah, but I got to say, I absolutely love that when the first one of my comedy projects that we said, yeah, use it, popped up on Focus. That year, I bet I had well over 100 people just come up after shows and go, oh, that's on Focus on the Family. I'm like, dude, I've been listening to Focus since I was 25. That is great. I love that connection.
Let me ask you this question.
So many comedians, and of course, the banner comedian that this illustrates, Robin Williams. Many comedians come out of pain. Oh, yeah. In childhood, etc. Have you with the colleagues?
I don't know your childhood story, but. Is that a common thing that you've observed too with your colleagues in comedy? That a lot of them come from a place of real brokenness, but it's almost like the antidote. Like God gives them a sense of humor to get them through those dark times. Oh, yeah.
And then they can capitalize on that because they're funny. Oh, absolutely. I can't remember which. Old. And when I say old, I mean really old, like 1920s comic said it.
He says, but comedy is just tragedy plus time. That's what it is. And I think a lot of comedy is just talking about every day and what we're going through every day. And I can't tell you the number of people who come up to me after shows and go, Oh my gosh, did you have a GoPro in my house? Are you following me around?
And that's just it. We're pointing out, hey, this is happening to everybody. And I think people laugh because they're like, okay, I'm not alone. I'm not going crazy. For me, a lot of it did come out of that.
I was dyslexic growing up, and I was the kid people made fun of. I didn't look good. I wasn't smart. I wasn't popular.
So I didn't want to draw attention to myself. And I would say, probably. 80% of the guys I know that do comedy, we're not the class clown. We're the ones that just kind of sit back and, because of that, pain and hurt or whatever happened, and just observe. And then we tell our friends and they laugh and go, Okay, well, it's right there in front of you, but here we go.
And a lot of the guys are introverts that they love being on stage. It's like therapy. I get to go, here's my pain and junk. And people laugh and like, okay, I'm not alone. And that really is therapeutic.
Well, it's interesting that you say that because that then is a stage persona. That's what people call that. And then in real life, you're different, which sometimes can be difficult when you meet people on the street and they recognize you as the. Comic, and they come up and they're expecting. I remember when I was like seven or eight years old, and my mom was a waitress at a very, you know, nice restaurant.
And she called me on the phone and said, Would you like to meet Larry of the Three Stooges? And I'm like, Oh my goodness!
So she said, Come on down, and I'll have a sandwich and soup, and you can have lunch with Larry.
So I go down there, and I sit next to him, just him and I. And you know, so I said, Do I call him Mr. Stooge? And I said, Hey, Mr. Larry, it's good to meet you.
Hey, hey, kid, it's good to meet you too. You like your sandwich? But he was not funny, he was not funny. He was like, That was his day job, right? And eating lunch with me was normal Larry, and he wasn't like, Okay, that was boring.
Well, people ask me all the time, they'll ask my wife and my kids, and they've heard people ask me that.
So, how are you at home? Are you the life of the party? I'm like, I'm the least funny person in my house. Oh, that's I really am. And my wife is hysterical.
And she's a blast, she's life of the party, she's the extrovert. And my kids will tell people, Yeah, he's not funny at home. Yeah, you know, he's just real, he's dad.
So I get to be dad, yeah, which is great, yeah. And I get to be made fun of, and I am more and more as they get older.
Now, Ken, you're a fit guy, you could see that, and you know, you always paid attention to what you eat and all that, exercise. But this was the big issue in your life. I mean, what happened? And describe the diagnosis and then what went on. Yeah, I uh really I do.
I work out five days.
Well, then I worked out five days a week.
Now I work out six days a week, but I ate right for the most part and I was working out and just had some fatigue that started building up and I couldn't explain it. And so my buddy, one of my friends, is my doctor, and I said, Hey, Ryan, I'm feeling run down and I don't know why. Can I just come by and you run some tests? Tell me I'm getting old. And so I went by and he ran tests.
He said, You're getting old. That's what it is. And I was like, Okay. He said, But there's this one test. It's a calcification scan.
You don't qualify. Of your arteries. Yeah, well, of all your arteries, yeah. And he said, you don't qualify, but I'll prescribe it if you want to. It's $100.
And I'm like, I'll spend a hundred bucks just to know peace of mind I'm getting old. And I did it. And two weeks later, he calls me. I'm about to walk on stage in Birmingham, Alabama, sold-out show. Three minutes before I'm walking on stage, he goes, Hey, I got your test results.
I'm like, okay. And he said, remember how zero to 20? Zero is the best, 20 is the worst. I'm like, okay. And he said, uh yours was six hundred and ninety seven.
And I'm like, I literally said, so I'm dead and I don't know it. And he's like, well, he says, let me read the notes. And it says, this heart is in the bottom 2% of all hearts. A cardiac episode is imminent. Oh, my.
Now, try to go be funny after that. Oh, my word. The timing was terrible. Timing and comedy is big. I actually, I said, what do I do?
And he says, well, just see a cardiologist when you get home. I did the show, got back on the tour bus, and the road manager goes, You good? And I was like, Man, I just got some really cruddy news. And told him, finish the tour, go see a cardiologist, series of tests over a couple weeks. And they said, Man, this is just not making sense.
You have these numbers. You should weigh 500 pounds, be a chain smoker, and an alcoholic. And I'm like, wow. And yet I'm not. And so he says, let's do a stress test.
And that's when it happened.
So I worked out that morning. Came into the stress test, and they just put a calf in. No, this one was where they literally get your heart rate up and they do an echo of your heart. Yeah, the boom, boom, boom. I've had that.
And he said, They've just lost it. They're like, lay down. You got to be, what is happening? I'm like, I'm looking at you like right now. I'm like, I don't know.
They said, How much pain do you end? Zero to ten? I'm like, Zero. And they're like, that's not possible. I'm like, do I look like I'm lying?
And they're like, just relax. And I'm like, well, I was till you keep talking like that. Exactly. And then he says, we got to do something.
Next day, they do a cath, they go into my heart. And wake me up. I mean, 20 minutes after they put me in, I said, There's nothing we can do. You're on an emergency track for open heart surgery. What were they noticing in that moment when they were doing the stress test?
Are you having a heart attack or anything?
Well, they showed the video to me, and I'm not a doctor, but he said, This is what a heart looks like when it's in. complete Cardiac arrest. And I'm like, wow. And he's like, yeah. they can't match this up.
So through the CAF, And then they put me in CCU, and that's when Dr. Myung came and talked to my wife. I was not there. He says, we're going to do quadruple bypass tomorrow. All four of his major arteries are over 99% blocked.
Let me ask you, in that context, they told you, your doctor said, you got like a 60% chance of. He told my wife, at best he's got 60%. I can't tell you he's going to make it to tomorrow.
So she came in and told you this? She didn't tell me beforehand. I didn't find out before. You didn't hear that because I was thinking, man, what went through your head when you heard you got a 60% chance?
Well, the PAs had come in and they were talking to me, getting me ready, and three times that day, and I'm getting everything together. I'm having to cancel a tour, cancel all kinds of things. My staff is there. Three different times staff came in: a doctor, a cardiologist, and a PA, and they said. You need to get your affairs in order.
And I was like, they are. They're serious. Oh, and They were not joking around and they made it very clear It's not good. Intersection here with faith. I mean, you're a Christian man.
You're hearing about this. Are you going, okay, Lord? I think I'm ready. Are you saying, you know, if you let me live, I'll work twice as hard. If you let me live, I'll love my wife better.
You know, were you in the deal-making mode or what happened? No, I'll tell you transparently: the first thing that came to my mind, my daughter. Beautiful 21-year-old young woman. When she was four, she was diagnosed with cancer. And we went through that whole process.
First thing I thought when they told me this, and you're having quadruple bypass, and That's very serious. It's not good. I literally said, Lord, thank you. Thank you that it's not my wife. Thank you that it's not my kids.
Let it happen to me. Let me go through it. That's amazing. And the process that went from there really solidified and answered your question. My wife had thrown out on social media: pray for Ken.
He's having open heart surgery tomorrow and thousands of people are saying, hey, what's going on? And a ton of people said, We're praying for you. And I said, You know, I got hundreds of them, but there's like three people that said, Hey, I'm thinking about you. And I lost all political correctness. I wrote them back: think about me later.
Go ahead and pray for me now. I don't want to get in front of Jesus and him go, Yeah, I'm really sorry. Nobody asked. Yeah, they thought about you, but they didn't pray for you. Exactly.
So. I gotta tell you, I think the realization. of what I knew and believed. Really hit me at that moment. Do I really believe it?
Well, I do. And there's people praying for me. I can't ask for anything more than that. And it was this. I don't know, a resolve.
And I did shoot out: hey, any verses you think apply to my situation, send them to me.
Well, let me ask you this. Again, it's unique, and the reason it's intriguing to talk to you, a guy that's jovial, you know, you're a comedian, and then you get hit with this kind of. Imminent potential death. It makes you think very deeply about life. And I think in that regard, you came out with these three gifts, the first one being people.
So, what did you learn in that process? Maybe tell us what the three are and then let's get to people. Yeah, the people one was actually the third revelation of these gifts. What I realized through this time, all these people praying for me, I'll give you a couple really great examples. I was a little frustrated.
I'm like, Lord, if I make it through this. I've gotten to my faith where I'm just honest with God. And I realize prayer is not some flowery words we say in a religious place for a time. It's just talking to God. And I'm like, Lord, yeah, it's all about relationship.
I'm like, Lord, I'm. I'm going to be honest. I've just worked my entire career, and this was going to be the biggest month of my career. And I just lost all of it. and I'm just layin' in my bed.
I had just gotten done with my staff. They've got everything taken care of. I got everything resolved. And I'm by myself for the first time since I got the news. And I'm just talking.
I'm like, Lord, if I'm honest, I'm a little bummed. And I had that thought, and I had this one event. It was going to be the biggest event of my entire career, and it was now gone. And that was sticking in my mind. I'm like, Lord, I know it's not about money.
I'm thankful that you're with me, but. I'm just bummed. I mean, less than 10 seconds later, my wife walks in and she said, hey, You doing okay? I'm like, yeah, I'm good. And she's like, well, I just, somebody started to go fund me for you.
And I'm like, what is a gofund me? She goes, no, fund, go fund me. And it was brand new at the time and I'd never heard of it. I thought it was go fund me. Go fund me.
And I'm like, well, that's kind of insensitive, you know? And she said, I said, what's that? She goes, well, people can donate to help with lost wages or bills or whatever. And I'm like, wow. She shows it to me.
Now, this is less than 60 seconds after I've prayed that. She shows it to me, the first amount on there. Is the amount exactly that I had just missed from the biggest event I was going to ever have? Oh my. And I literally get chills right now, and I'm like, wow, that's amazing.
That's amazing. And that's just one of them. But what I came to realize. But Jesus said, if you do it to the least of these, you've done it unto me. And I've lived by that and I've loved to give and serve and do.
What I began to realize is that at some point in life, in some category of life, Every one of us is going to be the least of these. And that was my least of these moments. And what I learned from that. change me forever with the way I look and want to serve and do and give. Can people is that one and then you move to empathy and you say in the book Your wife is one of the most empathetic people.
I think we may have married sisters because I would say that of Jean. I mean, she is tremendously empathetic, almost to the point of like, no, no, no, no, wait, wait, we don't know what we're giving to yet. Right. But just has a heart of empathy. Speak to that with your wife and what you learned from her.
And that was just kind of a magnification. I'm a nice guy. If somebody has a need, I'm like, I want to do something if I can help. But she feels it.
Now, to get out of the hospital after the surgery, you have to go through a class and you have to have a friend who's going to be there.
Well, my wife's with me. It's about three or four other people there with their helpers. And they're going through this class: the breathing exercises, what you're going to do, and all this. And about 10 minutes into it, I'm taking notes and. The teacher stops and looks right at me, so I thought.
She goes, Are you okay?
Now it's the day after open heart surgery. I'm like, yeah, no, I'm good. I'm good. And she's like, no, not you, her. And it was my wife.
And she's sitting there, her bottom lip is quivering. And I didn't say it, but I did think it. I'm like, What is your problem? You don't have to do any of this. And she's like, no, I'm okay.
And so she starts again. Three minutes later, stops, are you sure you're okay? And she goes, no. And she's got a little tear coming down her eyes. And I'm thinking, I mean, literally, I'm just thinking, why is this bothering you?
Because I have to do this. And I'm telling you, it wasn't physical, it was more than physical. God thumped me in the side of the head and just went, hey, moron, this is what empathy looks like. She is going through. Everything you're about to go through.
And maybe you should take some notes. And I'm like. Wow. So when I say that people are a gift, This process opened that gift for me, realizing, okay, I can get way better in this area. And so, yeah, so she was incredible.
Had another comic, I had a tour during that November. Johnny W., great talented guy, he contacted my office and said, Hey, I'm going to do the tour for him. He did it, and he sent me the check. And I'm just like, I'm not a good receiver, and God taught me how to receive. And how to be a better giver in that way.
Yeah, that's good. Ken, another one of the gifts, the three gifts, is prayer. And I would imagine this kind of an event can really solidify your prayer life. What did your prayer life look like before and then after this event? Oh, that's a great question.
I pray daily. And it was very much kind of, Lord, here's what's going on in my life, and I need your help here, and you know, Lord, direct me here, and give me wisdom. Afterwards, I began to realize: one, I don't fully, and I don't think anybody fully understands prayer, how it works, how God decides what, but it's a submission and a conversation, submitting to Him, Lord, here I am, whatever you want to do. I did ask for people to pray for me, but I also. Vividly remember going through this, going, Lord.
I'd never been through it. I thought this was normal, but the power of prayer. When I learned the condition of my heart beforehand, and the people that were praying for me. I am convinced. that God took that and sustained me to where I could have the surgery.
And I realized that the power of prayer has a tangible effect on those we're praying for. I've had doctors tell me, and Dr. Young told me: he says, there is no reason you should be alive. And he says, you need to treat every day like the bonus. He says, Ken, I stopped and I looked and I was like, why is that heart beating?
And I believe is the sustaining of God saying, well, I'm not done with you yet. And then to be two and a half days. I mean, literally, they tell you there's gonna be six to ten days you're in the hospital. Day one, they put me in a regular room. Day two, I'm in a regular room.
They're saying you're going home tomorrow. And I know the timetable because I was home before kickoff. On that Sunday, and I saw the NFL games.
So it's like. What? And I, I mean, I didn't know any different. And this is a heart that's in the bottom two percent of survival. Quadruple bypass.
Yeah. And then I'm sitting there watching. And I believe that was God saying, I'm going to show you my power in this situation this way. You know, let me ask you this because to me, the rubber meets the road with your prayer life, what it was like before this event and what it's like after the event, because I think it would be different. Oh, yeah.
More intimate, more real, more genuine, more submissive. But I really, I didn't realize it was an acronym until after I started.
So I'm sitting in my basement healing. And every day I started. First thing I want is: I want to have my Bible open. We'll give that to you in a minute. But then I just prayed, and I'm like, Lord, thank you.
And I'd thank him for what's happening, what happened. And then I would put the W is just, Lord, here's what's on my mind. Here's what I'm worried about. And then I would take, Lord, here's what I enjoyed yesterday, and I'm thankful for that. Here's what I'm excited about coming up.
I mean, you can look at my journal yesterday and today, Lord, I'm excited about being on focus, and this is going to really be fun. I'm so thankful it's here. And then thank, thank him at the end.
So it's truth. What's on my mind? Excited, enjoyed, and thank you. And that's become my acronym. And I didn't realize it until somebody pointed out: you're tweeting Jesus.
I'm like, okay. I didn't know what the acronym is. I didn't know what it was. And somebody said that, I'm like, oh gosh, you got to be kidding. And then I have added this one that a buddy of mine encouraged me in, and I realized I was doing through this process, and that is listen.
Just sit quietly and listen. That's so good. What do you want to do in any of these? What have you done in any of these? And what do you want to do?
And that prayer, now I love this one other experience.
So I started sharing the story. I'm at a conference, there's a ton of college students. This one young lady came up and said, Hey, uh I want to talk to you. And she'd waited till everybody else left. And I said, okay, yeah.
She goes, I have a problem with your story. And I'm like, do tell. And she goes, you make it sound like if you get enough people to pray for you. Everything just works out. And I said Okay.
She goes, What about people who don't have that many people to pray for them? I said, God hears all prayers, but I said, You missed it. She goes, I missed what? I said, you missed the piece. And I shared with her the one part of it is that I had literally kissed my wife goodbye.
I'm rolling into surgery. And I could not be sitting on a beach under a tent Drinking unsweet tea with my dark chocolate cashews from Bucky's and been more at peace. I'm just. I'm talking, I'm like, Lord. I know you got this.
If I make it, Great. If not, I know you're going to take care of my family. And Lord, I feel like I can't lose. And one of the verses somebody sent me, Philippians 1:21, for me to live as Christ, to die as gain. Yeah.
And I just exhaled. And I'm laying on the table strapped about to have open heart surgery, and I'm like, I'm at total peace. I said, that happened. before Anything was resolved. I may not have woken up on this side.
It may not have happened. And I had total peace. That's the peace that passes understanding. And I think it's a gift. To having gone through that, I faced that you're shutting your eyes, and the next face you're going to see is Heather or Jesus.
And I got to go into that, and I got to fully digest that to come to the realization: Lord, your peace is real. Yeah, that's so good. Yeah. Ken, we're right at the end here. You're doing well, obviously.
You've recovered. You have learned some great things spiritually. And, you know, you're kind of like that pioneer spiritually. You know, you've been out there on that frontier with your heart. Yeah.
Surgery, and you've come back to say, okay, here's what it's like to face mortality. And I think we need to take those lessons from you. People, prayer, and truth. And truth. And I would just say this: what I discovered was the clarity of these really are gifts.
And if I'm going through a hard time or a rough patch, or I don't understand something, overwhelmed, or whatever. I've already got the three gifts. Which one am I not opening? Am I not opening his truth and letting that ingest me? Am I not praying for and with and just talking to him about it, praying continually?
Or am I not involved with other believers? One of those three is the gift that's going to open up the solution to whatever struggle we're going through, no matter what it is.
Well, it's well said, and you have this great readable book, Every Day is a Bonus, Enjoying the Three Greatest Gifts in Life. And I so appreciate you being with us on Focus on the Family. Thanks for being here. Absolutely. And Ken's story today has been so meaningful and authentic, and there's a lot more to it than we were able to cover today.
That's why I want to recommend you get a copy of Every Day is a Bonus. This book will encourage your faith and help you connect with God in new ways. Make a gift of any amount to Focus on the Family, either monthly or a one-time gift, and we'll send you a copy. And that's our way of saying thank you for partnering with us in ministry. And here's what your giving is paying for: a man named Alan recently contacted us and said this: Focus subject matter and content is extraordinary.
I've been moved in many ways by the Holy Spirit and have been brought to tears. Focus program. Programming has been nothing short of spiritual food for my journey.
Well, that is really inspiring, Jim, and very humbling, too. I mean, God's certainly blessed the work we're doing here, and that kind of comment from Alan really motivates us here, the entire team, to keep doing what we can do to encourage families and individuals to grow in their faith. Yeah, and let me ricochet that out to all the donors that help do this work. We're in it together, and I know God sees that. It's not just us doing the work, it's you fueling the work, and that's what we so desperately need.
Give generously today so we can keep feeding and keep fueling and supporting the Christian community throughout the year. Yeah, every little bit helps, and so call today, 800, the letter A in the word family, 800-232-6459. Or you can donate and get Ken Kington's book by clicking the link in the show notes. And coming up tomorrow, we're going to have a very powerful message from Gary Thomas about the devastating impact of infidelity in marriage and what you can do to avoid it. But I've seen it time again.
Satan presents this thing as a solution, as an escape. as a fun vacation. and it becomes a hurricane nightmare. that people try to escape from. Thanks for listening to Focus on the Family with Jim Daly.
I'm John Fuller, and finding you back as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ. Live your truth. A lot of people say that, don't they? But truth isn't something we decide. God has decided it for us, and it's our job as believers to share His truth with a world in need.
I'll encourage you to do that through my podcast, Refocus with Jim Daly. I visit with fascinating guests about important topics like gender confusion, cancel culture, and more, while helping you share God's love with others. Listen at refocus with JimDaily.com. Yeah.
