God is at work and He's calling His people to rise in truth. Truth Rising is a powerful new documentary from Focus on the Family and the Coulson Center. See how ordinary Christians choose courage in a culture that needs. truth. Watch Truth Rising today and find out how you can become an agent of restoration and hope.
Visit TruthRising.com today. That's TruthRising.com. The time to turn around is right now. Today Decide to turn around if you're on the wrong path. God is able to restore the years that the locusts have eaten.
You'd be surprised as to what God can do with the rest of your life. no matter the mess that you've been in in your previous years that you've lived. That's Dr. Erwin Lutzer, and he was our guest last time on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. Talking about breaking free from the chains of the past, which keep us from healing.
uh through Christ. Thanks for joining us as we continue the conversation today. I'm John Fuller. You know, John, we looked at some things yesterday that keep people from experiencing God's best, including not being honest with others, maybe not even with ourselves, about our failures, our sin, maybe something that was done to us and we're the victim. Dr.
Lutzer emphasized the need for a strong prayer life to overcome Satan's schemes and to trust in God more fully. Ephesians 5:8 says this: For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light. Isn't that awesome? What a great illustration of God's relationship to us and what He does for us in that regard.
Today, we're going to continue the discussion and offer more help to you. And if you missed last time, you've got to get the download, get the app, do what you need to do because it's a wonderful conversation and we're going to build on it today. Indeed. And Dr. Erwin Lutzer, Is Pastor Emeritus of the Moody Church in Chicago.
He served there as senior pastor for 36 years. He's written a number of books, and today we're coming back to this one: Putting Your Past Behind You: Finding Hope for Life's Deepest Hurts. It's been revised and expanded, and we have that here at the ministry, and the link is in the show notes. And some of the content in our conversation might not be suitable for younger children. Dr.
Lutzer, welcome back to Focus on the Family. It's always great to be with you. And what excites me is the practicality of our discussions as we're trying to help people, taking them by the hand, taking them by the arm, and hopefully leading them along. and a better understanding of themselves and God's grace. Perfect.
And, you know, in the book, you have an illustration that really talks about that, about how addictions in this person's case and how those addictions devastated their life. Living in Chicago many years ago, I think this gentleman was part of the police department superintendent. He was actually the superintendent. Yeah, and he was on a destructive campaign. Describe him and what happened to him.
Yeah, his name was Richard Brezek. And the reason I feel free to refer to him is he and his wife actually wrote a book later about their journey. But here's what really is helpful about his story. He was really a sex addict. And he fell in love with the stewardess, and he tells the story of what happened.
But the thing that really helped me understand addiction was this. He talked about the euphoria. It's as if you are in another zone. It is so euphoric that actually you lose all sense of proportionality, Even when he said to his wife one day, I'm going to break up with her, that very day he asked this flight attendant if she would marry him. Imagine that.
So here you have the ambivalence of human nature, but The addiction was so strong, and so what happens when you're in the midst of that?
Well, it leads to alcoholism. you know, in order to deaden the pain. It also leads to lying and deception. I mean, he lied to the media and lied to everyone. And as a result of that, you have a whole cluster of sins.
that come together. And to people who are struggling with addiction, whether it's alcoholism or whether or not it's sexual or some other addiction. What you always find is they always come in clusters. And so his story was very insightful, and it helped me to see how it is that these people feel so propelled toward this kind of behavior and even taking risks. Afterwards he was excited by the risk that he was taking.
Many years ago I was speaking to a woman who was a kleptomaniac. And she said, I stole things from the store that I didn't even need, but just the rush. The excitement of being able to do it and to get by with it was addictive.
So, what that reminds us of is that we could be addicted to almost anything. If it gives us the kind of buzz, that addictions give people. And so It's a terrible, destructive kind of lifestyle.
Well, it is, and I think a psychologist would say that's that dopamine hit, right? That's the rush you're looking for to feel that euphoria that you're describing. In that context, though, how did God redeem Brežik's? Life. I'm not sure exactly, except that he says in his book that in prison he found God.
And I suppose that that happens to a lot of people who, in utter desperation, at the end of themselves, having told themselves these lies for so long, Finally, seek God, and God is there for them. And it's too bad, isn't it, Jim? That it takes that before people turn away from their sin to God. And to all who are listening, We may be talking about the kind of addiction that you are dealing with. Let me encourage you right now to go for help rather than waiting until everything is destroyed.
Well, that's a good comment. And in fact, you know, he and his wife did reconcile. They were able to get through this. Amazingly, their marriage was able to survive. Yeah.
What are the roadblocks to breaking those chains of addiction? It seems like the entire culture is addicted to something now, whether it's screens or drugs or alcohol or sex. I mean, it's all about coping mechanisms and addictions.
Well, What holds people bound is, first of all, a feeling of guilt. The other thing that I think really motivates this is a feeling of helplessness. You know, there are people out there who think that I'm so deep in this, there's no way that I can possibly get out. And actually, when you stop to think of it, if people are thinking that they are denying the faithfulness of God. because God says that there is no temptation taken you except such as common to man.
and he is faithful.
So, the first thing that somebody has to do is to recognize that God can be there for them. No matter the greatness of their sin, there is also grace and there's a path forward.
Now that path may not be easy, because, as we talked about last time, it necessitates a great deal of honesty, but at the same time, I say to all those, Find help. Erwin, you've written about alien bonds, that sounds like a title of a science fiction movie, but you're saying that in the context of the things that destroy what God intended for human sexuality, these alien bonds. What do we need to know about the power of those bonds? Jim, this is so critical. In 1 Corinthians 6, the Apostle Paul says this.
He says that if a man has a sexual relationship with a prostitute, He becomes one flesh with her. Wow, what does that mean? It means this, that sexuality is more than just a physical relationship. It's more than just a physical thrill. Here you have a relationship where there's no love.
It is simply pleasure for money. and yet God says He makes them one.
Now this is why virginity actually is very important because If you lose your virginity, there's a sense in which, and I've counseled many people who've said that after that happened, I had a number of different relationships because, after all, You know, my innocence was no longer there. But here's the point. Let's suppose somebody is promiscuous. They are bonded to this person, they are bonded to that person, bonded to that other person. They have all these relationships.
And then they go down the aisle in church. and everybody thinks that they're going to have a happy marriage, and what happens later on, often, is that the marriage falls apart. That's why I tell people that if that is your experience, a multiplicity of relationships, a multiplicity of bonding. What you have to do To bring all that to God, bring all that to the foot of the cross, and then I talk about secondary virginity. That is to say, you may not physically be a virgin, but spiritually, I do believe that there is a place of starting again.
But it's recognizing what the sexual bond really is. And this bond is so important. I remember talking to a young girl who said that even though he abused me, it was my first relationship. If he asked me to marry him, I'd do it. Why?
Because there was a bonding there that was beyond the physical. What we have to do is to realize that I believe that in 1 Corinthians 6. The Apostle Paul gives us more insight into sexuality than many, many books that have been written on the subject. Yeah. I mean that, again, research has shown that bonding hormone is Present in both women and men.
It's, I think, God orchestrated to be, that's the commitment. That's why He wants that gift given in the context of marriage, because that bonding that actually is occurring is for a purpose. Let's use the Garden of Eden as an example. There's no way that Adam and Eve were allowed back into the garden once innocence was lost.
So this boyfriend says to his girlfriend, let's just do it once, it'll be our secret. What they don't recognize is that they are opening a door Innocence is over, and now that innocence is over, all kinds of dominoes have been set up that may eventually result in a very disastrous situation. Forgiveness for the person that's carrying that baggage of sexual sin into the marriage. How do you instruct that person to leave that at the altar? Knowing that hopefully that's been repented of, and you know, you're on the better footing now with the Lord, but it's hard to.
to leave that behind. You know, Jim, one of the most blessed passages of Scripture is in Luke chapter 7. I think I have the correct chapter. There, Jesus invites this woman. I love this passage.
This woman, because everybody knows that she was a woman of the street, She comes in to the feast, Simon, whose very self righteous is angry that she's there, And then he says if this man, namely Jesus, were of God, he would know what kind of a woman this really is. And she washes his feet. with her hair. and dries them with her hair. And Jesus in the midst of all of these people.
tells a parable that reminds us of the fact that those who have sinned much love much. and those who think they have sinned little, namely Simon and all of his friends, they love little. And then Jesus says to her, in the presence of these self-righteous people, Her sins, which were many, are forgiven. And I think that that story has been a very important thing. helps so many people.
as they think about the fact that in the midst of their brokenness and sinfulness, In fact, I've known prostitutes. who have ended up having a good marriage. if they accept the cleansing and the forgiveness of Christ, there is such a thing as a new beginning. But you have to want it. It may not come overnight.
But God is there to help us. In fact, the whole purpose of redemption is to help us in our very, very broken world. And I love that story. I love to preach it to people because it gives hope to so many. Erwin, we've teased this a little bit last time and today, but what about someone who's suffering from their past as a victim of abuse?
There seems to be many. I mean, of course, sexual abuse is prevalent. Unfortunately, you know, many young boys and mostly girls experience something like that. And it can be something that is a light memory or something that's a profoundly deep, troubling, life-altering. memory.
Um What are the steps that they should take for healing? I think, first of all, they should feel the pain, and I know they do, but they have to look at it honestly. They should not make excuses for their abuser, as some people do. They say, well, you know, he was an alcoholic and he did this and that. There's no excuse for a child being abused.
So take a good look at the pain. Grieve the loss, because we're talking to people who actually have had their childhood taken from them because of the abuse that they endured. But then at the same time As we emphasized last time, They really do have to lay down their bitterness and know that there is forgiveness and hope for them. If they are willing. to recognize that the anger and the bitterness that they feel is holding them back.
And then one other great word of encouragement. I want to shout this out to people. You don't have to be perfect in order for God to begin to use you. I've known people who've experienced abuse. and they became a great blessing to many other people, even though we might look at them and say, well, they haven't come the whole way yet.
God uses imperfect people. As a matter of fact, As you know, Jim, that's all he has to work with, is imperfect people.
So Let us encourage people and know that no matter where they are on their journey, we have to point them in the right direction. but at the same time recognize that God has a purpose. And that Even in that, They can begin to see that they can minister to others. Listen, there are people out there who can minister to others that I can't minister to. Sure, I mean, that's the goal of the church, right?
Come get refueled on Sundays, but then go out into community and do the ministry. But, you know, in 2 Corinthians, the Apostle Paul talks about us comforting others with the same comfort with which we are comforted of God.
So there are people out there. That you can minister to and you can help, even if you don't have it all together. And then the question is: who of us has it all together? You mentioned in the book a story about a woman that you counseled who had been abused by her alcoholic father. That had to be decades of healing.
describe that situation and what helped her.
Well, first of all, the question that I'm often asked by abused people is where was God when all this happened? I think that is the number one question. Sure. Does God care about me or does he not? And one of the things that I always try to help people to understand is.
There's a lot of mystery connected with God. I mean, I'm an older man, older than you, Jim. I contemplate God a great deal. And I have to say that I don't understand many of God's ways. I do know this.
that in the midst of that kind of pain, in the midst of that kind of disappointment with God, God is there for you if you call out to Him.
So what you have to do is to once again Go through the process. Of honestly looking at your pain. Honestly, considering what happened to you, without trying to minimize it. But at the same time, you have to lay it down and you have to move on. Yeah.
In terms of that woman, well, she represents many women that I've counseled throughout the years, and I've tried to encourage them and to help them and to know that. God is near the broken hearted. And if you take your need to him, He will meet it. and you'll be able to go on from there. It doesn't mean that you're going to have a perfect life.
because of what happened to you. But always remember this, God will never judge you. for doing a bad job of raising your parents.
So if your father abused you, It's on him, it's not on you, and it doesn't depreciate your value as a person. Which is so critical because so many victims do feel that way. Yes. And they, you know, they. see themselves as some uh in some way uh guilty for something which is not not accurate.
So, I, you know, again, people just need to know God's love for them is there. Erwin, you have an illustration about making a wrong turn in your life. I love this because I've often thought of myself: this is what we would refer to as wisdom. And I always envisioned it from my 20s as kind of being on life's freeway. And you have all these off-ramps you can take.
And the wisdom is. Is that an off-ramp I should take? And you could put any label on that, but. Wisdom as you stay on that highway of life, and if you're taking that off-ramp, you better have a good reason to take it. But speak to that illustration.
Well, you know, this was many, many years ago.
Okay, here it is in northern Wisconsin. and we were with some friends who said, you know, there's a restaurant ten miles away. We'll take you there.
So there are four of us in the car. And um They were new there, but they thought they knew where the restaurant was. But it's snowing And there may be six or eight inches on the on the road already, but They knew where the road was and They thought that we could get there.
Well, we went mile after mile after mile. And then they began to recognize this is the wrong road. And we have no idea. This was in the days before. GPS, we have no idea.
where we are going.
So the question is. How do we turn around?
Now this person had a very heavy car, and there were no off-ramps. I mean, as we went along, we were looking for a place to turn around.
Well, finally, we found an approach to this road. and he tried to back up, but the car was stuck. And so I had an idea because I was a farm boy and I understood this. I said, you know what we have to do? We have to get branches from the trees and we have to put them under the tires, under the back tires, and inch by inch, get the car out of the snow.
and we were able to do that.
Now, here are some lessons. Number one, Sometimes we get on the wrong road, and we could actually mislead others. Hmm. You know, I don't know that it was the case, but somebody else could have seen our track in the snow and said, well, this road is going somewhere? And it wasn't.
Number two. There's never a good place to turn around. Mm. You know, as you go along in life, you always think, well, I'm going to turn around now, or I'm going to turn around later. And I would say to all those who are listening.
The time to turn around is right now. Today decide to turn around if you're on the wrong path. And then, what you have to do is recognize that in the process of turning around, you might discover that you've lost some time. But thankfully, it can be made up. God is able to restore the years that the locusts have eaten.
You'd be surprised as to what God can do with the rest of your life. no matter the mess that you've been in in your previous years that you've lived. Trevor Burrus You know, Erwin, right at the end here, I want to capture this because something we do called That the World May Know with Ray Vanderlauen. It's great teaching. Ray is a Jewish scholar, so he applies that Jewish perspective on reading scripture.
And it's very insightful. One of the things that he talks about that most of our conversation has been under the umbrella of is that when sin entered the world, chaos entered the world. And when Jesus came into the world, he came to give God's shape. Shalom, God's peace to a world of chaos.
So, no matter which direction you look in our life, addictions, all the things that we've talked about, abuse that may occur, all that chaos that exists because of sin, and then Jesus comes to say, My yoke is easy, my burden is light, my shalom is here for you. But we have to be able to reach and say, I believe. Just describe for the non-believer that might be listening to us right now, they're not in the fold, so to speak. What would you say to them about? that reach.
that ability for the scales to fall from their eyes. You know, Jim, in the movie The Last Emperor, There's a scene in which the emperor says, I can do evil and somebody else is blamed for it.
So he takes a vase, throws it onto the floor, it falls into a thousand pieces. and over there a servant is whipped. In Christianity, it is the opposite. We are the servants who take our lives and we throw them onto the floor and they're in a thousand pieces. and our emperor Our Saviour, is whipped.
To those who are seeking hope, remember this. That Jesus Christ's death on the cross was a payment for sin for all those who would believe on Him. and you have not sinned too much, you've not gone too far from the path in order to receive right now. a free gift of eternal life through repentance and faith. Because he's the one Who paid our debt.
So, We end with a great message of hope, no matter who you are, no matter where you are listening. Whoever wills may come. Wow, that's good. I think it's a great place, and we don't do this that often, but maybe we can stop right here and ask you to pray for that person who has doubts, doesn't have a relationship with Christ. but they're tasting it and they say, I'd want that.
Can you pray for them? Father, we want to thank you today that Jesus paid it all. We thank you that there is nothing for us to do to receive eternal life except to. receive it in humble repentance and faith. We thank you that Jesus Christ's death was sufficient for all who believe and when he said, It is finished, It was finished.
overcome doubts, overcome reluctance, overcome darkness, For all who are listening, we pray to day, that if they've not put their faith and trust in Christ, they may do that right now. For as many as received him to those he gives the power to become the children of God. even to those who believe on his name. We thank you in Jesus' name. Amen.
Amen. And thank you for being with us. Dr. Lutzer, appreciate it. Couldn't end in a better place than the invitation to join God's family.
So thank you for that. We do so appreciate it. And if this is sparking something in you, maybe you're under the weight of guilt or maybe you haven't been living a life that you feel is honorable to your commitment to the Lord. Get in touch with us. Get a copy of this great book, putting your past behind you.
It will give you the tools to be able to move in that direction and to ask for God's forgiveness. And if you need counseling, we're here for you. We have Caring Christian Counselors, and you could schedule a call with them. They will talk with you, help you with other resources, including this book, and give you some input on where to seek deeper healing. We're here for you.
We have Coming Home, a great PDF download about joining God's family. It kind of expands on what Dr. Lutzer was praying for you. Get in touch with us for that. We're here for you.
And we're just a phone call away. And, Jim, you mentioned Dr. Lutzer's book. We're going to send that to our listeners for a donation of any amount. And this reminder that this week only, through the 30th, we're offering a special opportunity for you.
When you commit to a monthly gift of $30 or more, you'll become part of our Friends of Focus on the Family monthly partner program. And monthly donations really help support this show and allow us to bring on trusted experts and bring you trusted advice.
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I'm John Fuller inviting you back as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ. God is at work, and He's calling His people to rise in truth. Truth Rising is a powerful new documentary from Focus on the Family and the Coulson Center. see how ordinary Christians choose courage in a culture that needs truth. Watch Truth Rising today and find out how you can become an agent of restoration and hope.
Visit TruthRising.com today. That's TruthRising.com. Yeah.
