And I remember at 12 thinking, I've got one more chance to get it right. Whatever my earthly father saw in me that made him hate me so much, my heavenly father is never going to see that I am going to be the perfect Christian if it kills me. And it almost did. Wow, that's Sheila Walsh, and we'll hear more from her today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. Last time, John, we heard Sheila's rather dramatic testimony of her childhood in Scotland and how her father suffered a brain aneurysm and became a very angry man who regularly lashed out at her.
Only her, no one else in the family. And as a young child, Sheila wondered why she made her dad so angry and assumed that he saw something evil in her. Imagine that. He ultimately took his own life, and Sheila held on to that sense of shame as she grew up. If you missed part one of Sheila's presentation yesterday, please get in touch with us.
We can send you the entire message on CD or an audio download, or you can get the Focus on the Family app and have access to all the broadcasts. Yeah, we'll have the links in the show notes, or give us a call, 800-the-letter-A-and-the-word-family.
Now today, we're going to hear how Sheila's mom, Betty, coped with her life as a single mom of three kids living in poverty, never speaking about what happened to Sheila's father.
Well, here's Sheila Walsh speaking to our staff on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I want you to go with me, if you will, to a small, very small Baptist church on the west coast of Scotland. It's a cold, rainy, windy day. And someone is passing by the doors of this church, which suddenly open, and people begin to pour out. And this gentleman is looking, thinking, well, I've passed this church before, but there's usually not very many people there.
But there were so many people coming out that eventually he decided to stop and ask a question. And he said, you know, what was going on here today? And they said, it's actually a funeral service. It's a memorial service. And he said, oh, wow, is there like some local celebrity?
And they said, no, no, it's just, it's a woman named Betty. And he said, well, was she a book writer? Did she do, what did she do? And they said, well, nothing really, but she just was faithful to God. And when he asked me, because I was the person they were asking the questions of, did you know this person?
I said, yeah, that was my mom. You know, it's interesting. Nobody, unless you lived in our little town, would be familiar with the name Betty Walsh. But the church was packed that day because of the way that my mom touched lives in ways that were never lauded on television or in writing, unless it's in my books, but faithfully served God in the way that matters. And there's something so beautiful about living a life that heaven celebrates.
And I decided this morning to bring three things that have made a significant impact in my own life, and they're things that actually belonged to my mom. The first one is my mom's Bible. She was given this Bible in 1942. She was 12 years old. She won it as a prize in a flower pressing competition.
In fact, in Psalm 23, you'll still find a Scottish bluebell pressed in there. But the reason I treasure it so much isn't just that it's my mom's Bible. It's what she wrote when she was 12 years old in the back of that Bible, in her beautiful penmanship, which we seem to have lost these days. My mom had the most beautiful penmanship, she wrote this, grace is undeserved favor. It is love stooping.
Grace is undeserved favor. It is love stooping. I work quite a lot with girls who are caught up in sex trafficking. I work mostly in Bangkok in Thailand and Phnom Penh in Cambodia. And I've been in this one particular area where a lot of these young girls live.
And it was about 100 degrees that day, and their homes are all built over the local garbage dump.
So the stench was quite overwhelming. And after a few hours, I slipped out of the back to just get a breath of fresh air. And I saw something that was very stark in the contrast. On one side, you have this area where these young girls are literally dying, starving, ill-treated, abused. And then right beside it was this gorgeous Buddhist temple with the most amazing gold dome.
So I said to my interpreter, I would like to talk to one of the priests if they're willing to talk to me. And this was my question. Do you ever consider taking some of the wealth that you obviously have and sharing it with those who are literally dying on your doorstep? And his answer was very straightforward. He said, oh, absolutely not.
The poor do not deserve our help. If they will take the little they have and give it to us, then perhaps next time they will be reincarnated into a better life. Karma. But we know that grace is the antithesis of karma. We get what we do not deserve.
You cannot turn on the news these days without seeing all the unrest that's going on, not just in the Middle East, but across our nation. And so many religions ask their followers to shed their blood to prove their loyalty. We are the only ones where our Savior shed his blood so that we could be free. Grace, unmerited favor. It is love stooping.
The second thing I brought to show you are the pearls that my mom wore on her wedding day. You can kind of tell by the box that they are in that, yeah, there you go. that they're old. I have the picture of my mom and my dad on their wedding day, and my mom is wearing those pearls. And I treasure them because she loved them but there a deep spiritual truth in those pearls If you think about it if you think about how a pearl is formed you know the grains of sand will get inside an oyster and irritate the flesh.
And so what the oyster will do is coat those grains of sand with calcium saliva. And it's an ongoing process. It could take about three years for a perfect pearl to be formed.
So if you think about it, a pearl is simply this, a victory over tribulation. A pearl is a victory over tribulation. If you have lived more than 10 minutes, you know that life can be irritating. If you're a Christian, make it eight minutes. Life is hard.
but you and I have the opportunity to spend the rest of our days making pearls. That's what I watched my mom do. Every irritation that came into her life, every hardship, she coated it with prayer and she lifted it up to the Lord. She spent her life making pearls. Let me give you just a little example of the way that my mother's faith impacted me.
My brother, who's three years younger than I, has hit one of those spurts that boys do when they suddenly shoot up several inches overnight, and he needed new long pants for school. But my mom lived on a widow's pension, which there was just nothing in the budget. There was no extra give.
So after dinner that night, she said to my sister, my brother, and I, come and join me by the fire. And we sat there, and she said, we're going to ask Jesus for long pants for your brother. I remember thinking, okay, does he keep long pants in heaven? Do the angels wear long pants? But my mom prayed a very simple prayer.
Lord, thank you that you are a husband to the widow and a father to the fatherless. We present our need before you tonight and we thank you in advance for your provision. She said amen and went back to the kitchen. I sat by the chimney because I'm thinking, what's the delivery service? I mean, a few days later, one of my mom's friends was over having coffee with her.
And when she left, she left a brown paper package on the chair. And when my mom opened it, there were three pairs of long pants. And I said to my mom, did you tell Aunt Maureen that Stephen needed these? She said, no, darling, don't you remember? We told Jesus.
We told Jesus. My mom spent her life making pearls. I wonder what you face on a daily basis at the moment.
Somehow, I think we cope with the big things that we didn't see coming better than the daily irritations. There's something about a big thing that you realize, okay, this is something that we have to decide how we're going to move through this. But all the daily irritations can be so hard. But you and I get to choose. Will we allow them to impact us?
Maybe nobody sees it on the outside, but inside we're just mad, we're fed up. Or will we determine that from this moment on, we will spend our life making pearls. I read a beautiful piece by Billy Graham's grandson, Will Graham, his wife Kendra. They have a child who has a learning disability. It can take her a lot longer to do her homework than her siblings.
But one night on the Discovery Channel, they were watching a program about life under the water. And this particular episode was all about how pearls are made. And after the show, they talked about it for a little bit and then went on. A few days later, Kendra's in the kitchen getting dinner ready, and she can hear her daughter in the other room sitting at the dining table trying to finish her homework. She's been working on it for an hour.
I would have taken most of the other children 10 minutes. And she hears her daughter pick up her pencil and throw it against the wall. And so she says, honey, hang on. If you'll just give me two minutes, I'll come through and I'll help you finish. And this eight-year-old girl said, no, mom, I'm making pearls in here.
We get to do this. It's like we're part of God's secret kingdom, where the way that the world responds, the way that we're told to respond, we don't have to do that. We can live every day openly, gratefully receiving the grace that we know we don't deserve and also facing everything, knowing that we can make pearls. And one day, perhaps we'll get to throw them at his feet. I'm not going to show you the third thing right away, and I'll explain why.
It was about four o'clock in the morning, and the phone rang. I hate when the phone rings in the middle of the night. You always assume there's something wrong with someone. and it was my sister calling from Scotland to say that my mom had taken her last breath on this earth and her first breath in the presence of the Lord. And she was about to turn 88.
In fact, I had her birthday gifts wrapped, ready to send to Scotland. But I just, I don't think you're ever ready to say goodbye to your mom.
So I flew to Scotland, and in Scotland, funerals are very different than I've experienced here in the States. My husband is from Charleston, South Carolina. And when his mom and then his father died, it was a much bigger event. You know, there was a viewing and then casseroles. A lot of casseroles.
I don't quite get it. Your mother's dead. Here's a sausage casserole. But there you go.
Well, in Scotland, it's not like that. In Scotland, what happens is that you're just placed in a simple white robe, put in a pine box, and that's it. I wanted to see my mom one last time. I knew she wasn't there. I knew she was home.
But it mattered to me.
So I called the funeral home, and I said, I realize this is not typical in Scotland, but would it be possible before tomorrow's service for me to come and see my mom? And they said, absolutely. If you can come now, we will put your mom in a little room, and we can unseal the casket.
So, I went in and I just knelt down beside it and said, well done, mom.
Well done. You did it. You ran your race You lived in the grace of God You made pearls every day of your life and you made it all the way home You were faithful At the end of the service my sister and I went back to the house so that we could take all my mom's things. And Frances, my sister, said to me, you know, mom wants me to have her gold watch, and she wants you to have her engagement ring. And I said, yeah, I remember that.
Well, we found the watch, but we couldn't find the engagement ring.
So I said, well, I'll go talk to the matron.
So I went down and I said to the matron, hi, I'm Betty Walsh's daughter. And I was wondering, do you know where my mom's engagement ring is? And she said, oh, there's a story there. I said, oh, do tell. And she said, one evening when all the ladies were gathered in the lounge, one of their sons had bought a huge box of Belgian chocolates for his mother.
And your mom was kind of eyeing them up. And then eventually she said, I'll swap you. And the woman said, so what are you going to give me? And my mom said, my engagement ring. And the woman said, deal.
So the matron said to me, Sheila, don't worry, I can get the ring back. And I was like, nope. If my mom enjoyed the chocolate slit, that woman enjoy the ring. because there was only one thing I wanted, and it was this little picture. It hung above my mom's bed all my life.
She was given it when she was just a little girl, and it's how she lived her life. On the days that were the hardest days in life, she laid her head down on the pillow under that declaration, yes, Lord. when she'd get up in the morning with not enough money to pay bills, not quite sure how she was going to manage to raise three children herself because she never remarried. The first thing that she would cast her eyes on was that, yes, Lord. And I used to tease her when I was a know-it-all teenager.
I used to say to her, you don't know what you're saying yes to. And she would say, no, but I know who I'm saying yes to. And this is the thing that I treasure the most from my mom, living a yes, Lord life. When our son, Christian, was about 10 years old, he asked me, first of all, if I would make him a thermos flask of hot chocolate. And I said, yeah, sure.
Are you going outside to play? It was an unusually cold day in Dallas. And he said, no, mom, today I am running away from home. I was like, wow, that's huge news. Thank you for telling me.
And I said, can I ask you just a couple of questions? I said, did I hurt your feelings? Did dad say something? He said, no, mom, it's nothing like that. But think about it.
There's you, there's the dog, there's dad. Nothing big ever happens here. If I don't go now, I will never have stories to tell. that's so true so true so I said well where do you intend to go and he said north I believe I'll head north and I said and what are you going to do for money he said don't worry mom I intend to return home on weekends huge relief to me as his mother so I gave him the thermos full of hot chocolate and he put it in his backpack with a dog's blanket and his soccer ball, a few books, and he said, goodbye, Mom. And I'm like, traveling mercies, do stay in touch.
And off he went at the back door.
So I ran upstairs to the balcony where I could keep an eye on him, and he was walking around this lake where we used to live. And eventually, after a while, he sat down by the tree where he and his friends sometimes fish, spread out the dog's blanket, poured himself some hot chocolate, and began preparing for life in the north. But eventually I realized he was actually coming home.
So I ran back downstairs and that night when he was all tucked up in bed and we'd said our prayers, I said, Christian, tell me about today. Did you enjoy your adventure? And he said, I did, Mom, but I think I would have enjoyed it more if my bag wasn't so heavy. I thought about that a lot. what would it be like for you and I to make it all the way home and for Jesus to say did you enjoy the journey and for us to have to say well yeah I did but I think I would have enjoyed it more if my bag wasn't so heavy what would it have looked like if today when you came into this beautiful chapel suddenly all your baggage became visible.
I don't mean your snacks or your whatever else. I mean your stuff. The stuff that we just didn't know what else to do with. And so we just shoved it down into the cellar of our souls.
Some of you might be surprised by how much stuff you've been dragging through your life. Perhaps sad to realize for what a long time you've been carrying it. But this would be my question. If you saw it, would you want to take it home? Or would you want to take Jesus up on that glorious offer.
The last two verses of Matthew chapter 11. Come unto me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me, for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Ending up in a psychiatric hospital at 34 is one of the greatest gifts that God ever gave me, because it became so clear in the months that I was there that this life that Christ paid so dearly for is so that we can be free, not burdened by the things from our past, not weighed down by the things that we have done or have been done to us. I sometimes think, what would it have been like if when you came in here today, you said, slight change of plan.
Instead of having Sheila Walsh talk, we're actually going to show a movie of your life. Everything. Everything you've ever said, everything you've ever done. Even just the things you think, well, it's not technically a sin because I just thought about it. I didn't really do it but it was up there on the screen for everyone to see How would that make you feel The good news of the gospel is God has seen your movie God has seen your movie and He loves you And I think with just little shift in our understanding of being open to receive this outrageous grace of God, of seeing every little irritation and distraction as an opportunity to coat it with prayer and to wake up every day and every night to lay our head down with these two words.
Yes, Lord. I even had them tattooed to my wrist.
Sorry, Mom. because Christ loves us so much. When I first moved to Virginia Beach to host the 700 Club, my number one thing I wanted to get was a dog. I'm just a dog person. I love, love, love dogs.
And I found this little West Highland White Terrier, and I called him Charlie after Bonnie Prince Charlie. And this dog had one tennis ball that it loved. It was an awful looking thing. It was chewed up and I tried to buy him new tennis balls. No thank you.
He liked this old tennis ball. And one day we were out in the park and I was throwing the ball and he would bring it back and I'd throw it. But it had been raining and the road was a little slick. And I realized I threw it too far. And the tennis ball went through the park gate and out.
And my little Charlie followed it. And I'm calling his name to try and get him to stop, but he's not listening. All he sees is this ball, which disappears down a storm drain. And so does my little Charlie. I do everything in my power to lift that metal grade.
I broke all my fingernails. I couldn't do anything.
So I began to knock on my neighbor's doors. And one of my neighbors came out with his teenage son and I explained what was happening. And he got a crowbar from his garage and was able to get the metal plate off. And there I could see about six feet down was my sweet little dog on a shelf. And I knew if Charlie fell off that ledge, he would be gone.
I said to the man, I don't know what to do. And he said, I do. He said, my son is tall and skinny. I'm going to hold him by the ankles and lower him down. This boy is now in my will.
I'm going to hold him by the ankles, and I'm going to lower him down, and he's going to grab your little dog. And I said to him, when you get to him, he's going to be scared. You know, he might nip you, or he might bark, or he might wriggle. but when you get there, grab hold of him and don't let go. And this darling boy brought my little Charlie back to me.
So, imagine for a moment a day in heaven's courts and the father says to the son, I'm going to lower you down into the darkness. And when you get there, they're going to wriggle and scream, and they're going to hurt you. But don't let go. And Jesus said, yes, Lord. That is how much we are loved.
What a vivid word picture from Sheila Walsh on this episode of Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. Isn't she an amazing storyteller? I could listen to her all day. And if you'd like to hear more from Sheila, I'd recommend her book called Holding On When You Want to Let Go, Clinging to Hope When Life is Falling Apart. We have that here at Focus on the Family, and we'd be happy to send you a copy for a monthly pledge of any amount.
Why a monthly pledge, you might ask?
Well, most people tend to donate to their favorite nonprofit at the end of the year for tax purposes, and that's great. But monthly giving helps us even out the budget throughout the entire year and allows us to be better stewards of your donations. Many of us who work for Focus support the ministry that same way, and I hope you'll consider doing so as well. If you can't make a monthly commitment right now, we understand we'll send Sheila's book to you for a one-time gift of any amount. We want you to have it.
And regardless of whether you can give, we have a free gift for you. We've assembled a collection of audio downloads that are designed to give you encouragement for very difficult times. Maybe you're in a tough spot right now. Look for the collection called Enduring the Challenges of Life when you visit us online. It features wisdom from Johnny Erickson Tata, Dr.
Tim Keller, Dr. Larry Crabb, and Pastor Dwayne Miller, who shares a miracle caught on tape. Plus, we'll include this presentation from Sheila Walsh as extra content. Also, please call us if this show brought up some issues from your past. Our friendly staff would love to hear your story, pray with you, and if needed, you can request a call back from one of our caring Christian counselors.
Please, let us come alongside you in the name of Christ. app and then share about this episode with a friend. Help us spread the word about this great content. I'm John Fuller inviting you back next time as we once more help you and your family thrive in Christ. If the fights with your spouse have become unbearable, if you feel like you can't take it anymore.
There's still hope. Hope Restored Marriage Intensives have helped thousands of couples like yours. Our biblically-based counseling will help you find the root of your problems and face them together. Call us at 1-866-875-2915. We'll talk with you, pray with you, and help you find out which program will work best.
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