The Idol Of Narcissism - Part 1

Today on Fellowship in the Word, Pastor Bill Gebhardt challenges you to become a fully functioning follower of Jesus Christ. And so Paul says, with humility of mind, doing nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, he says, Look, let me show you how this is all going to play itself out. Regard one another as more important than yourselves. It's real simple. Do not merely look out for your own personal interest. You got to look out for the interest of others.

It's not natural. Not for us. Thank you for joining us today on this edition of Fellowship in the Word with Pastor Bill Gebhardt. Fellowship in the Word is the radio ministry of Fellowship Bible Church located in Metairie, Louisiana.

Let's join Pastor Bill Gebhardt now as once again he shows us how God's Word meets our world. I can't be sure that this experience happens to you, but I am sure that it happens to me. And that is that virtually every week that I'm driving out here in Metairie on the neighborhood, going down West Sesbonade, there's always somebody in a car in front of me who is sort of swerving back and forth. Inevitably, we get up to the red light and stop and I find that they are texting. And that led me this past week to start reading about auto accidents and texting.

And it was alarming. One third of all drivers have received or sent texts while driving. 18 percent of all drivers say they text on a regular or daily basis while driving. 37 percent of all teenagers say that they text on a regular or daily basis when they drive. And then the National Safety Council had some pretty alarming statistics. From the year 2002 to 2007, 16,000 fatalities attributed to texting, even more alarming, they suggest from 2007 to 2012 the number is likely to double. 200,000 accidents a year are caused by texting while driving. And as disturbing as all that is, it really has nothing to do with my message. Because this has something to do with my message. When questioned about regular texting, the overwhelming majority of those who text on a regular or daily basis responded this way. I know that it is wrong and dangerous, but I don't care.

I'm going to do what I want to do. Now, a completely unrelated story to this story, but a similar point. Dr. David Allen is a Christian psychiatrist, and he tells the story of a woman named Joan. He said, as a young girl, Joan basked in the glow of continuous praise. She was greatly admired for her beauty, her charm, and her intelligence. She had it all. In her 20s and early 30s, Joan was in her prime, and men of all description sought her. Her beauty was extremely important to her. In essence, her self-esteem and self-confidence became dependent on her good looks.

Joan married a couple of times, but neither relationship lasted because she said she didn't feel happy in them. Her failed unions did not grieve her much, however, because even into her late 40s, she was still in demand because of her exquisite looks. Then came that dreaded 50th birthday, and by now, Joan had started to age.

She was all too aware of sagging skin and obvious creases. And even though she invested in several plastic surgeries, she was gravely disappointed with the results. And although she was still very beautiful to the outside observer, in her heart, she began to feel ugly, and she dreaded her old age. First of all, Joan felt at a loss socially because she was no longer the object of attention at parties or other social functions. And aware that her youthful beauty was slipping away, she became less confident, withdrawn, and depressed. She lost her zeal and her zest for life.

One Saturday evening, while visiting an exclusive resort, Joan tried to end her life by overdosing on sleeping pills. Over the course of a lifetime, her beauty had become her obsession. Her looks were her pseudo-god.

And as she grew older, her god shattered, and she was forced to face the reality of who she was. Then Dr. Allen writes this, The most pervasive pseudo-god in our Western culture is the god of me, or narcissism. Enhanced by aggressive marketing techniques and undergirded by self-focused schools of psychology, our fixation upon self has become a harsh taskmaster. Life is all about me. How I look like Joan.

What I want to do, like those who text on a daily or regular basis while driving. Narcissism has become an American way of life. Way back in the 1970s, a Jewish writer, Christopher Lash, wrote a bestseller called The Culture of Narcissism. And he was describing America. And he said, We are a people who live only for ourselves, not for our predecessors or our posterity.

That's America. Narcissists. You remember the story of narcissists. That's where it comes from, the Greek myth. A young man named Narcissus, who was so handsome that all of the nymphs of Greece wanted his attention.

And he paid attention to none of them. Because he was only in love with one entity on this earth, and that was himself. In fact, one day when he comes to a pool, he's actually able to see his reflection in that pool. And when he sees it, he is just overwhelmed with joy. And he wanted so much to experience it fully that he tried to touch it. But when he did, the ripples would always distort the image, and that made him really sad. And even worse, when he sat by the pool, he found out that when night came, he couldn't see himself at all. And he became really despondent.

And so he sat by that pool, day and night, no food, no water, and eventually became emaciated and died on the spot. And on that exact spot, according to Greek mythology, that's where a flower grew. The Narcissus flower. You can look it up. It's real. And by the way, it's toxic.

And only appropriate. In psychiatry, a narcissistic personality is described this way. A personality disorder characterized by extreme self-centeredness and self-absorption. Fantasies involving unrealistic goals. An excessive need for attention and admiration. And disturbed interpersonal relationships. According to Dr. Jane Masterson, a book that was written called The Narcissist and Borderline Disorders, wrote this. These are the characteristics of narcissism, grandiosity, extreme self-involvement and lack of interest and empathy for others. In spite of the pursuit of others to obtain admiration and approval from.

This is one of those rare cases where modern psychology and modern psychiatry have a very similar view of the love of me. The idol of me or narcissism the scriptures have. Would you open your Bibles to 2 Timothy chapter 3. The Apostle Paul in a very familiar text. Trying his best to prepare Timothy to minister to people just like you and me. So he says to young Timothy, realize this.

Come on Timothy, you got to realize this. He said in the last days and that's the time by the way from the ascension of Jesus Christ to the second coming of Jesus Christ. He said in the last days difficult times will come.

And then he explains why. He said well men will be lovers of self. They will be lovers of self. They will be lovers of money. In fact down in verse 4 they will be lovers of pleasure. Rather than lovers of God. This is kind of interesting if you really think about it. Because the first thing he said is men will be lovers of self. But that's kind of odd. When Jesus Christ was asked could you summarize the Old Testament laws?

Could you tell us what are the greatest? He was very quick. And he said surely to love the Lord your God with all your heart mind soul and strength. And love your neighbors as who? Yourself. So it's pretty clear in scripture that we are to have some sort of self love.

Love your neighbors as yourself. But here Paul says difficult times are coming because you're going to find a whole group of people who love themselves. You see something's going on here. They are lovers of self. They are lovers of money. Well Paul wrote to Timothy in 1 Timothy 6 that God richly supplies all things to us. And he's referring to the wealthy of us to enjoy. So there's nothing necessarily wrong with having money. In fact the same thing would apply to being lovers of pleasure. God richly supplies all things for us to enjoy. That's why it's called pleasure.

But there's something wrong with this. Lovers of money. Lovers of self. Lovers of pleasure. And then he says rather than lovers of God.

In other words these are loves that are exclusive loves. The person who loves himself in this way loves himself at the exclusion of everybody else. Even God himself. People who love money in that way.

That's why Jesus was so clear. Don't tell me you can love money and love God. He said you're going to love one and hate the other eventually because no man can really serve two masters. So the whole idea here materialism, hedonism and narcissism. The lover of self.

And when we're those kind of people notice the kind of people we show up being. He said boastful. That's a narcissist isn't it? Arrogant. Revilers.

Disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable. Malicious gossips. No self control. Brutal.

Haters of good. Treacherous. Reckless.

And then a great word. Conceited. He said we become conceited.

Of all of the idols that we can be tempted to fall in love with there is no idol in your life as great as you. And boy it is very easy to fall into this. We were made for this.

You see since we have fallen natures we just go like a moth to a light when it comes to make the whole world about yourself. Everybody at work is there for you. Everybody on the bus is there for you. You see everybody here is here for you.

Everybody everywhere is here for you and we come by it naturally because of our fallen nature. Have you ever heard of the toddler property laws? Okay. There are toddler property laws and here are the laws. If I like it, it's mine. If it's in my hand, it's mine. If I can take it from you, it's mine. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. If it's mine it must never appear to be yours in any way. If I'm doing something or building something, all the pieces are mine. If it looks just like mine, it's mine. If I think it's mine, it's mine. If it's yours and I steal it, it's mine. And by the way, if you doubt that, just go back to the toddler room in any Sunday morning.

And the laws are all in play. You see that's the way we are. We are pre-wired for this idol of me, this idea of being narcissistic. See man has always come up with ways of living life that are not the ways God said we should live our lives.

And we end up always falling short. The Greeks said be wise, know yourself. The Romans said be strong, you need to discipline yourself.

Religion always says the same thing, be good, conform yourself. Epicureanism says be sensuous, satisfy yourself. Education, be resourceful, expand yourself. Psychology, be confident, assert yourself. Materialism, be possessive, please yourself. Asceticism, be lowly, suppress yourself. Humanism, be capable, believe in yourself.

Narcissism, be superior, promote yourself. Jesus Christ, be unselfish, humble yourself. You see Jesus Christ flies right in the face of all those kinds of ideas and he certainly flies in the face of narcissism. Would you turn out of Philippians chapter 2? Philippians chapter 2 and we deal with the question how do I overcome the idol of me?

The apostle Paul writing from a prison to the church of Philippi. And in the first two verses he's telling the church something that's very important to him. Basically it's this, I want you guys to get along. I really want you to be unified. That's what a church should be. I mean we all love the most important thing that there ever was, Jesus Christ.

So let's stay together on this. So Paul says therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, and by the way when you see the word if in this case, that's called in the Greek a first class condition of the assumption. In other words he means since, he means and it's true. He's saying therefore if there's any encouragement in Christ then there is. If there's any consolation of love, then there is. If there's any fellowship of the spirit, then there is.

And if there's any affection and compassion, then I know there is. He says you make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit. You be intent on one purpose. He said I want the church to be together. But then he understands the church is made up of individuals.

And I think the apostle Paul understands that there's one thing that can really disrupt the unity of any group of believers. And that is that some of them have the idol of me. Some of them are narcissists. Some of them are self-absorbed.

Some of them are selfish. And so he starts out in verse 3 and says, Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit. Now I don't know about you, but when I read that and really looked at it I thought, boy, I wish he would have said it differently. I wish he would have said, look, try not to be so selfish.

You see that makes sense to me. Come on, Bill, don't be as selfish as you normally are. But he doesn't say that.

He said do nothing. Notice, nothing from selfishness or empty conceit. Never let selfishness or conceit be your motive. Now it's interesting here, these words, selfishness. Arethia is the Greek word.

It's a lot like the English word. It means to look out solely for your own interest. And you really don't care what the consequences are to anybody else. You might know someone like that. You might be someone like that.

You see, he says do nothing from that or empty conceit. Now this is a great word. It's a compound word. It's the word kenodoxia. The reason it's such a great word is doxia is always used to describe God. And it's a word you know very well, glory. You see, it's glory.

God is a God of doxia, glory. He says do nothing, and it says empty conceit here. Kenodoxia, kenno means empty, empty glory.

King James Version translates it vainglory. In other words, it's just empty glory. It's glory that is proclaimed by the person who thinks they have it, but it's evident to all the rest of us they don't.

It's just empty glory. It's the ultimate description of a person who's a narcissist. He says do nothing like that, a highly exaggerated view of self, just like Joan had. You see, just like that. He said do nothing from selfishness, like all the people that say I'll do what I want, I'll text when I want.

I don't really care what happens to anybody else. You see, that's the culture of narcissism. And the reason he uses the word empty conceit is Paul said in Galatians 6, verse 3, something very penetrating. He said if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.

Think of it. When anyone thinks he is something, when in fact he is nothing, he deceives himself. Boy, for the believer in Jesus Christ, who are we to think we're something?

Who are we to think that? I'm something. I mean, it's clear in the Word of God you're only saved by the grace of God. You know what you added to your salvation? Nothing. You know who did all the work?

He did. All you did was appropriate it by faith. Even Paul said, you know, I am by the grace of God. You know, anything good in me comes from the grace of God.

So who am I to think this way, have this empty glory about myself? He also says, with humility of mind, regard one another as more important than yourselves. Humility of mind, that's one of the most unusual words I've ever found in the New Testament. It is tepino, prosune.

I'll tell you how rare it is. It does not show up in Koine or classical Greek anywhere. It's a word that Paul made up. It's a New Testament word.

It's a word never used. Humility of mind, Paul says. Humility in your mind. And if you think about it, the reason it originated in the New Testament and not in Greek culture, Greeks didn't think much of humility. They didn't like it. And they certainly didn't like it about the way you think. They were proudful of the way they thought.

They thought that's a good quality. And so Paul says, with humility of mind, doing nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, he says, look, let me show you how this is all going to play itself out. He said it this way. He said, regard one another as more important than yourselves.

It's real simple. Do not merely look out for your own personal interest. You've got to look out for the interest of others. It's not natural.

Not for us. And not the way we were raised. I mean, it has been for certain generations when everyone had to pitch in, but for other generations, not so much. I mean, that's the problem.

When you spoil a generation, you run a very good risk of having a whole generation of narcissists. That's the way they think about it. Chuck Swindoll says sometimes God just helps you, though. He said, and I love this. He wrote this about his own. He said it can become a way of life. Here's what Chuck Swindoll, one of my favorite pastors in the world, what he says. He said, I have found that just having a large family, say four or five kids, is enough to teach us how selfishness fouls up the works. He said, I recall when Cynthia and I began to have children. He said, I thought two would be perfect, alpha and omega. He said, ideal.

And then along a third came, not too many years later, the fourth came. He said, no, you need to understand what kind of guy I am. I like my shoes spit-shined rather than stepped on and scuffed up. I like my clothes hanging in the closet in an orderly and neat manner rather than drooled on or wrinkled up. He said, I really like my milk and a glass on a table and not on the floor. He said, I especially like my clean car with no fingerprints on the windows and no leftover school assignments spread across the floorboards.

So what does God do to help broaden my horizons and assist me in seeing how selfish I really am? He said, very simple. He gives me four busy kids, he said, who step on my shoes and they wrinkle my clothes, they spill milk on me, they lick my car windows and they drop sticky candy on the carpet. He says, you haven't lived until you've walked barefoot across the floor in the middle of the night and stepped on a full force on a jack. And he says, or a couple of those little Lego landmines they put out. He said, I'll tell you, you'll learn real quick about your level of selfishness.

He said, you see, this is not some kind of a deep astral or theological subject we're thinking about. Being unselfish is an attitude that strikes at the very core of our being. It means that we are willing to forego our own comfort, our own preferences, our own schedule and our own desires for someone else's benefit. I love that.

Forego our own comfort, own preferences, own schedule for another's benefit. At that website you will find not only today's broadcast but also many of our previous audio programs as well. At Fellowship in the Word we are thankful for those who financially support our ministry and make this broadcast possible. We ask all of our listeners to prayerfully consider how you might help this radio ministry continue its broadcast on this radio station by supporting us monthly or with just a one-time gift. Support for our ministry can be sent to Fellowship in the Word, 4600 Clearview Parkway, Metairie, Louisiana, 7006. If you would be interested in hearing today's message in its original format, that is as a sermon that Pastor Bill delivered during a Sunday morning service at Fellowship Bible Church, then you should visit our website, fbcnola.org.

That's fbcnola.org. At our website you will find hundreds of Pastor Bill's sermons. You can browse through our sermon archives to find the sermon series you are looking for or you can search by title. Once you find the message you are looking for you can listen online or if you prefer you can download the sermon and listen at your own convenience. And remember you can do all of this absolutely free of charge. Once again our website is fbcnola.org. For Pastor Bill Gebhardt I'm Jason Gebhardt thanking you for listening to Fellowship in the Word.