I think some of my favorite moments are speaking at the Weekend Remember Marriage Getaway and watching couples come up, and this happens many times, right in front of us, and rip up their divorce papers. They walk in on Friday night, not even liking each other, sitting on opposite ends of the ballroom. And then God starts to move. He takes hard hearts from Friday night through Saturday. And by Sunday, it's hard to explain God does a miracle and resurrects a dead marriage. And they walk out.
Maybe for the first time in a long time with hope. And a plan of how to make this thing work. Isn't it incredible how many years we spend in school or in training for a vocation? How many years or hours or minutes have you spent learning how to make your marriage great? I just remember going, Lord, I don't know what all these gifts that I've leaned on. And ultimately I was leaning on the Lord with them, but I was getting a lot of my own dopamine hits out of it. Of satisfaction of who I am and my leadership. God was taking them all away. And he was teaching me in those years we were overseas of the gift I have in Meg and the gift I have of being able to be a team and really getting at some of my pride and my own self-reliance in order to become a team.
Because I was in the way a little bit of us becoming a team for Jesus. Welcome to Family Life Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Shelby Abbott and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson.
You can find us at familylifetoday.com. This is Family Life Today. All right, so 33 years as the Detroit Lions chaplain, you know what that meant? A lot of losses. Yes, and a lot of head coaches. How many do you think I went through? Eleven.
Different head coaches. Good guess. Yeah. I think it was twelve. It's because I've heard you say it. Yeah, well, I mean, a couple of them made it two weeks, three weeks.
But most of them are several years. But here's why I'm bringing it up. Because every time I met a new coach, I wanted to impress him. You know, like, you're going to keep me as your chaplain. I wasn't hired by the team, but the head coach could still decide, do I want this guy or not?
And so every time I wanted to impress the head coach, guess what I wanted to do? You don't even know this. I don't know what you're going to say.
I'm like, he's got to meet my wife. Oh, that's nice. I'm not kidding. You know this. You didn't know this?
No. It was strategic on my part. Because I'm like, everybody has told me so much so that I sort of got annoying that you're so much better with your wife. You're good, but your wife and you, you're so much better.
That's really sweet. I knew if my head coach could meet my wife, he'd like me. And remember Rod Marinelli?
No. I mean, I remember Rod. Of course you remember Rod.
But I don't know what you're going to say. I hope Rod's not listening right now because my wife just said, I don't even remember. No, I remember his wife Barb too.
Yeah, she was great. But I remember the first lunch we had together after we were walking through the building, he turns to me and goes, man, your wife is dynamite. You two together.
Wow. I'm looking forward to what happens. Did you tell me this? I'm telling you now.
This is so nice now that you're telling me on the air. Well, the reason I'm bringing that up is we're sitting with a couple right here in front of us in our studio that I think is the same way. Me too. David and Meg Robbins, you two.
Well, first of all, let me say welcome to Family Life Today. It's good to be here with you guys in studio. And when I, you know, when we met you a couple of years ago, that was one of the thoughts I had.
Me too. You guys are so, I mean, David, first of all, you're amazing. Unbelievable. Meg, you're amazing. But I am better with her. There's no doubt.
I mean, it was like one of these things. It was like, and you know, some couples aren't that way, but you guys, that's why I thought of that. You are dynamite together. Even just a few days ago watching you speak on stage, you were just, there's charisma. You've been married how many years?
Two decades. And I mean, in thinking about being a team, like we go back to that transformation really happened in the trenches when we weren't on a stage, when we weren't leading really anything hardly at all of significance. We were overseas in Italy and man, some real transformation happened being kind of in the wilderness for me and me realizing how amazing Meg is and some gifts that she has.
And you've got four kids at home. Tell us a little bit about your family. We, okay. So I came in to Ole Miss, the University of Mississippi as a freshman and David was actually my orientation leader and that's how we met initially. And actually the genius move that he made was that when I walked up and he was calling roll because he's two years older than me. So he's leading our group and he says Meg, which if you don't know this about me, my first legal name is actually Mildred. So he says Meg and I just stand there knowing that the role doesn't say Meg. So I jump in and I go, is there a Meg? Does anybody go by Meg? And I was like, well, I go by Meg, but I'm pretty sure that's not what your paper says. And he said, well, I didn't think you would go by Mildred. So anyway, it was funny. He had my initials were M-E-G and he saw my full name and thought this girl probably goes by her initials.
I'm just saying things out loud in the moment. It's not on purpose, but it was a first impression, whether good or bad, it was a first impression. But when we came back to school in the fall, Crew, we were involved with Crew, Campus Crusade at the time, was starting coed Bible studies. And a girl invited me to her Bible study and she said, the guy that I'm leading with, you may know him, his name is D-Rob.
And I was like, oh, that was my orientation leader. So we were in the same Bible study for a semester. So I got to see this freshman's heart. I mean, she came into college. I needed two years.
Thank goodness I was two years older than her. I rode the fence in lots of ways, but Jesus kind of got a hold of my heart. That summer I was leading her orientation group.
I went right after that over to Romania on a Crew summer mission. And I mean, God just met me of how big of a God he is to all the nations. And I came back, you know, on fire leading this small group. And then I got to see this freshman every week and her heart just opened up of her love for Jesus.
I go, who is this freshman? OK, but it's important to note that he came back so on fire. Well, I didn't know him really before. And I actually wrote in my journal.
Let's just say thanks to the Lord. Pre-Jesus. But I wrote in my journal that I wanted to marry somebody just like David Robbins. But I had no idea. He was a junior. He was kind of big man on campus and was so passionate and on fire for the Lord.
And it was so obvious. And so I had journaled that and was like loving getting to know him, but never dreamed that it would be an option. Why didn't you write, I want to marry David Robbins?
Because I didn't think there would ever be an option. He has a little freshman. Meanwhile, I'm like, this is exactly the type of person I'd want to date and see if I'd want to marry. I mean, she has everything. And I'm telling my small group co-leader, hey, Beth, I really got to start being careful.
You know, I'm like redeeming my flirtation, you know, and my propensity to flirt. And I'm really trying to follow the Lord and how I pursue somebody. And so I think we need to start leaving Meg out of our Bible studies, social activities.
It just was overreaching. And Meg, meanwhile, starts sharing come October or so. Hey, I'm loving being in a sorority and meeting and having an impact to people that don't know Jesus.
But I really need Christian friends. And I'm going, we can't invite her to our social stuff because I don't trust myself. Meg, I'm so sorry for you. I know. It's on me.
I mean, it paid off in the long run. Later when we were dating, something came up about that and I was like, wait, what? I was like, I knew y'all were doing all that stuff. And I was wondering what was going on because I would see my friends. And they'd be like, aren't you coming? Everybody's coming from my house. You were saying no, I wasn't invited.
I didn't even know about this event. I've apologized and the Lord's forgiven. But what's true is that the day that Bible study ended in December, that next day I called you, asked her to our formal Christmas formal. And we went, we had a great time. She danced.
That was a high, that was a big criteria for me. I love the dance. She danced.
Do you know why that's a criteria? Because you guys can dance. David can really dance. Everybody's question when leading up to, oh, who are you going to this formal with? And I would say, dear Rob, and they'd say, oh, I hope you like to dance. I probably had 15 people say, oh, I hope you like to dance. So, but then after that formal, we went out to lunch and just kind of laid it out.
I'd seen what I wanted to see. And so we went really slow because we started dating when she was a freshman. So did you come on set for right out of college? We did.
Yeah. I remember December 31st, 1998, being in a hotel ballroom at a conference that crew was putting on. I was praying that month, Lord, I want to, I love advertising and I want to go to New York and, and live that. And there's gifting there, but I feel this pull to, to serve you full time for a season. And I remember I was going through first Corinthians and was on December 30th. I was taking that month to pray about it. And I really was asking the Lord, would you show me by the end of this month?
Which, you know, I would have kept following him if not and trusting him, but that's what I was really trusting him for. And on, it was like first Corinthians eight on orderly worship on December 30th. And I'm like, oh, come on, Lord, I need like for you to show up. And then it was first Corinthians nine on December 31st and woe to me if I do not preach the gospel. And I remember journaling woe to me of what?
And, you know, writing some things. And then verse 19, although I'm free and belong to no man, I make myself a bond servant to men as many as possible to the Lord. And, you know, in that moment, it was Jesus in the spirit kind of met me in a sweet way of you're free, David, to go do whatever, you know, profession and occupation you want to do, choose to be my bond servant.
No matter what you do, everyone is a sent one, no matter what vocation they choose. But I heard kind of the spirit, you know, just whispering to me, how about you serve me full time for a season? And so I jumped in two years later, Meg jumps in and together we started lifting our eyes to what would it look like to go to the world?
Yeah. And honestly, for me, I, when we were dating and really serious, we knew we'd be getting engaged pretty soon. And he was joining staff and I was kind of praying like, Lord, I know that I love ministry. I love being a part of this.
I love what Crewe is doing. So it's an easy yes. But I also wanted to know, I would love to know, Lord, do you have this for me too? You know, is this what you're calling me to? So I prayed for that and I asked for that. And actually, while he was at staff training, I went on overseas mission trip to Italy with Crewe. And during that time, at the very end, we were kind of debriefing about to come back home. And the Lord just used something that happened in Rome and the verse in second Corinthians five that says Christ's love compels us that those who live no longer live for themselves, but for Christ who died for them. And I just had this sense of urgency and just taking that to the Lord of, OK, God, I mean, realizing, yeah, I am passionate about this.
You've given me a love for this and a passion for this. And I think that has been so crucial for us through the years that God individually called us both, but also together just has kind of written on our lives, just living, living for him and wanting to say yes to whatever he's calling us to at different stages in our life. But when we first got married, we went overseas, actually, after that. We were at University of Mississippi.
They placed him back there, which was super nice. Well, I finished school and then we went overseas to Italy. That was our partnership at Ole Miss was at the University of Pisa. I do remember, though, right before we went, our first touch point with family life was actually right before we went overseas on our one year anniversary, we went to a weekend to remember. And it was an important one because we it layered some things in our lives where we were obviously committed to the Lord.
God was moving in our lives. We had a great first year, but I was amazed spending that afternoon at the weekend to remember writing this love letter out through promptings of some things that had been covered that morning going. There's some layers of kind of they weren't secrets in my life, but they were insecurities in my life and things that I wasn't disclosing to her.
And it wasn't that I was trying to hide them. It was just that God was really in that weekend showing me if you want deeper intimacy, keep disclosing, keep going there. You have this bride that that we are meant to be more one and draw closer together, even in your insecurities. And it was such a critical moment for us. I remember sharing that love letter with you and you just affirming me in some deep, important ways to go.
Why am I holding on? Why am I not disclosing this to her? She loves me, will show grace to me, and it really deepening us in some important ways before we went overseas. I can remember when we went to the weekend to remember conference two weeks before we got married.
And the love letter is a significant part of that conference, isn't it? Because I remember thinking I shared some things with Dave, too, of insecurities that I had never shared, and it just exposes the fear, the insecurities. And I think that's exactly where God wants us to go, like to be totally exposed, totally known and seen. And you're scared, like, will I still be loved? And there's something about getting away for a weekend and being guided through it that makes it really safe.
It's not it's not scary because there's that safety of being guided in that process. You know, it sounds like you're setting up a weekend to remember promo. And I don't know if our listeners know, but this week, in fact, if you want to sign up for a weekend to remember, it's half off.
And if you're anything like me, half off is like I'm jumping on that deal right now. And the conference, it's interesting. It's similar to what you went to and we went to in 1980. What was your year?
Ours was 2001. Yeah. And so but it's a whole new conference.
Updated. Yeah. It's amazingly the same content presented in a fresh new way. And I just say to a listener right now, like you're listening to this, you're thinking we should go. You should go.
I'm just going to repeat. Like you guys, you should go. You have to go. And even if you're like apprehensive, just go Friday night and I'll bet you you're going to stay the weekend.
Go to familylifetoday.com. You can sign up right there and you can go to any city you want. There's probably one right near you. But pick one and go. So I would say, just as you said, David, there's something about getting away. Like those love letters, you're not going to write the love letter. You could at home. But, you know, you're busy. The demands of life are pulling at you. Kids, this is a time where you can really see each other, focus, hear God's biblical viewpoint for marriage.
Why did he want us or what was God's idea behind marriage? So we really hope you'll go. Yeah. I think one thing that was so significant for us years ago, and we still see so true today about the weekend to remember, is the questions and the intentionality that it frames up for you. You're right.
You could sit at home and try to write a love letter. But what brought those things out were just the content for sure. But even more so just questions that it was asking us to think through that we realized, both of us realized like, wow, there are things deep in my heart that you don't know about me yet.
And then I need to take a step into more intimacy with that. And we've been to four now as participants in those four in different seasons of life, even though the content may be similar, the seasons of life we're in are not. And so God just unearths and his Spirit moves uniquely in each one of our lives in such unique ways.
And it's pretty powerful. I mean, couples come up to us every time we do a weekend remember and go, hey, you changed the conference. Like, no we didn't. You're in a different place.
So you're totally different. That's why you go back. But even now it's a different conference.
It really is refreshed and it's cool. You need to come back. Talk about what that's been like as a couple leading a major ministry, not just yourself. I mean, you have the title president, but you really are a team. Talk about that.
For us, it really does start right where we left off back in Italy. When we went there, Meg was, I was so attracted to who she was and her relationship with the Lord and the way she served. And she really was a powerhouse for influencing others around her. But I had my own things I was trying to prove. And so we went to Italy and everything that I had built up around me to prove myself as a leader, as a man, those were knocked away. Like I loved diving deep with men and I had this whole chain of discipleship.
And I love the depth of discipling men in their interior world. And you know what, in Italy, there really weren't that many believers to disciple. And to add a little complexity to that is I didn't know the language and I was really bad at the language. I learned very quickly I was the worst on my team at the language. And yet Meg, we discovered, really had this gift of being able to share faith in such a natural way.
I was always busy in myself or distracting other parts of the conversation with other people in the room. While she was jumping into these conversations in this very secular place like Italy, she would just naturally get into spiritual conversations. And within three months, she had, she was having spiritual conversations in Italian. Like she's the best. That might be a stretch. Well close.
She was the best on our team at language or one of the best. And I just, I just remember going, Lord, I don't know what all these gifts that I've leaned on. And ultimately I was leaning on the Lord with them, but I was getting a lot of my own dopamine hits out of it, of satisfaction of who I am and my leadership.
God was taking them all away. And he was teaching me in those years we were overseas of the gift I have in Meg and the gift I have of being able to be a team and really getting at some of my pride and my own self-reliance in order to become a team. Because I was in the way a little bit of us becoming a team for Jesus. I think probably we went into that season and coming out of college and out of David being on staff and me still being a student, you know, I was kind of like the cute little sidekick for him. And I think he probably would admit, and you've said it before, that that's probably how you kind of saw me.
I think I'm the one that originated that phrase. I grieve that I viewed you as a bonus sidekick to this, you know, mission I'm on, you know? And I think for me too, though, I probably had some insecurities and felt like he was the one with the role of leader and ministry and things like that. But when we were in Italy, we really did. I mean, we needed each other.
We had different giftings that complemented each other. I mean, I might be able to speak the Italian and he might be able to rally the fun and keep the energy in the room up or whatever. Let's also admit our date nights only in Italian were miserable.
That was one of the assignments from the language school. You had to talk in Italian on your date night. Which lasted all of, all right, let me just hear your commentary and monologue because I mean, I just was so bad at it. Well, you were used to being good at things that you were trying that were new and you hadn't had language since like ninth grade. Look how she's building you up.
It was bad, y'all. Anyway, but that year was so formative for us just to really, for me to believe more and who God's made me to be and how he brought us together. What you've talked about and modeled as a team is inspiring because I think a lot of us men, and I can't talk for the women. The women here will have to, you know, say if this is true or not for women or for wives and moms. But for us as guys, I think there's a lot of insecurity in us that we don't realize is in there. Even hinted at it in yourself, David, I know it's been in me and probably still is where I want to be the man.
And my wife can be viewed even by her own husband. I know Anna's felt this like she's my sidekick. Like I'm the man, you support me, you make me look good, stand beside me, do whatever you need to do so that I win rather than you're my equal partner.
I value you. You know what I'm saying? Have you ever felt that?
I'm not sure. No, I don't think I have because you haven't shown that. You've always given me a place and a voice and I feel like you're encouraging me to be heard. But what I was thinking, Dave, too, is I think some men can be intimidated because I can be pretty strong. And so I've talked to women that feel like their husband has pulled back so far because he feels like he doesn't have what it takes to offer anything, even spiritually especially.
Yeah. And I would just say, I mean, that's definitely true. I would say to the men listening, bring out the best in your wife. She is an incredible, gifted woman that God has blessed you with as your partner. And a question I often ask is, is Anne fully herself because I'm her husband, that I'm bringing that out or am I sort of holding that back or even like pushing her away so that I get the light rather than, man, oh, man, God has given us an amazing ability as a team to thrive together. Whether it's in a Bible study, on stage, you name it, right here, it's like, is her voice being heard?
I would challenge the men to say, is your wife's voice being heard by you and by those you're ministering to? And here's how you can find out. Ask her. Because she will tell you, probably, if it's true. And when I've asked you, she's, I mean, when I heard your story right now, I thought, man, you are not where you are today without Meg.
Yeah, absolutely. It's the beauty of God bringing us together. Two are better than one, the same for us. So it's been an incredible journey and I'm hoping that especially men hear this and say, I need to do better bringing out the best in my wife.
What a challenge from Dave Wilson. How am I doing at that? Do I champion my wife's voice? Do you with your wife, if you're a husband, listening? Well, take some time and ask the Lord that sincere question and be willing to allow God to change you if that's not happening in your marriage.
I'm Shelby Abbott and you've been listening to Dave and Anne Wilson with David and Meg Robbins on Family Life Today. You know, in many ways, what we've been talking about today builds stronger marriages. You know, when you're thinking about your marriage as a team, as opposed to just individuals, you're building a stronger marriage. And building that marriage that's grounded in the Lord, it takes intentional effort.
Investing in your marriage is something that requires intentionality. So I want to encourage you to join us at Weekend to Remember Marriage Getaway. At Weekend to Remember, we provide the tools and environment for couples to grow closer to each other and to God. So from now until September 16th, you can take advantage of the half-price sale and register for two at the price of one. You just click on the banner at FamilyLifeToday.com and you can start investing in your relationship today. Again, you can head over to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the Weekend to Remember banner to get more information. Now, tomorrow, do you and your spouse want to be better together?
Dare to say that almost everybody would say yes to that. Well, Crew President David Robbins and his wife Meg are going to share a surprise source for strength in your marriage. That's coming up tomorrow. We hope you'll join us. On behalf of Dave and Anne Wilson, I'm Shelby Abbott. We'll see you back next time for another edition of Family Life Today. Family Life Today is a donor-supported production of Family Life, a crew ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.
