Hey, before we get started today, I got to read you a comment that came in from one of our listeners. She said, I realized listening today that it was shame that I've been feeling my whole life.
This broadcast just nailed it on the head. I've spent my whole life trying to find love and acceptance. And after hearing this show, it just made so much sense. God does love me. When Ann said the line, you're already loved, I cried.
I said, that's for me, I'm already loved. I'm telling you, it's when people are impacted like that, that that makes me cry because that's our hope that people will meet Jesus and be helped. I mean, that's why we do what we do. I think that's what all of us want. We want to make a difference. We want to leave a mark.
And family life's all about leaving a mark and helping you leave a mark. And let me tell you, we have a goal, a financial goal in the month of August so that we can leave a mark and you can leave a mark and you won't believe this. The goal is $250,000. But we think we can do it. So we're asking, will you help us reach that goal?
Yeah, jump in with us at any level, familylifetoday.com is where you can do that and become a partner. If you jump in with us, we can make a mark in your life and you and I can make a mark on all kinds of people for legacies and generations to come. And guess what? If you jump in with us in August, we're going to send you Brant Hansen's book Unoffendable, and a pen, a Family Life limited edition pen, you know, make a mark.
That's what pens do. And you're going to use it to just carve up through Brant's book. It's a crazy great book. But let me just say this. We need you. We love you. We want to partner together. And when you and I, you and we partner together, we can change the world.
So let's jump in together today. There's got to be a way as parents where we communicate our extreme consistent love that we're committed to you 100% your well being. But love does not mean acceptance. I can still love you.
But that doesn't mean I can accept every decision that you make in your life. Welcome to Family Life Today where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Shelby Abbott and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at familylifetoday.com.
This is Family Life Today. One of the things that rarely happened when I preach for 30 years, and I don't know if it ever happened. I'm sure it happened a couple of times, but hardly ever did anyone in the congregation come up after sermon and say I taught something that they thought was in error. I might have. Oh yeah, you did. Actually, you did that every single week. That's a classic.
That's what God gave us wives for. Yeah, there you go. Well, we've got Alan Barr with us again today who's written a book on theology and not being misled. So Alan, I'd love to hear your perspective, but I was just thinking about that.
It's like I sort of wanted that. It'd be nice if a guy or a buddy came up and said, hey, I know the Bible and I'm not sure you... That never happened. You know why? Because most of the people in the church don't know their Bible very well. And they wouldn't know, I don't think, if I was in error or if I was right on. Now, my elders, our elders were watching and they were careful.
That was part of their jobs. Make sure we're staying biblical. But I think you're right, Dave. I feel like as a society, as a culture, we have become biblically illiterate.
Absolutely. And I know that when I sit in a church, but of course we're not the norm. Like we've been to seminary, but I'll have red flags go off when certain things happen like oops.
But because we don't know our Bibles that well, those red flags don't go off all the time. And so, as you said, you don't have pushback because they're trusting you and they're believing you. So Alan, talk about, this is sort of what you do. Let's talk about his book, this sled. Yeah.
I mean, you're writing a book to help people understand, you said the seven lies that distort the gospel. Sure. You've been doing this for quite a while. Do you find people pushing back even on what you're doing? You're on YouTube every single day? You've got to get pushback on YouTube, don't you? Oh, I get tons of pushback on YouTube. YouTube is a, there's a lot of pushback.
You know, I get DMS, which those of you don't know that's direct messages, you know, through Instagram, Facebook, we get comments on YouTube channel, we get emails. And a lot of it is just because people have been taught incorrectly. They don't know how to study the Bible in context and their pastors preaches this, or they come from a certain theological bent or bias. And so they feel like that I'm teaching error, you know, because maybe they've been taught something different. And I'm not going to say that I have perfect theology.
I wouldn't be as arrogant to say that I've never made a mistake or anything like that. I think we're all of us are developing our understanding and we need to be humble enough to admit that. But there are some things that I've mentioned in this book that are just clearly off that many churches and pastors and ministers and Christians are promoting. And a lot of it comes from just people not knowing how to study the word of God properly. And if you pick up the book, you may not even agree, Alan, with some of the things that you're saying. But we talked yesterday about there are essentials of the gospel that like are mandatory for our faith and our belief. But there's also some things that are going on that like some of you may not agree with it, but it creates a great discussion. And as we talked yesterday, too, what does the word of God say about some of these topics?
Yeah. And again, we don't have time to go through all seven. But just so the listener knows, you tackle if I haven't spoken in tongues, am I missing out?
Are health and wealth guaranteed for all the faithful? Do I really have the power to speak things into existence? What about prophets and prophecy? Here's one I would love to tackle today.
And it may take our whole time. I don't know. What does progressive Christianity teach?
I'm guessing some listeners are like, I don't know what you're talking about. What's progressive Christianity? But it's it feels like it's everywhere.
Yeah. Progressive Christianity is really becoming more and more popular. For those of you who are not really familiar with that, progressive Christianity is a branch of religion. And I say it that way because I'm careful not to label it as Christianity, because essentially what's happening is there are people who want to kind of have the best of both worlds. They want to have Christ, but on their own terms, they want to have the Bible, but only when it's consistent or in agreement with how they want to live. And so as we'll share in just a moment, you know, they kind of rip out parts of the Bible.
And if it applies to me, then I'll take it. If not, then I'm going to throw that part out. Largely the Old Testament, many of the things in the Old Testament are kind of thrown out. And the high idea of being progressive is that because our culture has progressed in certain areas as it relates to moral issues or inclusivism and things of that nature, then the assumption is God has also progressed in these areas. And Christians, you're a Stone Age Christian.
If you are still believing these things, if you still believe that marriage is only between a man and a woman, if you still believe that if you were born a man, then that's how you need to identify and things of that nature, you're a Stone Age Christian if you believe those things. And so the culture has progressed. We've gotten to a different place.
God has progressed. And so therefore Christians need to as well. And it's heartbreaking to see churches that are becoming progressive, pastors who are, who have gone full blown progressive. And it's a result of us not being bold enough to take a stand against culture. And we're allowing ourselves to be influenced by the culture. As culture is shifting, many Christians are shifting along with it, not realizing that God has not progressed in his beliefs on certain things. And we as Christians should not progress on these things either.
So let's get into some of that. Like, I'm thinking of parents as their kids are coming home and, you know, And I think the big one is you think about parents is inclusive. You know, as you think about like you said, marriage, I mean, here, family life, and this is a ministry has been around 40 plus years. Foundation is the word of God. Foundation for marriage is one man, one woman, covenant of marriage. We've always believed that.
We still believe that if there's any listeners like you still, oh yeah, of course we're there. But our kids and you know, I'm thinking a lot of us as parents, you know, a lot of churches, I pastored church and there's always that, you know, you want to be relevant to the culture and be able to speak the truth to the current culture, but the truth doesn't change. How do you help your kids understand what the Bible says and how that's not being progressive?
I would want to point out to them, what are some of the specific signs or tendencies that a progressive Christian, and I put Christian in air quotes here or a progressive church, what are some things that you need to look out for? One would be a low view of Christ. So the idea is that Christ really is not necessarily our savior because we don't really need to be saved from our sin because we don't really believe in original sin. We're all good people trying to progress, but Christ really, he's really more of our example. You know, Christ is really, you know, he loved people. He treated people well. And so therefore when you look at Christ, don't look at him as more of a savior. Look at him as more of an example for us to follow in terms of how he treated people and how he was inclusive of all people from all parts of life.
And that's another thing that you want to look for. So low view of Christ, inclusivism. This one is a huge one because oftentimes what many progressive Christians will want to do is they want to redefine what the word love means and they want to equate love with acceptance and they'll say, well, Jesus accepted everyone. Jesus loved everyone. And so therefore we should as well not realizing, as I point out in the book many times, is that yeah, Jesus does love us, but nowhere in the gospels does it teach that Jesus co-signed for their sin, right? Yeah, he accepted them for where they were with the desire to take them to where he wanted them to be, which was a fully devoted follower of Christ.
And so yes, we need to accept people where they are, but love doesn't mean we accept their whole lifestyle. Another kind of pillar of progressive Christianity would be a relaxed view on moral issues. Low view of scripture is another one, right? Just cherry picking which parts of the Bible that you want. Yeah, and I like even in the book how you literally go into some of the teaching that different churches will do or different theologies on like inclusion.
I mean, you literally say, here's where they get their argument from, from scripture, because it looks like, hey, this is what the Bible says and here's why it's wrong. And that's really helpful for a parent, especially for any one of us. But if my child is not just at a church that's maybe progressive, but he or she is now saying, I'm gay. Right. How would you respond as a parent?
Because that's happening all the time. I can't tell you how many parents have come up to me and said, Ann, I want you to talk to my son or my daughter, usually my daughter, because she says she's gay now. I'm sure there's listeners right now going, please help me because I'm navigating that reality.
Yeah. Well, that can be very, very challenging because, you know, what we want to say as parents is, hey, you know, the whole good old saying, you know, love the sinner, hate the sin. But that type of phrasing doesn't work because that person identifies with that lifestyle. And so if you say, you know, I'm going to love you, but not love your sin, then basically that, that child interprets that as, well, you don't love me then because what you think is sin is me.
I am this, I am this lifestyle. We need to communicate to our kids that no matter who they claim to be, no matter what they are, we will always love them. And if they ever need anything at all, they can always come to us as parents, no matter what they can always depend on mom and dad for anything that they need with that. We need to communicate to our kids that I love you, but my love and my reverence for God supersedes my love for you. So that means, as you know, I'm a Christian and you, you know, are going through a stage where you believe this, don't know what you believe. I believe that this is wrong. I believe that marriage is for a man and a woman. And so I won't be able to support your relationship.
We need to communicate with love and clarity to our kids what we believe and why we believe it. But then at the same time, confirm to them that this will never change my love for you. And the last thing I'll say is we need to help our kids understand that love does not mean acceptance. I can still love you, but that doesn't mean I can accept every decision that you make in your life.
And they will push back. No, you don't love me. If you don't love what I'm doing, you don't love me. So I like the calm, the composure. No, no, I do love you. I tend to be way more reactive than Dave.
He's more calm, but I think it's important. Even if your son or daughter comes like, take a moment to calm down and go be by yourself and to pray that God give me wisdom to know how to respond. But as a parent to know what the Bible says, if we don't know, man, they can persuade us. You know, the culture can throw out some scripture here and there and you can be like, oh, well, I've never thought of it like that. I love that you're saying here's the truth of God's word, but we need to respond really in a loving way.
Yeah. And let me add one other thing. Um, you know, we talk about scripture showing our kids scripture. One of the things that I think I would encourage parents to do is when we talk about telling our kids that we love them, I would say we take them to first Corinthians 13 and explain to them word for word what true love is. And we say, okay, if you don't think I love you, let's look at what the Bible says about love. Love is patient. My promise to you is I will always be patient with you. Love is kind.
I will do my best even though I don't agree with your lifestyle to always be kind. Love is patient. Love is kind. Uh, love does not boast. Love does not envy, but then point to them. Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness.
Oh yeah. Right. And my Bible says that I cannot rejoice and what I believe is unrighteousness.
Right. And so if I believe what you're doing is not right, how can I rejoice in that when the Bible says love for me is to not do that, but love never fails. Love always hopes of all. It never gives up and I will always hope for you.
I will. I will never give up on loving you. So I think as parents take them through that so that they understand that nowhere in that text does it say love is acceptance. It says love is kind. Love is patient. Love is this.
Love is that. So that hopefully they'll leave and say, okay, yeah, my parents do love me. I think as you're saying the journey for a parent or a family where this is happening in their home, I mean that is such a hard journey. And I just want to say if you're that parent, we're not making light of that.
That is a, you're laying in bed at night, you're struggling, you've tried to do the right thing their whole life. You've prayed, you've taken them to church. You probably had the family devotions. I'm not, I'm just saying we are not winking at that like, hey, just get the Bible out.
And it's like, man, it's a hard journey. But at the same time, we also know that many of us as parents don't know our Bible well enough. So when our son or daughter comes home and they're saying things, well, the Bible doesn't really mean this, the parents can be like, oh, I did, you know, next thing you know, they're like, okay, that's amazing. That's why the truth matters. And you've got to be able to interpret the word of God accurately. We're called to that. And again, not hammering your kid with that, but being able to stand on something that's true and it's been true for centuries. I'm going to love you, but I have to stand here. Well even what Alan said, like you said it, but I was thinking that is the hardest thing for a parent because you said, I love you, but my God comes first and what I believe about him, I will follow him first. I think the problem is not all of us feel that. That's right.
Yes. Because our kids, man, I get it. I love my kids so much.
I would die for them. And it's easy for our kids to become an idol because we just love them. And so when we change our theology because we love our kids so much, thinking it's the most loving thing we can do to accept their lifestyle, that makes me wonder, is God first?
Yeah. Cause no parent wants to be at odds with their kids. No parent wants their kids to not want to come over for holidays, Thanksgiving and Christmas. No parent wants to go through, oh, I haven't talked to my mom in five years and we've heard all the horror stories of parents that, you know, their kids have basically said, oh, you know, if you don't accept me, I'm not going to, you're dead to me. You know, and no parent that that's probably a greater nightmare than losing a child because your child is here, but they don't want to have anything to do with you. And that's just heartbreaking. And I think because we don't want to experience that, we kind of water down or shy away from these conversations. So I think there's gotta be a way as parents where we communicate our extreme consistent love that we're committed to you 100% your wellbeing, but we aren't able to support this.
Yeah. One of the things we've talked about on here in the past is when a parent changes their theology because of the theology of the kids changing and think about that. And that, and I don't know the exact statistic, but if I remember right, it's like seven out of 10 parents will bend their theology to sort of match cause they love their kids and they want them to be able to come home at Thanksgiving, that kind of thing. And yet what happens if that child then finds the truth? And then they come back to their parents and their parents have left where they originally were.
So they have no grounding. Yeah. What kind of example it'll be setting for our kids as well. So I mean, as hard as that is, it's like, Oh my goodness. One guest said, my parents, their theology, their walk with God was my anchor. And if they lifted the anchor and they put their anchor in me, where would I go when I was ready to repent and follow Jesus?
I thought that was really good. Yeah. And I think the tough thing here is that, I mean, you know, there's no like perfect playbook or guidebook. This is not an easy situation at all.
And of course as parents and when we have gatherings and we have, you know, holidays, we don't want to imagine our kids not being there. It's, it's not an easy situation at all. I have one of my really good friends, her husband left her and her daughter for a man. She's been on a journey for the last 10 years of forgiving him.
So for Christmas, she decided to invite her husband and his partner over for Christmas dinner. Now mind you, she said, and I want you to know how incredibly messy this is because my daughter is married and they have two kids. She said, and yet I have felt like I need to love him unconditionally and show him the gospel of what that looks like, but without condoning his lifestyle. That is just tricky and messy all over the place. And we have to be on our face before God asking him wisdom to know how to do that and what that looks like.
And to even have wise people in our lives because there haven't been generations of people that have walked through this. It's all pretty new. Yeah, it is. It is.
It really is. I mean, this type of thing. I graduated from high school in 93. So there was one kid in high school and we knew, but he didn't come out and confirm or anything, but we kind of knew. But you know, that's the day we lived in at that time and said it wasn't something that was celebrated.
It wasn't normalized. It wasn't, you know, I'm out, you know, I'm pride and things like that. It was something you kept in the closet. That's where the saying came from.
Keep it in the closet. Right. But now it's just so different. I mean, it's celebrated and everybody's out with it.
And so this is a different day. And I would also encourage parents as well to find other parents as a support group that are going through this and get wisdom from them because this isn't something that I've had to deal with. Obviously my kids are five and seven and I pray that I never do, but there's parents out there that have and are currently dealing with it and I'm sure they can provide wisdom. Yeah. And I just say, thanks for what you do. I mean, you're currently right where our kids are living on YouTube. I mean, you decided I'm going to go where they are and not just kids, but every one of us and say, I want to bring the truth to that, that vehicle.
Right. That was one of the things that I was excited about was we're living in a time where, you know, a lot of people don't go to church anymore or they go to church and not comfortable asking pastors of different questions. So when they go, they have a question, they go to Google or they go to YouTube. That's this generation.
Hey, you know, should I, you know, should I live together with my girlfriend or boyfriend? And they don't ask their pastor. So I wanted to create a channel or a ministry that would address this generation with some of the questions that they have, which is why I have a lot of questions on my channel because I know that people have these questions and they need to have a biblical worldview to have these questions addressed. Yeah. Way to go. Well done. Thanks Alan. Thank you. I love the spirit of going to where people are and the next generation are in places like YouTube.
So why not go there and be part of the solution? I love that Alan is doing that with intentionality and purpose. I'm Shelby Abbott and you've been listening to Dave and Anne Wilson with Alan Parr on Family Life Today. Alan's written a book called Misled, Seven Lies That Distort the Gospel and How You Can Discern the Truth.
You can get your copy of Alan's book by going online right now to familylifetoday.com or you could check it out in the show notes or feel free to give us a call at 800-358-6329 to request your copy. Again, that number is 800-F as in family, L as in life, and then the word today. You know, it's the month of August and we have a goal to raise $250,000 in new funds by the end of this month. And we would love it if you would partner with us to help reach marriages and families all over the country and consequently all over the world. You could do that, really make your mark by partnering with Family Life. If you feel the call to give and be a part of this ministry, that's great.
If you don't, that's totally fine too. There's plenty of other places that you can give and be a part of the solution with those ministries. But if Family Life has helped you at all, if Family Life Today has been a part of your regular routine where you listen and God has used it to really impact your life and the life of your family, we'd love it if you jump in and be partners with us. You can go online to familylifetoday.com and make your donation there or you can give us a call at 800-F as in family, L as in life, and then the word today. Or you can feel free to drop a donation in the mail if you'd like.
Our address is Family Life, 100 Lakehart Drive, Orlando, Florida 32832. And thank you so much for partnering with us to make this ministry possible. Now tomorrow, how do you age with purpose and with vitality?
Well, that's a good question to ask depending on your stage of life. And Dennis and Barbara Rainey are going to be here with the Wilsons to talk about that and so much more about following Jesus in your later life. We hope you'll join us for that. On behalf of David and Wilson, I'm Shelby Abbott. We'll see you back next time for another edition of Family Life Today. Family Life Today is a donor-supported production of Family Life, a crew ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.
