You know, I've realized I'm kind of picky when it comes to Bible translations. Yeah, you are, because you're the guy that underlines half the page and then argues with the footnotes. And I'm a good arguer. But, you know, I care about two things, faithfulness to the original text and just being able to read it without feeling like I'm reading a dictionary. Which is why we're grateful for the support of the Christian Standard Bible.
The CSB was created to be accurate and readable, helping people engage God's word with confidence and clarity. And it's sponsors like the CSB that help make this podcast possible. To learn more, visit csbible.com. Fine. My father's line was always the same.
I said, Dad. Can I go to this? Yeah. And in certain cases he would say, Yeah, sure. Other cases he would say, Well, you can go.
But without my blessing. And Looking back on it, it was genius, really. But he could only play that card. If I cared about his blessing.
Now, why would I care about his blessing? Because I love my dad. Fathers cannot play that card unless they've built that relationship. Welcome to Family Life Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Ann Wilson.
And I'm Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifetoday.com. This is Family Life today. Uh All right, we've got Alistair Bag in the studio, and we're gonna make him do something that we didn't even prepare him for. We're gonna have him coach us. On how to Deal with the culture pressures that we are raising our families in.
We are facing the wind. Our face is being pushed against in the wind right now as meaning our families. Families, individual believers, as Christians in the world we're living in right here, right now. Yeah. We're fighting through the wind.
What do you mean by that? The Christian is an alien and a stranger. We know that. But I used to read that, you know, in 1 Peter and say, I wonder what it feels like to be an alien and a stranger. Because my growing up years were.
In a Scotland that still hadn't gone crazy. And my early years in America were still, there was still the sort of residual impact of some of those great days. I mean, when's the last time you saw 100,000 people in the cotton ball in Dallas singing there's only one way, one God, one book, and it's the Holy Bible? I mean, yeah, there's a lot of good things going on, but life has changed. The fabric of the culture has just frayed dramatically.
And so the children that we are raising are growing up in a world that you and I never experienced. They are part and parcel of a culture that we are largely observers of rather than participants in. We've essentially, I think we've lived in my lifetime from the 60s, I was born in the 50s, but from the 60s, we've lived through an immoral revolution, an immoral revolution that has literally turned Western culture upside down. And the children of the George has Perhaps in some measure managed to identify it. In many cases, I think it's caught us broadsided.
I would have to confess the fact that. I felt that way because I had an educational system that was framed by a biblical worldview. I was naive to think that my children were actually in public education being framed by the same kind of worldview that I had. I was very strong about the absolute necessity of making sure that our children are not sequestered away from the world in which they live and so on. I've changed my mind entirely on that now because the wind has blown just straight in our faces in relationship to.
Everything and not least of all family life.
So much so that if you've got a mom and a dad and children, a mom and a dad that love each other, that live through the ups and the downs and support one another, that show their children that they are not perfect people, that they are sinners who depend on the grace of God, and so can then act in a spirit of. Wise compassion in relationship to their children as they try and figure things out. And when you put that together with all of its ups and downs and ins and outs, and then you take that out into a restaurant and you find that the family are actually engaged with one another in conversation, that they're not alone while they're together, they're actually engaged. Parents have got to really get a hold of this. I've got it now with my grandchildren, and I'm watching to see.
You know, my oldest grandchild, she's tall, she's cute. She wants a phone like crazy. And I'm saying to my daughter, I wouldn't touch it, I wouldn't do it. Why not?
Well, because I'm just observing. It seems to me that. Children at the present time, they're more influenced, I think, by their peers and by social media. Than we actually realize. It's naive of us to assume that they can imbibe all of that stuff, take it into their little psyches, their little forming brains, as they try and put together all the elements of their life.
It's a wonderful opportunity for Christian families. to show A decaying culture. That God's way is actually best. You know, I can't fix anything and I'm very slow in putting anything together. It's like I get something out of a box, it's got makers' instructions.
And no, don't worry, let's just get the thing started, you know. And we get it halfway through, and I realize, well, that's why we had instructions. What we've really done is we've just taken the maker's instructions, which are given for us for life. And we set them on a side. And our culture is bearing testimony to that.
So we have a privileged responsibility to say, no, we're going to go with the Maker's instructions. We need to say to young people, you want an adventure? We've got an adventure for you. This is no story for wimps, this is a challenge. Jesus is presenting the challenge and Jesus is also promising the resources to face up to the challenge.
You know, fall is when small groups start back up. No, fall is when football starts.
Well, small groups start back up too. And if you're a group leader, You've been thinking about pulling some couples together for a marriage or family study. I hope you're thinking that. And this really is the best time of year to grab materials. Yeah, I mean, you can get them right now through the end of August at Family Life.
All the workbooks for our small groups are 25% off at familylife.com/slash shop. And there's no discount code needed. You just go there. You can pick from like the art of marriage or the art of parenting or vertical marriage. They're all video studies and the workbooks are included.
And I'm telling you what, you want to be a part of a group. It's phenomenal to watch God work in your family room. And it's so easy. It's plug and play. Yeah.
And I feel like we've done almost all of these studies. You guys, they're so good. And it's hard thinking like, what can we do this year? We have the answer for you and it's on sale. We've got you covered.
25% off at familylife.com/slash shop. Alistair, as I look at families, and you probably see this too, they're overwhelmed. They're overwhelmed with the culture. They're overwhelmed with the pressure of the culture pushing in on their kids with, as you said, social media, all the things that are going on. Parents are tired, you know, they're stressed.
So, if you're talking to a young family who they want to walk with Jesus, but they feel overwhelmed, where do they even start? Part of it is at a very p practical level is I watch even my own family. I don't know how you do all this stuff. Where is, and I don't, I'm not using names that I have, but you know, where is Joe? Oh, he's at swim practice.
Where is Mabel? Oh, Mabel's doing her violin lesson.
Well, who's picking up Sam from the school?
Well, that's the thing. It's like, guys. First of all, your kid is not going to play violin for the Cleveland Orchestra. Let's just back off there right now, okay? And I've seen him try to hit a baseball, and he's a good boy and everything, but there's no point investing your life in this.
But you better invest your life in making sure that they understand who Jesus is, why he came, why the Bible is important, and even foundational things like. Reading The Bible together. And I don't mean reading the whole of 1 Chronicles before they go to school. I mean, even a verse to take out into the day, whatever that might be, and assuring them of the Father's love for them and his interest in them and all these things. But part of it is that our children have grown up in a really Culture that is demanding the most of everybody all the time.
And church life doesn't always help that either. People talk about if you're going to be committed, it means this and it means this and it means it. Goodness gracious, you know. How about just letting people relax a little bit here and not adding the further stress? I don't have the answers to it all, but I'm certainly alert to the challenges of it.
We need to equip. Guys, men to be men in their homes, first of all. That there is leadership, that there is a willingness. to be The bad guy. be that.
to be able to say to your kids, Look, I love you, but you're not my friend. You're my son. And because I am your dad, this is how this has to be. God's way is right. And we just need to just believe God.
So the challenge Is a challenge, the opportunity is a great opportunity. Yeah, so as people of the book, you know, we're Christ followers, so we're people of the book. That makes us bad guys. Yeah. How do we navigate that?
Well, we've got to be good bad guys. Here's one: I'm playing golf in California. Long time ago now, I'm put with a group of guys that I don't know. We set off on this thing And almost immediately, the jokes were We're filthy. I mean, just naive and marginal.
We get on a 15, we have to wait. Guy says, Hey, Alistair, what do you do? I said, Well, I'm I'm actually a pastor of a church. It's a stony silence. One of the guys says, So how's business?
I said business is really good. I said, 'Cause there's no shortage of sinners as I think you can see.
Okay?
So it was kind of like a little bit of laughter, but not a lot. We all tee off. I'm out. And of course, guy comes, we guy who was the main joke guy, comes flying across in his golf cart, pulls up beside me, goes, I don't like what you said out there. He says, You you're calling me a sinner.
He says, you don't understand. He says, I I'm only. Telling jokes. That sinners tell, I mean, I'm just telling their jokes, you understand? He says, because I'm not a sinner.
Mm-hmm. I said, well, I'm delighted to meet you. I said, because there's only one other person that I've heard of in the entire history of humanity that was prepared to make that claim.
Well, the guy is so crazy. He goes, and who was that? I said, Well, that was Jesus of Nazareth. He says, Well, if you got it, bring that stuff up And then he got in his cart and drove off again. When we got in the clubhouse, I said, You know, you got really fried out there, didn't you?
He said, Yeah, I did. I didn't like that. I said, Well, do you know how I know so much about sinners? He said, No. I said, Well, because every morning when I shave, I see one in the mirror.
He says, Well, you're not a sinner, you're a pastor. I said, no, I'm a sinful pastor. People don't understand that.
So to be able to hold the line. And yet to do it in a way that is Winsome. Or you know, humor is a is a great vehicle, not telling jokes, but just not taking ourselves too seriously. I mean some uh husbands or fathers have you know, they're just driving the thing and just driving their kids Under the table, you know, it's a hard line. You know, my dad's line with me when I was, I mean, I'm 15, 16, I'm living in Yorkshire.
Either I realized what a sheltered background I had in that I had never been to a movie, and the first movie that I managed to convince my people it was okay to go and see was the Ten Commandments.
Okay. They finally relented on that. Followed up by. The sound of music or whatever whatever it was, okay? Yeah.
But you know, I went to the equivalent of Woodstock, which was the Isle of Wight Festival in Britain. And I I went to see Yes, and I went to see Prokal Harum, and I went all those things. And my father's line was always the same. I said, Dad. Can I go to this?
Yeah. And in certain cases he would say, Yeah, sure. Other cases he would say.
Well you can go. But without my blessing. And Looking back on it, it was genius, really. But you only he could only play that card. If I cared about his blessing.
Now, why would I care about his blessing? Because I love my dad. Because I know that what he's saying, even when I push it back against it, he's saying it for my good. He's not trying to screw my life up.
So fathers can all. They can't play that card unless they've built that Relationship. And that can be done spending more time with an exercise bag at the gym. To the expense of being with your kids when they go to bed at night.
Some of the best times just lying. on the bed beside My kids We did too. Saying nothing except allowing them to say what they were saying and then responding to it. With my girls, when guys are coming around. And I mean, I can remember these conversations like they happened yesterday.
Are you going to you know, this guy is he's got long hair, he's he's French, he's rides bicycles, he's this, he's that, he's all of those things. And I want to spend a lot of time with him. And I'm saying, Yeah, but you know, he doesn't know Jesus, he doesn't love Jesus. And she says, Yeah, yeah, but I can win him over. I say, Yeah, no, but no, you I don't think you can.
And besides, I don't want you to do that. Then we have the tears. Then I say to her, Do you know anybody in the entire world apart from your mom? That loves you as much as I love you. She said no.
I said, then answer me, why would I? Do anything. to hurt you or to harm you. Yeah. Trust me, I'm your dad.
Now that doesn't come out of a vacuum because if we have been so heavy-handed with our children as to create resentment in them, then they'll just tell you, Get the heck out of my bedroom, slam the door on you. Yeah, and you're gonna have to find some other way to get back in there.
So it's a lot of work, it's a lot of efforts, a lot of prayer, and it's not finished yet. It's never finished. I thought when they got out of the house and went to university, this is done. Yeah, no, they're our children forever. Yeah, forever.
So we still pray. And then we add the list: the grandchildren. I'm driving in the car home from church the other day. I've got four of my grandchildren in the car, and the boy, amongst four girls, he says to his older sister, he says, Leona, How old will you be when I'm thirteen? She says, I'll be 20.
He said twenty? How can you be twenty? She says, Well, you'll be thirteen. And then they had this big conversation about, you know, the passage of time and what would that be like and everything. He realized that their tiny little lives are going to be framed by something.
And The wind is blowing full on in our faces. Do we have the courage as parents and grandparents to hold the line for the truth of the word of God? Do we believe in our heart of hearts in a way that transfers through the generations? As for God, His way is perfect. My mantra now is Psalm 71.
O God, from my youth you have taught me. and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds.
So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come. That's our role now. That's it. It's got to be. That's what you're doing here.
That's what you're doing on this program. You're passing it from one generation to the next. And it's fantastic and it's necessary.
So. Stay focused. Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting you picked that passage because your favorite well, it was one of Dennis Rainey's. Oh, was it really?
Yeah, I mean, it's a legacy of family life. Yeah. Well, they're in a sense, you know, this generation to the next to the next. Yeah. And you're sitting here bringing that up because that's how powerful.
A Christian family can be in this culture. And Dennis would say this, and we agree, and have said it ever since. You know, the family is one of the strongest evangelistic tools we have. There's two things to our neighbors. A well-conducted Sunday by Sunday service, and a family that is prepared.
to live by The maker's instructions. That's great. That's powerful.
Well, it makes me think of. Matthew 10, 16, when Jesus was sending the disciples out two by two, and he said to them, I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore, be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. And that is a word for our day. It is.
Like as we go out, and I'm thinking about our homes. I'm thinking about how many kids we had on our homes as our kids were growing up, their friends and I'm telling you, and it's even more so now. These kids are looking for a place that they're seen, that they're loved. They want truth. They don't want it shoved in their face in a judgmental, kind of unappealing way.
They just want the gospel, which is the good news for everyone. And it comes with this grace and unconditional love of just listening to a story. Talk about a platform. Our kids like bring their kids in, bring their friends in the door because we can love them and listen to them because it's a crazy culture. And who knows what's going on in their homes?
But to see a good marriage and a family that feels like, man, there's joy here. There's security here. There's truth here. Yeah. We've just adopted a young lady as her aunt and uncle.
You know, she comes out of a background that her parents, I don't know if they were ever married, but she's an only child. She's been in prison for the last year and a half, and she's now out. It's just the very thing you're saying. That's now she's, for the first time, she sees the way, at least, some small negative of of what the full technique colour picture is supposed to look like in terms of a husband and a wife and a and a family that that functions. No, it's it's she's thrilled to bits.
It's amazing.
Well, every time we see somebody born again by the Spirit of God, we realize this is just this is fantastic. I mean, this is something that God has done. And it really is something that God has done. It always is, of course, because only God can open blind eyes. Only God can soften hard hearts.
Paul writes and he says, Do you not realize that God's kindness would lead you to repentance? the kindness of God, a a God who, despite the fact that we are rebels, comes to seek us out and goes to such lengths in order to put us back together again. This is the story we have, and we need to you know let the culture go where it's going. I mean, we're there's no point in going to stick your finger in all the the holes in the dam right now. We just have to go Yeah.
wisely, courageously And tell the story that we've been given to tell. Trust God. Yeah. The middleman on the cross and going viral. What's that all about?
Well. That was at in Dallas, you know, at a seminary thing. Oh, it was? The man on the middle cross, you know. The angel interviews him.
It's all fiction, of course, but I mean, were you a member of a church? No. And were you baptized? No. You were in a home bio study group?
No, no, no.
So, what are you doing here?
Well, I don't know. I said, I don't know.
Well, I'm going to get my supervisor, you know.
So, you get the supervising angel. He comes. Yeah, so what's going on? The other guy told me about it. He said, So, let's just get straight to it.
On what basis are you here? Yeah. Or the man on the middle cross told me I can come. That's all any of us are going to say. Yeah.
That's it. My hope is built on nothing less Than Jesus' blood and righteousness, and dare not trust the sweetest frame. But holy lead on Jesus' name. That's it. That's what we want at the center of our lives.
and at the heart of our families. Uh You know, as I think about what Alistair was talking about family. I wish we would have had family life today when we first got married. Have you ever thought about that? It wasn't available then.
No. And so we had Family Life, the Ministry. We had the Weekend Remember, but we didn't have a daily. Program that gave us daily input on how to be a husband, a wife, a mom, a dad, a Christian home, and a Christian family. And we were clueless.
I'm thinking if I would have listened to Alistair when we were younger, that would have impacted me. And what Alistair just did, that was like gold, wasn't it? Is just somebody that's looking back and looking forward. It gives you a real Foundation to build your life on, which is Jesus. It's building your life on wisdom.
Yeah. Wisdom from the Word of God. And I would just say, guess what? We now do have family life today that's in. people's homes and cars and phones every single Day giving them input from the Word of God to say, here's how God designed the family, and we want to give you wisdom to lead that way.
And I just want to say. We believe this is critical in these days. The wind is in our face, and we need to be strong and courageous to go forward and know how to do that.
So I've just. I'm not inviting you, I'm challenging you to say, you know what? Instead of just listening, be a partner with us, be a financial partner. which means you decide I'm going to give whatever amount monthly to be a monthly partner of family life and say I want this ministry to not just impact me but impact my neighbors and the only way that happens is people like you saying I'm in. I'm not just a spectator.
I'm playing. I'm getting on the field and I'm playing and I'm giving and I'm giving to family life and I want to make a difference and you will make a difference. We need you. And again, his book is called The Christian Manifesto, Jesus' Life-Changing Words from the Sermon on the Plain. And you know what the plane is.
Sometimes we call it the mount, but it's the plane.
Okay, you can get your copy by clicking the link in the show notes at familylefttoday.com. Family Life Today is a donor-supported production of Family Life, a crew ministry, celebrating 50 years of God's faithfulness as marriages grow stronger and families flourish in Him. Yeah.
