Faith without works is dead. And so I think getting into service and being in a body in the church and serving there. And also, whatever you do, do it for God's glory because God wants to use your time, your effort, everything to share his word. And you can do it creatively. Welcome to Family Life Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most.
I'm Ann Wilson. And I'm Dave Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifetoday.com. This is Family Life Today. All right, so we've got the Cronkites, Jonathan and Carrie. What I wrote down that we're going to talk about.
Hopefully this is okay with you guys is you know making God real to your kids. Yeah. Is that where we want to go? But before we do that, I thought it'd be interesting. There's a lot of our listeners or you know people even watching on YouTube that have never been on the cruise.
Oh. And you guys just got off the cruise. In fact, you talk to us in the ballroom or the auditorium, whatever you want to call it. What do you think of the cruise? If you're like listening and you've never been on it.
Would you say go on it? You think it's good? What do you think? We've already talked like, how many couples into going on? Yeah, we've got three or four friends already signed up that are coming.
Oh, good. And this was your first one? This was the first one. What did you like? What was good?
It was an amazing atmosphere. The atmosphere is completely different from past cruises that we've been on. I mean, because everything is uplifting, encouraging, God-honoring. The entertainment, the musicians, the speaking. And then what, you know, even better was people like you coming and speaking and really encouraging, equipping, and inspiring us as married folks.
Yeah. It's really a great, great week. I thought all the speakers were incredible. And, you know, usually when you attend, or maybe we haven't been to one in too long, but like the speakers usually are like, look at me. I'm perfect.
I've got it all together, you know, and you should be like me. Me, kind of thing. And you're like, you know, can't do that. But I felt like everyone was so real and authentic and shared their weaknesses, their struggles, and connected with us.
So it's like, wait, like I even y'all said that from the stage. If they can do it, then we can do it kind of thing. Right.
So that was encouraging. I think the thing that's unique about it, too, is you can go to a weekend to remember getaway, which are phenomenal. And we would recommend anybody to do that. But when you have time to process with your spouse, you're on the cruise seven days. And that can feel like a long time to people.
But in the sun. In the sun. Process in the sun. Generally, you go home to a chaotic home where kids are, you know, your life is crazy. You get back to work.
This gives you a little time to have fun, to laugh, to tour, to dance. We had so much fun with the ballroom dancing. Yeah, we have lessons that you can take. Yeah, we went to a lesson. And so, but you have time.
Like, hey, what did you think of that? And you. You don't always have that in just race. All right, that's enough of a okay. That's good.
Go to familylifetoday.com and we'll have a link there to sign up for the Love Like Amita Cruise. And it's almost sold out. I mean, it really is.
So you want to do it.
Okay, let's talk. Why do you have this passion for making God real to your kids?
So, and every Christian parent I know, this is what we want to do. We are hoping and praying that God can be real to our kids when they're toddlers all the way through adult. And you have a passion to help disciple parents. Yes.
So our listeners are like, oh, this is me. Like, help us, help disciple us.
Well, the passion came from being a student pastor for like 15 years at this point. And I went on a quest. I went on a quest that if I'm going to do this for my life, I want to be the best and most effective for reaching kids for Christ to become, you know, and that they continue to be Christ followers. I just. Asked myself, okay, to be the most effective, I need to focus on what's most effective.
So, what's most effective? Was it, you know, one-on-one discipleship? Mission trips, retreats, you know, Sunday school youth group, parents. I mean, what is it, frankly, that I'm doing that's most effective, and I need to do that? And so I made a list of those things and the list of the kids that we had known.
We now know kids who are. pretty old, w when they were just, you know, twelve years old when they were in our program. But so I made that list of those kids that are lifelong, you know, adult that are adults that are following the Lord. And I found the common denominator. And the common denominator.
Wasn't anything I was doing. As a youth pastor. As a student pastor, yes. The common denominator from with all those kids that had a lifelong faith in the Lord was that they had parents who effectively lived out. their faith at home.
They prayed together, made God real, a part of daily life, read the word together, and just uh authentically Made God a part of everything at home. Jonathan, we saw the same thing at our church because we started our church. I think we were both in our early 30s. I think I was 30 actually. We did the same thing as the church got older.
We're watching these students, these kids, of what's happening with their faith as they get older. And we're asking those same questions: why are these kids so on fire for Jesus? What's going on? And we discovered the exact same thing. It's the home that's making the difference.
So, what's that home doing? You mentioned several things, but I mean, sometimes as parents, we think, oh, they had the right curriculum or they did the right Bible studies or devotionals. You know, or they didn't go to public school. I mean, is it all that of the above? I mean, every family wants to be that home.
Right.
Coach them up. I don't want to speak for my wife, but I'm not the perfect parent. Neither am I. We wrote a book called No Perfect Parents. There aren't any.
There aren't any. There aren't any. So we know that. We actually have on our website a list of home impressions, things that you can do, things that parents can easily do to make God a priority and known in the home. Our greatest passion is teaching families how to do things.
Probably one of the the two most important things would be praying together and reading God's Word. Carrie and I came up with an acronym for pray. Pray is praise. R is for repent, A is ask for others, And why would be ask for yourself.
So P finished the sentence: God, you are. And then they would finish the sentence with an adjective for God. We even, I think we still have on our website just a printout of adjectives that describe who God is. And our repent, God forgive me for.
So when we go around and we're doing this as a family, We want kids to acknowledge that they've got faults and they are in need of forgiveness.
So you would do that out loud. We would do this out loud and go around the table or couch, whatever we were sitting down. I mean, is this happening when they're five years old and when they're 15? Babies.
So our little tiny ones would have a little rock in their hand. And while we're asking for others, you know, that's when they would use their rock. And people are like, wait, where'd the rock come in? Yeah, what's the rock? They've got a rock in their hand.
Our boys are going to throw it. No, right. We've got another brother. I know. That's what a friend of mine, Barkley, said.
I can't use rocks. My boys will be throwing them and breaking windows and breaking heads.
So we got P for praise, God, you are. R, repent, God, forgive me for. A, ask for others. And then we'll come back to the prayer rocks after that, but that's when we would use the rocks. And then why ask for others?
For yourself. Because we want our kids to be thinking about others. We want them to be others-centered. We want them to, you know, not only be asking God for their things and their needs. We want them to be sensitive to the needs of others.
So that's our acronym, very simple, very easy. We would go around the table, and the family would do it, and they would do it in that order. It was known and easy and yet meaningful. And so. That's what we still do.
I mean, did you continue that into like high school years? Yeah, yeah. Still use them. And we always start with him.
So he goes first, and then we go in birth order, you know, oldest to youngest. And then if there's friends or guests, they would join in after the youngest child. And then I always finish. Do you have friends do this when they're over? Yeah.
Yeah. We kind of fill them in on our format and what we do so they feel more comfortable. How often do you do it? That changes based on the week and the year. Yeah.
But when our kids were young, life I thought was hard, right? But it was actually easier. I mean, we would do it on a daily basis. Really? Yeah.
And we don't want to put that kind of pressure on parents who are listening to this. If they don't do this on a regular basis, because the point is the goal is, and I'll keep saying it, to connect their hearts with God. God's. Nothing does that better, I think, than praying together, putting a prayer request on a rock and seeing God at work, seeing God answer prayer. That's what I think.
Did youth ministry for a long time, and I really think kids grow up and grow out of their faith because they're not seeing God at work.
So how did you come up with the rock?
Well, you know, we were working at a church, and you know how when you're at church, you're talking to people and they're like telling you about things that are going on in their life and you're like, oh, I'll pray for you. And then you leave and I go back home. And then the next Sunday, we're coming into church. And as we're driving into the parking lot, I'm like, oh. I had told so-and-so I was going to pray for them and I forgot, you know, and I'm like, that's so bad.
I've got to think of a way, you know, to remember to pray for these people. And so I was like, I need something visual because I'm a very visual person, as are a lot of people. I'm like, I need it right in front of me because I had a journal. And I would write the prayer requests in a journal and the answered prayers in the back of the journal. But then, you know, it's kind of out of sight, out of mind.
And so we ended up, you know, messing around with different things, even like popsicle sticks. We'd write like prayer requests and put them in a canister. And you can really do anything, and that's nice when you're like traveling or something. But um we wanted something that would be Prettier and a monument of sorts. We came up with, I guess that was the craze of the painting of the rocks, and people were putting rocks everywhere.
I'm like, well, let's write it on a rock. He was looking up scripture about it and read Joshua. Joshua chapter 4. This is really cool. To refresh our memory, Joshua's leading the Israelites into the promised land.
They come to the Jordan River. God stops the Jordan River from flowing. The ark goes in. Everybody goes out. And then God says to Joshua: get 12 guys.
Go back to where the ark is and grab a rock. Put it on your shoulder.
So it's a big rock. Bring it out. place it here and it's gonna be a memorial. Yeah. God says um And he said to the people of Israel, When your children ask their fathers in times to come, what do these stones mean?
Then you shall let your children know: Israel passed over this Jordan on dry ground. The Lord your God dried up the waters of the Jordan until you passed over, as the Lord your God did the Red Sea, which he dried up for us until we passed over, so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the Lord is mighty and that you may fear the Lord your God.
So, this visual reminder, and so that's what we use prayer rocks for. We write prayer requests on rocks, they're a visual reminder, so we'll keep them on in a bowl on the dining room table. They got just one word on them, but when we pray, we pass those out to our kids, whoever's praying with us. And sometimes my sister and niece are with us. And we use those rocks as reminders to pray for other people.
in things that are going on. And the cool thing is, when God answers that prayer, it then goes into our memorial, which right now is in our hallway around the kitchen.
So every time our kids go to the kitchen, Which is a lot there. Yeah, of course. You know, so they've grown up. With seeing A reminder of God's faithfulness, of God's power, of God's being, of God being at work in our families' lives.
So, you have like a memorial in your hallway? What's it in? It graduated into something bigger than this right here, but it's in a huge platter. It even has a bowl in the center of it because we're overflowing.
So, we've been doing this for years.
So, for listeners who may want to do this and get started, I want to very easy to get started because you could gather the family together and just ask, what are Prayer requests that God has already answered. and think about those, and then they're going to be challenged. Because we forget. And it creates a heart of gratitude, too. Like, look at what God has done.
I think one of the reasons I like it, I was just telling our crew this, is. I'm a very visual person too. And I think I see as. God was appointing and telling the Israelites to do certain things. He used a lot of symbolism and reminders.
You know, if you look at Deuteronomy 6, and you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you're at home, when you're on the road, when you're going to bed, and when you're getting up. This is the part two: tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders.
Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. And I don't know if you guys been to Israel? No. That's next. It was remarkable to me to go over to see Orthodox Jewish men on the plane going over.
And I'm like, what are they doing? I had never seen these prayer boxes on their heads. And I even wrote it down. It's called a tefalin. I'm probably saying that wrong.
But they have scripture in it. They put it on their head and then they tie that also around their arms. And then when they go in their house, there's something called a mezusa that they put on the doorposts of their house as they enter in. They touch it. And in this little, it's just this little scroll-looking thing inside.
They have actual scripture of this verse. But you see how it's all symbolism? Remember the tassels on their robes. It's remembering. To me, this is all about that.
You're creating a way for your kids to visually be reminded, God is faithful. Yes.
He's with us. Maybe we need to bring your memorial out of the backyard into the house. She's got one in the backyard. I haven't heard very many people that have done this before either.
So I was so intrigued that you guys are doing the same. Thing. My friend Michelle and I would fast and pray for our kids one day a week. And we ended up in my favorite woods by our house. I have a woods, I go, I pray, I sit there a lot, spend time with God.
But on this day, Michelle was with me. I'm like, let's write down our prayers and take these rocks as symbols of what we're praying for for our kids. And so we planted these. Rocks with our kids. She has three girls.
We have three boys. I started going more and more often to that place, laying down these rocks, asking God for things. And I would write them down too, but mine were outside, so it washed away. Even the permanent washed away. I like yours way better.
Can you remember a time where your kids, their prayer, was answered? And you could like they were excited. I don't agree with God necessarily on this answered prayer, but so we had 12 puppies. I don't know if you've ever read the tribe of Israel. All right.
So we had 12 puppies. I'll try to keep this short, but we had 12 puppies, and we had mom and dad.
So, dad puppy was our son, 19-year-old now, Josh, his dog.
Well, of course, Bethany, who was like 10 at the time, wanted to keep one of the puppies. And we said no. We cannot have another dog in this house, another big dog.
So we said, as soon as Blue moves out, which was Josh's dog, we will buy you a puppy, but we cannot do it now. And she helped so much with these puppies.
So you keep praying about this. And so she wrote on a prayer rock puppies. And um so Josh moves out. Six months ago. Yeah.
So she didn't forget. And I'm like, Carrie, you know, is there I will do anything. I will pay anything. Like, like we do not need another dog, you know. But God was faithful to Bethany.
So, um So we get a call one day. It's been a year since the puppies have been had found new owners. This family had this dog, this puppy, for a year. and said we c we can't keep it. Will you take it back?
And, you know, grudgingly, I was like, Bethany? God answered your prayer. There it is.
Now we have two dogs. Oh my goodness. What about when prayers aren't answered the way you want? Like we both share some stories that, like, look what God did. And a lot of our listeners are thinking, I prayed for years and God didn't answer it the way I wanted.
What do you do with that with your kids and family?
Well, we've had deaths, you know, amongst friends and family members, and we were praying for healing. And then, you know, we do, we put it in the answer prayer because they are healed, you know, they're with the Lord. And so we talked to our kids about that. My sister, her family had a horrible loss of their daughter, my niece, and and even my sister, who obviously every single day hurts, you know, as a result of it, she's even said, I can see how God has worked Good from this. And my faith is so much stronger.
My husband's faith is so much stronger. Every day is more meaningful, you know, as a result of what happened and the loss that they had. And so we talk about those things so that the kids can see: yes, it's tragic, it's horrible, but you know, there is good, there's always fruit. And growth. Yeah.
God always answers yes, no, maybe. Not yet. You know, can we trust God? you know, in the midst of Not answering the prayers we think he should answer the way we think he should. I mean, maybe you've already answered this, but.
As a youth pastor, and but more importantly, as parents, because every Christian parent is asking the same question: how do I help my little boys and girls? As they moved through the middle school and then teenage years, adult years, how do I help them walk with God? You said it already. Do you think it is praying to get? You know, of all the things, if somebody said, I need three.
We're the top three. We've already talked about praying together. I really think praying together and seeing God at work, experiencing God at home, and not just hearing about the answered prayers from church, you know, and in other places. And I think doing devotions together. I remember when our kids were, you know, four, six, eight, ten, and they're crawling all over me and sitting on my lap, and one's behind me on the couch.
And we tried every morning before I went to ministry to do ministry in my own home and read a Bible story. And we were very consistent with that.
So, I mean, those are two of the most important things.
So, the word and prayer. I would say, like, you know, faith without works is dead. And so, I think getting into service and being in a body and in the church and serving there. And also, whatever gifts or talents that you have, using them for God's glory. And so, like, our 12-year-old, the spoiled one, she's an Arielist.
And so, she does. Like aerial. We have a niece that's doing that. Yeah. Like the circle delay stuff.
And so I'm like, I'm fine with doing this. I have to drive back and forth to the gym all the time and that kind of thing. I go, but we're doing it for God's glory. She. Takes it on the road and we go to like assisted living places and she we bring a portable one and we share the gospel and and she does it to worship music and we she plays the violin and all that kind of stuff too.
But we do really they should get a good idea to go to an assisted living because she's using her gift to serve. And we hand out tracks, the kids color, you know, but I take my homeschool co-op. There's like nine or ten kids in the group right now. But I teach the kids, whatever you do, do it for God's glory because God wants to use your time, your effort, everything to share his word. And you can do it creatively.
You know, it doesn't have to be just from a pulpit or whatever that we're sharing the love of Christ. And these people love it and they love having these kids come. And then the kids afterwards, I send them out, you know, amongst the people, the residents. You know, they shared the little tracks that they colored and they talked to them and they prayed for them and they hugged them. That's really cool.
I love it. It's getting their eyes off of themselves. Yes.
I mean, in some ways, it's what we model more than what we say. And what y everything you just said, you're not. Like, I got to do this so my kids walk with God. It's your life, it's what you're doing personally and as a couple with God. And it isn't like I have to find a Devo to It's coming out of my own lock, right?
It's an overflow, and kids smell that, they know. If this is, oh, they talked about this at church Sunday and now dad is leading us in a thing. It's like, no, this is who he is. This is who she is. This is an overflow of their own walk with God spilling over into the family room.
Yeah. Well, that's why the scripture, the command is love God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind. Right.
Then impress these on your children. Right.
Exactly. It's on us first. We used to call it car time, table time, and bed. Bedtime. Oh, that's cute.
Because they're just natural places to be talking about God during the day and as we go about our day. Yeah. And we don't have to be perfect. We just have to show up spiritually for our kids. I get a lot of one-on-one time with Bethany, which is fun.
I mess up a lot in front of her. And I think it's been great because. I get a chance to repent and to tell her I'm sorry. You know, mom didn't mean to say that, do that. You know, I shouldn't have gotten upset about that.
You know, will you forgive me? And, you know, the neat thing is, is she's one of the most, you know, I don't know, quickest to repent kids. You know, she'll be like, oh, I'm really sorry, mom. I didn't mean to do that. And I think that me admitting my faults and bringing them out on the table where everybody can see them.
Like with the repent on the prayer rocks, you know, it helps kids to see we need a savior. And we're not perfect. Yeah. And it's okay. Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, when you were saying that, I was thinking, she's just doing what she's seen. You know, faith is caught, not taught. She's catching it. Yeah. It is your life.
Yeah. You know, some of us thinking, you know, how old's your oldest? 25? 25. And that's the one that's married?
No, the 23-year-old. She'd bring him next year on the cruise on a Love Like Community Cruise. We talked to them about it. Yeah, I mean, a lot of, we met a lot of, you know, families on the cruise. They brought their kids.
They're adult kids.
Some of them paid for them. They said, you're coming on this cruise because it's as good as a weekend remember, only it's longer. Yeah. And like we said earlier.
So again, I'm just plugging the cruise. If you guys want to sign up, go to familylifetoday.com. We'll get you signed up. Yeah, and seven days feels like a lot. I'm like, what are we going to do for seven days?
Seven days gone. Yeah. Six days. We're like, oh, we have to leave. It's over already.
I know. You guys, this has been really good and helpful. Yeah, you're going to help a lot of families. Yeah. Thank you.
You should start a Hobby Lobby rock cylinder. Yeah. Because I'm not kidding. And I don't know. We haven't talked.
I'm literally listening to you thinking I was going in through my house. Where do we put this? Good. And I think near the front door, maybe in our framework. I don't know.
It's like you buy it.
Somewhere you go buy it a lot. Right.
And you want other people to see it. And you want all the kids, obviously, to see it. We're done with the woods thing.
Well, we'll have that too, but we need the house thing. It needs to be in the center of the house. I like it. I like it too. Yeah.
I think a lot of families might copy what you're doing. As a listener or a viewer, if you have any good ideas, like some of you are probably crafty, send a picture to us. And we can post those somewhere. That'd be fun. We might just copy it.
Thanks, guys. Thank you. You're welcome. Family Life Today is a donor-supported production of Family Life, a crew ministry. helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.
