8 Habits of Wise Women Managing Money With Miriam Neff

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Hi, I'm Rob West. That teaching is true for everyone, and yet men and women have different perspectives on money. So how do wise women manage the resources God entrusts to them? Miriam Neff is here to talk about that today, and then it's on to you. Well, it's indeed a pleasure to have Miriam Neff back on the program. She's the founder and president of Widow Connection, a ministry dedicated to helping women overcome and thrive after the loss of a husband.

She's also co-author with her daughter, Valerie Neff Hogan, of Wise Women Managing Money. Miriam, a delight to have you with us today. It's good to be with you, Rob. What you're doing is so important. First of all, it's biblical wisdom, so it's sound. But the other thing is, having the Q&A, people get to call in and address specific things. I mean, not only is it priceless, you pay big bucks to get this kind of really expert advice. Well, thank you.

You're one of our biggest fans, and we're grateful because we think so highly of you and Valerie and the work you're doing at Widow Connection, so I always look forward to having you on the program. You know, Miriam, your book is a great resource for women in general, but especially for those who may suddenly find themselves having to manage the household finances. You've identified eight habits of wise women who've been thrust into that role.

Now, these are habits that anyone can establish if they're willing to put in the time, right? Oh, that's right, and just a little statistic. Most women in the United States are single. There are also a lot of single moms, widows, but every woman should know and understand finances. We oversee 51% of the wealth in the United States now, and that is growing, and we're talking about women here. So we are capable, for sure, because God has created us. Whether he's entrusted us with a large amount or small, he has entrusted us, which means he's going to help us. The key, and it's most important, know your why, because it's all God's.

I love that, know your why. I think that's great advice, and you're exactly right about this growing amount of wealth in the hands of women. We know that as this somewhere between $30 and $60 trillion changes hands between now and 2030, well, a large portion of that will be in the hands of women. We hear from them all the time, as you know, Miriam, on the broadcast, so I'm delighted we can give them some help and encouragement today.

I know we've got a lot of ground to cover, so let's dive in. What's the first habit of wise women managing money? Well, we acknowledge that all we have is God's own loan to us to steward. So some people listening may say, well, I have a 401k or I have an IRA. Is that what we're talking about, those investments? Well, the word is all we have. So in other words, our income, are we spending it wisely or is it a bunch of it going to credit card debt?

What about housing? Are we taking care of it, keeping it in good repair, car or transportation, making wise choices, even wardrobe? So we think of it's all God's, but let's realize that word all means everything, every bit of it. So it's the big stuff and the small stuff and everything in between.

You're exactly right. And that leads us to number two, which is around taking responsibility to know our finances. Why is that important for wise women managing money? Well, we pay attention to things that need repair. We pay attention to the things that we're lacking we need to get.

We should spend more time than ever on knowing our finances. And I simplify the eight to four, know it, own it, like it or change it. We write it down. And Bob and I did paper and pencil.

My family members do spreadsheets in their marriages. But you keep a record of it. And we can't be distracted by saying, oh, my teenagers need too much stuff, or my parents didn't teach us this. It is our responsibility. We're going to stand before God alone. And the most important topic is love. How did we love others? But the second most important topic in the Bible is our stuff.

Yes, that's exactly right. Well, these are two key points to get us started on that second one around taking responsibility for our finances. You don't have to go it alone. We're here to help you at Faith and Finance. There's Widow Connection, your local church and so many other resources.

So get some help along the way. We're joined today by Miriam Neff. She's the founder and president of Widow Connection. We're talking about the eight habits of wise women managing money back with much more just around the corner.

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It's a pleasure to welcome back to the broadcast today Miriam Neff. She's a frequent contributor here. She's the founder and president of Widow Connection, a ministry dedicated to helping women overcome and thrive after the loss of a husband. She's also the co-author with her daughter Valerie Neff Hogan of Wise Women Managing Money and today we're talking about the eight habits of wise women who've been thrust into this role of managing money. As Miriam said just before the break, more than 50% of wealth in the hands of women today and that number is clearly growing. She said habit number one is that we have to acknowledge all we have is God's on loan to us as a steward. That's a high calling and then secondly it's important for wise women managing money to take responsibility for knowing their finances even if they've not spent a lot of time in that area and they can get help. Miriam, what's the next habit of wise women managing money? The next one is we create a spending plan based on our income and values.

I just want to say, Rob, this is hard because our culture gets it backwards. If you want it, own it. You want that bigger house stretched, get as big a mortgage as you can. Hope your income will go up to cover it and your bills will not go up. And if you want those extra items of clothing, put it on the credit card.

Maybe you'll be able to pay for it later. That's what the culture says and that's based on comparisons and wanting more. Biblically, our contentment is in the Lord. That's where our value is. We believe it's all His and we want to do it well.

So we do not let the culture push us to make foolish choices. That's so helpful because we've got to start with our income. But what's even bigger than that is the second piece that you talked about and that is our values. What does it look like for wise women managing money to take a values inventory, Miriam, so that they know their values and they can apply that to their investment decisions?

Well, we have a chart for that in our book and we have a chart that shows what recommendations there are for percentages that go to housing and all of that kind of thing. But as Christ followers, the first big piece of that pie to go out is to give to God. It's not really giving to Him. It's just acknowledging and dedicating to a biblical future.

I mean, eternity is forever. That's where we want to invest first. So that's where the values come in. So it's a good chart for you to look at in our book.

Yeah, very good. And that's well said. All right, this next habit speaks to the quote that Larry Burkett would often say, and that is that every spending decision is a spiritual decision. What do you want to tell us about our hearts related to money management? Well, you started with the scripture where your treasure is there while your heart beat. What do you look at first thing in the morning?

Do you look at where the markets are? Do you look at Facebook or is our face in the Bible first? And if you want to know the status of one's heart, look at the calendar, the checkbook, the credit card.

It's staring right at us because that's our behavior. And that's where earlier I said, know it, own it, like it or change it. If you don't like what's staring back at you, if you say God isn't pleased with this, this has me burning up money with credit card debt, then you change it. And I'm not saying if it's big steps you need to take, you start out successfully right out of the gate, but you start with little steps and you get stewarding it responsibly. God notices and then he helps us.

When he sees you put your foot in the water, he knows how to part the waters. That is so good and so helpful. All right, I think we're up to habit number five, Miriam, and this one has to do with excuses.

What do you have for us here? Well, you can say, well, my spouse is a big spender or my teenagers need to have the same kind of smartphones as their friends or, oh, I wasn't feeling so good. I was discouraged, so I'm going to do a little retail therapy.

Hello, that is not, that's called retail sickness. So making excuses or saying it's somebody else or, I mean, it's really hard and I, talking to single parents and people who have some real struggles, it's really hard not to be pushed by emotion or fear. Like the Matthew 25 story that got one's talent, he was captivated by fear and didn't earn anything with that one talent. So getting the emotions in line, we have a chapter on that, but we want to make sure that we own it ourselves. It's about what we're doing with what's entrusted to us.

Yes, that's exactly right. And that really leads right into this sixth wise habit, which has to do with taking personal responsibility. Tell us about that. Well, we don't, here's some temptations. As a parent, we may decide, oh, we need to kind of hand out stuff to our kids or especially in divorce situations to kind of earn favor of our kids.

Handing out to keep a relationship or hoarding something to fill, fill a void. These are financial actions that we have to take personal responsibility. We can't say, well, our circumstances made us do that. No, we're Christ followers. We know our why. We want to honor him and he blesses us. And again, I can just promise anyone listening, when you take that first small step to say, God, I want to honor you with my finances, he steps in and does some amazing things.

Yes, he sure does. And I'm so glad you have this next one on the list of habits, because this is not about setting it and forgetting it, is it? Oh, absolutely not. Think of what's happening today with inflation. If you had a budget a year ago today, it would be busted.

And I'm saying that from my location, but it's happening all over our country. And one of the principles is you have three to six months savings set aside available for emergencies. Well, anymore, they say the only things you can count on are death and taxes. Well, now I'm thinking you can also count on change and you can also count on something happening.

The car that breaks down, the thermostat that doesn't work. I mean, these things are guaranteed to happen. We just don't know when. So that's why we have to keep revisiting. With inflation, you pare down things so that you make sure you have that three to six month reserve. It's just vital. Yes, it sure is. Well, we've saved the best one for last.

We have about a minute left. I know this one is really near and dear to your heart, and it has to do with investing for kingdom purposes. Tell us about the eighth habit. Well, I just have to say for me, it's personal. I invest in global projects and poor areas and widows learn a saleable skill, and then they know that they were able to learn that because God loved this one woman. So that's an investment in eternity. Now, does everybody do it that way?

No, and I'm not saying I'm a great example, but pick that thing that you know is going to be a blessing for kingdom purposes, and that's the thing that makes it worth buying your sweats at Walmarts or at the resale shop. Have some accountability partners, not that you tell them all the details, but tell them your goals and help them encourage them. Our book has questions and discussion at the end of each chapter. Have a few friends meet together.

Hold each other accountable so you're not feeling you're kind of alone in the struggle. This is so good. We've, of course, just scratched the surface, so folks, you're going to have to pick up a copy of this book because there's much more behind all of these.

It's called Wise Women Managing Money, and it's from Miriam Neff and Valerie Neff-Hogan. Miriam, thanks for stopping by. We're going to have you back real soon. Thanks, Rob. Sure enjoyed it. God bless you.

God bless you as well. That's Miriam Neff, founder and president of Widow Connection. We'll be right back with much more. Stick around. Too good to be true?

It's not. I'm a proud member of Christian Healthcare Ministries. And if you think it could be right for you, learn more at chministries.org. Faith by we're grateful for support from Movement Mortgage, who provides residential home loans in all 50 states guided by a mission to love and value people and a goal to redefine the mortgage process. Movement seeks to help others achieve their financial goals. You can find out more at movement dot com slash faith. Movement Mortgage LLC supports equal housing opportunity in MLS number 39179.

For licensing information, please visit in MLS consumer access dot org. Welcome back to faith and finance. I'm Rob West. All right, let's head back to the phones.

Eight hundred five two five seven thousand. I've got two lines open. We'd love to hear from you. Let's go to Cleveland, Ohio. John, you'll be next on the program.

Go ahead. Hi, I've got some collectible coins or slab coins, meaning they've been encased and graded by the professional grading services. And my question is, I've owned them a little over 20 years. And when is a good time? I would like to sell these, cash them in.

When is a good time? Do they fluctuate like the equities market up and down? Or are they maybe a little bit like gold silver where there's just a slow, steady increase? Some of them are made of precious metals.

Others are just older coins, you know, from the eighteen hundreds, rare pennies, nickels, half cents, things like that. Yeah, very good, John. And you said you have gotten them appraised or graded professionally.

That's great. That's always an important step. You know, there's two factors here. I mean, there's one is just the spot price of the underlying precious metal itself when that's involved. And then beyond that, you've obviously got the intrinsic value where it's worth more than its face value because it's rare. And, you know, they do fluctuate. The problem is it really does take a professional to be able to give you kind of any indication as to where, you know, these might be going in the future.

And a lot of that is speculation. Now, we can look at historical trends just on the underlying value of the metal and, you know, what reasonable rate of return we might be able to attach to that. But often when it comes to rare coins, you know, folks will just hold them forever and, you know, often pass them down unless they need to convert that asset to cash because they have another purpose for it or they'd like to invest it somewhere else that might have lower risk and a better prospect of a return. The challenge is just it would almost be impossible to say, you know, any provide any kind of rule of thumb that says, you know, when to keep it versus sell it, because there's just so many factors here. There's the future, you know, underlying metal.

And then there's the intrinsic nature of these rare coins that nobody's going to be able to tell you kind of how they'll perform in the future. At the end of the day, this is something I think you need to really pray about and discern where the Lord is leading. But I think it sounds like you're getting some wise counsel here as you move forward. All right, let's round out the broadcast today. We'll get to as many questions as we can to Chicago. Hi, Cheryl. Go right ahead.

Hi. I've been retired for almost three years and I have two retirements. I'm drawing a pension. One of my rollover IRA has $119,000 and then the Roth IRA has like $11,000. I recently had to have my roof replaced and I'm wondering if it makes sense to borrow money from the IRA rollover to pay for the roof. The roof was like $40,000 and it's a guaranteed, a lifetime guarantee on the roof. I see. Yeah, you wouldn't be able to, and you use the word borrow, you wouldn't be able to borrow from the IRA, but are you asking just about taking a withdrawal of a distribution? Right.

What type of things do I need to consider before doing something like that? Sure. Yeah, very good. So you're living on the pension alone, Cheryl, or are you pulling from other sources? No, just from the pension. What about social security? I don't have social security.

I retired from the government. Okay. Yep.

Very good. And did you already do the roof and did you borrow to do that? Yes, we did.

We financed it. Okay. And what's the interest rate on that? 10%.

10%. Okay. And you are able to cover that monthly payment currently just out of your pension income? Yes, I could. Okay. Very good.

Yeah. I like the idea of you paying this off, especially given that it's a guaranteed 10% return on this money. Because you know you're not going to be paying 10%, whereas you certainly don't know you're going to get 10% guaranteed in the stock market in that IRA rollover. So what I would do is probably work with your CPA because whatever you pull out is going to be added to your taxable income. So what you may want to consider doing is pulling half of it in 2023 and half of it in 2024, but your CPA can talk you through that.

That would make sure that you don't push any portion of this up into a higher bracket. The other consideration is we think the likelihood is that tax rates are headed higher in the future. We know Trump's tax cuts are expiring in 2025. There's obviously uncertainty around the future of Congress.

There's a presidential election around the corner. So there's a decent likelihood we could see higher tax rates in the future. The benefit of you pulling that money out now to pay off that loan at 10% is at least you know you're in a very low tax environment, even though it is all going to be added to your taxable income.

So I kind of like this idea of you going ahead and wiping this out using the IRA funds as long as you just communicate with your CPA about it and make sure you don't get caught off guard by the additional taxes you'll have to pay. Does that make sense? That makes a lot of sense. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Thank you. All right, Cheryl. God bless you. Quickly to Billy. Billy, I've got just about a minute and a half.

How can I help? Well, thank you, first of all, for taking my call. I bought some property about two or three years ago and never did anything with it. And my intention was to give it to my son.

And what he did, he built a house on it last year and he sold it the house this year. And I was told that I could quit claim at the closing, you know, to let him get his property and his name. But when we got to the closing, I was not allowed to do that. But I did go ahead and sign, you know, everything in my name at the closing.

But I'm wondering, how can I, what can I do about this? Is there anything I can do about the capital gain tax on that property? So this property has always been in your name. It was in your name when it was sold.

And that sale has already taken place, right? Yes. Okay. And was this a rental property or your primary residence?

Go ahead. Well, one of the caviar, they did a right to check out to my son on the sale of the property. But it was your property? Yes.

Okay. Yeah. And this was your primary residence or this was somebody, this is where somebody else lived? No, it was not my, it wasn't nobody's residence. It was a brand new house that he built and sold it. Yeah, got it.

Yeah. Unfortunately, I mean, that's your property, regardless of who the check's written to out of the proceeds of the closing, you owned it. So the capital gains are based on, you know, your original purchase price plus any improvements you made on the property establishes the adjusted cost basis. And then you've got the selling price.

So you take the selling price minus your cost basis, and that's going to tell you how much profit you had. And then as long as you owned it for more than a year, it would be a long term capital gain. And for most folks, that puts it at 15% capital gains tax on the profit. So you would need to check with your CPA on what's actually owed. But unless you roll that into another property within 180 days, there's and that sale has already occurred. There's going to be capital gains on it.

You just need to determine how much based on the actual profit you realized. Billy, we appreciate your call today. Thanks for being on the program. Hey, we're almost out of time, but I wanted to let you know that you don't ever have to miss a program. Just download our Faith Buy app for your mobile device and take us with you anywhere. Thanks for joining us today. I look forward to talking with you again next time on Faith and Finance. Faith and Finance is provided by Faith Buy and listeners like you.