R379 The Home: Is It Worth Fighting For?

The home, is it worth fighting for?

Yes it is. You'll discover more in that message coming from Dr. Don Wilton today. Welcome to The Encouraging Word, featuring the Bible-based teaching of Dr. Don Wilton, well-known author, evangelist, seminary professor, and more. And today we go to Ephesians 5, 22. On this message, the home, is it worth fighting for?

Let's study the Word. I want you to turn with me to Paul's letter to the Ephesians in chapter 5. The home, is it worth fighting for? Is your family and your home worth fighting for?

What does your home mean to you? Let's read together Ephesians chapter 5, beginning at verse 22. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church, his body of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives. Just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the Word to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church, for we are members of his body. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.

This is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with the promise that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. Fathers do not exasperate your children.

Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord Jesus Christ. The home, is it worth fighting for? The home is a wonderful place to be, isn't it? I asked myself the question, why is it important for us here at First Baptist Church to spend time talking about and studying about the home and the family? Seven suggested reasons. Number one, because God initiated the home.

It's initiated by God. God instituted the home, the family. Number two, because it is pleasing to God. We're going to discover that God is pleased when our home life and our family life is what God intended it to be.

Number three, because it's the best thing that we have. I have said many times, and I'm certain that you've said the same thing, that you can take away everything from me, but not my home. My home's not up to debate.

My family are not up to debate. We love our homes and our families. There's something very special about our home and about our children and our grandparents and our mothers and fathers that makes it worth fighting for, don't you think? It's the best thing that we have under our salvation. But then number four, the home is worth fighting for because we love one another.

It's just as simple as that. I wish I could find some profound theological statement to say to you about why we should study God's word related to the home, but it's just simply because we love one another. There's something so special, isn't there, about being around our sons and daughters and moms and dads, about visiting one another, going on vacation together, doing things together.

Number five, another good reason is because time is marching on. I wouldn't be surprised if there would be many people this morning who would readily stand up and say, pastor, I would stand up right now and say, love your mother and father because one day they're going to be gone. Love your husband and your wife and your children because time is marching on. Time's going to come when those people who are so close to you and so important to you are no longer going to be there. Children grow up so quickly.

And I've heard people say that once they reach college age, you never lose that love, but they're gone. Well, there's a sixth reason that we should do what we're doing and why the home is worth fighting for and that's because the home is in crisis. I think we know that.

You and I know that. Families are in crisis. The home is in crisis.

We're going to look at several of these things during the next few weeks, but there's a seventh reason the family is the very substance of society. I believe that Satan knows this perhaps best of all, doesn't he? It's not going to take a communist tank rolling down Main Street to cripple the United States of America. Satan already has devised his plan. He's going to destroy the home. He's going to destroy the family unit. He's going to divide us asunder. Well, I think it warrants me saying something that is obvious. If we're going to look at the family over the next few weeks and we're going to discover what God's word has to say, what comprises a family?

I don't want anybody to be left out of this. A home is whoever is in that home. You may be a single parent. Yours is a home. You may be a married couple with no children. Yours is a home and a family.

You may be blessed with one or many children. You may be a single adult, never married, and you have a home. I went to the home of a single adult this week, a beautiful home. In every sense of the word, a home.

You may be a grandparent and you're suffering from the empty nest syndrome. Yours is a home. Maybe you're a senior adult and you're a widower or a widow and you live by yourself and your home is filled with pictures. I went into the home this week of one of the most precious ladies that I have ever met in my life and just to go into a home and to see the pictures on her walls. I even read a poem that one of her granddaughters had written.

So special. Her grandmother, a home. Well, as we come to this time of trying to see what God's word would have to teach us, I believe friends that there are five demands that are made on the home today and I want to share them with you.

I want you to listen carefully. There are five, I'm sure there are many more, but there are five major demands that are falling upon the home today. Number one is the demand of changing values that has descended upon the home today in America.

What do we mean by changing values? Well, first of all, there is a compromise and tolerance have become the new buzzwords. The order of the day is to compromise and the gospel of today is to tolerate. Secondly, moderation is perhaps the password to success in many homes today. Parents believe in teaching their children moderation.

You can smoke as long as you only smoke one pack a day and not five. It's okay if you drink, but just do it in moderation. It's all right if you cuss, but don't use four letter words and just don't cuss all the time. It's okay if you associate with these things and those things, just don't, just do it in moderation. So we've got three buzzwords compromise and tolerance and moderation, which leads me to the third point about changing values that the difference between wrong and right is becoming increasingly blurred in the home today.

What is wrong? What is right? How do we teach one another? What are the standards by which we operate today? The world, it seems to me has so infiltrated the home today that it's difficult to push everything else aside and to be able to understand that there are very clear lines or absolutes. Families today have a tendency to run away from the word absolute.

Never use the word absolute. Don't ever talk about this is absolutely the way we need to do things. But there's a fourth dynamic related to the demand of changing values. There are shifting values which have become the order of the day. It seems perhaps in our families, in our homes that every day we wake up, there's a new emphasis.

There's a shifting value. Divorce is more acceptable. Sex is more recreational. Homosexuality is more natural. Marriage is now more negotiable.

Gender is more undefinable. Child rearing is more reprehensible. Motherhood is more socially unacceptable.

Fatherhood is more unreliable. Family commitment is more and more unthinkable. Stable family relationships are becoming more impossible and family values are more and more politically unmentionable. Shifting values, whether it be divorce or sex or homosexuality or marriage or gender or child rearing or motherhood or fatherhood or family commitment or family relationships or family values, the demand of changing values has descended like a cloud upon the home. Is it worth fighting for? But there's a second demand that I think equally demanding and that is the demand to watch television.

You say surely not pastor. How can television affect home life? The demand to watch television more and more people are spending more and more time watching television.

It's captivating. It's demanding and what do we see when we turn on the television set? Daily reports on crime, on abuse, daily reports on uncontrolled sexuality, daily reports on militant groups, on the fringe of society more frequently demanding their perverted rights, poverty stricken families operated to satisfy the insatiable desire for the American public to do good without having to do it. Single parent frustrations are being paraded across the talk shows of America, poor schools, neglected children, standards that have been turned upside down on their heads and to satisfy the world in which we live, we now have a TV rating scale that is paraded so that we can at least know what we're supposed to be watching. The demand to watch television, what does it do for the family? Well, first of all, it robs us of time together.

I think we can be honest with that. It robs us of time because we spend so much time watching the television set. So it takes away from the special nature of what we're trying to do but secondly, it impacts our educational standards because the educational means by which our young people are now fed is to a large extent through the television set. The standards and the values and the morals that they are applying to themselves in their formative years are being given to them by the characters and personalities that they see on television but there's a third impact upon the family, this demand to watch television, it's called exhaustion, a lack of sleep.

I think we need to be honest with one another. When we sit up late at night and watch television or we spend all our time on a beautiful day sitting in front of the TV set, it exhausts us physically. I hear from educators that more and more children are arriving at school exhausted.

They're tired, they cannot think properly because they're going to bed so late, they're watching TV for hours. There's the demand of changing values and the demand to watch television but there's a third one that comes upon the family and that's the demand to achieve. There is an insatiable appetite in America today for everybody to achieve maximum. Nothing wrong with that. I hope that all parents want their children to achieve but many parents want their children to succeed at all costs.

Nothing else matters. Many live out their dreams and their failed youth experiences through the lives of their children. This can be seen in three different areas and it's a demand on the family. It's seen first of all in their relationships, particularly when that daughter or son begins to date and mom and dad begin to live out their dreams and their fantasies through their children and begin to impose and begin to push and begin to shove all different directions in the development of their relationships. Why they want them to succeed. They want them to marry well.

They want them to be seen with the very best. It's also seen in the classroom. My prayer is that every young person at First Baptist Church of Spartanburg would have straight A's every term.

I think that is a noble goal. I desire that for my family and for every young person but I'm going to say to you my friends that the demand to achieve whereby the parent believes straight A's at any cost comes at a price. In the day and age in which we live today, the straight A becomes far more important than the development of character and personality. It has become a substitute for truth and many parents today are so bent on their children getting straight A's and being listed in the school bulletin as having straight A's or whatever it is that parents are not helping their children to do homework anymore. They are doing their homework for them. No wonder so many children arrive at school with perfect projects and perfect papers because mom or dad have sat there and done the whole thing for them.

What's happening? We are cultivating a generation of young people who no longer need to think for themselves. The zapper generation. If we don't like this channel, we go to the next.

I don't have to think for myself. Television impacts reading. Our children no longer read. Their standards are dropping and the more the standards drop, the more the society in which we live says let's drop the standard so that everybody can be on the same level because we don't want to leave anyone out.

Then it's seen in the third place on the sports field. I call it the awards syndrome. The push to achieve. There are many parents today who are making excuses for their children. They exempt them from spiritual food. They tell them they don't need to be on retreats.

They don't need to be in places where they're going to be fed spiritually all because of a ball game. Parents are increasingly making excuses and society doesn't help because when we come to the end of the year, no matter what is done, everybody's going to get an award one way or the other. One of these days, I'm going to look forward to going to an award ceremony where those who have achieved are going to get the award. But in our society today, you go to an award ceremony and everybody in the entire school gets an award because you cannot leave anybody out. We're teaching our children the wrong values. We're not teaching them discipline and what it means to be rewarded for good work. We're not teaching them to try for themselves, the demand to achieve what suffers as a result, their spiritual development, their social development, their character and personality development, their value system begins to suffer. But there's a fourth demand and that's the demand on time, on the family.

Is the family worth fighting for? Time. Oh, I could talk about time. The age of hyperactivity. Action oriented people we are, yes.

What what? That's exactly what we are. We're action oriented, where busyness is associated with productivity, where there are constant new opportunities. We are a clock conscious people. We're in an age where making money is the order of the day, where younger and younger people are going out to work, where the sheer pace of our work means that we're working longer and harder and later to earn less. But as long as we earn and as long as we have, we'll pay whatever price no matter what it costs our family and our homes. There are high stress jobs. People here this morning who are in high stress jobs, long, long hours.

You can see it in your faces and it just bears down upon you. There's the traffic congestion of society where it takes you hours to get from the east to the west, where town meetings are being held in order to discuss why certain roads are being blocked up, why there's so much congestion, what can we do? Then there is the mall mentality.

There are so many shops to choose from, you feel like you're getting giddy in the head just trying to decide which one to go to. The demand on time. But then there's a fifth demand, the demand for convenience has descended upon the home, modern conveniences and technology. Oh, we demand that in the home we need more and more of it. Listen about answering machines. Friends who call friends, expect friends to call back friends if they really want to remain friends. And it's one thing to have an answering machine and come home and have 15 or 20 messages, but you got to sit there, go through them, answer them, talk to people. Nothing wrong with modern technology, but beloved friends, the demand for convenience has descended upon our family lives. The home, is it worth fighting for? Please forgive the interruption.

We'll be back with the rest of today's message. The home, is it worth fighting for with Dr. Don Wilton in just a moment, but Dr. Don wants you to know we're available for you to pray with you anytime day or night at 866-899-WORD. That's 866-899-9673 or online at TEW.org.

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Now back to today's great teaching with Dr. Don Wilton. It's not that we've got these things that we throw out the window and that we don't need. Technology's not going to stop. Demands are not going to stop. Convenience is not going to stop.

Television's not going anywhere. It's what we do with it. It's how we discipline ourselves. It's how we handle these things. Is the family worth fighting for?

Is the time that we spend together worth fighting for? As I began to study this incredible subject on the home and the family, I asked God to give me a starting point and I went back to the book of Nehemiah. You might want to turn there to Nehemiah chapter 1 because Nehemiah was a man who was about to build a wall. He was about to embark on a project.

He looked around. God told him, Nehemiah, the wall of Jerusalem is broken down. I want you to set about doing something that may seem impossible, that perhaps may be beyond repair, that may be too difficult to overcome. Here in Nehemiah chapter 1 and verses 5 through 11, we find the Lord's servant Nehemiah going through a wonderful time of preparation. Let me share with you just four principles that Nehemiah applied in his own life as he began to consider building the wall.

Perhaps we can take these principles in our home and our family life as we begin to build what God is saying to us. Number one, he prayed. He prayed.

Look at verse 4. The Bible says, when I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and I fasted and I prayed before the God of heaven. He prayed. Someone has said that the family that prays together stays together. Prayer is the key. Maybe in your family today, you recognize so many of these things as we all do and you look back and you say, is it too late?

Is there anything that I can do? Pray about it. Would you do that? Would you over the next couple of weeks as we study this important subject, just simply pray for and about your family, about your wife, your husband, your mother, your father, your sons and daughters. Would you pray for your family? If you're a single adult, would you pray for yourself, for your home?

If you're a widow, would you pray for your home? Number two, he confessed his sin. Look at verse six, the second part. I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father's house, have committed against you. Perhaps God has already said to you that this is what you need to do and you know that what you have been doing is not pleasing to God. Confess that sin.

Here's what the Bible says. The Bible says that if we confess our sin, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all our unrighteousness. Number one, pray. Number two, confess your sin, your circumstance to God. Number three, he remembered. He remembered. Look at verse eight. Bible says, remember the instruction you gave.

Remember. But then finally, he asked for help. Would you pray and ask God to do in your family what God has said he will do? What a powerful teaching from Dr. Wilton today. Again, God is ready to do what he said he would do. Would you open your hearts now as the pastor comes into the studio and shares what is on his heart next? Are you ready to give your heart and life to the Lord Jesus Christ? Why don't you pray this prayer with me right now? Dear God, I know that I'm a sinner and I know that Jesus died for me on the cross. Today, I repent of my sin and by faith, I receive you into my heart in Jesus' name. My friend, I welcome you today into the family of God. This is exciting news. We're wrapping up the broadcast now, but perhaps it's a brand new beginning for you. If you just prayed to receive Christ as Dr. Don was leading in that prayer moments ago or rededicated your life to Jesus.

Oh, we want to celebrate with you. We want to put some free resources in your hands. Dr. Wilton has prepared and we want to pray with you into the next steps of growing in your faith. Please give us a call and let us know how God's working. 866-899-WORD is our phone number. That's 866-899-9673 or connect with us online at www.tewonline.org. That's www.tewonline.org. While you're there, be sure and sign up for the daily encouraging word devotion from Dr. Don. That's at www.tewonline.org.