How NOT to Pray For Your Kids

This is Michael Carbone with the Truth Network. We're partnering with Bible League International on Open the Floodgates, Bibles for Africa.

In many parts of countries like Kenya, Ghana, Tanzania, and Mozambique, as many as 9 out of 10 Christians are denied God's word by corrupt governments, majority religions, and poverty and remoteness. $5 sends a Bible. $100 sends 20. $500 sends 100. Call 800-YES-WORD.

That's 800-937-9673. Thank you for caring. Hello, this is Will Hardy with ManTalk Radio. We are all about breaking down the walls of race and denomination. Your chosen Truth Network Podcast is starting in just a few minutes. Enjoy it, share it, but most of all, thank you for listening to the Truth Podcast Network.

This is the Truth Network. Now, here's James. It really was spectacular. God showed up in a mighty way at the boot camp that we did, and you know, actually the campers came and prayed over us, the team, which just had never happened, and clearly God was doing some things. It was beautiful, yeah.

Awesome, awesome. So, onto the topic of how not to pray for your kids. There's a great example of this in the New Testament, and actually you'll find that if you look at it, and the flip side is it'll help you learn how to pray for your kids. So, you find this in Matthew 20, where Salome, the mother of James and John, comes to Jesus and asks for a favor. Do you remember that story? Yeah, it didn't go too well for her, yeah.

That's right, that's right. She asks that James and John will sit on Jesus' left and right in the Kingdom of God, and you know, he turns to her and says, you don't know what you're asking, and you know, these are both positions of power that she's asking for, really. And then he turns to James and John, and he talks to them about it. Yeah, that's interesting, isn't it? Because it seems pretty obvious Jesus is talking to them and not to her, because, you know, they put her up to it. That's exactly right, and you see that, because Matthew tells us a little later that when the other disciples found out about it, they were pretty miffed.

I think the word he uses is indignant. So, what's the takeaway here for a praying mom? Well, I think there are a few of them, but the most obvious one is be careful of what your kids put you up to, including with God.

I remember some conversations with the school principal that didn't turn out the way I had planned once I had all the facts. I think we've all been there, so what does this look like when you're praying for your kids? Well, at first it looks like she's asking for something really great for her kids, right? I mean, who wouldn't want their kids to be right there with Jesus when the Kingdom comes? But the prayer is really full of ambition, which is why the other ten are ticked off. Think about it this way, if Salome had a chariot, the bumper sticker on it would say something like, my sons are two of the twelve.

No other mom could claim that except Peter and Andrew, and Jesus only had nicknames for one of them, at least that we know of, but Salome's sons were the sons of thunder, and so this is kind of the ultimate power play for them. So, the first way not to pray for our kids is, don't pray out of personal ambition. Please let them go to Harvard, Lord. You know, if that's where the Lord leads you, great, but Jesus says, what does it profit you to gain the whole world and lose your soul?

Our motivation really has to go deeper. Oh yeah, it does, and we've talked about that before when we've talked about praying for we've talked about praying for prodigals. Success in the eyes of the world can make you a prodigal pretty quickly if you're not careful.

Exactly, and that's the second takeaway here. Who was Salome listening to when she made this request? Well, it's pretty clear, her sons, you know, the same ones who wanted to rain down fire and brimstone on the village when they didn't accept Jesus, which is probably how they got their nickname, the Sons of Thunder, you know, but imagine how differently the conversation could have gone if she went to Jesus and said, Lord, how can my son serve you? What would you like them to do for you in your kingdom? So, you're saying it would have been good if she got a request from Jesus, you know, ask him what was best for her sons. Absolutely, and that's hard for us sometimes as parents because, you know, we naturally think we know what's best for our kids, but God loves them. Jesus loves them even more than we do. And if we pray in step with him, asking him to show us what to want when we pray, well, then we can't go wrong.

Yeah, that's so cool. So far, our takeaways are don't pray for your kids with personal ambition and don't pray for them without asking God what he wants. What else? Well, there is one more. Push back at the little darlings.

Stand up to them. What if Salome had done that? What if she had said, I'm not going to ask him that. You can ask him that if you want to, but I'm not going to. Sometimes it's easy for us to want what our kids want when they're really after something. And that's where we need to ask God for wisdom.

But she doesn't. We need to help our kids learn how to put his kingdom first. Is that what they're asking for? You know, is it in keeping with that what he really wants for them? If we help them discover how to look for that, then they'll really have a chance at joyful and fulfilling lives. Yeah, that's good stuff, James.

And it works for dads as well, I'm guessing. I'm also going to take a moment to put a shameless plug in for some of James' books, right? If you haven't read prayers for your children or prayers for prodigals or praying the prayers of the Bible for kids, you know, certainly you'd want to check those out. Thanks, Robby. And would you wrap this up with a prayer for moms, just thanking God for them, and, you know, asking him to help them as they pray for their kids?

Oh, I'd love to. So, God, Jesus, thank you for that desire that you've given us, our hearts our hearts burning for our families and our children. Lord, we need your wisdom. We need your help to even know what to pray. So we pray for wisdom. We pray for understanding.

We pray for ways to relate in difficult situations and that you would send wisdom our way, even if it comes from our brother or sister that's trying to help. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen. Amen. That last part is the hard part, right? If it comes from a brother or sister. So, Lord, may it be offered in real love. And that's true. You can hear more from Pastor James by visiting his website, jamesbanks.org, or by visiting Peace Church in Durham, North Carolina. May God bless you and encourage you as you pray. This is the Truth Network.