Transgender to Transformed - Part 1

Blessings to Israel presents Discerning the Times, a program committed to encouraging you to view current events through the lens of the Bible.

Now in honor of the one and only true God, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, please join us for today's program. I'm a former transgender. I lived that way for about nine years, and God has just radically set me free. And now He's continuing to just restore and redeem my life so far beyond what I ever imagined. And now He's brought this amazing man into my life.

This is Perry. Initially, I did not have any clue that I was going to get married. I told God, I said, you know, I'm fine if I'm just single the rest of my life. And when I left the transgender lifestyle, I really thought I would just always feel like a man.

I thought I was just always going to feel trans. But I was just going to deny that for Christ. I had no idea the healing that God was going to bring into my heart and my life. But as He healed me, I began to desire a husband. But I prayed, I said, God, I want whoever you want for me. And I asked God to arrange my marriage. And so I really trusted the Lord.

I think the Lord put that on my heart and really prepared me for two or three years. Welcome to the program. So glad to be with you once again this week. And folks, we are in for a blessing today for my guest that is going to join us. As you heard in the introduction, her name is Laura Perry Smoltz. And she has just a fantastic testimony of what God has done for her in her life.

And when I found out about her testimony, I said, I have to get her on to come and share with our audience. So, Laura, I want to thank you for coming on to speak with us today. Welcome to the program. It is such an honor to have you. Thank you so much for having me on. I'm glad to be here. Again, your testimony is just wonderful.

I've heard it several times and every time I hear it, I just get so filled with joy over what God has done. So you also are the author of the book, Transgender to Transformed, and we'll share with the audience how they can get a copy of that before the end of the program. But where I want to start today is, if you will, sort of summarize for us your testimony and how it provides hope for transformation. And we'll get into more details as we go forward.

Okay. Yeah, I, you know, even before I lived as transgender, that's kind of the part of my story that a lot of people know. But, you know, I grew up in a Christian home and I heard a lot about Jesus, but I just I really never understood the gospel. I don't think I just never regenerated, always trying to be at times I would say the prayer and I would rededicate and try and live a better life and try and be a better Christian. I didn't want to go to hell, but I just I don't think I really understood, you know, and but I lived in a lot of rebellion. I was very angry at God. I was very bitter throughout, like, especially through my high school years, college deep in a lot of sin. But eventually I did transition for about nine years, thinking that that was going to solve all my problems, but it was so fake and it was so just very artificial and never solved any of the problems. I remember just being so disillusioned in life and thinking I have everything I ever wanted, but I'm still just the same person. I'm still just going to work and paying bills like I'm no happier, even though I had the identity and everything I wanted. And the Lord was pursuing me, even though I wanted nothing to do with the Lord.

I'm so amazed by him because I swear I would never serve God again. I wanted to be the opposite of a Christian. It's a miracle I didn't end up in a satanic cult really at one point because that's kind of where I was headed. I just was very dark, but the Lord pursued me and I think my parents were praying for me and they had other people praying for me and God just began to draw my heart. And I remember at one point I asked my mom, I said, what's happened to me?

Six months ago I was 180 degrees from where I am now. All I want is to hear the word of God. I've been working on a website for her and God had been really pouring his word into me. And so I just found myself desiring the Lord for the first time in my life. And at one point I gave my heart to the Lord. I had seen, and that's a much longer story, but I can tell you that it was such a miracle. I didn't know it was a supernatural work because when I truly got saved, I had never known what it was like to be born again.

All those times of rededicating and praying and walking the aisles. But at that moment when I was really humble and repentant and truly surrendered my life to the Lord, I was just totally regenerated and I was so on fire for Jesus and my heart was so changed, but I wanted to be a man of God. And I thought I was going to just live the rest of my days as a, I didn't really identify as trans.

I didn't want people to know I was trans. I just identified as a man, but I wanted to be a man of God. But God really changed my heart and over the next year and a half began to draw me and begin to convict me of my sins. But I didn't have the faith. I didn't trust him. I didn't know that I could really be changed in that way.

So I was just convinced that I was just going to kind of have to live with that guilt and I was just, I didn't know how to get out of it in other words. But the Lord kept, he didn't say like, this is how I'm going to fix all this, but he brought me to a place where he built my trust more and more through various things that had happened, encounters in my life. And he was pouring the word into me. And the more I read the word, the more I got convicted.

So, you know, I didn't realize that's how it worked. You know, I'd read the Bible so much growing up, but as God was giving me a hunger for his word and as he poured the word into me, I was getting more and more and more convicted. You know, and people will try to twist this verse or that verse, but when the Holy Spirit gets a hold of you, I'm telling you, the whole Bible was telling me I couldn't be transgender. And God began to draw me out of that lifestyle and it finally came to a point where I saw myself in this pit I couldn't get out of and he said, I could see the light at the top, but there was no way out. And I said, God, I'm willing, but I just don't know how. And I was begging the Lord to just take my life. And he reminded me of Matthew 16 verses 24 to 26 that says, If anyone will come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever will save his life shall lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake shall find it.

But what does it profit a man to get in the whole world and yet forfeit his own soul? And I remember I had a clear vision of Jesus Christ getting down on one knee. He reached his hand down into this pit and he said, Do you trust me?

And he was asking me to just walk away from it all. And I had no clue. Honestly, I thought I would be just like I was saying in the video clip you played. I really thought I was going to feel like a man the rest of my life. I didn't think there was, I had no hope of transformation.

I didn't know he could fix any of this. I really just thought, I'm just going to be miserable the rest of my life, but I have to obey God because I know that I don't want to lose it all for eternity. I don't want to stand before him ashamed. And so I was willing to walk away, but I really just had no hope. But the Lord, as he began to heal me, as he began to help me forgive my mom, as he began to help me let go of all the bitterness, as I began to be discipled in the church, and as I began to really identify with the women in church, I got very involved in women's ministry and women's discipleship group. I eventually worked at the church where I worked with a bunch of other girls, and I just became one of the girls, and God brought so much healing. And I wasn't even aware of what he was doing.

It's not like he said, this is what we're going to do. Just over time I went, wait, what happened to this desire to be transgender, this desire to be a man just began to fade away as he brought healing to other parts of my heart. And then eventually, of course, as you know from the clip, he brought an incredible man into my life, and God has just continued to redeem and restore.

And for the first time in my life, I feel truly loved by a man, and it's brought out so much more femininity and so much just a love of the way God has designed marriage and the way he's designed male and female. It's such a beautiful picture of the gospel. Absolutely. Absolutely. Wow.

It's so amazing. Again, every time I hear you speak about this, I just well up with joy. You mentioned bitterness and how that affected you or how that had a part in your life when you were younger. Could you expound on that a bit more? Because I know so many people today.

I see people. That is obvious that they are bitter. You see it in their demeanor and in their speech and their mannerisms, but speak to how that affected you and give these people hope and encouragement that through Jesus Christ, they can overcome that bitterness.

Yeah. Amen. And that is so crucial to understand because, you know, the Lord has showed me this connection between bitterness and unforgiveness and turning away from the Lord. And I think it's why so many young people are walking away from the faith. There's a verse in Hebrews 12, 15 and 16 that says, looking diligently lest any man fall short of the grace of God, which I didn't understand. Grace at the time as the director of our ministry has really been teaching a lot on grace. And I think we've had kind of a shallow definition of grace. And I always thought of grace as because I'm saved, God just overlooks my sin or I have a pardon from sin. But grace is the very, the presence and spirit of Jesus to overcome sin. It's the life He gives us. In fact, there's a verse in Romans 8 that's talking about that if the spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, then He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of His spirit living in you. And the Lord has been teaching me how when His spirit comes to live in us, it brings life as we give Him more and more control. So anyway, so it says if you fall short of that grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you and thereby many be defiled.

And that caught my attention. Many are defiled when we're bitter. It hurts other people because when we're wounded, when we're hurt, when we're bitter, we hurt other people.

And then it goes on to say, let there be any fornicator or profane person as Esau who for one morsel of food sold as birthright. And I've seen this over and over with young people. It happened in my life, it happens in so many where they're bitter, they're angry, they begin to wall off their heart emotionally. And then when they're walled off emotionally, a lot of times they begin to blame God because then the relationships get worse, things just kind of spiral down. And then they wall off their heart from God and then all that's left is this flesh and they'll throw everything they know about the faith out the window for what they want in the flesh. And it just begins to eat away at you and you stew and you become very self-focused and it just causes, it really wreaks havoc on your life and it draws your heart away from the Lord. You know, there's another passage in Romans 1 where we know that Romans 1 gives this progression of how people are given over to lust and then unnatural lust and then eventually a mind that completely rejects the truth. And the very first thing, it says that God has revealed himself to every man and it says they will stand before him without excuse but then it goes on to say they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful. They became vain in their imagination and the foolish heart was darkened, professing themselves to be wise, they became fools. And so when people are ungrateful, when they're angry and bitter about their circumstances, it begins to turn their heart away from the Lord and they'll start suppressing the truth that they know because of their circumstances.

Wow. That is so true and we see that on full display so much in our society today. Also, I want you to speak on, I've heard you speak on the role that your mother played in this transformation that you made so I want you to speak on the importance of parents to tell the truth.

Also, before you do that though, I want you to hear a clip. This is from Virginia State Delegate Elizabeth Guzman and she has proposed a bill that would criminally prosecute parents who do not affirm their children's identity change and so I want you to listen to this and then respond to it in light of what has happened in your life. Her bill would expand the state's definition of child abuse and neglect to include parents who do not affirm their child's gender identity or sexual orientation. There is an investigation also in place that is not only from a social worker but there is also a police investigation before we make the decision that there is going to be a CPS charge. What could the penalties be? The investigation concludes and it's concluded that a parent is not affirming of their LGBTQ child. What could the consequences be? Well, we first have to have an investigation.

It could be a felony, it could be a misdemeanor, but we know that a CPS charge could harm your employment, could harm your education. So, Laura, here we have this representative in the state of Virginia. She wants to call it child abuse for not affirming a child's identity. What are your thoughts? Well, it's so upside down, you know, but everything in Satan's kingdom is. It's the exact opposite.

It's like where, I think it's in Isaiah where it says, a woman's in they call evil good and good evil and I think that's exactly what we're seeing. In fact, I'm part of a Reddit forum that has like 36,000 members now of mostly people that have detransitioned and some of them are so angry and they're saying, why did my parents let me do this? Why did the doctors let me do this? I was 15 or whatever they were and, you know, why did they let me make this decision?

This has ruined my life. And these stories are just heart-wrenching, but there's so many on there that are angry that adults just let them do what they wanted. And it's not loving to let your child, especially at that age when they're changing what they want every five minutes, a lot of times the reason that they're feeling this way is because of things that have happened to them and then the way that they respond to them. You know, Jesus said that all of these things, and I don't remember the whole list he gave of these various things, flow out of the heart. It's what comes out of the man that defiles the man. And I find that generally there are things that have happened to him, sometimes very traumatic, but sometimes just relational things, sometimes not having a good relationship with a parent or sometimes with a sibling or sometimes being bullied or feeling like they don't fit in with kids and they're jealous of somebody else. A lot of times they're coveting somebody else's life and wishing that they were like this person.

And so that's where the real issue is. But transitioning them, which is, you know, there's no such thing as transition. I didn't transition from anything. I didn't transition from a woman to a man. That's not biologically possible.

I didn't know at the time. There are over 6,500 biological differences between men and women. You know, having a couple of surgeries doesn't make you into the opposite sex. Every single cell in your body has your sex chromosomes. Sorry, that's a bit of a side note, but the point is that parents affirming their child as the gender they want to be and allowing them to transition is the exact opposite of what they need because it's never going to bring the healing of the brokenness that they truly need.

Yeah. And you stated your mother, she played a key role when it came to you. You were identifying as a man. How did your mother approach it? Yeah, you know, my mom and even my dad too. I talk a lot more about my mom because we had a very difficult relationship when I was a child. My dad and I had been very close, but my mom was the one that I really saw the transformation in.

And during those years, my mom refused to call me Jake. She refused to use the pronouns that I wanted. But in one sense, I was very angry with her, but I really knew that she loved me. I knew she had proven that over the years, even though I was angry about some things in childhood, I still knew that she loved me. But the reality was I was always trying to manipulate her and doing what I wanted her to do. You know, I didn't want to hear my name, Laura, or female pronouns because I was trying to erase who I truly was.

I was trying to forget something that was impossible to forget. But eventually, even just being around them, it didn't matter what they said. Eventually, it was hard just to be around them because they were a reminder of what I was trying to erase. And also, they were such a testimony to me.

We don't realize sometimes how when we really pursue Christ and we are truly living for the Lord, how the Holy Spirit uses that as a testimony. At first, my parents were always trying to chase me. I felt like they were always trying to force me to be fixed and I could just feel them pulling me to themselves.

And I was trying desperately to run away. But when they really surrendered me into the Lord's hands and they just began to trust Him with my life, they began to pursue the Lord for their own soul. And as they began to pursue the Lord with all their heart, they just were transformed over the years. And my mom, for the first time in my life, you know, God really opened my eyes to what He was doing in her life a few years later. And she was a totally different woman. And she was filled with faith and peace like I had never seen.

And I remember at one point, I was trying to make some big decision. My mom had always, you know, whatever is logical and she always sort of had the right idea, the right plan. And she said, honey, you just need to trust the Lord.

And I was so blown away by that. I'd never heard my mother say that. And so I think that's the most important thing that, yes, she stood on the solid rock of Christ and on His word. But at the same time, she just pursued the Lord for her own relationship. And she would reach out at times.

She and my dad both, sometimes they'd take me out to dinner or something, but they weren't chasing me. They weren't trying to fix me. And they stopped letting it affect their relationship with the Lord. I mean, we can wallow in grief and depression and there's a time to mourn, but there's also a time to say, okay, Lord, you've allowed this for a reason. And that we can sit in the pit and wallow with them or we can pursue the Lord and leave it in His hands because they could never do the supernatural work in my heart that I truly needed. They couldn't bring the regeneration.

They couldn't raise me from the dead. It's like, I think we forget sometimes that it's not ours to fix. Mm hmm. Exactly.

Absolutely. And, you know, as you were talking, it made me think about what real love is, because, see, the world will tell you that, well, to love someone, for your mother to truly love you would have been for her to call you Jake, for her to accept what you were trying to do. But real love teaches to do the thing that's really right. And when I had Bible devotion with my children a few days ago, I have two children, 13 year old and an 11 year old. And my wife and I, we have Bible devotion with them every morning at 7 a.m. And I gave the example to them of trying to explain to a three year old of the fact that they are not allowed to eat ice cream and cookies for every meal. Now that three year old is not going to understand that. For them, they just think, well, I want ice cream and cookies. Why can't I have it?

You should give it to me. And they'll sometimes respond, well, you don't like me or you don't love me if you're not giving me what I want. But as a parent, we know there will be detrimental effects to allowing a child to eat that for every single meal. And so but what we see today in society is people are basically trying to say, let them eat ice cream and cookies for for every meal. And that's that's real love.

But that's not what real love is. What your mother and your father, the approach that they took is real love because they've played a vital role in you being transformed and coming to Jesus Christ. And I'm sure that through that time period, there was also a lot of prayer that they were sending up. So so talk about the importance of prayer as well. Yeah, they in fact, they really eventually after I came home, sort of birthed this prodigal prayer ministry that my mom and the ladies in her Bible study are doing now. And really, God is you use that story to inspire lots of people to make what they call a prodigal prayer baskets.

They have names of prodigals and they they get people together praying for these prodigals. But during those years, my mom and dad were praying for me and God was answering so many of their prayers behind the scenes. They didn't realize how much God was intervening in my life and ways he was encountering me, dreams he was giving me, people he's putting in my path, all these kind of things and just changing my heart little by little. But eventually they, you know, they didn't want anybody to know what was going on at first.

They were very private and they were very and I find that with so many of these parents, they just don't want anybody to know. But eventually the Lord kept encouraging them to share. They shared with their Bible study and eventually they had two different, I think two different Bible studies praying. So they had a lot of people in the church praying with them and these people prayed for years and not only was it good for them when when God answered their prayers, because he was changing them. We forget how much prayer changes us. But then when I came home, it really encouraged everybody's faith and God really used it to to really encourage a lot of people, I think, and it really gave everybody the encouragement to pray more because they saw this miracle. There was this one lady in particular that she had been in her Bible study for years and she used to, if we were standing near somebody at church or something, she'd grab my arm and she'd say, do you know what it's like to pray for somebody for nine years standing next to you? I mean, she was just, she would say all the time that I was her miracle, you know, and so I think prayer is hugely important for both of those reasons. One, because it really is affecting that prodigal because God was answering so many prayers along the way, you know, but at the same time that was also changing them.

Wow, that is so powerful, so powerful. So folks out there, parents, loved ones, friends, whoever it is, do not quit, do not give up, do not stop praying because there's so much power in prayer and we just serve a God who, he's the creator of all things. He has power over all things, so never lose hope in what he can do. Now, Laura, I've heard you also mention in a previous interview, you've talked about how sometimes God is fighting battles for us, so he is doing a work that we don't even realize what's going on. It's behind the scenes as far as we're concerned, but God is doing something for us and you mentioned how that played out with the Israelites back in the book of Exodus, I believe. Speak to that, if you will, please. Yeah, yeah, this was something so cool that the Lord has been showing me, you know, because I hear from so many parents that they just want to know what's going on and they just want to make sure that everything's okay or, you know, but sometimes the Lord will cut off communication, sometimes for years, just like the story of the prodigal son that Jesus told.

He went into a far country, there was no Facebook, there were no text messages, there was no way for him to communicate and the father had no control and I think so many of these parents want control and they think if I can have control then they'll feel secure. But there's times that God takes us out of our hands and so Moses, you know, he had struggled with his faith in the beginning and he thought, who am I to go to Pharaoh and all this, but after seeing all the miracles God did, he was filled with this great faith and he leads them out and they get pinned in between the Red Sea and the mountain and he says, stand back and see the salvation of the Lord, you don't have to do anything, God is going to fight this battle for you, which God does many times in our lives. But he hadn't asked God for the plan at that moment and God said, why are you crying out to me?

Tell the people to move forward. I mean, here they are standing next to the Red Sea, what are they going to do? But the angel of the Lord went behind them and then the glory cloud moved behind them so that they couldn't see the army that was racing toward them. And I mean, I can imagine hearing the thundering of the hooves and the train wheels and it would be a terrifying sound, but then the Red Sea parted and they just had to walk forward, you know, surrounded by this wall of water that would have been extremely terrifying in one sense. But also the roaring power of God and they were completely safe, even though there's this raging water around them and the army bearing down on them and yet completely protected, but they couldn't see anything that was going on. You know, all this between them and the army is a cloud and then they can't see anything God is doing, but all of a sudden when they're on the other side, they look back and the army is completely wiped out. And I think that's so often how God works that we, he may give us little clues along the way sometimes little, my mom used to call them glimmers of hope, you know, but that often some of these parents don't hear from their children for a very long time.

And then all of a sudden, uh, one day that the prodigal wants to come home and I think we've got to trust God to do what only he can do. We have to press the pause button for this week due to time constraints, but this is not the end of the interview. Laura will be back with us next week. Please visit inhisimage.movie to view the documentary and transgendertotransform.com to get a copy of the book. Before I close, I would like to just share with you that Laura, during this time when she was living as a man, she received hormone treatment to where she grew facial hair and she had her breasts removed. And she doesn't mind me sharing this with you as she has shared it in other public interviews, but I want to share that with you.

So you know, the depth to which she was living in this lifestyle, but the transforming power of Jesus Christ brought her out and he could do the same for you as well. So again, that's going to do it for this week, but please come back and join us next time with Laura as we continue. Until then, remember to pray for the peace of Jerusalem, bless God's great nation of Israel, and to the only wise God, be glory through Jesus Christ forever. Amen. Thank you for tuning into Discerning the Times. Please come back and join us next week as we continue to encourage you to view current events through the lens of the Bible. Until next time, remember to pray for the peace of Jerusalem, bless God's great nation of Israel, and seek first the kingdom of God. Discerning the Times is presented by Blessings to Israel.