Handling Your Unresolved Conflicts (cont'd)

God insists if I'm going to bless you moving forward, you got to deal with what is behind you in the way that I instruct. And once you deal with it, then I'll let you move forward and be blessed. And some of us need to join Jacob on this journey.

We're so glad you're with us today. In our last broadcast, Pastor Paul began telling the story of Jacob and Esau, a sibling rivalry that festered for 20 years before it resolved. If you missed that message, visit pastorpaul.net where you can listen to any recent Destined for Victory message on demand.

You can also listen or subscribe to the Destined for Victory podcast at Stitcher, at Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get yours. Now coming your way next, Pastor Paul picks up the story right where he left off last time with Jacob having left home to go to work for his uncle Laban. Two decades have gone by, and that's when Jacob decides to resolve his past so that God can bless his future. So now here's Pastor Paul with today's Destined for Victory message, handling your unresolved conflicts. 14 years, his first 14 years down there, he's working this tricky plan of Laban.

After that, he stays there six more years. And during those years, the Bible says God prospered him. Now I point this out because it's really important for you to understand the fact that God is blessing you doesn't mean you don't have to deal with the ugly truths. See, some people want to believe because I'm blessed, that means I'm favored and everything is good, and God's saying go head on.

No, no, he's blessing you because he's good like that, but he still intends for you to do what you need to do to live under his favor for a lifetime. And so he's blessed, he's married, he works hard. The Bible says he prospers while he's living down there. God blesses him, God prospers him, things are going well, but he still has to deal with it. He knows in his heart that things aren't right. He knows in his heart, sooner or later, he's going to have to face his brother. And that brings us to Genesis 32 where he leaves his father-in-law's household and heads home to handle his business. And when you get to Genesis 22, he has been down there 20 years, and he's been blessed during those years. But being blessed, some of you sitting up here right now, you are blessed, but that doesn't mean you can ignore the ugly truth.

You got to deal with what you got to deal with. Let me stop just long enough before I walk you through the rest of this to help you identify what it is the Lord is speaking you about. You say, well, I'm not aware of anything that I really need to do. All you need to do is get quiet and say, Lord, I want to be right because I want to be blessed not only during a season, I want to be blessed for a lifetime. And I need your blessing, your favor on my entire life. I need your blessing on my kids.

I need your blessing on my whole household. And therefore, God, if there's something that needs to be dealt with from my past, I want you to bring it to my attention and guide me in doing that. If you get quiet, the Holy Spirit speaks. When you get a chance, read in Hebrews chapter four, it tells you that the word of God is quick and powerful, sharper than any two edged sword.

And it's so precise, it cuts between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It says God is a discerner of thoughts and the very intense of our hearts. So whatever you've tried to play down, God knows exactly what the deal is.

What you tried to excuse, God knows exactly what the deal is. And all you got to do is get quiet and you will hear that still small voice. You'll feel that nudge.

You'll know in your knower. A lot of folks, I've never heard God, no, no, you'll hear him, you just don't hear him audibly, but you'll hear him in your spirit. He'll nudge you. And when the Lord speaks to you, you cannot resist it. And so all you need to do is say, Lord, is there something I've done, I've said that needs to be properly addressed because I don't want any hindrances to what you have in store for me.

I don't want to miss any blessings that God has lined up for me. And I dare you, if you just get quiet, the Lord will speak to you in a very certain way. And so here he is in Genesis 32 now, going back home, 20 years on the run, 20 years as a fugitive, a blessed fugitive.

But he still got a deal with what he left behind. And so here you are, look at verse 3, Jacob sends his messengers before him to Esau, his brother. And he commands the messenger saying, speak thus to my Lord Esau. Thus your servant Jacob says, I have dwelt with Laban and stayed there until now.

I have oxen, donkeys, flocks, and male and female servants. And I have sent to tell my Lord that I may find favor in your sight. Do you see this? Did you all just read that?

That same tricky boy from 20 years earlier? Now I'm talking about I'm your servant, you are my Lord. Do you see the language? God has done a work on the inside of him.

There's more work to come, but God has done over the course of that time the latter part of those 20 years the Lord has shown him you can't stay blessed until you humble yourself. I came to tell somebody you can't get all the blessings God has for you because you're too prideful and stuck up. You're full of yourself. I came to tell somebody who's a megalomaniac. You say, what is that?

Look it up. It's a person with a pregnant ego that refuses to give birth. Full of themselves and I'm never planning to change. You ever met one? You might not be one, but look down your row. There's a megalomaniac somewhere on your row. Somebody so full of themselves.

They think when you look up it in the dictionary it's them grinning. I am it. What can I say?

I just got it like that. And I came to tell you God is ready to call in what you have owed not God, but what you have owed somebody God loves. See, some of us want to get right with God and just not care about people. I hope you realize by now that this isn't a shouting message. You're not going to leave here dancing and woo. Didn't he preach, honey? Not one of them. This is one where you lead them up. That means I'm a man of God because I can't preach you happy every week.

You can't get happy all the time. We can't talk about Shadrach, Meshach, and a bad negro all the time. We got to get down to business and talk about this real stuff, the hurts and the pains and the wrongs and the sins. And so a lot of you all need to be on this same journey heading somewhere.

Yours might not have been like this, but you know what it is. God knows what it is that has not been properly addressed. All have sinned.

Welcome to the club. But God insists if I'm going to bless you moving forward, you got to deal with what is behind you in the way that I instruct. And once you deal with it, then I'll let you move forward and be blessed.

And some of us need to join Jacob on this journey and look at it. He humbles himself. Some of you got to humble yourself. Yes, I know you're full of pride. Yes, you are conceited. But the Bible says humble yourself.

What does that mean? Don't ask God to humble you. Don't ask. Never ask God to humble you.

He might have to slap you in a casket to do it. Up next, the rest of today's Destined for Victory message with Pastor Paul Shepherd. We want to thank all of you whose prayers and financial support help Pastor Paul share the gospel all over the world.

Your donations do make a difference. So as God leads, prayerfully consider making a generous gift to Destined for Victory today. Give securely online at PastorPaul.net. That's PastorPaul.net.

Or call us at 855-339-5500. If you want God to exalt you, you've got to take active steps to lower yourself. Sometimes it means saying you're sorry to someone you've wronged. Here's Pastor Paul once again with today's message, handling your unresolved conflicts. Don't ask God to humble you.

The Bible says humble yourself. Some of you don't have apology skills because you've never exercised them. How many of you have people in your life and you have never heard them say I'm wrong? Just think for a moment.

How many of you all can think of some folks somewhere in your sphere of influence? I never heard them say they were wrong. I never heard them say forgive me. I never heard them say I did that, I blew it.

I never heard anything like that. And I came to tell you if you've never heard somebody say it, it's probably because they never said it. And God is saying it's time. You in here asking me to bless you and favor you and increase you and multiply you and all of that stuff you pray in the prayer of Jabez. Bless me indeed. He said I can't bless you indeed till you humble yourself indeed.

And you do what I tell you to do to handle your business. Here's the promise of the word of God. If you humble yourself in due season, God will exalt you.

Oh, that's the good news. If I go low, God will lift me up. God will say I'm pleased with that humility. I'm pleased with that humble heart. And I'm going to bless you because you first humbled yourself. Humble yourself under the hand of the almighty God that he might exalt you in due time.

A lot of us need to join him. And while I'm at it, let me just say apologies don't have the word if in them. I'm trying to help you.

We got all these people out here. How many times have you heard somebody say if I did something? That's not an apology.

That's you trying to be in denial. If doesn't belong in an apology ever. I apologize because I know I did or said something wrong. I know I injured you.

I know I tricked you. Whatever it is, I know it, not if. You ever seen people try to give these blanket apologies? If I did anything to any of y'all.

Ever seen people try to do a blanket just all y'all covered in this one statement. If I did anything to you, I'm sorry. That's not an apology because if is not a preposition of certainty.

It's a preposition of uncertainty. An apology is not uncertain. An apology is targeted.

It is specific. I know what I did to you and I know it was wrong. I know what I said and I know it was wrong. And for you who would say but I really, I know we had some skirmish but I really can't recall it. Then here's what the Bible tells you.

Go. If you know your brother has all against you. Matthew chapter 5, I'm in the book. If while you're worshiping you have your gift at the altar, Jesus said. And there you remember that there's someone who has all against you.

He said leave your gift there. Go and talk to the person who has an issue with you. See the Bible is real clear. Some things we know about because we're supposed to engage people because of what they did to us. But if you did something to someone else and maybe you're not clear.

You ever seen anybody change up on you and you don't quite know what it was about? That happens. That happens.

You say what? Acting like I did something. Okay, you can have that uncertainty.

We've all been there. Then the Bible says go to them and say it's clear there's something between us. I need you to help me understand how I've been an offense to you. See, that way I'm giving them permission to tell me exactly how I hurt them. So even if you think you're uncertain, you're not in the clear.

The Bible says you got to go to them. Don't say she got a problem. I don't know what it is.

I hope she did. Some of y'all just your head just wobbling and just defying. I don't know what her problem is.

She needs to go somewhere and get herself because she probably need a therapist. I don't know what it is. You got to go and say, would you help me understand? Clearly there's something. And every now and then when you go to somebody, at first they'll try to play it off because they're surprised you came. And so you ever had somebody say, ah, everything all right? Well, clearly it's not all right by the very answer. I ain't no problem with you.

Then why are you talking like that and looking all funny? Make them help you get it straight. Go to them.

Be proactive. If you go to them and they are in denial, at least you've made every effort and you leave them by saying, well, listen, if you ever decide you really want us to get this reconciliation done, please get back to me and let's handle it. At that point, you've done all you can. You can't make someone reconcile with you who refuses to reconcile.

I'm trying to give you all sides to it because I don't want you to leave here under false condemnation. Sometimes people need to get right, but they won't. Some people want to just have you stew and they just want to put you off in a corner somewhere and never deal with it. You're not supposed to live under that kind of bondage, but you are supposed to make every effort. I counsel with couples and strange couples all the time and I help them understand you can't just leave this where it is. You do what you can follow peace with all men. That's what the Bible teaches you to do.

Follow peace, find a path of peace and pursue it as best you can. Now, I can't make you reconcile if you're going to keep your eyebrows all up in your head, your eyes rolling all around in the back of your head. Okay, I can't make you deal with it, but at least I'm making myself available.

If we need to talk, please get in touch with me. I'm happy to deal with this because I want us both to be blessed by the Lord. See, you got to let God work on your heart because in the early stages sometimes you don't want them to be blessed. See, there you all go. All right, I'm going to make you pray.

How many of you all know what I just said? There have been times with your saved, sanctified self that you didn't want them blessed by the Lord. You didn't want them blessed at all.

You wanted them dead. Come on, I'm trying to help. Sometimes you want God to get them and you want him to give you a front row seat.

Oh, I'm trying to help somebody. I want a front row seat with popcorn and a big old 32 ounce drink and just popcorn and drinking. But let God work on you during your 20 year season.

I don't care how long yours is. Let God speak to you and help you see you can't want to prosper and condemn somebody else. You're not the person who holds them. One of the cornerstone foundational principles in your Bible is vengeance is mine. I will repay, says the Lord. If you're not the Lord, you don't have the right to exact vengeance. He says, it belongs to me.

I'll do the pay. And so here he is going down. He's humbled himself and then look at, look at verse six. The messengers returned saying, we came to your brother Esau. He coming to meet you.

Watch this and 400 of them. I told you sometimes H U N I D. You go through enough trouble is hunted. He come to meet you with 400 people. Verse seven, so Jacob was greatly afraid. Of course he's afraid. Last thing he heard his brother want to kill him. So he's thinking this might be the day. This might be my last day on earth.

This may be it. He'd been nursing this for 20 years. And he is going to pop me good. He doesn't know otherwise, but he has humbled himself. He has said, I'm your servant. And I'm coming to meet you because I want to give myself over into your hands.

He's doing everything he can to humble himself. Be encouraged today. If there's someone you have wronged, God wants to help you make it right.

If you've made a mess, you can still make amends. And God will bless you for having humbled yourself under his mighty hand. If you need prayer today for unresolved conflict in your life or for any reason at all, the Destined for Victory ministry team would like to join you in prayer. From our homepage, pastorpaul.net, use the contact feature to let us know how we can pray for you. And while you're there, be sure to ask for Pastor Paul's monthly letter of encouragement, yours at no cost or obligation.

And here's something else for you. In appreciation of your generous gift today, Pastor Paul will send you his booklet, Trusting God in Scary Times. When the Lord told Abraham to send Hagar and Ishmael away from the family home, what followed was a great deal of uncertainty and angst.

God had promised Abraham that he'd make a nation out of his firstborn son, but circumstantially, it looked pretty bleak. You may have times in your life when fear instead of faith tries to take the wheel. Well, in this helpful resource, Pastor Paul walks you through Genesis chapter 21 and shows you how to rely on the faithfulness of God in the darkest of moments. That's the booklet, Trusting God in Scary Times, our gift to you this month by request for your generous gift to Destined for Victory. Please call 855-339-5500 or visit pastorpaul.net to make a safe and secure donation online. You can also mail your gift, our address, Destined for Victory, Post Office Box 1767, Fremont, California 94538.

Once again, Destined for Victory, Box 1767, Fremont, California 94538. We all have good opportunities, but we all also have God opportunities. Fulfill as many of the good opportunities as you can, but make sure you don't miss any of the God opportunities. When a thing is a God thing, you want to make it a priority. That's next time in Pastor Paul Shepherd's message, Ceasing the Opportunities Before You. But until then, remember, he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are Destined for Victory.