Dealing with Heartbreak and Loss (cont'd)

Although God still works miracles today, we are not guaranteed a miraculous and positive answer every time we pray, but God promises to give us His grace, peace, and strength to overcome the heartbreak and loss life sometimes brings. Sometimes God will change your circumstances and sometimes He'll change your perspective. You're listening to Destined for Victory with Pastor Paul Shepherd.

We're always glad to have you with us. Are you asking God for a miracle today, facing a challenge from which only He can deliver you? Well today, Pastor Paul takes you straight to the Word of God to offer a timely reminder, sometimes the miracle is not what God does for you, but what He does in you. Today's message comes your way next, so stay with us or visit pastorpaul.net to listen to Destined for Victory on Demand.

You can also download the podcast at Google or wherever you enjoy your podcasts. But right now, here's Pastor Paul with today's Destined for Victory message, dealing with heartbreak and loss. Sometimes living right will get you hurt, sometimes living right will get you killed, sometimes living right will put you through hell, sometimes you would be better off circumstantially if you tell the lie your job tells you to tell, but you say, I'm a child of God, I don't lie for anybody. And that'll get you fired, but you gotta know, even when circumstances don't go your way, as long as God is on your side, things are gonna work out one way or the other. And so God still works miracles today, but although He still works miracles today, we are not guaranteed a miraculous and positive answer every time we pray.

That's what I need to help you understand, write this down, they're gonna keep it on the screen for 30 seconds or so. Although God still works miracles today, we are not guaranteed a miraculous and positive answer every time we pray. But God promises to give us His grace, peace, and strength to overcome the heartbreak and loss life sometimes brings. You need to understand that, sometimes you get the miracle, praise God when you get the miracle, enjoy, testify to it when you get the miracle.

But when God's plan does not call for the miracle, when you don't get that miraculous provision that you expected, just know God is still committed to you and His commitment is gonna manifest by His grace. What is grace? Grace means it's sufficiency. Whatever you are going through, grace is enough of an endowment to get you through it. Folks, don't devalue grace. Grace is more than unmerited favor, it is that, but it is the endowment.

Think of a financial endowment. It is an endowment that guarantees you're gonna get through what you gotta get through. So you can be going through a hellish situation, but if God gives you grace, that grace is gonna get you all the way through it. Then the other thing He promises you is peace. The peace of God, Paul said in Philippians 4, that passes understanding will what?

Will guard your heart and mind. I love, God will give you a peace that'll stand guard. Crazy trying to jump on you, but peace is standing guard. Crazy trying to envelop you, but peace says, no, no, I'm not gonna let that happen. You can be going through something so rough, you look at yourself and say, I don't believe I haven't lost my mind.

How is it that you're still standing? God gave you grace and He gave you peace. And the other thing He does is He gives us strength. That's why Paul said to the Ephesians, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. God will give you the power to push through every wall, every mountain, every obstacle, every enemy. He'll give you strength to overcome whatever you have to overcome.

And so I wanna let you know, even when you don't get the miracle, you gonna get what you need. And He's gonna bring you out into a better place when He brings you through. So look at what happened in David's experience, go back to 2 Samuel 12, now look at verse 18. So the baby died, and then look at the servant. And the servants of David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead. For they said, indeed, while the child was alive, we spoke to him and he wouldn't heed our voice.

How can we tell him that the child is dead? He may do some harm. And I guess they thinking either he'll harm himself or he might harm us because we told him something he didn't wanna hear. Verse 19, when David saw that his servants were whispering, you know you've seen folk whispering and you know they talking about you.

He saw them over there whispering. David perceived that the child was dead. Therefore, David said to his servants, is the child dead?

And they said, he is dead. Look at verse 20. So David arose, came to tell somebody, get up. I know it's been tough. I know it's been difficult.

I know you have experienced more pain than you ever imagined you would, especially in this season of your life. But I came to tell you, this word comes to say, get up, rise. Because things have gone wrong, but God is moving you forward.

Arise is what I wanna tell you. David rose from the ground, look at this, washed and anointed himself and changed his clothes. You ever been depressed and just getting you to take a bath or a shower or something is difficult for your family? They're like, well, yeah, why don't you just go on in there and just, we'll fix the meal while you shower. You got to be mindful, there's other folks around here. You got to help us out. Even if you don't care, we care. But if you're not careful, you can get to that place in life where nothing matters. I came to talk to somebody before I wrap up, hallelujah, anyhow. I came to talk to somebody that life still goes on and God still has a plan. See, we love talking about Jeremiah 29, 11. I know the plans I have for you, saith the Lord. It's a wonderful passage.

Do yourself a favor, though, and understand the context. God's people are in exile. They are prisoner in another land. They cannot function as they would like and God said, you're going to be there a while longer. But after 70 years, he said, that's when we get to, I know the plans I have for you. Some of you are in your 70 years and you don't feel the plans because you've been hurting in some sort of exile, going through some sort of trial or challenge that won't go away. Some of you have had family drama, marriage drama, kids drama that won't go away. Some of you have had career drama, that money drama that won't go away. And you love God and God loves you. But you're still broke.

You're still fooling with a hateful ex. You're dealing with cantankerous people, whatever the case might be. And God is allowing you to go through it because God will use even those difficult seasons to teach you lessons. There's some lessons you can't learn in prosperity.

Oh, but you learn them in poverty. There's some things you can't learn whenever, oh, what a beautiful morning, oh, what a beautiful day. I have a wonderful feeling everything's going my way.

Some lessons you only learn when you're in heartbreak and loss. And God said through Jeremiah, after 70 years, I'm bringing you out and I know the plans I have for you. I'm not making it up as I go. I'm going to bless you and I'm going to bring you out of this thing. So I need to tell somebody, the Lord says to you, rise, get up, wash up, anoint yourself with some oil, you're ashy, put some oil on you. That's what we said growing up.

Y'all remember that? Your parents said, you're ashy, come on over here. Back in the day, they were cold blooded.

Sometimes they'd lick their finger and take, some of y'all never experienced that. I said, all right, mom, I'll take care of myself. Thank you very much. And he changed his clothes. Changing your clothes suggests you're getting ready to go somewhere. That's what somebody's got to do right now. Stop acting like life is ending for you. Stop putting on grave clothes. Yes, it's tough, but you're not about to die. God's not through with you yet. Sometimes you're going through a period, you ever been through a period, you can't even see light at the end of the tunnel.

You can't even imagine light. It's so dark in your life. But God said to tell you, no, no, it's not over.

I'm still taking you somewhere. And so he changed his clothes, and look at this. He went into the house of the Lord and worshiped.

There's your hallelujah anyhow. This man just lost his baby boy. But God said, no, no, I'm still worthy of worship.

That's where Job was. He lost 10 kids and all of his wealth. And with tears, no doubt, streaming down his face, he said the Lord is to be blessed. I came to tell somebody you owe God praise when you're crying. You owe him worship when it is hurting in an unbelievable way. Worship isn't a function of feeling. Worship sometimes has to be a function of your deep-seated commitment to God and to the fact that he's not finished in your life. He went into the house of the Lord and he worshiped. Then, look at the next sentence. Then he went to his own house.

And when he requested it, they set food before him, and he ate. I need to tell somebody you got to nourish yourself. You got to be prepared because you're moving forward.

You got to act in your own best interest. That self-pity, that thing that will cause you to sabotage what God is doing is not your friend. Coming up next, the rest of today's message dealing with heartbreak and loss with Pastor Paul Shepherd, Senior Pastor Destiny Christian Fellowship in Fremont, California. If you've never stopped by our website, pastorpaul.net, I invite you to do so today. You'll find all of Pastor Paul's recent messages on demand, plus a host of great resources at our online store, including books and DVD messages from Pastor Paul. You can learn more about the ministry and about all the great things Friends like you are doing through your prayers and financial support. It's all at pastorpaul.net. And if you love listening to Pastor Paul, we know you'll enjoy watching selected video clips by subscribing to him on YouTube.

For more details and links to all of Pastor Paul's social media, visit pastorpaul.net. God invites us to make our requests known to him, but we need to make sure our requests don't become demands. Here's Pastor Paul with the rest of today's Destined for Victory message, dealing with heartbreak and loss. So self-pity is not to be befriended. I sense somebody is watching me or listening to me right now, and your life is full of self-pity. But I came to tell you, God said, you got to nourish yourself. Because I've got plans for you. I'm not going to feed you, but you got to feed yourself.

You got to make sure that you put the food in your own mouth. He did that. Remember that with Elijah, when Elijah had that bad experience the day after Mount Carmel, and he got word that Jezebel had put a contract out on him? And he said, Lord, just take me out of here. Do me a favor.

Just take me right now. I'm going to lean up against this tree and sleep, and don't let me wake up. Let me wake up in your presence, Lord. Get me out of here. But he woke up.

He's still leaning against the tree. But God had sent an angel who left him some bread and some water, and the Lord said, eat. I'm not going to feed you.

You put it in your own mouth. Because you're my servant, and you got to know I'm not done. You ever seen a sporting experience where it looks like somebody is, oh, there's no way they're going to win this game, no way they're going to win this match, whatever it is? I'll never forget years ago when Serena Williams was a much younger tennis player. She was just so far behind, had dropped a set, and was about to drop the second set that would have caused her to be defeated, and it was in a major tournament.

I don't remember the year. But she was down maybe 5-1. All the other opponent had to do was win one more game in that set, and it would have been done. And Serena came back. I remember her being interviewed, and they said, how did that happen? She said, well, I was so far behind.

I just said to myself, well, let me at least win this game. And she won that next one. She said, okay, it's 5-2. She said, well, I might as well go on and try to win the next one, 5-3.

Let me see what I can do, 5-4. Next thing you know, she had won that set, and she won the whole thing because she didn't give up. I came to tell somebody, you cannot give up. God is still at work. He arose, he washed himself, anointed himself, changed his clothes, ate the food.

Look at verse 21. Then the servant said to him, wait now, what is this that you've done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive. Now the child dead, you get up and eat.

He said, while the child was alive, I fasted and wept for, I said, who can tell whether the Lord will be gracious to me, that the child may live? See, it's okay for you to make your request known to God. He tells you that you can ask God, you can request a miracle any time.

Never feel like I have no right. You can ask God for, he's your daddy. And say, would you please do this for me? But if the answer comes back, no. You got to trust him. And he said, I did that because who knew what God was going to do?

He said, but now, verse 23, but now he is dead, why should I fast? Oh, I came to tell somebody, that relationship is dead. That opportunity is dead. That thing you envisioned is dead.

Whatever it might be. And so you've got to reckon with that. That is a done deal, but here's the good news.

He said, since I can't bring him back, I'm going to go to him and he won't return to me. But I'm going to move forward. I'm going to live the rest of my life in a quality way, David is saying. And one day when my eyes close in death, I'll be reunited with my baby boy. I came to tell somebody, there is hope beyond what you see. There is hope beyond how you feel. There is hope beyond what the circumstances are saying to you. Yes, so this opportunity is gone, but God knows there's something else you don't even see yet.

You got to quit crying about what's not going to change. Let the past be the past. You know what happened with Adam and Eve? They lost one son to murder and the murderer was their other son. They lost Abel because Cain, his brother, killed him. That could have been the end of them, but keep reading the Bible and you'll come to a verse that says Adam took his wife into his arms and knew her again, meaning they had intimacy and she conceived and God gave them a Seth, a child named Seth, meaning God is not done.

Yeah, that boy is dead. Don't worry about it because he's with the Lord now, but here's what you need to know. The Lord has blessed you and you're going to move forward in your life. I came to tell somebody it's time for you to renew your hope and renew your strength and to know that, yes, it's been tough and it's okay to cry. When you need to cry, go ahead and cry and don't surround yourself with people who try to keep you from mourning.

You know some of the saints need to learn. Let people cry. Hand them tissue and let them go for it.

Stop trying to say, stop all that crying and stop reading them your favorite faith scriptures. There's a time for that, but there's another time to just let somebody weep. Let them get it out. Let them feel the pain and you can have the ministry of presence. Somebody missed what I just said.

I got to say that again. There is a ministry of presence that people need. Sometimes they don't need what you got to say.

They just need you to be there holding their hand or giving them a hug and walking with them through what they have to go through. Jesus was in the garden and his heart was breaking because he knew what he was facing and he left some disciples and he took three, Peter, James, and John, a little farther into the Garden of Gethsemane and what did he say? He said, all I want you to do is be here with me. Watch with me. Stay alive and alert while I go through this. You can't help me. You can't preach me out of this. You can't speak it out of existence.

We need to quit it. We modern Christians are always trying to speak something out of existence, into and out of existence. Life doesn't always work that way. Every now and then you can speak and something will happen.

That's great. Enjoy it when God gives you that. Sometimes you can speak and all you hear is an echo. Oh, come on somebody.

I need you all to be real. You trying to speak deliverance. I speak power. I speak as I speak, speak, speak.

You speak all you want. There are times when you don't have deliverance in your mouth but God will give you the grace. He'll give you the peace and he'll give you the strength to go through and when you come out, you come out a winner. You come out a winner and you come out with a testimony and God will give you a power so that you can turn around and help somebody else.

That's what I've learned. God has brought me through some rough things but God has now brought me through it so that I can take what I learned find somebody else who needs the same lesson and help them get through it. That's going to happen in your life. See, sometimes your words aren't weighted because you haven't been through anything but I dare you to go through it and come all the way out of it. God will put weight into your words. When you speak, it matters to people.

People will say, boy, I really needed you to share what you just said. You didn't even know you said something but God used you to minister to them. That's why you can't always have sunshine.

That's why you got to have some rain. That's why you got to go through some storms because God is going to use you to help somebody else in their time of need and I want to let you know that you can say hallelujah anyhow, no matter what you go through, whether you're being frustrated like Hannah was, whether you are being labeled like Bartimaeus was, whether you are disillusioned like Mary and Martha and Joseph and Job or whether you are like David, you don't get your prayers answered the way you want them answered. The fact of the matter is God's still at work. Just because you didn't get this result, God's going to give you that result and he's going to bring you through it. So the Lord is to be praised in good times and in bad. When you're happy and when you're sad, God is worthy of our praise. Give the Lord some praise right where you are. Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say rejoice.

The Apostle Paul wrote those words from a prison cell, a testament to his complete trust in God and a great reminder to all of us to love and worship God for who he is, not for what he does. Thanks so much for being here for today's Destined for Victory with Pastor Paul Shepherd. To hear any recent message on demand, including today's teaching, dealing with heartbreak and loss, visit pastorpaul.net. Once again, that's pastorpaul.net.

Did you know that less than half of all Americans identify themselves as members of a church, a synagogue or mosque or any other religious organization? That may sound discouraging, but Pastor Paul has drawn a different conclusion. In his DVD message, Influencers for Christ, he says this news should actually excite us because it means we have millions of people with whom we can share the love and goodness of Jesus. That's Pastor Paul Shepherd's DVD message, Influencers for Christ, and it's our gift to you by request for your generous donation to Destined for Victory. Call 855-339-5500 or visit pastorpaul.net to make a safe and secure donation online. And you can also mail your gift to Destined for Victory, Post Office Box 1767, Fremont, California 94538. Again, our address is Destined for Victory, Box 1767, Fremont, California 94538. And if you need prayer today, the Destined for Victory ministry team would like to join you in prayer. From the homepage at pastorpaul.net, use the Contact Us feature to let us know how we can pray for you.

And while you're there, be sure to ask for Pastor Paul's monthly letter of encouragement, yours at no cost or obligation. That's what I'm trying to tell you. You still need partnership. You still need companionship. So find the partners God's going to raise up. Oh, they used to be my best friend.

Well, they're not anymore, clearly. When people show you who they are, believe them. Do yourself a favor, believe them. That's tomorrow when Pastor Paul Shepherd shares his message, why throw a praise party here? Until then, remember, he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are Destined for Victory. ...