The Power of Your Words (cont'd)

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That's PastorPaul.net and subscribe to the podcast at Spotify, at Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get yours. Now, here's Pastor Paul with today's Destined for Victory message, The Power of Your Words. And we can also all think of another category of folk who spoke words that hurt deeply, words that wounded. And we remember both categories of people. You might have forgotten a whole lot of folk you've run into in your lifetime, but those two categories you're going to remember.

The folk that helped you with what they said, and the folk that harmed you. I can think of encouraging words, so can you. Somebody said something, something timely, and they said it right. Shift over now to Colossians 4, the next chapter over, verse 6, and you'll find Paul saying, Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. That's the target. Learn to speak words of faith and conviction.

What are those? Those are words that are full of grace, and they're seasoned with salt. I love that term, seasoned with salt.

He's saying, if you want to speak right, make sure it's full of grace, because God is full of grace. He said, and make sure it's seasoned with salt. Make it palatable for people. You don't want to use your mouth as a weapon.

You want to use it as a tool that helps people, that inspires people. Season with salt. Think about your food.

You don't want somebody to just throw something in the water, boil it for a while, pull it out the water, and throw it on your plate. What is this? That broccoli.

I don't want that. Shake a little something in there. Put a little, put a little. See, give me a little something, a little bowl of something I can dip.

I need a little help with this. Seasoned with salt, full of grace. When a meal's prepared right, it goes down better.

Goes down better. You can eat that. I want more of that. When we grew up, we grew up in church where after church, we ate at the church, and sometimes they would let various people cook, and we knew who the cooks were in the church, who knew how to season it right. Oh, come on, some of y'all, I can't see some witnesses in the house. You knew the ones that knew, and we got so good at it as kids, we say, who cooking today? And when they said, oh, Sister Melvin's in there, oh, Sister Mize, and they said, oh, yeah, that's the crew right there. We going to get that plate, because they going to have it hooked up. They knew how to put the mac and macaroni and cheese.

But there were some other names if they called those names. We say, Ma, can we go home after church? She said, I didn't cook anything.

I said, I'll eat some cereal when I get home. I don't want what's in that kitchen at the church, called the wrong folk cooking today. And your words need to be palatable to people.

Something that people can use. And Paul said, make sure it's full of grace. Make sure it's seasoned with salt, because we all know words can hurt, and words can heal. My wife and I, we were on a trip in the early part of our season of transition, and very, very low, very down. And we went to visit Bishop Copeland, and we pulled up at the church, and before we saw Bishop, one of his assistants came and met us. They looked at us, and a big smile broke out on his face, and they threw his arm out wide, and he hugged us both, and he said, welcome, you're home now. He didn't know how important that was to feel welcomed and loved, and he just embraced us, and he said, you're home.

He didn't know how that lifted us up. But a seasoned word, full of grace, can make the difference in your life. One of my lowest days of my entire life, my wife was in the shower that morning, and when she came out of the shower, as she was telling off, she said, honey, while I was showering, the Lord told me that you're a man after his own heart, and that he's going to get you through what you're going through. And she didn't know what those words did to me, but they took a man that was dying on the inside, and gave life, and affirmed what I knew to be true, but sometimes you can know what's true. Everything around you seems to militate against what you know is true. Sometimes you need somebody to tell you what you already know, but they need to say it in a way that's full of grace, and seasoned with salt, and it can make the difference in your life.

But who said it? Why? Because it meant that much to you. Could have been a teacher when you were growing up. Everybody else treating you like you're an idiot, but you had one teacher that told you you're smart, not feeling great about the way you look, but some adult come by and call you handsome, or you girls pretty, and you were little, but you remembered to this day. I remember standing in the schoolyard one day. We're lining up, see, old-fashioned school. Y'all young folk don't know nothing about this. We old heads, we lined up in the schoolyard.

Come on, some of you lined up students. We lined up in the schoolyard, and the teachers would come out in the schoolyard, and walk the line, and say good morning to you, and I remember Miss Howard walked by me, and she said, good morning, handsome. Y'all heard I called her name. I was in third grade. I'm in my 50s now, but I still remember that sister walked up to me and said, I don't care what the devil is whispering in your ear.

You handsome. Words make a difference, so since they can heal or hurt, you might as well make up in your mind, I'm going to speak words that heal. There's an art to speaking words full of gray season with salt. Sometimes they're in a bad place, and you can't really speak positively about where they are, but don't worry about it. You can speak about where they're going. In effect, you can say, I see you in your future, and you're going to end up all right. Some of y'all need to do that with your kids. You can't always talk about where they are, not in good terms.

Come on, somebody. Right now, I don't have much to say good about where you are, doing your best knucklehead imitation, but that's all right. You don't have to speak about where they are. You can speak about where they're going, and we need to learn that. Don't master speaking about the obvious. Don't master that. Some folk, that's what they specialize in, speaking the obvious.

I don't need you to tell me what I already know. You ever had somebody walk up to you? You gain weight, huh? How's that helping them? Come on, somebody.

We got to learn this now. What do you think that's doing to help them? They may be going through some season, and maybe they're a little too dependent on food, but they're fighting off some psychological things. Food can be a pretty good friend when you're going through some trouble. See, some of y'all don't know you've been skinny all your life. Some of y'all can't witness, like some of us who have had weight challenges, so some of y'all just sit there because you can't relate. You've been 137 pounds your whole life and all that stuff.

We ain't even talking to you. You just sit there and mind your business while we kind of... You can go through a season where you're eating everything in sight, and if somebody's going through that and it is showing up in terms of increased weight, they don't need you walking up to them, huh? You gain weight.

That's not helpful. Find something you can't compliment, and if you can't find anything physically that you like, just hug them. Just love on them. Hey, just let me give you a hug. Saw you over here. Just wanted to run over and hug you. I love you. Bless you, but then learn the art of the compliment. Don't say, oh, I just wanted to hug you. I bless you with your fat self. Don't do that to them.

And here's the other thing some folk would do. You're losing weight, getting your work done. Some people, not anybody in this service, people in the other service, would come up and they say, oh, you're losing weight, huh? And you say, yeah, yeah, working on it, whatever. Oh, yeah, because I tell you, I was wondering what you were going to do, God. For a while there I didn't know what I said to my friend.

What are you doing? That's not seasoned with salt. Just give them the first part. You're losing, oh, boy, you look great. God bless you. Leave it.

Don't add in the rest of that stuff. You see somebody with a new hairstyle. Some of you sisters, you got hooked up. You went to the right place. Learn to walk in and say, girl, I love that style.

Wow, that is cute. Leave it. Don't say, yeah, because I was wondering where you were going to get your hair done. I was about to give you a card to the place where I go, God.

Nobody asked for your little raggedy card. Be glad she finally found the right hookup. Yes, she went through some trials and sometimes you see the trials in their hairstyle. Every now and then you tell somebody going through, look at that girl's hair, she going through. But don't tell her that.

You pray for her and you encourage her and tell her God going to get you through what you're going through. Still ahead, the second half of today's Destin for Victory message with Pastor Paul Shepherd, who is Senior Pastor at Destiny Christian Fellowship in Fremont, California. First, we want to thank all of you who sustained Destin for Victory with your prayers and financial support, gifts that help Pastor Paul share the gospel all over the world. Destin for Victory is a listener supported ministry. So as God leads, please prayerfully consider making a gift to us today.

Give online securely at pastorpaul.net or call 855-339-5500. Proverbs 18 21 says, death and life are in the power of the tongue. Let's learn how to speak life in the rest of today's message, the power of words. Once again, here's Pastor Paul.

Are you hearing what I'm saying? We got to learn how to speak words of life and not death. If you're walking by faith, sometimes you talk about where they're going, not where they are. You got to be like that angel that showed up that day when Gideon was threshing wheat in a wine press, which means he was acting like a wimp scared to death of the enemies of Israel, who had been oppressing them for years. But God's ready to bring deliverance and he chooses a wimp named Gideon. But notice that God refuses to call him what he's acting like. So the angel shows up and said, Hey, almighty warrior, the Lord is with you. That's what you got to learn to say.

Quit saying your wimpy thing. Call him a mighty warrior because that's the way God sees them. Call him strong because that's the way God sees them. Let the weak say I'm strong. And they'll learn to say I'm strong if you tell them they're strong before they think they're strong. And we have to learn the art of speaking words of faith and conviction. You say, but there are times when when you do have to speak hard words to people.

Absolutely true. In fact, the Bible says in the book of Proverbs, faithful are the wounds of a friend. But when a friend cuts you, they cut you to heal.

They're like a doctor. They're cutting you to perform surgery that'll make you better. When a enemy cuts you, they're cutting you to kill you.

So you have to learn. Don't think everything negative is coming from an enemy. Not everybody who cuts you hate you. Not everybody who compliments you loves you.

Oh, I just went deep. Sometimes compliments come from an enemy setting you up. But sometimes wounds come from a friend who's helping you heal. And they have to tell you something that's hard. But how do you do it? You make sure your words are full of grace.

You make sure they're seasoned with salt. You say something affirming before you say something cutting. Say, I love you. I'm believing God's best for you. You mean a whole lot to me. I thank God for you.

You say something that's helpful so that they can know clearly where you are, what angle you're coming from. I'm believing God's best for you. But there's something I need to talk to you about. That's putting anesthesia. You don't do surgery without anesthesia first. Come on, you're going to cut me. Shoot me with something first. I'll never forget one time I went to a dentist and the dentist was so busy talking to a friend, somebody in the room, and she was going to do a filling on me and she was just talking. And she shot me with a little bit of Novocain or what have you.

And, you know, you're supposed to get that little time to settle in. And I always instruct my dentist, look, I don't like pain, so you can shoot me as much as you want. I don't want them. I don't go to folks who say, well, I'm concerned. I don't want you to be numb too long. I know, pastor, you probably got another appointment in a couple of hours. You got to talk to people. So I said, don't worry about it.

I will mumble to them. You shoot me with what you need to shoot me with. Because when you're done with it, I can handle the needle. Needle's not a problem. When you're done, I don't want to feel a thing you're doing.

I want to be able to go to sleep. I don't need you looking at, I don't want you numb, so I'm just going to give you a little bit. No, no, no, no, no, no, not the kid. And she shot me and then she talked for about a minute and then she started rearing the thing back and grabbed the dresser.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. I know you're enjoying that conversation, but I am not numb. Keep that trail away from me till you give me some more stuff. Shoot me with whatever you got and the deeper you got to go, shoot me all the more.

Take me to within an inch of my life. I don't care. And you do that when you got to say hurtful things or challenging things to your friend, your brother or sister in Christ. But you're doing it to heal. You're inflicting faithful wounds. You want them to get better. You want them to be more of what God wants them to be. And so you're trying to be helpful in this process.

That's what you want. So I'm not saying you blow smoke and you make people feel great all the time. There are times you have to say something cutting, but make sure it's full of grace. If you got to rebuke somebody, make sure you're not doing it from a place of superiority. Like you're all that.

You never had a trouble. Ought to be ashamed of yourself. Can't even understand. Don't treat people like that. Haven't you been through something? You might not have gone through what they've gone through, but you got some stuff. Help them.

Tell them. I know what that's like. I know what it's like to have a rough time. I know what it's like. Relate as much as you can. Don't be superior.

Just acting like you're all that. And from your perch of perfection, you are looking down on them. And so learn to relate to people. That's what Jesus did. He got down on that level. He could relate. He could be touched with the feelings of their infirmities. And if you're going to represent him, you got to learn how to do that with people.

But in learning from Jabez's mother, we want to learn that God's grace is sufficient, and we want to learn to change the way we speak. Stop speaking doubt when you need to speak faith. You got a sister or brother who's struggling with an illness, and the doctor's not giving them great reports and all that sort of thing and what have you. Don't show up telling them you got an uncle who died with what they have. That's not going to help.

Say, listen, I don't care what the doctors say. We thank God for what they're doing. They're doing the best they can, but I just don't believe God's finished with you yet. So we're going to pray, and we're going to believe God that he's going to bring you through this thing.

I believe you got some more years on you. When you see somebody trying to die prematurely, because sometimes they lose hope, and you see them checking out, and you got to rescue them from that. Say, no, no, no, don't die when you can't help it, but let's live till you die. Come on, let's believe God. Come on, let's get it done. Tell them we got to get out this house. Come on, let's take a walk.

Let me take you somewhere. Put some faith. Put some hope. Put some life into them. Pump them full of something they don't have yet. They already got to spare. Don't bring more of that.

Well, have you written out your program for your funeral yet? Speak life over people. They're dying on their own.

They don't need your help dying. They need somebody to speak life. Compliment people. Just the art of being nice, especially Christians. Sycamene Christians.

What in the world you think you're representing? Certainly not Jesus. He was a friend of publicans and sinners. That's what they called him, a friend. Publicans and sinners.

Love that phraseology. That means there was a group of folk that sinners called sinners. You know you're a sinner when your sinner friend say, you know, you need to go to church. And Jesus was a friend. When they saw Jesus, they weren't running. But when we see Christians a lot of times, you see them coming, you say, oh, no. You want to reverse that. You don't want people running from you.

You want them running towards you. Oh, let me go see that sister because she always has something good to say. She always want to pray, want to encourage, want to help, want to strengthen.

That's what you want to be in that category where folk love what you have to offer. What emanates from you is life and hope and peace and joy. You know, Pastor Paul said something today that I think we all need to hear again. Sometimes we need to talk to people about where they're going, not about where they are.

When the people in our lives make a mistake and they know they made a mistake, they don't need to hear what they already know. Instead, they need to be encouraged, to be forgiven, and to be reminded that this is not the end of their story. Now, if you need prayer today, if your story has taken a wrong turn, the Destined for Victory ministry team would like to help. Visit pastorpaul.net, click Contact Us, and share your prayer request so that we can join you in prayer. While you're there, be sure to sign up for Pastor Paul's monthly letter of encouragement, yours at no cost or obligation. And we have a great resource to share with you today, Pastor Paul Shepherd's booklet, Turning Your Test Into a Testimony. God will often use your challenges, even your own mistakes, to draw you closer to Him and to equip you to help others who have trials and tough times of their own.

When you cling to your faith during tough times, you'll find that your mess will become a message, and your test will become a testimony. That's Turning Your Test Into a Testimony, a booklet from Pastor Paul, and our gift to you by request for your generous donation to Destined for Victory. Please call 855-339-5500 or visit pastorpaul.net to make a safe and secure donation online. You can also mail your gift to Destined for Victory, Post Office Box 1767, Fremont, CA 94538.

Again, our address is Destined for Victory, Box 1767, Fremont, CA 94538. Well, if you've been building monuments to misery instead of altars of adoration, maybe all you need is a wardrobe change. Here's Pastor Paul. I'm going to provide for you. I'm going to give you a crown of beauty. I'm going to give you the oil of gladness, and I'm going to give you a garment of praise.

Now, what's your job? You have to take off what you got on now so you can put on what He's got for you. That's tomorrow when Pastor Paul Shepherd shares his message in need of a super-sized blessing. Until then, though, remember, He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are Destined for Victory.