Built to Last, Part 2

The first building block for some of the relationships God's going to bring into your life so that you can do His will is you're going to have to develop the desire and the ability to walk with other people in oneness. When two people get married, the Bible says they become one flesh, but the concept of oneness applies to other relationships as well. Hello and welcome to Destined for Victory with Pastor Paul Shepherd, Senior Pastor at Destiny Christian Fellowship in Fremont, California. Always a pleasure to have you with us. What does it mean to walk in oneness with another person?

How can you achieve this oneness while maintaining all the things that make you, you? Answers come your way next as Pastor Paul takes us once again to the early life of King David, in particular, his close friendship with Jonathan, the son of the man David would one day replace as King of Israel. Be sure to visit pastorpaul.net to hear any recent Destined for Victory message on demand. That's pastorpaul.net.

You can also subscribe to the podcast at Spotify at Apple podcast or wherever you get yours. Now, here's Pastor Paul today's Destined for Victory message built to last. I want us to begin to look at what happens with David. The Bible says here that the Lord blesses David with the first of what are going to be several significant relationships he will have as a young and older adult.

This is the first significant relationship that he is going to have. Now, take a good look at what happens here. The Bible says that after David finished talking with Saul, Saul came to David after seeing him defeat this giant and inquires, who are you? David tells him, well, I'm just the son of one of your servants named Jesse, and he now has the attention of the king and the king moves him into his palace for the purpose of becoming his armor bearer. And as David begins to now live life in and around the palace, he becomes exposed to a young man named Jonathan, who is Saul's son. And Saul and David begin to get to know one another.

And a wonderful thing happens. The Bible says that the two of them become one in spirit. It says that Jonathan and David become one in spirit and that Jonathan begins to love David as himself.

He becomes one with Jonathan. Interesting language for a platonic relationship and to be sure this is a platonic God honoring relationship. I know we live in days where you got to stop and explain it. There was a time you would just sort of take that for granted, but no longer, no longer we got to stop and explain that God has a plan and purpose for us to be in meaningful relationship with people. Some of those relationships will be persons of the same sex, but they are to be platonic God honoring relationships. We are to not redefine marriage. We are to not change God's standard.

God has a plan and a purpose for us to live our lives. He wants you to be intimately involved with people of the same sex as well as, if you're going to get married, a person of the opposite sex. But there is a clear teaching in the word of God as to how we ought to live our lives and honor God as we deal with people in relationship. And it is not to be sexual in nature outside of the confounds of marriage. So to be very clear, this is a God honoring platonic relationship.

But notice the intimacy of it. The Bible says that these two young men, red blooded men, have a wonderful affinity so much so that the language used is the language that we are accustomed to thinking of in terms of marriage. We, of course, know from Genesis that when God created the institution of marriage, he said, I am going to have it so that a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife and they too will become one flesh. We're accustomed to thinking of that in terms of marriage, but I want you to see that here the writer uses the same language to express the intimacy between these two young men. This is the first of several building blocks that put together a relationship that was built to last not only for a lifetime, but we are going to see that the relationship between Jonathan and David lasted beyond a lifetime.

And long after Jonathan was dead, David was still blessing him by taking care of his descendants. And I'm here to tell you that as you do the will of God, God is going to want to bring a number of relationships into your life and some of them have got to be built solidly because they are going to be intended by God to last a lifetime, whether we're talking about marriage or even a non-marital relationship. Now indeed, marriage is designed by God to last a lifetime and we've got to go back to God's ideal and proclaim that because these days we have disposable everything and unfortunately a lot of us have the mindset that if marriage doesn't work out all well, if you don't make me happy all well, I'll just dispose of you and keep on rolling. And we need to see, no, in the plan of God when you marry, it is to be not only for better or for worse, you know, sickness and health, richer and poorer, but it is also to be till death. Do us part. That's God's ideal. Yes, there are biblical grounds for divorce.

Yes, there are times when it doesn't work out, but you should seek to live your life fulfilling the will of God and where marriage is concerned, we are to do everything possible to make sure it is built for a lifetime. But whether or not you're married, God's going to bring some people into your life who are to be there through thick and thin to help you, to bless you, to be part of what God is doing in your life. So I want you to examine with me what are some of the building blocks for such a relationship.

Here's the first one. Oneness. Oneness. The first building block for some of the relationships God's going to bring into your life so that you can do His will is you're going to have to develop the desire and the ability to walk with other people in oneness.

What does that mean? To learn to walk with people in unity. Now unity doesn't mean unison. Unity means that two individuals come together around the same God honoring purpose and they blend their lives in such a way that they walk together in sync, in stride, in connectedness to accomplish God's purpose for both of them. You do not surrender who you are in order to walk in unity with someone.

It takes in fact two individuals. The key to unity is not both being exactly alike. The key to unity is both having a deep commitment to flow together. So here's a key word if you want to understand what the Bible means when it talks about oneness or unity, here's a key word. The word is harmony. Harmony. Now I want to help you see that harmony is God's plan for relationships that are built to last. Because a lot of folks don't understand this and a lot of people and I'm sure some of us listening to this message right now, you're accustomed to thinking that the only way to achieve unity is to make the other person think and act like me. And as soon as you get with my program, we can walk together. And I'm here to say that there are people who are deluded like that and believe that that is the case.

And let me help you. That's exactly why all of your relationships are jacked up. They're jacked up because you don't understand that God's purpose for bringing people into your life is not for them to conform to your image. You are not created by God and authorized by God to create people in your image and after your likeness. God already created them. He knew who they were when he made them. He knew what he wanted out of their lives when he made them.

He gave them the temperament they have, the personality they have, it has been shaped, it has been molded, it has been influenced of course by the environment and experiences they've had as they've grown up. But believe me when I tell you the people in your life are who they are and God doesn't bring them into your life so you can change them. Now this is very important to understand because if you think the goal is to change everybody, you're going to be frustrated constantly as to why none of your relationships are working out. And I'm here to shed some light and to let you know that the key to unity is harmony. Now what is harmony? Harmony means that we are going to have difference. We're going to have difference. In fact difference can be a wonderful blessing. It is designed to be a wonderful blessing. Difference should not be threatening.

Difference should be appealing. Let me help you. Let me say something.

It might hurt but let it hurt good. God is actually doing you a great favor when he brings into your life people who are unlike you. He blesses you by bringing somebody who is different than you are. Up next the second half of today's Destined for Victory message with Pastor Paul Shepherd. We want to thank all of you whose prayers and financial support helped Pastor Paul share the gospel all over the world. And right now as we recover from the pandemic and many of the challenges of the past year, your support is even more critical today. More people than ever before are looking for answers that only Jesus can give. So as God leads, prayerfully consider making a generous gift to Destined for Victory. A wise preacher once said, if all of us were alike, only one of us would be necessary. With more on the power of unity and your relationships, here again is Pastor Paul with the rest of today's message, Built to Last. Some of us don't know it, but what you need is something different than yourself. And so it's meant to be a blessing.

Go back to the original institution, the institution of marriage. When God looked at Adam in Genesis 2 18 and said it's not good for man to be alone. I will make a help suitable for him. Why did God say that? Because Adam, as wonderful as he was, needed help. And that help needed to be suitable to complement where he comes short, to help him where he needs help and assistance to strengthen him, to encourage him, to build him up.

He is great, but alone he is ineffective when it comes to certain things. So God says I'm going to bless him by making help suitable. You need to allow God to bring people into your life. Bless your heart because you need help. You need help. And I'm saying it now, but some of you know your relatives, friends been trying to tell you that for a while.

And so this is just a confirming word. You need help. Don't be put off by that. Don't get mad. Don't cop an attitude. Don't say we all got the devil in us. No.

We're telling you the truth because we love you. You need help. Adam needed help. Now look at the help God gave him. God did not create a second Adam.

The brothers are saying thank you Jesus. Thank God. Hallelujah. When Adam woke up from that divine anesthesia and saw that pretty child standing there, God had formed her. She looked different.

She was clearly human, but she was different in form, had some things that he didn't have. Help me now. We got to stay PG. Help me. Help me, y'all. If you act like you don't know what I'm talking about, I got to get plain. And there goes the message.

So stick with me. There were some complimentary parts and there were some things to just bless his life. And he said I'll call her woman for she is clearly a human being, but she has a womb. God is built for some things he's not built for. God's going to bring some people into your life.

Whether we're talking marriage, that's the ultimate form of companionship, but not the only one. God is going to bring some people into your life who are built with some things, some giftings, some understanding, some sensitivities that you don't have and I'm here to tell you it is to be a blessing to you. Don't be threatened by difference.

The difference is going to bless your life. And this woman was a blessing to Adam and that began the process of us seeing biblically what it means for people to walk in harmony, but it's not always in a marital situation. It is in any relationship that God ordains. God will bring mentors and mentees into your life. God will bring people alongside a Jonathan for your David. He'll bring in Elijah for your Elijah. He'll bring a Joshua to your Moses. He will bring people into your life who will help you. He will bring disciples to every person who needs that help. Even Jesus Christ needed assistance of people in his inner circle. He needed the Peter, the James, the John, the Lazarus, the Mary, the Martha.

These people were necessary in order for him to fulfill God's will and God will bring some necessary help to you, but don't expect it to be like you. It's about harmony. Harmony. We've got to learn to harmonize. If we're going to get the will of God done, you've got to get used to harmony. You've got to get used to difference that flows together.

That's the key. Difference is good. Difference should not create division. Difference is a blessing.

If we will make the decision to become one without asking people to sacrifice who they are. One. There's a difference between unity and unison. Now let me illustrate it on a piano. Unison, I'm going to play a song that you'll probably recognize. Now what song is that?

Amazing Grace. Now you recognized it from its melody because that's all I played was the melody. And I took two notes an octave apart and played them. But they were the same note, just one octave apart. Essentially the same tone, one octave apart. And so you recognized it because that was the melody. But while you recognized it, there was no difference in it.

The melody is what it is, but you have heard that song sound different and you say, well, what's the difference? He just played it, but it didn't seem to have any anointing on it. The anointing that was missing is actually not a spiritual anointing at all. It was the blessing of harmony. Let me play the same song again.

Now you think the anointing showed up, but that wasn't the anointing. That was harmony. Harmony takes different notes, intentionally different notes, and says we're not going to sacrifice who we are, but we're going to reach the goal together of making this song sound good. And you take the difference and you cause it to flow in the same direction, to the same end, to the end that a better result is achieved than unison can ever get you.

And I'm here to tell you that's what God wants to do in your life. Bring people who are different, intentionally different, thankfully different than you. Different interpretation of certain issues, different sensitivities, different temperament, different personality, a different take on something, and it's meant to bless your life. And so we got to learn to work together. Some of us have thrown away, already in our lives, thrown away people that could have been a great blessing, but because you didn't understand this principle, you despised difference, and in some cases alienated and marginalized and dismissed people who could have actually been a wonderful blessing.

And I'm here to tell you that God's plan is that moving forward you will no longer dishonor anyone that God brings into your life for a good and godly purpose, but instead you will make the decision like Jonathan and David did to be joined together in spirit and in purpose. And this takes work. Unity takes work. Unity isn't achieved easily. Married folk know that very well.

Unity is not achieved easily because you know, I mean we just come at life from different perspectives. I remember one time we had a big fight over syrup. And finally in our marriage it was over the temperature of syrup. The syrup had been in the refrigerator and she had a very good reason. She let explain to me something had gone wrong, whatever, and she had it in the refrigerator and I didn't play cold syrup on hot cakes. And she thought, you know, what's the big problem? It's been in there, but you know, the taste is what you need. And she brought it out and I said, what's up with the cold syrup? And it was just one of those days where we just, it didn't take, you know how there are times when it doesn't take a whole lot. It was just one of those times and boy did we get into it early on in marriage over syrup. Because, you know, when you don't have the right sensitivities and the right commitments to stay in sync and to keep harmony flowing, then quickly the issue no longer becomes the issue. And after a while you go off into other dimensions.

Come on now. And the next thing you know you can have the biggest blow up over the most trivial matter because it pushes other buttons and gets you going in other directions. And there we were in the summer and there was a chilly breeze in the summer in our little apartment. You know, Jesus came to earth not only to die on our behalf but to show us how to live. And along the way he showed us how to walk in oneness with other people by forming an inner circle of trusted friends. Jesus encouraged them, taught them, but he also relied on them. Facing imminent death, Jesus took Peter, James, and John with him to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray for him.

And as he hung on Calvary's cross, he asked John to care for his mother, Mary, after he was gone. If Jesus, who was perfect, needed strong relationships with others, how much more will we, who are imperfect, need to surround ourselves with other believers and learn to walk in oneness as we seek to carry out God's will for our lives. Well, we have two great resources to share with you today. Yours for your best gift of $25 or more. The first is Pastor Paul's book, Why God Created Dads, an insightful and inspirational look at the subject of fatherhood through the lens of scripture. The second is the audio CD, A Tribute to My Dad, a message delivered by Pastor Paul following the death of his father.

Men and women alike will be inspired by these timely resources. Again, that's Why God Created Dads and A Tribute to My Dad, our gifts to you this month for your best donation of $25 or more to Destin for Victory. And summer is a critical time in the life of this ministry, so please be as generous as you can. Thanks in advance for standing with Pastor Paul as he seeks to share the gospel. Call 855-339-5500 or visit pastorpaul.net to make a safe and secure donation online. You can also mail your gift to Destin for Victory, Post Office Box 1767, Fremont, CA 94538.

Again, that address is Destin for Victory, Box 1767, Fremont, CA 94538. We will remain different, whole people, but God wants us to walk together, pray together, grow together, serve together, so that together we can get more done than either one of us can get done alone. That's the will of God for your life. That's next time in Pastor Paul's message, Built to Last. Until then, enjoy your weekend and remember, he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are destined for victory. . .