If you let people stay in your heart. Full of bitterness and unforgiveness, guess what? They keep you suspended right at this point in your life. You cannot move on as long as there's bitterness and unforgiveness in your life. You can't get where God is taking you.
If you've ever been wounded, rejected, or deserted, then you know how hard it can be to let it go. But with God all things are possible. Hello and welcome to another great day here on Destined for Victory, where we feature the teaching ministry of Pastor Paul Shepard.
Well, God wants to change the way you think about those who have wounded you and about those who may be hurting you right now. Stay with us. We'll find out how to go from bitter to better in just a few moments. Don't forget, online you'll find us at pastorpaul.net, where you can listen on demand to any of our recent messages and get details about how to listen on your favorite digital platform. Right now, let's get started with today's Destined for Victory message.
I've got a new attitude. God says, I want to transform your attitude so that you realize. If you will just humble yourself. I will exalt you in my own way. And in my own time.
And so you got to be willing to humble yourself. My friend Pastor John Jenkins was teaching a course, and I was sitting through it. He said, I want to paint a picture for you, and then I want to ask you what the solution is. And he said, Suppose you got a mountain road, a very narrow mountain road. Going Down the side of this mountain one mountain goat is coming down on the road One mountain goat is going up.
It's very narrow. Two cannot be side by side. One would fall off. He said, How are they going to deal with this dilemma? Appropriately.
One man in the seminar said, one mountain goat just need to kick the other one over the mountain. Just butt him right off the mountain. And he said, okay, is there any other possibility? And we all sat there. And we said, hmm.
We're all smart people. We're trying to figure out. Other than knocking somebody off the mountain. How do you do this?
So finally, he said, Do you give? We said, Yes. He said, one has to lay down. And let the other one Step over it. And once it gets stepped on for the point of passing this point of conflict.
It is free to rise again. And go on its journey. You know the problem with not you, but somebody near you? They're like, that sounds good to me.
Now, as soon as they lay down, Sooner they later have we be in business. In fact, somebody can't wait for me to be done, so you can go get the CD. And take it home to somebody. And say, Pastor had a word. for you.
You supposed to be lame? down You know why you're the one hearing this message? Because the Lord wants you. To let him change your attitude. Where you realize I'm not less a person Because I choose To submit.
At a point of butted heads.
so that we can get past. This impasse. And when I lay down, I'm not less a person. But they got to step on you to get past it. And God's gonna give me the grace.
Today, I don't live my life as a doormat. You don't walk on me every day. In fact, I'm not laying down in weakness, I'm laying down in strength. Oh, somebody's missing this. I have to be strong enough.
To say you can have your way on this point. No big deal. We both have strong opinions about this, but no big deal. Go ahead, honey. Just step on over me.
Got me messing up my clothes, illustrating this. When you get up, you're still who you were before you said it's all right. See, some of you, your old mind tells you the only way to prove that you're a person is you got to be funky and nasty and tell folk off, and nobody walks over me. God says, I want to give you a new attitude. It takes strength.
To say, okay, honey.
Okay, co-worker.
Okay, boss.
Okay, neighbor.
Okay, crazy relative. It's not worth the argument. Whatever you need is cool with me. I have found out the sooner you do that, the sooner you can move on up the mountain of God's blessing and provision for your life. It's not worth it.
It's not worth it. These Euodia and Centike kinds of battles in your life are just not worth it. With you standing your ground, the other person standing their ground, and I shall not be moved. I'm not going to be moved, and then somebody tell them how many times the other person has done this and keeping records and all of that. Just say yes.
Okay, no problem. That will actually give you credibility so that down the road, should there be another point of conflict? The other person will realize you have shown. Your strength of character. By saying, okay, you can have your way on this one.
And in many cases, you will actually have taught them a lesson that they had to see somebody illustrate in their own life.
Sometimes you can make that person grow. By them watching your example. In your marriage, you can make your marriage better. By showing your spouse how to love sacrificially. I want to tell you young married men something.
When you're young and married and dumb, You think you gotta win every Little battle. Let me tell you something. And some of the old experience made it through some storms, made it up some mountain paths. Husbands, we can tell you.
Sometimes the goal is to just watch the game. And the way you're gonna get to the game is, yes, honey. You need me to do that, baby? All right, I got you covered.
Sometimes you're trying to watch a game, and she's got some frustration, she brings it up, and then you go in your pride mode. You don't know you're gonna miss the game. She will wait to us a key point in the game. She's not trying to dime it because she's not watching the game, but you have frustrated her, and she's in the other room fuming and stewing over what you said and your stubbornness and your hard-heartedness. And she needs you to heal her, and hear her, and feel her, and take care of her need.
And you just out there just being macho and doing your thing. And you think you got it covered, she's gonna come in after a while. The fuming in the other room is gonna build to a boiling point. And she's coming back in that room, grabbed that remote, hit the switch, said, we got to talk right now. I learned that early in my marriage.
After a while, you want to watch that game, you take care of business. What do you need, baby?
So that you can watch in joy and peace.
Sometimes we get into Euodia and Centique wars. Completely unnecessary. Think about some of the ones in your life. It might not be your marriage. It may be with a co-worker, may be with another relative, may be with a long-term friendship.
Now I heard this term frenemies. People have friends who often act like enemies. And they call it frenemies. You got some frenemies, baby, in your circle. And it's time for you to say, listen.
There's a category of skirmishes in my life that I'm believing God to give me a new attitude about where I don't have. to have everybody suit me all the time. Fact of the matter is, God's gonna give me the grace. to be able to deal with it.
Now, there are other categories you say, well, that's good for those, but what about some of the other challenges in my life? I got some, Pastor, you don't know some of the folk in my life. I realize that there are some other issues. Paul addresses them in some other places. For instance, in 2 Timothy chapter 4, one of my favorite portions of Scripture is the book of 2 Timothy, because it gives us the last written words of the Apostle Paul.
It is from the imprisonment from which Paul wrote 2 Timothy that he was executed. And so when you're reading 2 Timothy, you are reading the last words written. By the great Apostle Paul. And I love how he ends this book and he gives us some wonderful insights. Go with me to 2 Timothy chapter 4.
This is the chapter that gives us so many preachable things. And you hear a lot of us preachers preach from 2 Timothy 4. It's got that passage: preach the word, be instant, in season, and out of season, reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long-suffering and doctrine. It's got that, I have fought a good fight, I have finished my race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth, there's laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will give me, and not to me only, but all who love his appearing.
Oh man, you can preach out of 2 Timothy. But I found out there's some preaching even in his closing personal remarks. Look at verse 9. He's writing his spiritual son, Timothy. He says, Do your best to come to me quickly.
For Demas. Because he loved this world. has deserted me and has gone to Thessalonica. Pause right there. There's a category of people in your life God wants to give you a new attitude about.
I call them deserters. Deserters. There are people. Who have left you high and dry. Either physically or emotionally Psychologically They have dropped their responsibility.
They stop paying the child support. They have done something. that has made them a deserter. Paul said, I know what that's like. To feel like you really need somebody to be faithful and consistent.
and to live up to the relationship. You need to be able to have certain expectations met from them. And you look around. And they've deserted you. I got a word for somebody.
God says, I can give you a new attitude. About your deserters. Paul says, Timothy, I want you to come help me. And he isn't too pious. to say because Demas Has having loved this present world.
has deserted me. There are some deserters in your life God wants to give you a new attitude about. Cause your heart is full of bitterness. and frustration and anger. about your deserters.
Let's pause right there for a brief timeout, but don't go away. The second half of today's Destined for Victory message with Pastor Paul Shepard is coming right up. Yeah. Our mission at Destined for Victory is to preach timeless truth for a victorious life, and we can't do it without you, our listening friends and partners. You provide all of our financial support, and we're so grateful to you not only for your generosity, but for the positive eternal impact it's having in the world.
To make a generous donation today, please visit pastorpaul.net or call 855-339-5500. Uh If you are holding a grudge today, if there's someone in your life you have yet to forgive, God cannot take you where He wants you to go. Let's get you back to the rest of today's message. I've got a new attitude. I got a word for you.
God wants you to know that deserters do not get to write a significant chapter in your present life. God wants to give you the grace to close that chapter and let Him begin to write a new chapter in your life. But first, you got to let God give you a new attitude because you know we tend to do with deserters. We tend to be so angry and mad, and we tend to take in all of that frustration and we hold them many times in unforgiveness and bitterness in our hearts. And if you let people stay in your heart full of bitterness and unforgiveness, guess what?
They keep you suspended right at this point in your life. You cannot move on as long as there's bitterness and unforgiveness in your life. You can't get where God is taking you. In the first message, I talked about the fact that God is transforming us from caterpillars into butterflies. You know what will keep you a caterpillar?
Bitterness and unforgiveness. towards your deserters.
So you got to say, Lord. I'm surrendering because I want you to give me the power. To see that although they deserted me, you don't have to deny they deserted you. Paul says, that boy deserted me and he did it because he's not spiritually minded. He has loved this present world, and although he started out as a ministry companion, now he has left me high and dry.
Anybody been left high and dry? By a spouse who said they'd be with you till death do us part. And the next thing you know, they're up and gone. Went and traded you in for some other model.
Sometimes you look at the other model, and your pride says, Oh, please. I know you don't think that's an upgrade. I know Beyonce said, let me upgrade you. But that is not an upgrade. See, that's your bitterness talking.
That's your carnality talking. That's your caterpillar talking. The butterfly says, Well, although you left me You got your own issues. You love this present world. I'm not gonna try to hold on to somebody.
Who refuses to be held? That's the new attitude God wants to take you to. See, some of y'all are still trying to hold on. They'll try to convince somebody to love you. When folk don't love you, believe them.
Come on, you need a reality. check here. And what you need to do is understand that it was their free will that brought them to you. And now their will, however, lacking in character. has taken them somewhere else.
When a person doesn't have enough character to live up to their obligations, the last thing in the world you want to do is to keep trying to hook your your wagon to their star. What you have to do is say to the Lord, Lord. I'm believing you now. Because the Bible says, even if my father and mother forsake me. The Lord Will take me up.
You got to realize that anybody who leaves your life doesn't take your life with them when they go. You got to understand that you're not the end of my life. You're not the light of my world. Jesus is the light of my world. I never gave you permission to run my life.
I never gave you permission to define who I am. Don't sit in the house of your life singing sad songs. Instead, you've got to let God give you a new attitude. Because people will desert us. There are some people who are gifted.
At not coming through for you. There are some people who are gifted at having deserted you.
Some of you were not raised by a parent who, at a certain point, had another agenda and up and left. I have members in this church who said, Pastor, one day my father said to us, I will be back, and he went out the house, and we haven't seen him since.
Some folks know what it's like to be deserted. And it's not fun. And it can cause you pain. And if you're in that pain, cry on and grieve it. But as you grieve it, give it to God and say to God, I refuse to let this person define who I am.
So, Lord, I'm going to believe you. That you are going to make. My days ahead of me richer than the days behind me. Let God take you to a place where, when your deserters look up one day, they will see you at a height. That they've never imagined.
All summer, you got to get a grace to never let them see your sweat. Get a grace where your deserters don't get to laugh at you. Where one day your deserters will look at you and say, look at that. I know. You had it like that.
Because God has taken you from caterpillar to butterfly, and He has taken you to new heights. You are drinking the nectar of His love and His grace. You're not down there with the little caterpillar that left you. Walking around on the ground, trying not to get stepped on. You just fluttering around.
You see him say, ha! I'm telling you, it's possible. Paul said. Timothy, I want you to come because... Demons has left me.
When you read the book of Colossians, At the end of it, when he's giving his final comments to the church at Colossi, he says, Oh, Demas says to tell y'all high. Themis was with him. at critical points in his ministry. But now, at the end of his life, Demas, having loved this present world. has deserted him.
You have deserters? Give them to God. Do not let them define who you are. Do not assume that because they walked out, all of your hope and all of your help walked out. You got to say, I will look to the Lord from whence comes my help.
You might have left me, but God is still with me. In fact, He said, I will never leave you, I will never forsake you.
Now be very very practical. When a person owes you, Then they owe you. That's the bottom line. It's no proof that you forgave a deserter. Say if you parented a child with a deserter and they have a legal responsibility till that child is at a certain age to take care of their responsibilities, you do all you can through the legal system to get them to pay.
It's no sign of Christianity that you say, that's all right, be a deadbeat. Take the deadbeat to court. In Jesus' name. Let Pastor help you now. I'm not trying to get you to practice sloppy agape.
Well, it's all right, people. Just use me. This is your child you're talking about. That child deserves to have their bills paid and their needs met. And just because that crazy person wants to be irresponsible, you have to make sure the courts deal with it.
Take them to court in Jesus' name. Pray before you go. God give me a good judge. Thanks so much for being here with us for today's Destined for Victory message. I've Got a New Attitude.
It's always a pleasure to study the Word of God with you.
Well, as I'm sure you know, Destined for Victory exists only through the faithful prayer and financial support of friends like you. We want to thank each and every one of you who have given to support this ministry. And we are especially grateful for our legacy builders, those partners who have taken the step to support us on a monthly basis. Pastor Paul was always so grateful for the regular support of our Destined for Victory partners and for the impact it had on people's lives. As a matter of fact, I once spoke with him about that very subject, and here's what he had to say: Wayne, thanks so much for bringing this up because it is true.
without our regular donors People would not be able to hear this broadcast. Yes, the gospel is free, but the plumbing costs a lot to get the gospel to people through the airways, through various means and media. We can only do that. with the financial support as well as the faithful prayers. Of our listeners.
So, I want to first of all thank every partner who gives each month because of our donors. The word of God is going out not only throughout the country, but literally around the world. We're hearing from people who listen to us on the continent of Africa, continent of Asia, continent of Europe. And so, we really are reaching the world with the gospel, and we can only do that because of our partners. Thank you, those of you who are our partners, for giving every month.
Thank you to our legacy builders who are giving significant gifts of large size because that's helping us do what we're doing. And I want to encourage and challenge every listener, whether your gift is smaller or large, whatever God blesses you to do, if you remember us and if you count us worthy to be part of your giving, I would love to have you. As a partner, and I will thank you regularly because you are helping to make it happen. I appreciate so much our partners all around the world. Keep in mind that for as little as $20 a month, you too can become a Destined for Victory partner, joining many other believers in Christ and sharing the gospel all over the world.
In appreciation of your partnership, we'll send you a few thank you gifts, including one of our most popular resources, Pastor Paul C.D., the best of Let My People Smile. It's a compilation of some of Pastor's most humorous illustrations and stories, and we look forward to sharing it with you. Call 855-339-5500 or mail your gift letting us know you wish to become a partner. The address is Destined for Victory, Post Office Box 1767, Fremont, California, 94538. You can also sign up by clicking Become a Partner at the top of the homepage at our website, pastorpaul.net.
That's pastorpaul.net. If you can't become a monthly partner but would like to send a generous gift today, we'll send you this month's Thank You Gift, a new great resource from Pastor Paul, Truth, Temper, and Treasure. that's truth, temper, and treasure are gift to you by request for your generous gift to Destined for Victory. I'm glad because if you're like me, you got some challenges and you got some broken relationships to deal with. And Paul gives us a hint as to how you can believe God to give you a new attitude when it comes to those things.
And that's tomorrow in our message, I've got a new attitude. But until then, remember, he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are destined for victory.
