You want to learn to walk in unity with people around essentials, not non-essentials. And we love fighting. There's so many other battles like that. The Calvin-Arminian debate, can you forfeit your salvation or can't you? And all of that.
We just go back and forth. And it's been argued for centuries. And if the argument hasn't been settled by now, my belief is that it won't be settled till Jesus comes, at which point it really won't matter. The church has plenty of important issues to debate, so there's no need to argue about things that don't matter. Hello and welcome to Destined for Victory with Pastor Paul Shepard.
You know, if someone in the church says there's someone or something other than Jesus that can lead us to God the Father, then we as followers of Christ are obliged to take a firm stand against that brand of heresy. But all too often, we argue over the non-essential issues.
So, today, we want to share with you what some of those non-essentials are. Stay right here if you can, but remember, you can always visit pastorpaul.net to hear any recent Destined for Victory message on demand, including today's. That's pastorpaul.net.
Now, let's listen closely to Pastor Paul's Destined for Victory message. Can't we all just get along? My job as a pastor is not to convince you of my eschatological construct. My job is to help you become a fully devoted, mature follower of Jesus Christ so that whatever He's going to do in the end, you'll enjoy the good part.
So, I have my personal opinion on it. I don't share it publicly because that's not a passion for me. Functionally, I'm pan-millennial. It'll all pan out after a while. I have my views, but I don't share them publicly.
Because if you're in the premillennial camp, you believe there'll be a secret rapture, and if you look up one day and realize there has been no secret rapture, as the amillennial camp would say, that every eye is going to behold him, and so all at once, all of us will see the Lord in the second coming. If you believed in a rapture all these years and you find that there was no rapture, that there's the second coming, then you'll know you were wrong. You'll know you were wrong at that point. We don't have to get all worked up over it beforehand. If you're a millennial and you don't believe in a secret rapture, but you find yourself going up in one.
You will know you were wrong. You got me? That's my position. Of course, there are other ministers who would respectfully disagree with me and say, No, it's important that you hold my position, and they'll give you 10 reasons why you need to be dispensational or 12 reasons why you ought to be a millennial or whatever. That's fine.
That's one of those disputable matters.
So, we'll disagree about how important eschatology is. Again, study it if it's that's close to your heart. Be fully convinced in your own mind. But don't fall out with people who don't share your view. You need them in the kingdom of God.
Don't create false division when I only fellowship with our millennial.
Well, I don't know why, because premillennial folk know how to pray. And sometimes they're the ones that can pray the prayer that'll get you your answer. You want to learn to walk in unity with people around essentials, not non-essentials. And we love fighting. There's so many other battles like that: the Calvin-Arminian debate: can you forfeit your salvation or can't you?
And all of that. We just go back and forth, and it's been argued for centuries. And if the argument hasn't been settled by now, my belief is that it won't be settled till Jesus comes, at which point it really won't matter. What will matter is that in that moment you are in Christ. You are in Christ, that He is in you, that you are clothed in His righteousness.
And so again, the key is to be in an environment of spiritual growth and development so that the point is moved. Why argue, can you forfeit your salvation if you're growing in Christ, you wouldn't forfeit it if you could? Why don't I give up the greatest gift in the world? There's no reason to turn my back on God. I don't care what kind of trial I'm going through.
And so it becomes a moot point if we are doing what the Bible says and growing in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. You say, well, what do I do with people I know who have backslidden? Tell them they need to get back into the family. They need to be like the prodigal son and realize that God's got a better life for you. If you're out there letting the devil make a fool out of you and you once tasted of the things of God, you ought to know better than anybody that there's nothing out in the world worth envying.
That everything you need is in Jesus Christ. And you need to hurry up and get back home spiritually speaking. And so you point the way. You just tell them what the Bible tells them without making it such a theological issue. And so we've got to learn how to do that.
Church loves, the church world loves fighting over spiritual gifts, the very kinds of things that we really ought to just thank God that He's given us gifts to bless and edify and encourage one another. We would rather fight in many cases about them than to allow for these honest differences of opinion. There will always be charismatic people in the kingdom of God, people who exercise all of the spiritual gifts, including gifts that some would teach you are no longer existent in the church. Gifts like tongues and prophecy and that sort of thing.
Some will always believe that those gifts are in the kingdom. If you don't believe they exist, then don't exercise them. I don't get it. I just don't get what the big deal is. If you don't believe in speaking in tongues, don't speak in them.
But when you see a brother or sister speaking in tongues. It doesn't matter whether you believe that's a legitimate gift. They believe it's a legitimate gift. It is a non-essential. It is one of those debatables.
And so you don't get to decide they're not in the kingdom because they're speaking in tongues. Because you didn't put them in the kingdom. And tongues didn't put them in the kingdom. Christ put them in the kingdom.
So, the best you can do is say, listen, do me a favor, don't, when you're praying for me, do all English, all right? If that's what you want, if they want to pray for you and you want an English-only prayer, you can politely request that. That's fine. They should respect you and say, fine, I exercise my gift in private prayer or whatever, or around people who are comfortable. I'll respect you.
Don't use your gift to beat up other people. You know, you who exercise gifts that are debated, don't torture other folk with them. Just exercise them in biblical balance and from a heart and a position of love so that you do all things to edify. And don't create false classism in the church.
Well, see, we exercise gifts. We exercise certain gifts, and so we fly first class. Y'all are in coach. No, the Bible didn't say that if you exercise certain gifts, you were spiritually superior to others. In fact, just the opposite.
The Bible says you've got to use every gift God's given you to serve the needs of other people. And so, rather than to disrespect them with your gifts, use them for edification so that God can be glorified. Because those are debates that will rage on. And so rather than argue about them, we need to allow for honest differences of opinion. And as it is true in theology, it's true in every area of life.
We who are believers will just get along with one another better if we just learn that not everyone is going to see everything the way I see it. Our families would be better off if we start from the position that the goal is not unison. We don't have to see everything alike, but we have to find a point of compromise. How can we live together with our differences? Without alienating.
Without separating from others. See, that's immaturity. If I have to separate from you because I disagree with you about certain minor things. And so we've got to learn how. to get along.
And you've got to allow in your mind and in your heart for the fact that people legitimately see some of these non-essentials different than you see them. That has always been the case. That will always be the case in the kingdom of God. It will always be the case in your family. Husbands and wives will never see certain things alike the longest day they live.
Longest day they live, they just come from.
Well, you know, you've seen the books about the planets, one's from Mars and one's from Venus and all that stuff. I don't know which planet we're from, but I know it wasn't the same one. In terms of those kinds of differences, we're being facetious when we talk like that. But it means that we're hardwired differently. And it was by God's design.
That difference is supposed to help us, round us out, make things better. But we've got to learn how to deal with some of the non-essentials along the way. And so you gotta find those points of saying, it's okay. It's okay for us to not see it alike. Let's just come up with the functional way to get along with one another.
And couples can get very, very creative when it comes to that. And so you just learn how to do it. You learn who gets to control the temperature in this room. Who gets to control which way the toilet paper does it go down and under or up and over? You'd be surprised how many folk will fall out.
With one another over silly things. And you gotta work them through. Because there are some people not in your family but in other families. Who will wreck the whole house over those kinds of issues? And we've got to learn how to get along.
You like one dish prepared this way, the other folk in the family like a dish prepared that way. Find out how. Find the points of compromise. Love can always make a way. If you love and respect people, you can always find a way to do it.
Compromise is a sign of strength, not weakness, as long as it's rooted in truth and in love. Stay with us, the rest of today's message is straight ahead.
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One of the ways we can create harmony in the church, in the home, and everywhere else where we have relationships is to make sure we allow people to have a voice.
Now here's the rest of today's message. Can't we all just get along? See, it worries me. Have you ever run into these couples, for instance, who said they've never had an argument? I have never in my life thought that was a good thing.
When I hear a couple saying, you know, we have never, in all the years we've been married, we have never disagreed.
Well, I'm worried. Other folk might be envious of you. I am worried for you. I think somebody is sitting on a whole lot of stuff. I think there's somebody in that house who is about to explode.
You don't know what's going to happen that's going to do it, and it doesn't always take something big. Folk who are just sitting on what they think and how they feel, sometimes the smallest thing. Can set them off. I've seen it as a pastor. I've seen the smallest thing, and they show up in the office, and one is saying, Pastor, all we all that happened was this.
And they can't figure out how that major fire. Start it. But you don't understand. That it wasn't the last straw, it was everything leading up to it. When people don't feel like they have a voice, when people don't feel loved, when they don't feel respected, when they don't feel appreciated, that builds up.
You've got to allow them to have a difference of opinion that is taken into consideration. And if you don't, in many cases, you'll find this major exposure. You know, and so when folks say those kinds of things, I get worried, like, oh Lord, that's not good. I mean, you might not be argumentative, you know. Temperamentally, some people are fighters and some people are flighters.
Some people fly, they get away from confrontation, they don't want to deal with confrontation. I understand that. But people who don't want to deal with confrontation have to have some expression. They still need their viewpoint heard. And so, when there's conflict, they'll run.
But somewhere along the line, if you are healthy, you're going to say, Honey, here's how I feel about this. I've been thinking about such and such a thing. And they'll at least express it until an argument starts, at which time they will run away. But they need the chance to express it. And a wise spouse, a wise parent, a wise individual dealing with others, a wise roommate will give them voice, will actually encourage them to speak up.
to tell him I want to hear what you're thinking. See, because the people who are loud and confrontational and all, they don't have any problem speaking their mind. That's what they do. They speak their mind whether you want to hear it or not. But it's the other people who need a voice.
And they need an advocate. And if we love one another, we can learn to advocate for one another. And so, you know, I'm always expressing what I think, but I haven't heard from you on this. What do you think about this? What do you think about this?
Meetings would go better if somebody stopped and asked the folk who were sitting around the table quiet. What do you think? About this, you haven't said much. Let's hear what you're thinking. Because sometimes the best wisdom comes from the person who's reluctant to speak.
Sometimes those still waters run deep. It's the folk making all the noise that, you know Okay, we've heard from you. Thank you very much. Appreciate you. But now let's hear from somebody else.
Allow for honest differences of opinion. People have a voice and God gave it to them and they need it heard. And so if they're reluctant to speak, let others become advocates for them in the kingdom so that we can mine the gold that God has placed there. And God will bless us to reach the point of agreement if we will learn the importance of allowing for differences. Love, if it's truly love, it has the ability to cover faults, to respect differences, to look over faults that would tend to make you feel alienated.
You ought to have enough love to say, look, you're getting on my nerves, but I love you anyhow. I don't like your opinion on this matter, but I'm not going to fall out with you. I just refuse to let this be an end all. I just refuse to make this the last stand. See, and you gotta make up in your mind.
That you're going to do that. For love, the Bible says, covers a multitude of faults. It covers those kinds of things. You ought to have enough love to cover it. It's just like if you were at a table, you know, eating a meal at a restaurant, and there's somebody who comes up a little short, and somebody else can just say, Oh, that's all right, I got you covered.
Well, that's the nature of love. Love has got the other people covered. I got you covered. I yeah, yeah, you I I don't I I think you're missing it on that, but it's all right. Let's keep on walking together.
Let's keep on going where God has taken us. Let's not stop and throw down over this. Let's not create in a family situation, let's not create a chilly breeze in the summertime. You ever had a chilly breeze in your house? In the dead of summer.
That breeze of being Alienated, offended, disconnected. brushing past people and won't speak. That kind of silence is loud. You know what I'm talking about? When neither person is talking and it's for a reason, and you're just walking around, and the silence is deafening.
He was just walking past one another. Don't want to eat at the same table and don't want to. Don't want to look. At the person. Looking all off in the You know I'm ringing doorbells.
You know this is. You're not coming down your street. And it's because we fail to do what the Bible calls us to do. Same principles that work in the kingdom will work in your family. They don't have to be like you.
They don't have to say everything. You can disagree without being disagreeable. Say, well, I don't see it that way. But that's all right. Let's go on.
Let's find the point. You can typically find another point of agreement, like Paul and Barnabas did in Acts 15, where they said, We can't agree on how to do this second missionary journey, and so we're going to take two different versions of it. Paul took Silas and Barnabas took John Mark, but they agreed thereafter we will maintain our fellowship. Later in his writings, you see Paul continues to refer to Barnabas, and he even refers to John Mark as having been helpful to him because they agree, we don't agree on this matter. But let's find that point where we can meet again.
And continue our journey together. And you have to learn to do that. There'd be less confusion in our churches. We'd have a greater witness for God if churches in the same city would stop fighting each other. You got a devil to fight.
Why are you gonna fight your brothers and sisters? We got a spiritual warfare to wage. What sense does that make? Me fighting other pastors in the region. Not going to fight you.
We're on the same team. I don't shoot folks that have the same uniform on. What kind of army is that? Taking a pop shot at somebody, uh-huh, premillennial, huh? Pow!
Huh? Charismatic, huh? Boom! And the devil's laughing. Cause folk in those cities are going to hell every day.
while church folk fight with one another and write books. I say, let the charismatics and the non-Charismatics, the Calvinists and the Arminians, the premillennials and the amillennials all get together around the cross and say, let's pray until Satan's kingdom in this region comes down. I'm in a pastor's fellowship here in our area, been in it for years. We meet monthly at lunchtime, spend a couple hours together sharing and praying with one another. We have our first time to argue over those kinds of things because we said early on, this is not about what we think.
It's about what do we need in order to be healthy leaders in the kingdom of God. We got to be able to talk to one another. We got to be able to say, here's where I'm hurting, here's what I'm going through. Would y'all please pray for me? I'm having it rough right now.
I need some help. I need some prayer. Not about what size church is yours and all of that. No, no. This is about the kingdom.
The kingdom is bigger than your church. Kingdom is bigger than your denomination. And Jesus said, Pray, thy kingdom come, thy will be done. On earth as it is in heaven. And if we're going to live that way, if we're going to be kingdom citizens, we've got to learn that there will be differences.
But I tell you what, if you're in a war and you're in a foxhole with somebody, that's not the time to talk debates. If I'm in a foxhole with you, I'm not trying to argue with them. Bombs are dropping all over the place, and I need you to have my back when I run out and try to take a position over there. I need to know that you're going to fend the enemy off while I'm making my escape. I don't need you saying, hmm, I didn't agree with him anyway.
We see how silly that is in an army scenario. But we've got to realize we're the army of God. We gotta stop shooting our wounded. We got to stop wounding people and then shooting them when they are wounded. When a brother or sister is overtaken in a fault, that's not the time to preach to them.
Well see, that's what I've been trying to tell you. See, I'm laying down there, the enemy caught me in a snare, and I'm trapped, life all messed up. Don't come along with your big Bible. Ready to take a text? Do that later, right now.
Pick me up, brush me off, dress my wounds, tell me I'm going to make it. Get me back on my feet. Get me moving again in the kingdom. And sometimes, if you minister long enough to people, That's why Paul said in Galatians 6: even when you're restoring a person, do it in the spirit of meekness, he said, considering yourself. Lest you also be tempted.
Because the fact of the matter is the day might come when they gotta pick me up. And I want to know I did a good job with you so that when I'm laying there wounded and hurting, I don't expect any mess. I don't have any harvest coming back on me that I sowed and I'm about to reap now. No, if I sowed sensitivity and kindness and a love that covers, then that's what I expect to reap. And we can get along in the kingdom if we will allow for differences.
Stand on your essentials. But make sure they are essentials that God said are essentials. Don't decide it's an essential because you're comfortable with it. And this is important. This is a knock down drag out.
No, if the Bible allows for such difference, if the kingdom has demonstrated by years of not settling certain debates that they are not going to determine who goes to heaven, Then we can decide the greater position to take is one that is characterized by a love that covers and respects. and allows for honest differences. of opinion. And in this way God will be glorified.
Okay. That's a great question to ask ourselves in any conversation, including the ones that include disagreement. Is God being glorified? If the answer is no, we're doing it wrong. You know destined for victory could not exist without the faithful prayers and financial support of listening friends and partners like you.
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Or mail your gift to Destined for Victory, post office box 1767, Fremont, California, 94538. There are some issues that you believe strongly, and you are entitled to that. In fact, Paul said in verse 5, everyone should be fully persuaded in his own mind about the things you believe when it comes to non-essentials. But the trick is, you've got to learn that your position isn't the only one someone can hold and have right standing with God. And I'm talking about non-essential issues now.
And that's tomorrow in our continuing message: Can't We All Just Get Along? Until then remember. He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are destined for victory.
