I want especially single listeners to understand. That God has a plan for you to enjoy fullness. For you to enjoy maturity, for you to enjoy victory. But in order for that to happen, you really need to look at various areas of your life carefully. David vs.
Goliath, the battle of Jericho, the parting of the Red Sea. In each case, God did the miracle, but a human being played a role. Hello, and thanks for being here for today's Destined for Victory, where we feature the preaching ministry of Pastor Paul Shepard. God has a plan for you too, a good plan, a victorious plan. but you'll have some work to do along the way, and it won't always be easy.
Today, you'll hear about seven areas of life that we need to take seriously in order to find the victory God wants to give us. Be sure to come see us at pastorpaul.net, where you can listen to any of our recent messages on demand, including today's. That's pastorpaul.net.
Now, here's today's Destined for Victory message. Priorities for Victoria Singles. As a single person, whether you remain single or eventually get married, you want to. Be a whole person, emotionally speaking. You don't want to be a half looking to meet somebody so the two of you halves can make up one decent person.
That's not what life is about. You have no business being a half looking for another half. The Bible doesn't say they two halves become one whole. The Bible says they too become one if you ever get married. That's God's plan for you to be a whole person.
And so you got to. Get your emotional priorities in order. And I ended the message talking about the importance of getting your family priorities in order. And in this case, I'm specifically talking about family of origin. Issues.
There are a lot of people who aren't living life to the full because you got unpacked baggage from your family of origin. And I talked about the fact that you got to deal with some of that stuff. Even if the person you have to get things right about is deceased, it could be a father, a mother, a grandmother, a grandfather. It can be people who are living as well. But there is mess in your past.
You got to get that straight if you're going to experience God's fullness. And I talked about that using as a reference point Jacob and Esau.
So those are the first three categories of priority: spiritual, emotional, and family. Let's move on now. And I want to cover four more as I wrap up. This series. The fourth area is interpersonal.
Priorities, interpersonal priorities. Priorities. That has to do with your non Familial relationships, people who aren't related to you, but they are in your life nonetheless. I want to encourage you. to get your priorities straight in this way.
Specifically, I want to let you know that God's will is that you develop and maintain strong relationships And friendships. Many of us have a very poor network of friends and associates, and God's plan to give you wholeness and fullness and joy and enjoyment in your life is to bring you into some positive relationships. I want to say this in no uncertain terms: a lot of you all are missing out on God's best in your life because the relationships you are dealing with cost you more than they pay you. I want to let you know that that is the definition of a bad investment. What's a bad investment?
A bad investment is: I sold this much money in, and what I get back is less than I put in. That's a bad investment. And I want to let you know, as it is financially, so it is in relationships. A lot of you all are involved and heavily vested in bad relationships. And they're costing you more than they pay you.
And it's time for you to make a change. I got a word from the Lord for somebody, which is if you want to get where God's taking you and experience wholeness and joy and victory in your life, you got some folk on the bus that you need to pull it over and say, get off.
Now that might not sound all that spiritual.
Well, I thought you saved. I thought you'd be telling us we're supposed to love everybody. I'm not talking about not loving folk, I'm talking about getting them out of your inner circle. when they're costing you more than they pay you.
Now, let me qualify it. There are some people who come into our lives to take from us. That's why God sends them in our lives. There are some people you're supposed to mentor, there's some people you're supposed to bless, there's some people you're supposed to help. They don't come into your life to help you, they come into your life so you can help them.
When those kind of people come into your life that don't belong in your inner circle in the sense of mutual friendships, they come to be part of who you serve, who you minister to. That's clear. That's clear for all of us. Jesus had the masses. He ministered to them.
He healed them. He encouraged them. He forgave them when they were messed up. All of us are going to have people in that category that we serve. You get nothing from them, they get everything from you.
But what funds that, what supports that, is your inner circle. Those are the relationships where you are supposed to not only bless them, but they're supposed to bless you. That's the category I'm talking about. I'm not talking about kicking out of your life the people you're supposed to serve. We who are parents, you're supposed to serve your kids.
You're not going to get a whole lot out of it. Stop trying to make your kids your best friend. That's not why God gave them to you. This is good. Stop trying to make your kids your best friend.
That's not why God gave them to you. God gave them to you so you could train them, teach them. And the way they should go. Cause them to grow up and become responsible, God-fearing, productive citizens in this world. Your job as a parent is to work yourself out of a job.
When you get through, they are whole, they know who they are, they're educated, they got sense. And you can send them into the world. The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face shine upon you, be gracious unto you. The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.
Bye. That's your job as a parent.
So that they are whole people. And again, they can live with you single and adult, that's fine. But then, that's a different term. When you live with me as a grown child, you do that at my pleasure. And you do that paying rent.
That's what I'm talking about. Then you can stay as long as you want to. Just write the check on time. But you see what I'm saying?
Now, some people, you're supposed to give to them. That's why they're in your life. But there are other people who are there to be friends, to serve you as you serve them. Jonathan and David. Blessed each other.
That's what I'm talking about. Some of y'all have the raggediest friends. And you will never get where God's taking you unless you get some of them jokers out of your inner circle. I know that doesn't sound nice, but it's the truth. And that's a principle, even the world has gotten hold of that principle.
There's a man who wrote a great book in business, one of the most popular business books of this era, and it's called Good to Great. And one of the points he makes in good to great is he distinguishes great companies from merely good ones. And he talked about the lessons he's learned as he studied them. And one of them is great companies have learned the importance of having the right people on the bus. And he said you got to learn to get off the bus the wrong folks.
So you can get in those seats the right folks. And one of the toughest things for some of us to do is to demote people. And to put them in the category they're supposed to be in. But if you're going to get where God's taking you, if you want to maximize your wholeness and your enjoyment, you're going to have to ask God for the grace and the wisdom to put people in their place. And when you show me that your place is not in my inner circle, I'm loving you, but I'm walking you out to another place.
And you can't have access like you used to have it because you're costing me more than you pay. The inner circle people pay me more than I cost. They're a good investment. I bless them, I help them, I serve them, but what I get from them is so much more than what they get from me. And that means that's a good interpersonal investment.
And so that's what some of us need to do. That's the word of the Lord for some of you today. You've got. to have the courage to reassess Your interpersonal relationships. And you got to be okay.
You got to be in a season where everybody's up for reassessment. You know, just like going to job every now and then, it's evaluation season or whatever in your life, it's time for all of y'all to hold every last one of them jokers up.
So now let's take a real good look at you. What have you done for me lately? How are you blessing my life? How are you serving me better? And you gotta be willing to do it.
So, what I want to do is give you seven. Questions as you evaluate the people in your inner circle. Again, I'm not talking about the people that you're supposed to serve. You stay there and you ask God for the grace to fulfill the role you play in their lives. I'm talking about the people who are in your inner circle who are supposed to be blessing you while you bless them.
Seven questions on the questionnaire. Based on some passages of Scripture. The first passage of Scripture is Ecclesiastes chapter 4. Verses 9 through 12. Verse 9 says, Two are better than one because they have a good return for their work.
So here's the first question. Do your present friends help you in terms of increased productivity? Do they help you become more productive? in your life. Because Ecclesiastes 4:9 said, Two are better than one because they'll help you in terms of.
Getting a good return for your work. See, there are some things in life you can't do alone. There's some things in life you need to partner up and network and find people who can help you do them. Still ahead, the second half of today's Destiny for Victory message featuring the teaching ministry of Pastor Paul Shepard. In case you didn't know, we archive all of our recent messages, including today's at pastorpaul.net.
That's pastorpaul.net.
When you stop by, be sure to check out our online store for some great resources that will help you grow in Christ, including books and videos from Pastor Paul. If you want to be married and whole, first be single and whole.
Now, let's get you back to the rest of today's Destin for Victory message: Priorities for Victoria Singles.
So, are the people in your life helping you in terms of your productivity? For instance, do you have inner circle people who help you kill time? If you have people in your inner circle and they're helping you kill time, that's not a good investment. How many know this is a time in life I can't afford to have a time killer hanging around sapping all the strength from me? I don't need folk calling me what you doing, nothing.
So you call me 'cause you have nothing to do? I have something to do. Even when it's downtime, downtime is something. It's scheduled. This is downtime.
This is my time to have fun and no work. It's something. I don't need you with your pointless life. Coming sapping all my strength. Because I'm being productive even when I'm resting.
I'm re-energizing myself, getting ready for the next thing.
So, whatever your hobby it is, whatever it is you like to do. You're about that and you need folks who can help you. Who can support you in that?
So, do your present friends help you in terms of increased productivity? That's the first thing on your questionnaire as you reassess your inner circle. Second thing is found in Ecclesiastes 4.10. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up.
Second question, do your friends restore you when you've fallen? It said, if one falls down but has a friend, a friend can help him up. Pity the person who falls has no one to help. He's not talking about merely a fall on the ground. The better word picture would be a fall into a pit.
Fall into a pit. Like that old commercial, I fall in and I can't get up. Do you have people who know how to restore you when you've fallen? In any way, if you've fallen emotionally into despair, despondency, do you have people who know how to pick you up? And help you get re-energized, encourage you.
Jonathan found David on the worst day of his life when he was thoroughly discouraged because King Saul was trying to kill him. And he found him. He's running. He's a fugitive. And Jonathan found him.
And the Bible says he strengthened his hands in the Lord. He found him weak and left him strong. Do you have people who do that for you? Who, when they find you at a low point in your life, they know how to lift you up. They'll speak God's word, they'll encourage you, they'll stand by you.
That's what you need. If you fall immorally, do you have people who can pick you up? Say, well, we've got to get this straight. We've got to get this together. God has better plans for you than this.
You need people who have the gift, the ability to restore you. When you've fallen. The third On your questionnaire is in verse 11: if two lie down together, they can keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? Third question: Do you have friends who bring comfort when you're lonely and hurting? You need to assess them.
Do these people pay you? More than they cost you, meaning when you are lonely, when you're hurting, do you have people who, when you get through spending time with them or get through talking to them, you are comforted? Your need is addressed. You can move on a little further. Farther down the road.
You need people who know how to warm you. When you lie down, Together with them because they are trying to keep you from falling into the wrong state of mind and heart. And so this Bible says: when two lie down together, they can keep each other warm. You need somebody who can comfort you when you need it. You need somebody who can get you through a tough time.
Do you have people like that? You know, when you're lonely and hurting, You don't need somebody to come barking what you ought to do. I'm lonely, and you talk to me, How you doing? Oh, boy, this is really bad. I just feel so all alone.
I just really lost so-and-so, whatever, in my life. Oh, you didn't even get over that. I don't need that. That's not helping me. I need somebody who has the gift.
of warming My heart. when it's cold, when it's lonely, when life is tough right now.
Next question on the questionnaire, verse 12 of Ecclesiastes 4. Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Next question, do you have friends who are protective and watch out for you? You need some people who have that. protective instinct. They're not going to let other people sit around talking about you. And get away with it.
Going to have friends who, when somebody tries to dress you down outside of your You're not there and because you're not there they think they can say anything they want Bible calls it so in Discord. And you need friends who, when they are put in a position where they hear that. They'll step in. As if you were there. And said, let's get this straight.
You need people who you know have your back. You don't have to be there. They got my back. If they're there, it's good. Because they're not going to let you get away with it without telling you you're wrong.
You're wrong. Not only is what you're saying not helpful and may not even be true, but you're wrong out of your very motive. Your motive, your heart isn't right. And I know I've had to do that for other friends, and I'm grateful I have people who do that for me. I've had to say that, and sometimes that's awkward.
You're sitting at a table, and because there's somebody not there, and they start talking about them. Listen, I got preacher friends. Let me tell you something: some of these preachers need to live what they preach. They preach against gossip, and some of the biggest gossips I've ever met in my life are preachers. And they'll sit up at a table, and because you're not there, they'll run you down and run your ministry down, and all like that.
And I've had the responsibility to just sit there and say, Pardon me, I happen to know him personally, and everything you just said is wrong. Oh, is that right? Yes, it's right. In fact, let me straighten you out now. Let me tell you the fact.
I did it not long ago. Just running this dude down. I said. Or are you open to hear the truth? Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, tell me tell me.
And in three minutes straight, I got them, and they all sitting there saying, Oh. You need to know that somebody's got your back. If I'm not there. You can't just fool with me cuz my friends got my back. You need some folk who have you covered.
You don't need convenient friends who have to be always liked in every setting. You need people who are willing to be unliked. for your sake.
Now, then go over to Proverbs 17, 17, give you the next question on the questionnaire. Proverbs 17, 17 says, A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Next question: Do you have friends who offer you unconditional love? Because a friend loves at all times. Let me help you understand this season in your life as you're reassessing the inner circle. Understand this: a fair weather friend is not a friend. Write that down.
You need to know that. You need to live by that. A fair weather friend is not a friend. By definition, if you need fair weather, you can't be in my inner circle. Because my inner circle doesn't have fair weather all the time.
There are times it's cloudy. There are times it's storming. There are times there's a blizzard. There are times there's a hurricane in my life. And I don't need folk who only show up when the sun is shining.
Whatever do with you, I don't need you when the sun is shining. I need you when there was just a blizzard.
Some of y'all from the West Coast, you don't even know what that is. But some of you Midwest and East Coast folk, y'all knew what life was like. Wake up, there was a blizzard overnight. You wake up, you can't even get to your car. Got to get a shovel.
I need somebody who comes over, bring this shovel. And help me dig out. Of this situation. I don't need somebody sitting in the house saying, you got a lot of snow, huh? I don't need that.
I can't use you. I need somebody who knows how to go to work. And that's what you need in your life. Throw out all those fair weather friends. Put them in another category.
They can't be in a circle because you don't have fair weather all the time. You need in your inner circle people you can call at 2 in the morning if you need to. I need somebody to pray for me right now. I need somebody to talk to me. I need you to do something.
I'm about to hurt somebody. Come on. That's what you need. I don't need folk who say you can call me between the hours of 10 a.m. At 8 p.m.
Fine, I'm walking you right out to another category in my life. How many know my trouble doesn't come on time? Trouble comes when trouble comes. And I don't need to, boy, I sure would like to talk to him, but it's 10:15. I need that kind of friend who you tell them up front.
They know 24 hours access. I have it to you, and you have it to me. Not going to abuse it. But you have it. Tell you these smartphones can be a blessing.
On my smartphone, it has a do not disturb function. And there are hours where my phone will not ring. But there's an exceptions clause, and you put in the people who are the exceptions or the category. And I have all my inner circle folk in the exceptions, so my phone can ring two in the morning. And I know it's one of them.
My family of origin, of course, my personal family, and then those friends who walk with me, who speak into my life. Those are the folks who can call me anytime because I'll call them anytime. I told my pastor, I said, listen, I need to be able to reach you. First of all, I need to know that you're praying for me by name. I said, I know you cover a lot of people, but when you're praying for me, call my name.
I did. I told him. I just call my name. Don't put me in the category. Bless all the folk I'm covering, G.
Nah. Bless all of them and Paul Shepherd. Said, put my last name in because you might cover more than one Paul. I'm serious. When you get to a place in life where you know the power of prayer and the power of the right folk connected to you, you need to be able to get out of them more than you pour into them.
Um And I have people I can wake up at 3 in the morning if I wouldn't do it short of an emergency, but I have people I can call. Say, listen, I can't sleep, so you can't either get up. It's the way it's gotta be. Do you have people who love you unconditionally? Thanks so much for being here with us for today's Destined for Victory.
We'll pick it up right here next time in our continuing message: Priorities for Victorious Singles. You know Destiny for Victory could not exist without the faithful prayers and financial support of listening friends and partners like you. You've been the lifeblood of this media ministry since its inception, and it's because of you that we can share the gospel of Jesus Christ with people all over the world. We hope you'll consider sending a generous gift to day. When you do, we've got a great resource to share with you as our way of saying thanks.
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Psalm 34, 17 says that when the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.
So, if you need prayer today, our ministry team would be happy to join you. Use the contact feature at the top of our homepage, pastorpaul.net, and share your prayer request with us. PastorPaul.net. Do you have friends who make you a better person? At the end of the day, You need in your inner circle only people.
who are making you better. People who you would say about them. I'm better off with them in my life than without them. That's tomorrow in our message Priorities for Victoria Singles. But until then remember.
He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are destined for victory.
