Hello and welcome to another great day here on Destined for Victory with Pastor Paul Shepard. Coming your way in just a few moments, we answer a fascinating question about marriage, the answer to which you do not want to miss. Before we get going, though, I'd like you to hear a conversation I had with Pastor Paul. I spoke with him about the name of our program, Destined for Victory, which led us to chat about our goal to reach the world for Christ, a mission Pastor Paul wanted to continue long after his preaching days were over. Here's that conversation.
Well, you know, when I think of Victorious, my mind goes back. I'm a kid growing up watching TV in the 60s, so my mind goes back to the wide world of sports. Oh, yeah. There was an announcer named James McKay, Jim McKay, something like that. He had this classic line where he talked about the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.
And I love just thinking about how thrilling it is to be victorious. I love in any game I'm playing, I want to be victorious. I tell people, I don't care whether it's monopoly or something really serious, I want to win. And in life, we can win in Christ, and that's what the Bible tells us: that we are victorious in Him. And victorious means that we're following His lead, that we're letting the Holy Spirit take us where He wants us to go in life.
We're saved by His grace, and then we're simply following His direction. And of course, the Word of God is so key to following God's direction because the Word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our pathway. And so, those who tune in to broadcasts like Destined for Victory are really supposed to be receiving guidance so that we can walk in and live in victory. And that's what I pray is happening as people tune in day by day. We say it every day on the Broadcast in Christ you are destined for victory.
That is our prayer: that you will live the victorious Christian life every single day until the coming of our Lord Jesus. You know that Destined for Victory Media Ministry can often go to places missionaries can't, into remote areas of the world that are often hostile to the Christian faith, we can also make it inside the homes of elderly shut-ins or those who can't always make it to church. Just one more reason why your gifts to Destined for Victory are so critical to the cause of Christ. For your generous donation today, we'd love to send you the latest resource as our way of saying thanks. It's a message called Grown Up Faith, a booklet I believe every Christian should read.
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There was a Christian author who wrote a book: If you are 30 and unmarried, it's your fault. Christian Arthur. There's a Greek word for that, paloney.
Nowhere in the Bible does it say if you're 30 and unmarried. It's your fault? The good news is, you don't have to blame yourself if you're not married. You haven't disqualified yourself from walking down the aisle. But there's also some bad news, and we'll share with you next on today's Destined for Victory featuring Paul Shepard.
Along the way, you'll hear about three theories on how to find a spouse, all of which are supported by the Word of God.
Now, let's get started with Pastor Paul's Destined for Victory message: Is marriage my future? There is no temptation. That has taken you, but such that is common to man. Then he says, but God is faithful. Who will not allow you to be tempted?
Above that which you can stand, but will with the temptation. Make a way of escape. That you may be able to bear.
Some of you singles can testify. God might not have promised me a guarantee that I'm going to get married, but he has given me a promise that when temptation runs up on me, there is a way of escape that God himself has created so that I don't have to yield. There is a promise. Not everybody takes advantage of the promise. But there is a promise.
The promise is, and this is a promise for single people and for married people. That there is nothing God will allow you to be tempted with. The enemy brings a temptation. Your flesh Presents a temptation, but God, because you belong to Him, He says, Before I let that temptation set hold, I will make sure. There's a way of escape.
If you want out, God says, I'm going to get you out. Isn't that good news? But on this matter of guaranteed marriage, it's not a biblical concept. Not a biblical concept at all. The Bible didn't promise you, unless you have the gift of singleness, God has promised He's going to give you a spouse.
However, again, my answer was. Marriage may be in your future. I'm not saying it won't, I'm just saying it's not a guarantee for all singles. From a biblical standpoint.
Now, from a historical standpoint, that's also true. Historically, There has never been a time anywhere in redemptive history when every single person who was open to and available for marriage. Got married. It's just not a historical reality. There have been many men and women of faith who were open to the prospect of marriage if the right person came into their lives and they chose to partner with them in life partnership.
There were many who were open to that, and it just never happened. And I want to say it is not because they lacked faith. It is not because they were walking in disobedience. Because there are those who will teach you that. There was a Christian author who wrote a book: if you are 30 and unmarried, it's your fault.
Kristen Arthur. There's a Greek word for that, baloney. Greek word for that, bologna.
Nowhere in the Bible does it say if you're 30 and unmarried, it's your fault. No, no. The fact of the matter is there are many who have been open to that prospect. And it never happened for them.
So it's not a historical reality that every person, man and woman of faith, who is open to marriage actually gets married. Here's what you need to understand. Marriage is an institution ordained by God. but voluntarily entered into by a man and a woman, who officially and legally covenant to live together, in matrimony. God doesn't make them Get married.
Rather, he blesses and sanctions the covenant they choose to enter into. That's important for you to understand. God is the author of marriage. He's the founder, the creator of the institution of marriage. But that is not to say That He is the one who personally.
ordains that every person Who doesn't have this giftedness that Paul spoke of is. guaranteed a spouse, no? The Bible simply teaches That it is a human institution, ordained, created by God, but humans choose to enter into it.
Some choose. Two enter in, some do not choose, some are open to it. But it does not happen. for them.
So marriage, brothers and sisters, is not inevitable. But it may be in your future.
Now, if it is in your future, let's talk about how this hookup. is supposed to occur. There are three positions in the kingdom of God regarding how people hook up for marriage. What I want to say is that each position is legitimate. There are people of faith who hold each of the positions.
And you are free to. What I want to say, though, is you can't impose one position as the only right one. As if the others are wrong.
So I want to share all three with you. 'Cause all of you who may get married one day will fall into one of these three categories. Here's the first one. The first position I call the Cinderella theory. There are some people who believe there is one person God has sort of ordained.
in eternity past that they are to hook up with. And that, what they are believing God to do is to bring them together with that one and only person that God has preordained. There are some people who believe that's the way the hookup occurs. God Picked them. He's going to bring you all into general proximity, and all y'all have to do is.
Hook up. Close the deal. It's kind of e-harmony on high. God did it. You just Finish it up.
Some people believe that. I call it the Cinderella theory because it's like the story of Cinderella. You know, there was only one woman in the whole kingdom who's. Foot perfectly fit that slipper. Remember that story?
I love that story. I love a lot of these fairy tales. They got truth in them, too. Love that story. And you know, you remember that Cinderella all home, tattered.
Her evil god sisters and godmothers don't want her to go, and they go to the ball trying to impress the prince, but she's home alone. But God blesses her with a fairy godmother. And the fairy godmother, you know, gets her ready and turns the pumpkin into a carriage and tattered clothes into a gown, gets her all set, gets her hair dead, and nails did, and she's ready to go. She shows up. At the ball, y'all remember that she stands at the top of the steps.
Princess has danced with all the other folk, but none of them are ringing his bell. But oh, he looks up and sees this woman. And the song wasn't out in his day, but if it had been out, he'd have sung it. When I first saw you, I said, Oh my. Oh my, that's a dream.
Some of y'all never saw Dream Girls. You'll know what I just said. All right. And so you know the story, they dance and they get along, and it's all wonderful, and the man's feeling great. This is the woman I've been waiting on.
Oh, but the clock starts to strike toward 12. And she has to run out because the fairy godmother told her, You're going to have to get out of there by 12. All this magic is going to go away at 12. And she runs out, but she runs out of one of the slippers. and gets back home.
Now she back to the tattered clothes and what have you hiding in the house. But the prince has the one slipper. And you know how he goes around the kingdom and he tries on a many afoot trying to find who this woman was. And they're all trying to get their foot in there. They want to be the princess.
So they're all working hard, trying to get their. Got to get that foot in there. That's what some of y'all are doing right now. That's why God's sending this, because you're trying to fit some slipper that you have no business trying to get in. You know, good and well, your foot ain't gonna fit in that slipper, but you keep on trying to make it.
I don't know why this thing isn't hunting. And I came to tell you: get your foot out there so you know that don't belong to you. Trying to hook up with this raggedy man, trying to make something work that you know ain't gonna work. Get your foot out that slipper. Marrying as a project.
You don't do that. If it's not for you, believe it, it's not for you. Don't try to marry as a project. You're going to find your project is over budget and behind schedule. But anyway, you know the story that the prince showed up and he found Cinderella and her foot went in there perfectly and then she turns back into the beautiful woman she was at the thing and they ride off and they live happily ever after.
Now, there's a lot of y'all who believe that in the kingdom. You're sort of a Cinderella theory. You believe God's going to hook you up and this magical thing is going to happen. If you believe that, according to your faith, be it unto you. It's not my job to talk you out of that.
So, for some of you that you believe that's the way God's going to do it. Great. Second theory is not Cinderella. I call it a second theory any good size eight will do. Any good size eight will do.
Some of you all hold this position. This position says there are any number of people I could potentially marry and be in the will of God. If you hold that position, you tend to think of things like... What Paul said later on in 1 Corinthians 7, where he says, Marry who you will. Just make sure they're in the Lord.
Paul did say that. And so those who hold any good size eight theory will do theory. They believe. But You can marry a number of people that God didn't preordain that you hook up with just this one person. They believe you could marry any number of people.
who could be reasonably suited for you, and the two of you may enter into covenant, live together, and it works well. And in fact, there are many saints who married that way, and that's exactly what has panned out in their lives. And you know, those who really promote that idea say things like, well, look at the kingdom of God. Many folks got married before they even got saved. But now that they're saved and in the kingdom, they commit to one another, they do what it takes to make the marriage work, and things work out.
It wasn't like it was the only person they could have been married to. They weren't even saved when it happened.
So There are some who are looking For any good size eight. If that's what you're doing in faith, the Lord will bless you. According to your faith, be it unto you. Don't let the Cinderella folk talk you out of it. If you're doing your investigating, checking out all the size eights.
That's fine. Do it honorably. We'll be right back with more of today's Destined for Victory message, so don't go away. Don't forget to visit us at pastorpaul.net to listen to the broadcasts on demand. And when you stop by, be sure to check out our online store where you'll find books and video messages that feature the teaching and preaching ministry of Pastor Paul Shepard.
That's Pastor Paul.net. You can also subscribe to the podcast at Apple Podcasts, at Spotify, or wherever you enjoy your podcasts.
Well, there are three biblical ways to find a spouse, and the third one might surprise you.
Now let's get you back to the second half of today's message. Is marriage my future? That's what pastor is here to tell you. If you are investigating the size 8, because people who believe that theory tend to date. A number of people.
They tend not to just be looking for this one soulmate. They tend to date a number of people. I'm just challenging you, if that's your position, do it honorably. When you're trying on the size eights, there are certain things you can't try. I'm gonna be straight.
I'm shooting straight. Just blush when you have to. If you were trying out the size eights. Sex is off the table. That's not part of the trial.
Don't let the enemy lie to you.
Well, how are you gonna know if you're compatible? in that area. Since you said they got to be the only one you have sex with for the rest of your life, I heard you, Pastor. You the one with preaching that. And since you said that.
Trying to put me in it. Like, what I got to do with you trying to figure out how to sin? Since you said that, it just makes sense that you need to check them out in that area and make sure y'all are compatible. No. You check out all the God-ordained areas.
You talk about the right issues. Then, when it comes to that one, when you get in the pre-engagement counseling with the pastor, the pastor is gonna talk y'all through some things. And I can determine while we're sitting there talking, everybody's clothes on. I can determine whether y'all are going to have a struggle or not. But If you do it God's way, you won't come out of the deal disappointed.
Because God's the one who said, Don't touch them till they say I do, until you say I do, and the covenant has taken place. Don't touch them in that way until that happens. Since that's God's idea, he's not setting you up for failure. And if you get the right kind of counseling, you'll be fine. I counseled a mini person, and they did it God's way, and were just trusting God that this area is going to be all right.
And they came back and said, thank you, Jesus. They come back. Typically, when they come back first Sunday, they give me a big hug. Oh, Pastor! One brother was scared.
One brother was scared. He said, Pastor. I'm concerned. He said, I got a little bit of a pass, and we talked about it and all that. She's straight, but she don't have no past.
She's been believing God and holding herself pure. And he said, I'm a little concerned. I hope I can hold up. I said, what you mean? He said, just pray for me.
I said, oh, oh, yeah, God's going to give you strength, brother. God is going to give you strength. You're going to be all right. Anyway, that's not in my notes.
Now there's a third theory. Third theory. I don't have a cute title for it. It's arranged marriages. Arranged marriages.
Now see here in the Western Hemisphere, we don't think a lot about it. Because it's not popular among us. But the fact of the matter is In today's world, More than half of the people who are married on the planet today or married as a result of an arranged marriage. More than half. You know why that strikes us strange?
Because we live in America, and America's, we tend to think the way we do it is the way the world does it. We are full of ourselves. We have the World Series and don't invite the world to play. Come on, y'all know we are tripped.
Now, you just might as well admit it. We are a hot mess. We are a straight. Shrimp. How you had a World Series and the world can't play?
We're just full of ourselves. Fact of the matter is, most people on the planet get married through arranged marriages. The last statistic I saw was nearly 60%. More than half of the people married today. On the planet, it's arranged marriages.
You even see it in your Bible. You look it over because you're not trying to get married that way, but it's right in your Bible. Look at Genesis chapter 24. Remember when Abraham. was looking for a spouse for his son Isaac.
And he's an old man laying on the bed. He got his servant. And he told his servant, Put your hand under my thigh. It's a sign of covenant. He said, and promise me.
that you will find a suitable woman for my son Isaac. He told him don't pick her From one of these heathen countries, he laid it out. Said Find the right woman. and bring her back here, so my son Isaac, who has now lost his mother, He can have A wife. Read Genesis 24 and you get a chance.
The servant went praying. He said, Lord, I don't know what I'm doing here. But I need you to guide me. He put out a fleece. Remember that?
He said, Lord. Make it so that the woman that I'm supposed to take back for Isaac. comes out to meet me, offers water. At the well. Remember that?
And the Lord honored his faith. And he met Rebecca. Long story short. He brings Rebecca back. Isaac is in the field.
Grieving the death of his mother. And he looks up and here comes his father's servant. And a beautiful woman And the servant says, Isaac, Rebecca. Becca? How is it?
Y'all get to know each other. And he's done his work. And the Bible says Isaac was comforted. During the time of grieving of the loss of his mother in the arms of a brand new wife. Arranged.
It's legitimate. Happens a lot. Just not in your family. What am I saying? Doesn't matter which of the theories you buy into.
God can work in either of them.
So whatever you hold, hold it in faith. Believe In faith. And the Lord will bless you. There's no guarantee. But these are the ways people hook up.
In marriage. I wish, frankly, let me just be honest with you as I wrap this up. We'll continue the next message. Let me just be honest, I wish there were more arranged marriages. Cause clearly we don't know what we doing.
Now, I wasn't expecting to get a whole lot of amen's on that point. I didn't say it to get a whole lot of amen's, but many of you old heads know if our kids would let us. We could keep y'all from making these dumb decisions. Y'all bringing something up in there talking about you want to marry it? And we looking at you like, are you on crack?
What's the matter with you? In the world make you think this is a halfway good idea. Yeah. My mother would say things like that don't make mule sense My mother loved talking about mule sense. I never did figure out what mule sense was.
She said, Don't make, she's a country girl, don't make mule sense. I wish some of our children would trust us. I'll hook you up. I'm not going to do you wrong. I bet our statistics would beat these current ones.
These current ones more than half of what y'all picking ain't working out for you. We had one couple in Philadelphia, never made it home from the honeymoon. When you saw 'em before they got married, you couldn't get air between them. Just all hugged up just oh, just just Ooh, ooh. By the time they got home.
They went in two separate directions. Because they didn't get counsel. Didn't see God. Didn't seek the wisdom of the pastor of the church. Thought they knew what they were doing.
So I wish personally I wish Some of y'all need to trust your pastor to pick your spouse for you. I just wanted to see your shock and all. Let's stand. We're so glad you stopped by for today's Destined for Victory message: Is Marriage My Future? To find out more about Destined for Victory's mission and purpose, or about the special gift reserved for you when you give generously today, please come see us at pastorpaul.net.
That's pastorpaul.net. Marriage is a job, it's ministry. It's not glamour, it's ministry. You gotta sacrifice to have a good marriage. You gotta take a step back from some of the stuff you wanna do to have a good marriage.
You gotta compromise to have a good marriage. And that's tomorrow when Pastor Paul Shepard shares his message: act like a Christian lady, think like a Christian man. Until then remember. He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are destined for victory.
