Justin Trudeau announces he will resign as Prime Minister of Canada. Republicans get off to a very smart start in the new Congress.
And the left loses its mind as Trump talks about acquiring Greenland, the Panama Canal, and even Canada. I'm Greg Kourambas. Join Jim Geraghty of National Review and me each weekday for the 3MartiniLunch Podcast. We'll give you the good, bad, and crazy news of the day, and hopefully a lot of laughs too. Follow the 3MartiniLunch on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man.
So I have two. This is crazy. So in this shoplifting scheme, I had a listener that sent this to me and they got my attention by going, uh-oh, D-Lash, clean up on Isle Brown. It's from the Miami Herald.
And there's also a story from Fox 13. They got the CCTV footage. Deputies are searching for a couple that are accused of stealing $500 of items from a dollar store. The suspect, the woman, intentionally defecated on the store's floor as a way to distract while the man she was with began to steal everything.
Polk County deputies are investigating. They said that Ms. Dookie is on the run after a messy burglary at the Mulberry Family Dollar Store. So they walked in.
He walked around the store, gathered $500 worth of products like Gain Tide Clorox. And while he was getting that, the woman distracted everybody by deucing on the floor. And an employee had to clean up the mess she made.
She should have had to clean it up. It's a poo and run. How do you not find them? How do you, I mean, go into a dollar store. Okay, something is wrong with you.
You're like, okay, here's my idea on how to steal from Family Dollar. I'm going to go and poop on the floor and you can just grab everything, throw it in a basket and let's run. Yeah, that whole last part. That whole last part would have worked fine without the first part. Well, that whole needing to poop on the floor isn't a need.
But how do you, okay, how much time do we have here? I don't like public restrooms. I hate them.
I'll explore before I have to use them. It's a thing. It might be TMI. But my question is, how does a woman, how do you just do that, like that in public, like theatrically? You just like do something on the floor like that. I know it's part of your shoplifting scheme. But how do you get to the point where you're like, okay, I'm saving it up. I'm going to go and dookie on the floor of the Family Dollar.
Seems like you have to plan your eating 12 plus hours in advance. Like that has to be, that's like, that has to be timed out. I don't know. That's, oh, gosh. A Florida man went on a smash and grab at a St. Pete Publix. Oh, well, at least he didn't dookie in the floor. He went on a string of smash and grab burglaries. Corey Kendrick, 11 vehicles stealing the items inside. They think he's responsible for other other thefts and that more charges could be coming. But apparently he did not care about any of the videos as he's just on camera running through smashing everything like full view. Great CCT footage of him. And a Florida man suffered severe injury while selling fireworks illegally.
He was selling them out of literally off the side of the road in a U-Haul van, and he blew off two of his fingers. Stick with us. It's our friends over at All Family Pharmacy. This is such a great service.
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Only at allfamilypharma.com slash Dana. If you like true crime, you'll love the Miracle Files podcast. We share real stories with the suspense of true crime, but we'll leave you with a sense of light and hope. Like the college wrestler who fought a grizzly, the woman who was dead for nearly an hour, or the child lost in a dark mine for days. These are the kind of stories that remind us miracles are real.
Subscribe to The Miracle Files wherever you get your podcasts and join us on this thrilling journey of faith and miracles. You want to see somebody that responds to your house, your emergency, whether it's a medical call or a fire call that looks like you. It gives that person a little bit more ease, knowing that somebody might understand their situation better. Is she strong enough to do this or you couldn't carry my husband out of a fire? Which my response is he got himself in the wrong place if I have to carry him out of a fire.
I don't believe that she could carry. That's one of the Christians. That's one of the fire department Christians. Remember? So Cain missed this yesterday. Welcome back.
Dana Lash here with you. Cain, I don't know if you knew this, though, because Cain was iced in. He was literally in his own he-glue.
Yeah, I like that. Yeah, you were all like trying to stay warm in a he-glue, dude. He was all iced in. Juan was in a he-glue. They were all iced in yesterday. They couldn't move.
They did not, in fact, want to build a snowman. And I found, and a friend told me, you know, there are a lot of Christians, lesbian Christians, that work in the fire department. And I'm not talking about then like, oh, well, why are they lesbians? Why are they all named Kristen is my big thing, number one. I'm going to get to the meat and potatoes of this video.
Cain, you missed that, though. They're all named Kristen and they're all old white lesbians, except for that Kristen, and she is an older black woman. They're all literally named Kristen.
Like all of them. I don't even know how to explain that. It reminded me of that episode of Shorzee. If you haven't seen it, it's hysterical. It's a Canadian. It's very blue humor.
It's a Canadian series. That's what your mom said. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sanguinet. But it has this, it's a guy who does Letterkenny, too, right? So he does Shorzee. And it's one of the funniest shows I've ever seen in my life. But you've got to like that humor.
But it is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. This guy, you know, he's going up, what is it, a triple A hockey league like somewhere up in Saskatoon or something like that? Anyway, they recruit these and one of them apparently is a real hockey. There are a lot of real hockey players in it.
But this guy is like apparently a brawler. And there's these three dudes and they're all named Jim. And I'd play part of the show, but they'll cite us on YouTube.
Cite us on YouTube. So they're all named Jim. And, you know, you got Shorzee, who's the title, you know, the star of the show, who's trying to figure out how they're going to make that work on the hockey team. He's like, so what, you know, if I call Jim, all three of you can't get up. And they all want to be called Jim because it's their first name.
And it just gave me such a Shorzee feel. Like, why in the world are you? They're all Christian.
So what happens? You're at the fire department. Christian. There's like a million lesbians. And you can't even go, lesbian Christian. You can't even do that because they're all lesbians, too. You can't even go old lesbian Christian because they're all old lesbians named Christian. The only thing you can do is go the black lesbian Christian.
But that might not work very well in Los Angeles, right? I don't think you're supposed to do things like that. But they're all named Christian. How else do you literally all of them are Christian? All of them.
I mean, to make it even worse, you can't even go the old blonde lesbian, Kristen, because they're all all blonde lesbians named Kristen. All of them. I'm not making this up. Literally all of them.
Can I know you said what? That's very diverse. Is it diverse if they're all old white lesbians?
I think we should just go with middle initials. So you have Kristen Crowley. She's the first she's the fire chief. And they're very they're like, she's the gosh, it's Friday.
How many of you are really listening today? Everybody. She's the first cane. She's the first. Oh, my gosh. She's the first that she is an alphabet fire chief.
I'm totally fine with that. But why are all of you named Kristen? She went to Harvard Business School. Her apparently mission in life is to the creation of systemic equity and inclusion.
I don't even know what the hell that means. Then you got Kristin Kempner. She's the chief assistant chief of the fire department, Harvard Kennedy School for managing diverse organizations. WTF that means her greatest achievement was she got accused of domestic violence because she whooped on her girlfriend.
Then you have Kristen Larson. She's the first lesbian equity bureau. So that's the black lesbian. She's also I don't know. She got her job because everybody's racist.
That's why she got her job. And then oh, and then you got also a lesbian. But her name's not Kristin. The lone exception, Jamie. Her big thing, her claim to fame is she's not named Kristin. So you got Kristin, Kristin, Kristin and Jamie.
The three Kristins and Jamie, Kristin cubed and Jamie. All unable to carry a human male out of not a damn one of these women could carry a dude. So back to the video.
The hell does that mean? Like, she's shaming people for getting caught in fires. Like, how are you drowning? You should be drowning in the first place.
Like what the hell kind of video is this? How is it not victim blaming? How is that not victim blaming? Should have got raped in the first place. You're somewhere you shouldn't be if you're getting raped. Shouldn't have wore that. Yeah, you're somewhere you shouldn't be if you're drowning.
You're somewhere you shouldn't be if you got hit or by another automobile. Right. I mean, it's like someone's like, I think I'm gonna go into that fire over there.
That's not what happened. What kind of video is this? I love how she thought she was being super clever. Now how she like pause for a beat.
This is so Hollywood. Pause for she's doing a fire thing, a little fire PSA. But she's like, I know I, if I'm there carrying your husband out of your house, uh, he got himself in the wrong place. Yeah.
He must be in purgatory if you're carrying him out of the house because no way on God's green earth in this real scape. Could you do that, Jamie? Or no, wait her. She's Kristen. That's right.
What are the odds though? Right? Yeah, that is weird.
Like who's, who's handling HR over there? Is there a book of lesbian names? That's like when you're playing Uno and you have all green and you really need the color to be green. So you're encouraging everyone to make the color green. Is that why they're all named Kristen? Cause the fire chief is Kristen and she's like, I need some Christians. Need a whole crew of Christians over here.
The Kristen crew. Well, I could go on about this forever. Not a single thing. One of them apparently can do my, I think all the like the people who are actually out there fight fighting fires are the ones, you know, make doing everything. And the people who are making the calls are the problem. Kind of like a DOD, right? Same, same situation like a DOD. You know, these, these people are the problems.
They're the problems. It's a wild. I don't know. I mean, for her to say that, well, he shouldn't have got himself in the fire in the first place. Who says something like that? She's and then when she was going on in the video, uh, you know, yeah, it's, you know what, if people that look like you rescuing you from a fire, what do you, you caught that part, right?
You caught that part where she's talking about being rescued and how, how it must be nice for people who are in fires to be rescued by people who look like them as opposed to what, like a dolphin coming up and rescuing you out of the fire as opposed to what a two headed Martian as opposed to what, by the way, any, I don't want anybody that looks like me coming to cause kind of get me out of fire cause they couldn't lift my ass up. I'm a buck 20. I lie a little bit. I'm like, ah, I live on my height and I try to make myself sound bigger than I am. I'm like, no, I'm really five eight and I weigh 145.
Yeah, that sounds good. It's not real. It's fake news. I mean, I don't want anybody that my friend Dave bird says he doesn't want anybody that looks like him because he's an old fat drunk coming and rescuing him from the fire. He's not fat and he's not a drunk. We're missing the point that everybody, every firefighter would come into a fire completely in gear, helmet, face thing, the whole night.
No one's looking like anybody. Dude, dude, dude, this is Los Angeles. Their uniforms might say like I'm an old white lesbian or I'm a, you know, a black lesbian or I am just black, not a lesbian. So I am less on the lower on the totem pole. They probably can't even say totem pole out there. I'm lower on the ladder than the, the other people with more identity boxes checked.
It's a long tag. Mental illness aside, no one looks like mental illness or did they just have too much damn free time on their hands? I think it's too much free time that led to mental. People are sitting around making up problems. Mental illness. Like when you're burning to death in a fire, do you care if it's a white or black lesbian or lesbian at all?
People without mental illness don't think so. I mean, oh man, it's taken everything I have right now to not go full George Carlin. It's crazy. Oh Lord, put a hand over my mouth.
It's taken everything I have. No one's looking like you when they're coming into a fire. Like you're, you're dying to death in a fire, right?
Do you care if it's a, that shows up? I almost had the button done. Did anyone hear that? No, I don't think they heard echoes. That was it. Did you? I'm just saying. Stop. Does it matter?
Nobody cares. I'm going to be grabbing onto anybody. If I am burning. Martians.
Yes. If I'm burning. Dead, burnt lesbians.
I don't care. I'm going to hold on to you. Give me out. If I'm burning and an alligator walks by and offers the tail. I'm grabbing that alligator. I would take it.
I would take it. If Bigfoot came in and was like, yes, get me out. Even little foot. Yeah.
Or little foot. I mean, give me another cryptid, any cryptid. I don't care. You know, I mean, if Joe Biden came by, I'd accept the help. If I'm dying in a fire, you know what I mean? Like nobody cares.
Why is it such a big thing with the left? That I would die. Like someone would go, I was going to allow myself to be rescued out this fire, but then I saw that you don't check enough identity politic boxes for me.
So no, thanks. I'm going to burn to death and just snuggle on into the flames. You know, hence my diagnosis of mental illness. Or they have way too much free time. Some of them I think are mentally ill. Some of them I think are bored, right? They're bored. Like what else would these women be doing right now?
Landscaping like what else? They're bored. I just I don't know, man. All of them.
I am. I have never been more fascinated with an aspect of a story than this. And I cannot tell you, by the way, and this is the funniest part of it. So there, you know, we got a lot of a big coalition that listens to the show. And we have a lot of people who you might say are in the alphabet community, unwillingly. They don't like the labels and they're conservative. They just want to, you know, not be taxed to death and they want to be left the hell alone.
Don't we all? It's the new American dream. And I actually had conservative leaning lesbians right in and go, is this it? First off, I had two different listeners who are of that persuasion who said, yeah, there are a lot of lesbians named Kristen.
I have never heard this in my life. And I about died reading the email. I just I died. I did die. And I came back to life.
It was hysterical. And then some were saying it's what you were saying. That's just the mental illness out in California.
I doubt that they were even born with that name. So it's like half and half the community. Half and half the community.
It's one of the most fascinating things I've ever I'm just dying laughing over it. I mean, I shouldn't. But if there is any kind of, you know, lightness to the story at all, maybe it's that. But also, it's all it's bad because this is apparently what they focused on. Look, the right doesn't want to sit here. I mean, some of them do. But we all don't want to sit here and, you know, and dice up everybody's little identity politic box. I don't care.
It's the people in these groups that are trying to make you care. No, we don't care. In fact, Cain and I were raised in a generation where you were raised to not GAF and you were encouraged to not GAF.
And in fact, you were told in multiple PSAs to stop giving a GAF. And so guess what? We don't care. Leave us alone. When you stop leaving us alone. That's the moment that you cross the line and you make us care.
But otherwise, leave us alone. But this is like, it has to be like, that's like listed on someone's resume as though it's an achievement. Well, I worked really hard and decided to like vagina. Like, you know, well, how does that it's not they listed on a resume like it's an achievement.
It's like they want to other themselves so bad. And I am floored because that's not at all how, you know, we that's not how society was when we were coming up. Also, not how society was, was our emergency people saying things like, oh, well, if I'm having to come and help you in an emergency, you just found yourself in the wrong. Yeah, you're in the wrong place. Well, duh, bitch. I'm in a fire. It's not a right place to be at. Just saying. I just I am.
Oh, my gosh. And then Lorraine adds more fuel to the fire. She goes, Now, you know, the Christians are also all paramedics as well.
Wait, is Christian gonna be the new Karen? I don't know. There's a lot of Christians and they certainly I only know one Christian in my life.
I only know one Christian. She's not a lesbian. But I don't know.
It's just a fascinating thing to me. I don't know. But I wouldn't want that woman to carry me out.
I don't care. I don't think she she don't have the if someone said an actual firefighter told me, when it comes to blazes like this, upper body strength matters. Upper body strength is the difference. And they said that's why it's really difficult for women. And that's a great perspective. There's an actual firefighter who works in California, up Northern California, who emailed that and I thought it was a great point.
And that's true. I mean, look, in my mind, I like to pretend that I'm like super hardcore. Maybe, I don't know, maybe, but I'm, I'm a buck 20. I lie all the time. And I'm like, No, I'm 5'7, 5'8, I'm 5'6. But this doesn't leave us.
This is our private discussion, right? And I try to inflate how large I am. And see if like, you guys don't know if I can just if I just sit here and I shrug down and I wear a baggy sweater, I could be, you guys don't know. But I, I know my limitations physically as well. I know what I can lift.
I know, you know, what, what my limit is. And you can't just bend those rules or suspend them all together. Because you want to promote a false sense of inclusiveness. And it is a false sense of inclusiveness.
Because it doesn't, it's not, it does. It's not about the mission. You're, this is mission creep stuff. The folks over at Caltech, Caltech, longtime friend of the show. I'm a huge fan of what Caltech does. I'm a huge fan of their firearms. Everything's built right here in the U.S. of A in Florida. They have got a great story, great all American story. As we head into the later part of January, this is all just about the same time, every year that Caltech unveils the new things that they've been working on.
This year is not going to be any kind of exception for that. George Kellgren, who's the president, founder, designer, mad scientist. He's actually one of the few major firearms designers still alive today leading the way in innovation. You know, they invented the Micro Compact Pistol category. They came out last year with the lightest, thinnest double stack nine millimeter on the market.
That's the P-15. Everything they do is quality made right here in America. They got the fold and half carbine, the sub 2Ks, the whole family, that whole line. They have the KSG shotguns, the RDB bullpup series, and they stand behind everything that they make. Now, they're going to be dropping some some new product later this month. I'll be at SHOT Show broadcasting live for that industry event. So there's going to be some new product and we'll talk all about it when it happens. You can visit keltechweapons.com. Sign up for their newsletter, check out their social media. And you can also get on the inside track so you can be made aware when they drop new stuff.
Innovation Performance, Kel-Tec, K-E-L-T-E-C, keltechweapons.com. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. Is When the Levee Breaks by Zeppelin. Is that just not one of the best songs ever? I'm just telling you. The TikTok ban going to SCOTUS. And it's they're battling for survival TikTok in the United States as the decision forwards fate is now underway.
I don't know. I just I don't know why people are defending it so much. It doesn't help any of politicians who are like, yeah, we got to get rid of TikTok.
And then they're like, TikTok's great. I'm not on it. I just I just don't have time.
And also, I can only watch so many videos of people looking at the camera. It's the Supreme Court just came out and said that they're they're looking to uphold that ban. That's what the SCOTUS just said. I got this one minute ago. They're looking to uphold the ban?
A minute ago. So they're good. So it's unless they're able to get like a net. Well, you can't. The SCOTUS can't.
You can't feel it. All right. So I don't know if you guys saw this Venezuelan opposition leader, Maria Corina Machado, was reportedly kidnapped by Maduro in Venezuela, you know, because they have free elections and all that good stuff there.
Right. And Venezuela, isn't that how it works? She there's a couple of different reports of how it happened, but they she was apparently reportedly freed after she was violently intercepted is how it was described. And having she left her hideout to protest Maduro.
So that's, you know, if you want to know where free and fair elections don't happen, it's there. Novak Djokovic said he was poisoned by lead in his food after he was detained over covid during the Australian Open. He had refused to get the experimental injection and he said he was poisoned by food that he ate while he was detained during that 2022 whole thing. He was in a Melbourne hotel and they said he goes, I was fed some food that poisoned me. And he monitors his diet pretty strictly. It's like a thing that he's actually pretty famous for.
GQ did a whole piece on it once. So he said that he had flu like symptoms and he had an emergency medical treat team treat him when he got back to Europe. But he said it was lead. Somebody poisoned him?
That's good night. Bank of America is bracing for massive bond losses as yields soar. New headline. The sharp rise in rates since the end of the third quarter has widened losses on bank securities portfolio on their portfolio. And it could become an investor issue again when banks start reporting their fourth quarter results.
That's like next week, excuse me, beginning of next week. And let's see here. We got to get a couple of other things as well, which we're going to talk about the president saying 100 percent help for people affected by the fires out in California. We're going to have to revisit Hurricane Helene here. And this also happened this morning for injured after a Delta flight aborted to take off at a snow covered Atlanta airport because it's been snowing in Atlanta. They said it was about nine a.m. local time. They told passengers to duck down and evacuate after the plane accelerated to take off. They said it was they had ongoing severe weather. There were people who were treated on the scene. Everybody's OK now, apparently, but they said it was due to an engine issue. What we know right now is that the incident occurred, started here and about 20 minutes, 30 minutes later, a suspect was detained over in Woodland Hills area by citizens. So someone purposely set the kind of fire at this time?
That's what we believe. Yes. Do you know how or why they did that? I don't know. Is this a crime scene right now? It's being closed off.
It's being. Yes. It's being investigated as a crime. Wow.
Unbelievable. Yes, it's being investigated. It's you know, there were a lot of questions about that. There were a lot of questions about whether or not there was arson that was involved in this.
And everybody was the media and the left was so quick to climate change, climate change. Is that a new name? Maybe that's all the arsonists. You know how like all the fire people in L.A. are gay, lesbians named Kristen. Maybe all the arsonists are named climate change. Clie for short, you know.
Could be. Welcome back to the program. Dana Lesh with you.
We are at the top of this second hour. There's ice and snow on the ground and I'm forever wearing turtlenecks on the show. Someone asked me in an email, how many of those do you actually own an ungodly number? I buy something in black and I'll buy the same thing three times. And I because I don't like to think about what I wear.
I am very like Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg about that stuff. If I could just wear the same thing every day, I would. So less energy that you have to exert over that. But it's cold. It's cold. And houses in Texas, building structures in Texas are designed to let the heat out, not keep it in. So it's code in Texas.
So you're lucky that I'm not wearing a scarf and a socket to all the same time with mittens guys are lucky. Anyway, so welcome Dana Lesh with you. Find us at YouTube and Facebook, like and subscribe.
And you can also find us over at sub stack chapter inverse the newsletter. And this whole I was listening to some of the stats for this and you know, with the arsonists because there's now two arsonists that have been arrested, I think, maybe potentially three. Listen to this extent of the damage. So this is just the Palisades fire. There's several different fires.
Audio soundbite 30. Listen to how bad this fire is. Palisades fires.
This fire was currently tracked at 20,438 acres, with 3,073 problems. And 73 personnel assigned crews worked very, very hard overnight, strengthening our containment lines and addressing multiple spot fires in and around the Topanga Canyon area. Resources responded to the area included our air assets to aid in the containment efforts due to the favorable overnight weather conditions and the diligent and I'll focus on the diligent work and effort and commitment of our first responders. We can report that the Palisades fire is now 8% contained. Wind gusts are expected to increase in daylight hours that will test our containment lines.
Our firefighters will continue to respond. So they're saying that it's over 20,000 acres. So it's like basically larger than Manhattan.
The Manhattan is 14,600 acres. This is over 20. But they said in this, play this audio soundbite. I know this is brand new. This is from LAPD. This is about one of the arsonists that they caught specifically that had the blood torch.
We had some of that video for you. Listen to what LAPD says here. They responded. They interviewed this suspect. After the interview and additional investigative steps, looking at some additional evidence that was present, they made the determination that there was not enough probable cause to arrest this person on arson or suspicion of arson. And therefore this person was arrested on a felony probation violation. If you caught him in the act, though, and the video shows that he's literally there with a blowtorch trying to set stuff on fire.
It was like one of those ring camera things. How is that not probable cause? Right. Enough by itself there, Cain.
How is that not? It's plenty. But they're going to do what they're going to do is they're going to say, well, we got to, you know, do this investigation. Then they'll gather that video evidence and then they'll go over it and then they'll change your story later. But this is that they do PR wise every single time.
This is also goofy. You don't have enough. There's not enough. We don't have enough probable cause to we got him with a literally on camera trying to set stuff on fire with a blowtorch. Like literally he had a blowtorch and was setting stuff on fire and he got caught by a ton of passerby.
I wonder how long it's going to be. They had five people that watched him set things on fire. Five people who don't even know each other, who saw him independently try to set something on fire. And that's why they all intervened and took him down. But they don't have enough probable cause for that charge.
So they just got him on felony probation. And his name isn't out there. Really? I want to know these people's names.
Oh, yeah, I want to know their names. If I knew if somebody was a firebug, I was like, I would just put put their name out there as law enforcement because man, oh man, you would watch a community come together to hunt somebody down real quick. I mean, no, it's not illegal to carry a blowtorch at all. It is illegal to take the blowtorch you're carrying and try to set stuff on fire in alleyways.
That's illegal. And that's what five people saw him do. And they told this to police. So I don't know what that, you know, can you make a good point?
Bring up the point you just put inside. Yeah, I just wonder how long it'll take before they start demonizing the people that actually caught him doing that. Yeah. I wonder if he did it alone. I think he was by himself at the time it happened.
But whether or not he did everything alone is a good question. I'm just that that was weird to me. That that was treated that way.
It's just weird, right? I mean, yeah, that's because people were saying we watched him literally set with his blowtorch on fire. And I'm all about due diligence and due process.
I'm all about those things. But when you see someone use their blowtorch to set it on fire, you're not just in possession of a blowtorch. You're you're literally using it to set fires.
It's arson. So I don't know, this is all it's, I mean, it's just, I don't know, the way in which they're still running things out there. I worry for the people who are going to have to rebuild, how long that's going to take to get that done. How long it's going to take for that to happen. Because you have to think of the insurance nightmare that's out there too. That's a huge nightmare. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lashes absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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