Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man.
Alright, so first up, oh gosh, why does it have to be this cat? A 74 year old man was arrested for being a dirty pervert and doing dirty pervert stuff at a beach. Yeah. Oh, and he looks like a dirty pervert who did dirty pervert stuff at the beach would look like. Oh, it was in Naples, Florida. 74 year old man was arrested on Monday because he was exposing himself and he was walking around in his birthday suit on a Southwest Florida beach. Naples responded to a call about a man, this is so gross.
I don't know why I'm doing bunny hands, but I do that whenever I'm very uncomfortable. He, police responded to a call about a man who was exposing himself and walking around nude on the shoreline of the Naples beach. And then when they arrive, they discover the old dirty pervert, Richard Mansfield lying naked in a beach chair, full view, everybody at the beach. So apparently beach patrol had already asked him to cover himself up before police arrived, which apparently he didn't. So he was taken into custody and charged with indecent exposure.
Why do people do this? I don't know. Oh, by the way, there's more cocaine.
You know, this just happens all the time. Now this time, it's over a half a million dollars just found floating in Florida. A package containing about $625,000 worth of cocaine was discovered floating in the Gulf of Mexico near Everglades City in Florida. Boaters noticed an unusual package in the mangroves off a panther key. And it was about the size of a microwave oven. It contained 56 pounds of cocaine divided into 25 individually wrapped kilograms. And the barnacle covered package suggested it had been adrift for a significant amount of time according to Collier County Sheriff's Office.
The new sheriff, whose name was Schmunter Haydn, picked up the package. I'm kidding. That part's not real.
That would have been funny, though. Collier County Sheriff Kevin Rambosk thanked the citizens who got the package, etc. I honestly would not be surprised, though, if a guy named Schmunter Haydn decided to pop up in Florida and like, oh, I hear there's a lot of cocaine found down here floating in the water. So they got the cocaine in Collier County Sheriff's Office. They're investigating its origin.
They think it probably drifted east coast due to recent storms. And they keep finding all kinds of packages like this. Like apparently, I mean, it's like every month there's like some cocaine floating in the water.
So who's getting beaten by the cartels? Because that's like a lot of cocaine to lose, isn't it? Like that keeps happening. I think you have like a delivery problem. But it's not like you can complain like Uber Eats or DoorDash style, right? Like how do you like to call and complain about my cocaine delivery?
Doesn't really work like that. Let's see. This is Oh, wow, this woman is crazy. A Florida woman was arrested after a five hour stakeout at an animal clinic. She was pursuing a fellow animal clinic worker. She had developed romantical feelings for this animal hospital worker treating her sick cat, and how she's facing aggravated stalking charges for harassing the worker outside of the Parkland Animal Clinic. Broward County had to be dispatched and they took her in.
She's this crazy woman from Fort Lauderdale. She's apparently she sat for over five hours outside of the workplace at the animal clinic. And oh, and she's apparently has had some run ins with the law previously. And so deputies arrived. They had to take her into custody. They had to draw down on her because apparently she was also in a legal possession because I don't think she's a legal possessor. She was detained and placed in a patrol vehicle without incident. Yeah, that's kind of crazy.
She had been sitting outside of the workplace for five hours and 40 minutes. Oh my god. Good night. Every breath you take. That's crazy. At an animal clinic.
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That's K-E-L-T-E-C weapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you. I'm so glad to spend so much money in taxes through the hey, if they cut two trillion, can our taxes go down? Can they? I would like that they're hiring people over at their department over at Doge. But they're not paying them.
They said it's not it's a non paying job, which I love. That's yes. So some of the stuff that I've been talking about is the some of the stuff according to Ray and Paul posed with his Festivus grievances about big spending with the most sullen look on his face ever. Department of Defense and Lorraine was freaking out over this because her husband worked in the military and was saying that their computer systems were always like behind the current systems. They spent $200,000 on espresso espresso machines from Starbucks.
I don't, I don't even know. That's crazy. $200,000. The Vera Institute of Justice got $168 million to help illegal immigrants avoid deportation. Oh, they've gotten over a billion dollars since 2008.
That group. So we have been paying over a billion dollars in taxpayer money, our money, you work your butt off, and you're paying money that the government is giving you. They're giving to this group, the Vera Institute of Justice, that has been helping paying for illegal immigrants to skirt deportation.
We went to war for less than this during the days of the revolution, I just want to say. They also our government is obsessed with injecting animals with stuff. So they literally spent $3 million in grants to inject monsters with steroids and then get them to fight. You know, they wanted to see if about they wanted to study steroid induced aggression. I don't even need steroids.
Come and study my aggression. They spent 2.3 million. Oh, is this one of Fauci's to inject Beagle puppies with cocaine?
Is that a Fauci study? 1.1 million to get mice drunk. I mean, if you give me a mouse, I'll get it drunk.
I mean, forget giving the mouse a cookie if you give a mouse a beer. You know, they Oh, they also studied by the way. They also spent $689,000 to study parrot romance. It's a real thing. Romance between parrots.
Yes, they did. Then they also spent $187,000 to just confirm that the relationship between kids and their pets is a beneficial one. This is the dumbest stuff I've ever heard of. And this is like what?
Oh, my gosh. I mean, this is crazy. It's crazy. And they found all kinds of ways to spend money all kinds of ways. I mean, we spent money on the some of the dumbest stuff. I mean, I'm looking down the list.
Some of it's just it's just completely unnecessary. Why? Oh, and then remember how we had the COVID money? Right? Our taxpayer dollars the COVID money?
You're gonna get really mad. We spent $31.5 million of COVID funds to buy luxury cars. Yeah. Uh huh. That's right.
We spent $1.7 billion to maintain empty federal buildings. $475 billion was just to paint interest on the national debt. Yeah. So, uh, this is this is horrible. This is where our money's going. Yeah.
Not so great with other people's money. No, it's not really. He it's this is bad. It's all bad.
So Rand Paul has the list up. I think he tweeted it too. Is it you still say tweet even though it's x, which is Yeah, I always get confused. Like I was trying to fight. I started to stop myself and I'm like, okay. But this is just it is crazy. It is. It's just crazy. It's a crazy list. I mean, I'm like still I'm scrolling by the way, still scrolling.
I had to adjust to just make everything smaller so I could like scroll through fat. There's so much in here. But yeah, the hamster fight club. $3 million to watch hamsters fight on steroids. By the way, there's the Tyson and Paul fight coming up. Is the undercard the hamster fight? I'm just curious.
And in this corner, hamster McCamster face. Just curious. And then I love that they tried to put they tried to when he tweeted that out. They were trying to put a community note on it. And they're like, No, they were studying steroid aggression. No joke.
That's why we're complaining. You moron. Thank you for confirming. Thank you.
Hamster fight club. I mean, this is just it's, it's shameful. It's absolutely shameful.
So hopefully, I don't know, maybe. Maybe we can cut some of it. The $15 million that they use for us martial security detail for Fauci. He got that much money, that much money and security. It's just just unbelievable. So I don't know if we can cut some of the $15 million that they use for us martial security detail for Fauci.
I don't know. We'll see how all this goes. But we if they can cut that if they can start cutting some of that stuff, I will be supremely happy.
And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. So an influencer, which I hate, I hate that whole got charged with a DUI is fighting to get back her pet her pet monkey who was found sick and malnourished because she is a horrible person. This brandy Botello. She's 30 years old. She's a three year old spider monkey. And she got into a single car crash in Dallas. And she's was got a DUI. But she said that it wasn't her fault somehow. But her monkey, she had this monkey that was like taken from her.
And it she posts photos of him and outfits and that she doesn't have permits to keep him whatever. But the thing that monkey had fractured bones, and it weighed half of what the monkey is supposed to weigh. And the monkey also had rickets. So it was not she was not feeding or taking care of this monkey at all whatsoever. I mean, we saw chimp crazy this chick looks like that. Take that damn thing away from her because she wasn't taking care of it.
I mean, if it has broken bones and rickets, and it's half its body weight of a monkey that's supposed to be that size. Take that bees monkey away and doing this. So that's horrible.
Let's see here. They're trying to say that cannabis is causing a an alarming rise in cancer, birth defects and accelerated aging. Cannabis. I don't understand that how they don't actually say they're like, Oh, there's all kinds of but the VAX was okay. The government injection was totally safe, guys. And cigarettes are mostly okay. Yeah, that's how that goes. They said, Oh, no, like all kinds of bad stuff. Male copulatory organ cancer, you could get it birth defects, missing limbs, everything, chromosomal disorders, everything from a plant from seed from cannabis.
I'm not a pot person, but some of the arguments are just dumb. Oh my gosh, so they pulled these wicked dolls from store shelves because of a really embarrassing error, according to Daily Mail and others fun for hundreds of dollars on eBay, the alpha and Glinda characters. They accidentally came with an adult website link on the packages.
So I don't know how that happened, but they had to take them off the shelves. Stick with us. Now that being said, I want to switch gears here. Let's just throw a bomb in it, shall we? Is your dog racist? Is your dog racist? This is where Britain's going. You think that they got some problems with like immigration issues and some crime lately, right?
Britain. But now, what they're very concerned about Kane is whether or not your dog is racist. And of course, they're very, very, very left leaning whales. They're trying to make the outdoors more inclusive. And they said that their their experts are telling people how to handle awkward incidents because their dogs might be racist.
Yeah. And they, the experts are trying to defend the dogs and put it all on the owners by saying, well, there's a misconception that dogs can display racial prejudice, they react because of lack of experience. And of course, that lack of experience is brought to them came by their owner. And they're actually saying that you're being mean to your dog. If you live in an area that is predominantly one race over the other, and your dog is not used. I am not even making this up.
This is where the former a former great empire is now. Labour run whales was told to ban dogs from part of the outdoors to help make the outdoors anti racist. They're actually pushing this in their Welsh government.
I am not making this up. It is a real thing that they're pushing. And Labour is, of course, they're socialists.
They're far super far left. So they said that the story goes that according to a report funded by the Welsh government to help steer its anti racist policy, dog free zones, dog free zone should be set up to make the outdoor areas more inclusive. Because dogs are racist.
Why do you hate dogs, man? It is a taxpayer funded report. British people paid for this.
They paid for it. And one Tory leader, which is their version of conservative, they're not really over there says that it was nonsense. And they said that the Welsh government has concluded that ethnic minorities face barriers to the outdoors created by racism. A taxpayer funded report says that minorities feel like they can't enjoy the outdoors because of racism.
I don't even know. And they said that they did focus groups. And they said that one female who is black, said that she feels unsafe with the presence of dogs.
And I guess that I don't know. So they they're actually banning they're they're actually trying to get dogs banned from the countryside in Wales. Because of this. Like you can't take your dog, you wouldn't be able to take your dog to the park.
Because it's racist. I cannot even believe that that's what they think that their biggest problem is. And they had to spend taxpayer dollars on this. That's insane. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
