Absurd Truth: Trump Sells Out MSG

It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. That's right. This is Craig Collins filling in on the Danish show Time for Florida Man. I'm actually now technically a Florida man. We have just relocated to Florida, so I will be living in this place where I'm going to see a lot of this awesome stuff, I assume. Two quick ones. First, a Florida man threatens stormwater maintenance workers with a machete for blocking the road.

This is from WFLA in Florida. Not a good move, usually, to go full machete and to yell at people for certain things. It's probably not going to work out for you. I don't know where you have the machete to, how you store it, what decisions you make to make sure it's by your side throughout the totality of your day, just in case you need to threaten somebody. No one was hurt, luckily, and the guy is in trouble. For, well, a lot of things.

I don't think that also makes people work faster. We've had several versions of that story recently out of Florida where people are noticing, say, and granted, there's been so many difficult things with all the hurricanes recently and all the digging out and then having to get hit again. Luckily, even though Milton was bad, none of it feels anywhere near as bad as Ian does to people I talk to in the area.

So truthfully, it's still not good, but it's nowhere near as bad as it's been in the past. So there's some weird silver lining in that. But maybe it's just people being so angry. I am now defending Florida man. I got here and immediately my mentality is to try to defend them. I guess I should leave it be.

But maybe that mentality, the frustration is overboard. And the guy also has a machete. The other story, a man faces over 500 charges for allegedly dealing stolen items. He violated pawnbroker laws.

He does not have any TV show, any pawnbroking thing out there in order to do this with. But CBS News reported on this one. That's not going to go well. That's a lot of charges. You're going to struggle just a bit in court to go through all of them. I wonder how you even go through that. Do you read them all off one at a time? And then when he's eventually either convicted or found innocent, do you again go through them one at a time? Does the jury get asked for 500 different questions? I'm not sure. I don't really want to know.

I imagine he's just going to plead guilty because why not? This makes no sense. But you got to you got to have some licenses and stuff in order to open a pawnbroking shop. You can't just tell people to drop stuff off at your house or a place that you're renting and then sell it to other people.

That's not how it works. Even a Facebook marketplace makes you think that. Oh, by the way, real quick, side note, caveat, selling things on Facebook marketplace is horrific.

It's the worst experience in the world. As someone who recently moved and did some of that with some of our stuff that we were getting rid of, so many people click the button. Is this available? And then never talk to you again. I don't know what version of the world that would be like if we had to deal with this in real life. But I think anyone who does something stupid on the Internet should be subject to that exact behavior in their real life to see if they like it. Because what I'd love to do is find every one of the people that asked me if the things I was selling was still available and for a day hound them with is this still available?

Is this still available? And then not answer any other questions and not talk to them at all. It is the most annoying.

I don't know who else has done it recently. Facebook, get rid of that feature. Do not allow people to click a button asking if something is available. Just assume that anyone selling stuff on your Web site has it available. And if it's not available, they'll go ahead and take it down off of your Web site.

Just do that for me, please. And if they don't do that, then when someone else asks a different question other than is this available? Guess what?

They still wind up with the same answer. I'm sorry. It's not available.

That's fine. We can live in that world. It's so annoying.

I couldn't get over how terrible it was. There were moments where I just wanted to leave stuff just on the side of the street because it'd be better than having a stranger pay me some amount of money for it because of how annoying it was. But that's real. And I don't know how that works in Florida compared to other places like Illinois that I was living in.

But I assume this is a thing that happens all over the place. I was tempted to do one more story in the Florida man segment. That is not a Florida man story, but I'll hold it.

I'll save it for you till later. But there was a Hot Pocket attack. This happened in Boston, not in Florida.

I feel like this is appropriate to happen in places all throughout where I now am. So maybe we'll see it in the near future. Maybe it's not news because it happens every day. But essentially, a guy was attacked with a Hot Pocket and it was reported on beautifully by Boston News.

So we'll get to that later today. Not here. Our friends over at Kel-Tec, the P-15. If you haven't gotten a Kel-Tec, if you haven't gotten the P-15, you really need to. It is the lightest, thinnest, literally the lightest, thinnest double stack nine millimeter on the market. Nothing is lighter or thinner than this thing. And it is nine, like I said, double stack magazine, you don't lose the stopping power.

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It's the P-15. Tell them that Dana sent you. All right, let's move on to this. John Carl, ABC News, surprised at how well Trump did in Madison Square Garden. I was there for about six hours yesterday. First thing I've got to say, Madison Square Garden was packed.

People waited hours to get in. They sat through hour after hour of this rally. They were fervent in their devotion to all things Trump. Trump has created a movement. There is no doubt. I cannot think of another Republican figure of my lifetime who could have come into a Democratic city like New York and put together anything like that.

Anything at all like what Trump did. Absolutely. I think a lot of us agree with him that the ability to do that and honestly, just to demonstrate that he could, because it doesn't really feel like he's actually trying to fight to win New York.

I don't think people would make that argument. But to have a sellout crowd, they sang God Bless America at one point, which is, as somebody who was born in New Jersey, somebody who certainly remembers specific times that we all remember in our country, in our world, and how much America came together. After 9-11, support for New York and support for America as a whole was incredible. And honestly, I'm also a Yankee fan.

That hasn't been going so well the last couple of days, although Game 3 is tonight and hopefully things go better this evening for the Yankees. But I vividly remember after 9-11, watching on TV, wasn't able to go to the game myself, and seeing the way in which America kind of surrounded themselves, even in the Yankees, even in a World Series and things going on at that time, and the support for the city itself and the firefighters and police officers, first responders. Because we pictured that community being like any other community in our country, anyone else in the world, dealing with what they were dealing with and struggling the way they did. And so God bless America sang at Yankee games now because of that, because of 9-11. And so it's just sort of surreal to see the people of New York, at least the people who showed up in Madison Square Garden, creating that same environment of, you know, patriotism that exists only in certain moments for a lot of our society, very much to the detriment, I would say, of our society as a whole.

All right. Another thing I want to play, because even though you could take that version of a conversation or that version of a path on describing what Madison Square Garden with Trump at the forefront of it was, you can also say this stuff if you're AOC. This was not, this was a hate rally. This was not just a presidential rally. This was also not just a campaign rally. I think it's very important for people to understand that these are many January 6 rallies. These are many stop the steal rallies. These are rallies to prime an electorate into rejecting the results of an election if it doesn't go the way that they want. Because Donald Trump and that entire cadre of people up on that stage, Stephen Miller, etc., do not respect the law of the United States of America. They don't respect it.

They don't respect us. She is so mad that this successfully happened so close to her turf in New York City. She's so upset about that.

You can tell in the way in which she talks about it. And Democrats are calling it a hate rally. Democrats are saying that Trump, you know, went to extremes in order to discuss his positions on things. Now, I'll tell you one just honest truth for anyone that's never been to New York City or lived in New York City or understand it at all. The collection of people there is massive, as you can probably guess, and people's opinions are all over the place. But you watch something like a Saturday Night Live, for example, and especially early on, they're making jokes about Joe Biden and the crowd goes silent.

There's a lot of New York that winds up showing itself in a certain way in these moments. And then you have a Trump rally with that amount of people responding to the things he's saying. Yes, he did say that if a migrant, I think was the word he chose, killed a cop, that he would push for the death penalty as a punishment for someone who took the life of a police officer. Now, granted, that's the moment that's getting played all over media by the left to try to claim that this was a hate rally and that was the entirety of the discussion, which it was not. But more importantly, and this is the only way I can say this and I can play the audio again, but I'm not even going to play it.

That's what he said. There was a time in our society, again, around 9-11, where support for cops and firefighters was so through the roof and honestly, for years and years, for decades before that, that if a cop was hurt in the line of duty, it was the kind of thing that a community rallied around. And the community wanted the person to be held responsible. They wanted the punishment to fit the crime, whatever, you know, narrative that takes for you in your own life.

And so it's sort of surreal to think that the things that Trump is saying are shaped the way they're shaped by media because they intentionally misrepresent the the core of the idea and they sort of love to dabble in what is a changed society for some people. I don't know if the death penalty is the right decision or not. I'm like part of me says certain things in my brain as far as my religion goes, no matter what the crime was, the pope infamous or famously forgave someone, a former pope for shooting him, Pope John Paul.

So there's something about that. But nonetheless, regardless of if that's the line for you or not or however you you go through that part of the discussion, a significant punishment, a tremendously negative punishment for someone who kills a cop in our country that's not here legally shouldn't be as as controversial of a statement as it is. But it's because they want to paint that as, well, now they hate anyone from another country. That's not true. If you are completely fine with legal immigration, you're completely fine with this, that and all these other things that exist in our world. And you only have a problem with someone who's a criminal who hurts a cop as like the the reason to get the punishment to be what it is. Why would that it's sort of a here. I know I'm not getting my point out.

Well, let me try one more time because I want to make sure this is crystal clear. It'd be like being in the middle of an argument and someone just deciding that anything you're saying, any of the topic of discussion is irrelevant and like kicking you in the face. I love that version of a thing. And then only wanting to talk about how mad you are that you got kicked in the face, not not even taking blame themselves. Like, yeah, in the face. But so what? Look at how mad you are.

Look at how mean of a person you are just because somebody kicked you in the face that one time. That's what this is. That's what this discussion is, is, is the point matters but needs to be forgotten.

So the emotion has to take control and the emotion has to then be blamed on things that have nothing to do with what you're talking about in the first place. I hope that made more sense. I hope we got there.

And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. That's right. We're cruising along.

We're doing great. Does masculinity shorten your life span? A study suggests manly men are at higher risk of heart problems.

This feels somewhat as if it was intentionally put out there into the world, although study finds that org is not necessarily a place that I think has a political sway agenda. It depends on what you define as toxic masculinity, which is just a crap term that's used so often in the world. But researchers from the University of Chicago say there was a pattern that begins in adolescence and continues through adulthood, which potentially puts certain men at greater risk of heart issues. These are men who are more prone to certain types of I love how this is described male behavior like risk taking and whatnot or adrenaline junkies, high blood pressure and diabetes are also issues they see more with men.

But you know what's so funny about this? The thing that's missing and I think a byproduct of the toxic masculinity conversation is people are in like good shape, people who work out, people who behave like the kind of individuals that would fight to protect you or fight to protect this country. The alpha men, they're not in this list. They're not part of the toxic masculinity group that's suffering with health issues because, oh, yeah, by being that health conscious, you actually are doing quite well for a lot of your life. They're more talking about the people who have certain mental versions of approaching life that might not actually match their physical ability. People like me, I guess, who jump off of peers in high school and college into freezing cold water that you shouldn't do. Guys like friends of mine who jumped off of roofs of houses into pools, just the stupid things that you do.

But that's not a totality or not a full description of, I think, toxic masculinity. So it's kind of amusing that in order to get to this point in this study, they left out a lot of the people who probably are not struggling with any of this. More of quick five stuff. Google is developing A.I. that can take over your computer. Information is reporting on this.

Finance, Yahoo, I think, ran the story, too. Essentially, the Google A.I. would realize that your computer needs to not be run by you anymore and then just do their own thing. It's called Project Jarvis, which is a reference to Marvel stuff.

And Jarvis, who eventually in one of those Marvel movies became his own sentient being. And that would be just crazy. And it seems to be the path we're barreling toward for whatever reason. Healthier Americans are paying millions to age in luxury campuses is another viral story.

This was from The Wall Street Journal. This is not something I would blame anyone for spending money on personally. But if you have the cash and you don't want to, you know, grow old in your house that you've been in a long time, no matter what, darn it, nostalgia feelings you have about it. But you'd much rather age somewhere fancy with the professionals around you that can help you while more and more Americans are choosing to go this road. This might be I know this is supposed to be a quick five and a lighter set of topics, but it might also be a reflection of the difference in family today and in years in the past. Maybe more people are less connected to their family.

And for that reason, they don't feel they could be taken care of by being at home with loved ones. I don't know if that's true, but it feels like it could be a byproduct of choosing to spend a ton of money to live somewhere that's awesome, which I again would probably do myself as opposed to living somewhere that has, say, you know, less of the cool things that you would have living in some of these fancy complexes. And then one other thing I thought this was interesting, a viral story about a super rat that was spotted on a Spirit Airlines flight inside a light fixture. The super rat may have actually been a raccoon and not a rat at all, but it was giant.

And it was very happy to be living inside a Spirit flight. I don't know if there's any sort of extra charge to remove the rat from your seat or the area near you, the light fixture near you in spirit. I feel like they would charge for that. Maybe the whole plan would get together completely and do it. But I just love how viral this story went and how crazy this thing looks. It's either a very small raccoon or a very giant rat. Neither scenario is very good to have with you on an airline to have with you on a flight.

I feel like Samuel L. Jackson might star in the next version of this next movie. But nonetheless, what I really love about it is the fact that as they're looking at this, it was Spirit, because most people would not have been surprised. If you had to guess the airline and I told you the story without the airline, I think people's first guest, unfortunately, would have been Spirit Airlines because, well, OK, I don't have to explain that any further. Hope they're not a sponsor. This is The Dana Show. My name is Craig Collins filling in.

Thrilled to be with you. A bunch of stuff is always to talk about, although actually I just found out producer Steven was at a heck of a football game yesterday, a game that actually beat the crap out of the Chicago Bears. Here, I'll play the audio real quick.

I do want to do this first before we get to anything else. This town is going crazy. Yes. And you were there going crazy, Steven.

Is that right? I was. I was with the Bears fan, so he wasn't excited to see it happen. But it was OK. It was a great Bears fan. It was a great moment.

Well, what happened for you like after? Did your phone get blown up with people asking you how you could be at the game? Were you one of the people that holds up your cell phone and you're taping it or are you actually doing the good thing and watching it like a human being in an event that doesn't need a record of it yourself? I watched it happen. And then about 30 seconds later, I pulled my phone out to get there because they were they were still hollering and cheering for a while. So, oh, yeah, I got like 30 seconds of it at the end. And then as soon as I got cell service, walk into the train and my phone blew up and our fantasy group chat was going nuts because we had a lot of Commander's fans around here.

Sure. So not only does fantasy football probably get impacted by that, a lot of other things get impacted by that. I've only been to one, you know, marquee sports moment in my life.

I've seen a lot of games, but not not ones that are terribly significant. I was in the student section and people might not know about this for the Bush push when Notre Dame lost to USC, when USC was ranked number one with the very last play of a football game because Reggie Bush shoved Matt Leinart into an end zone. And I was on the field as some students where I was not a Notre Dame student.

I was a Holy Cross student. You were allowed to have tickets and go to the game like cheering, thinking we won. And then one more play gets run. They make all the students get into the tunnel and you watch horrifically the other side of the end zone as the team loses.

And then you walk out very sad. That was a national story. And I was there. There's something cool about being at those. You now get to be at one that's a national story, too.

Is there anything you take away from it yourself, that experience? I don't know. This team hasn't been good in this town for a while, like a long time. And it's nice to see like there's some culture and people are so excited. It's cool to see. Yes.

Yeah. They probably won't have a lot of Hail Mary wins, to be honest. And the Bears, who are known for their defense, probably don't feel so good today after the way that you lose that game. I was amazed at how opened he was at the end of that play, though, you know, in all honesty, like to have that one player for the commanders just standing in the end zone behind the ruckus where the ball is falling to be able to catch that pass like that. Like that almost never happens where it's just one dude by himself being like, I don't know if the ball bounces a certain way, maybe I'll get it. Yeah, I mean, the guy that tipped it into the Nova Brown's hands was like chirping the fans on the sidelines and he didn't even know the ball was snapped. Right. Yeah, it's crazy. All right.

Well, thank you, man. After you told me that you were there and I know that was a big story and a lot of people were paying attention to it. And actually, if I'm going to take a slight break from serious topics, yes, we're just a few days away from the election and everyone is talking about or at least should be talking about poll numbers. Everything is demonstrating that the election is at the forefront of our minds, but it really is only a very simple topic. Who do you think is better suited to run the country for the next four years?

Kamala Harris, someone who couldn't even run a presidential campaign to gain a nomination or someone who's been in that role before after everything has gone so so poorly. I can oversimplify that because I kind of want to talk about one other sports thing. The Dwayne Wade statue has been viral. It's made the rounds all over the Internet. Dwayne Wade was standing there in front of the statue the other day talking about how he couldn't believe, you know, that he had a statue. He actually seemed like genuinely moved by it.

And I think at one point, Dwayne Wade said, like, who is that guy? But sadly, that was actually the question for a lot of people watching. And I saw that I think some people on some of the broadcast sports stations claimed that it looks better in person than any of the photos make it look. But it looks horrendous. It's not. If you Google it right now and check it out, the face of the Dwayne Wade statue, which is an iconic moment in his own basketball career, unfortunately, also against Chicago sports team.

So apparently today, a lot of the marquee sports stories involve teams from Chicago losing and stuff. But that is what it is. But what I think is so interesting about it, he just looks like an old guy. Part of it looks like it's supposed to be much more beard than the sort of stubbly look that Dwayne Wade has. And then the face, the eyes, the nose, everything, the way that he crumples his face. And I guess it's supposed to look as though he's in that moment where he's saying not in this house or I think this is our house.

I can't remember exactly what the phrase is, but as Dwayne Wade is pointing the ground and saying like, you know, we just won this game. They made him look old, not someone who's in moments of of joy. Like everything about his face doesn't look like someone who's squinting or squishing his face because he's happy. It looks like Father Time has wreaked havoc on him. He looked younger saying thank you for his statue than he looks behind him, like, you know, looking at the statue.

And I wonder how much of a gut that is. And Dwayne Wade won't say it. But if any of us are ever to have a statue, which very few of us ever will get in our lifetimes, we want it to be the epitome of when we looked our best. I would think I think you'd want to look at it and be like, that was me as a young man.

You know, I would bring my wife to the statue, essentially pointed it and say, look, honey, that's the man you married back when he was in his prime. And that's not what Dwayne Wade got. Dwayne Wade got a very different experience version of that. And for some reason, I found that both amusing and sad. I feel bad for the man. He doesn't seem to feel bad for himself. The Internet absolutely agrees. It looks nothing like it. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.