Absurd Truth: I'm Lovin' It

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. All right, so new news about the Lieutenant Dan, the dude who rode out the Hurricane Milton on his boat in Florida. He was apparently, and this is new, he was apparently arrested in Tampa. Oh my goodness, Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office. The guy known as Lieutenant Dan, aka Joseph Malinowski, was arrested after his TikTok post because he, for trespassing failure to appear on previous charges of having an unregistered vehicle and no valid driver's license. They said he rejected police from officials when he was staying in his boat.

So he apparently does not have an attorney who can speak on his behalf. So he is in the pokey. Well, oh boy.

You know, this can all be hits, right? Let's see this. Oh, no, here, I want to grab this one.

Please, please, please, please, please. This is a Florida man. Hold up. It was in Daytona Beach, Melvin Weaver, 64 Florida man who faces charges of aggravated battery and arson. The article says that he was arrested last week after police say he burned down his house screaming about vampires.

All right. Yeah, they he he so apparently, it started when his wife wanted to have him committed. They wanted a Baker Act team. And when police arrived at two, they said, police determined he could not be involuntarily committed under the Baker Act, but by seven he grew angry, began hitting his wife breaking open windows with his cane. And he said the vampires are going to defend themselves, he shouted according to the arrest report. Then he set fire to the home by throwing ceiling insulation insulation onto the stove. The wife escaped, he grabbed a kitchen knife began knocking on neighbors doors saying that his house was on fire and his wife was inside.

He was arrested at the scene. He's sick and he takes pain medication, but the house is completely destroyed in the fire. Nothing, no, no word on the vampires, though.

I would imagine wouldn't they perish in the fire? I mean, is that sun? Is it 2pm? 1pm? So maybe the dwelling burned down and then they were exposed to the sun and then they vanished. I don't know.

Like why does I mean, clearly he's like mental. I don't know. This Florida woman used her child to help steal a barista machine and a vacuum cleaner from Target. It ended up coming to $1,111. And she was able to convince 23 year old Elizabeth Novak she was able to convince a child under the age of 10 to carry it out of the store. Got a little kid to do her grand theft.

You're kidding me. So yeah, she is totally in jail. And not only does she get charged with grand theft, but one count of contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

That's not a shocking goodness. $5,000 hit gone wrong. I that seems can I just say I don't believe in like, taking out contracts on people but $5,000 does seem low. A Florida man hired an undercover agent as a hit man for $5,000.

And apparently it did not go that way. 58 year old Macrum Cashman of Boynton Beach admitted to meeting with an undercover agent. He wanted $5,000 to kill the victim. Somebody offered and the plot was foiled, the victim wasn't harmed and this Cashman dude was arrested now faces up to a decade in prison. He is sentenced.

He'll be sentenced in January. So good heavens. That's not the way to do it. Really not the no.

Hi, I'm Lillian, an English major at Hillsdale College. Here's Hillsdale President Dr. Larry Arnn with a Constitution Minute. America's founders believed in the separation of church and state, and that the country was not to have an official religion or an official sect. But that did not mean that government was to be hostile to religion, or even indifferent to religion, as many today argue. In fact, America's founding document, the Declaration of Independence, includes both a reference to God as the author of the laws of nature, and a confident assertion that human beings are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights. Far from being hostile or indifferent to religion, America's founders understood the theology of the Declaration to be an essential part of the education of citizens. To learn more and get a free pocket Constitution, visit Constitutionminute.com. This Constitution Minute was furnished by Hillsdale College.

The Tale of Two Campaign. So, McDonald's, I thought the way McDonald's handled this was super classy. I know. They released a statement. This was yesterday.

And this was actually pretty amazing. I don't know who whoever decided to write this for McDonald's needs a raise. They wrote, quote, earlier today, they wrote, quote, earlier today, former President Trump visited a McDonald's restaurant in Pennsylvania, following a request made to our local franchisee. As we've seen, our brand has been a fixture of conversation in this election cycle. While we've not sought this, it's a testament to how much McDonald's resonates with so many Americans. This is brilliant.

I'm going to read this whole because it's actually genius. So buckle up. So they said they go McDonald's does not endorse candidates for elected office. And that remains true in this race for the next president. We are not red or blue.

We are golden. Though we are not a political brand. We've been proud to hear former President Trump's love for McDonald's and Vice President Harris's fond memories of working under the arches wink wink.

While we and our franchisees don't have records for all positions dating back to the early 80s. What makes one in eight so powerful is the shared experiences so many Americans have had. They said that when owner operator Derek G. Geo Comantonio was approached by local law enforcement about the president's desire to visit a Pennsylvania restaurant. He was proud to highlight how he and his team serve their local community make delicious food. And they said learning of his work, including the fries, they said learning of his request, they approached it through the lens of one of our core values.

We open our doors to everyone. And they said it's with that same approach that franchisees have invited Vice President Harrison Wolf to their, you know, their restaurant. And they said that they want to provide, you know, meaningful pathways, blah, blah, blah. And they said that they said that their strength comes down to their people that it's been harder and effort. They said thank you for everything you do for our brand serving our customers talking to their people and communities with great pride for upholding our core values and opening our doors to all that is valedictorian in marketing. That is amazing. Because it's I mean, they didn't.

I think it's kind of because the one in eight is apparently one in eight US citizens have worked at McDonald's at some point. And so the fact that they kind of like piggybacked off of that, and made that like a whole thing is actually quite brilliant. It's refreshing to see a company make a smart move in terms of PR, isn't it?

Wow, Kane, I'd forgotten what that looked like. I know, I mean, I don't even know what to say. I when I fully when I first saw their statement, I'm like, Oh, my gosh, I'm gonna read them. And I opened it because I just someone had just like reposted something from McDonald's. So the first time I saw it, I didn't there was no context with it. And then the later tweet that I saw, they had contacts with him.

But I opened the first one, and I made the image bigger from X. And I was not expecting that honestly, I wasn't expecting them to just jump on their franchisees. But I was expecting them to go, Oh, we had nothing to do with that, blah, blah, blah, blah. They didn't say any of that. I mean, and they said they they also said they invited Harrison Waltz. Y'all know that they are not going to go and do this. You know this, you know, they're not gonna go to McDonald's and do a fry experiment.

Kane, is she gonna show up? If you see that crowd that lined up, outside of that McDonald's, I mean, down, I mean, blocks and blocks around the place. There's no way that they'd be able to turn out that many bodies. So that's what I like how Trump was like, Hey, let's give him extra salt. Someone was over the moon because he ordered a six piece nug. And he got seven nugs. Seven of them little tendies. He got seven out of a six piece. And so he's like, Trump gave me seven piece nug.

And I ordered six. He's like, Yes, it was hysterical. But it's so funny. I mean, people talked about this all day yesterday.

My kids were sending me this stuff. It's funny. And he's like, got the apron on. He's waving. You know, he's like doing the fries. And I can you imagine like, the dude, who's teaching him to do this?

Like, imagine you're that dude, and you're teaching the former president, maybe next president of the United States salt fries, audio, somebody 15. Check it. Get that timer.

Bring that one up. I'm gonna take care of these. Okay. Right there. Right. Put that right for right.

Hang it right up there. Yeah. You want to do the solid over here? Yeah, I did these ones already.

They're good. You've got to do that one right there. So grab that and get back to yourself. Good.

Oh, yeah. Put that right here. Put it in here. Just give them a swirl that way. Get that salt.

Okay, where's the little thing? I love it. That's hysterical.

By the way, that dude is like so chill. Teaching the former president. I love it because there's no shame in work. There's no shame and honest work.

None. And I you know, he's just, it was just funny. I mean, it looks like there was a picture of him that I retweeted because I said it looks like a Renaissance painting. It really does.

Where he's leaning out of the drive thru window waving. It looks like something Norman Rockwell would have put up. Like he would have painted.

Norman Rockwell would have painted it. And they're not saying that because you guys know I don't fawn over political candidates. But it was just such a a collision of perfect variables. That I don't know. I don't know how else to put it. He's kind of like the Jeremy Clarkson of politics. Isn't he? Yeah, very much.

They're very similar in that way. But it was it is I mean, in this dude's like teaching him how to do this and the president and he was like very, you know, interested watching. And I love the people who came up because obviously, you know, I would say that they're probably first generation Americans. They're probably first generation Americans. And they come up and they're like, Oh, you know, Mr. President, and there's a new president, the United States is talking to him for president talking to the driver. I mean, that's I can't think of anything else that is like so America than that.

Right? It's so ridiculous. I mean, it's so American.

This is one showing you on the simulcast. What it the the picture I'm talking about. I mean, it looks like it can I just be it looks like it's fake. But it's not like who got that photo? Was that I don't know if it was an AP photo or was it like somebody they're getting food?

Yeah, yeah. I don't know who got it. Did he? Did he? Did he?

Did he tweeted out? It's so it's just so good. So I don't know. I mean, it's um, I just I think it's it looks like a Renaissance painting.

It looks like he's like a Norman Rockwell and Renaissance. They get together and they make this it's good. We got to I want to talk more about this because you could break this down for a poly side class this whole thing.

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That's ke lt EC weapons.com it's the P 15. Tell them that Dana sent you. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. Oh my goodness Iron Maiden now okay this is going to kickstart the threes. Paul Deano dead at 66 dead at 66 years old. He had been left wheelchair bound as he battled health issues. He's been in a wheelchair since 2020 former singer.

His family announced this just a little bit ago today. He fronted two albums Iron Maiden in 1980 killers in 81 then he was replaced by Bruce Dickinson so and he had been in a wheelchair but dang that's 66 years old. I'm getting old.

What? I'm getting old. No I mean I mean I listen to Iron Maiden all the time when I was younger. I think a lot of people will say I know it just puts it in perspective I'm getting old. Telling you what you need to have more fries right telling you oh let's see apparently gen z likes to stay home so much and it's not because of inflation it's because they hate people because they were raised by gens x that's why honestly they said that their home bodies like all of these gen z they're like a recent study found that a lot of Americans spend time at home 10 more than the same groups did you know 20 and over a year 10 20 years ago they said it's been a dramatic shift almost every part of our lives now is most like more likely to take place at home like apparently there's like a homebody generation who doesn't even do happy hour. I've never done happy hour though and I'm you know I've never done it I'm baby gen x I've never done happy hour so I don't you know they said bars are a source of social anxiety. I just don't like dealing with people no like you guys I like but you know what I mean like people you don't know hey they can small talk like my nightmare is when someone's like hey let's go eat we're gonna bring our friends that you've never met I'm like oh my gosh I gotta sit there at the table and make some I can't uh anyway they but they will do dinner parties at a home that's interesting right okay we gotta get to this casket falling out of the car uh a funeral home in Poland apologizes because a corpse a corpse just straight up fell out of a hearse and onto traffic this is horrible this actually happened it was in uh Poland and they said that uh this was a funeral home they had to apologize because of it and I'm rejecting all your stupid cookies they said that hate it's called Haiti's funeral service of course it is they were transporting the body when the technical error made it fall into the road so I can't I mean they've got extensive tunnels underneath everything uh Yasinwar was killed and uh there's a video of him he's apparently been a big uh obstacle in terms of any kind of negotiation to release the hostages you got what how many like 97 hostages still you know you got Americans that are still uh uh in cut being held by Hamas also and now you have uh Senwar who was killed there's this video where he was seen going through the tunnels underneath Gaza and Juan's preparing it for you Gaza and Juan's preparing it for you and she's like showing she's you can see his wife coming through and I'm watching a video on my screen his wife comes through the tunnels I can see this bag uh the bag looks like everyone I don't know it looks like a very expensive bag it looks like a Birkin and it is a Birkin that's a Birkin and I love these people that are like how dare you lie about this look women know stuff even if we can't afford it we know certain things this chunk is carrying a 32 000 bag through the tunnels underneath Gaza now it's an it's a it's a Hermes bag and I will never purchase a Hermes bag because it is ridiculous to buy first off I think it's I mean everyone's like oh Gazans are starving maybe you could get this chunk who could barely squeeze through these tunnels carrying a 32 000 text included bag to maybe give up some of the food off her plate for people in Gaza maybe she could sell her swanky bag and and use the profits from that to put food on the plates of people in Gaza maybe they could not steal all the food from the people in Gaza that everyone else gives them but you know that would be changing decades of behavior that they've demonstrated since their inception so this bag and that's what I mean it is a very expensive bag it is an Hermes it is a Birkin it's named after actress Jane Birkin and there's like a story behind it but anyway the whole the thing is is that it's 32 000 bag here's the other thing you can't just walk into a Hermes store and get it I have never walked into a Hermes store I know these things because I am fascinated with human behavior and the consumption that is a tell on someone's psychology there are people who do there and and if you can and you want to you do your money how you do I'm very Ayn Rand about it do whatever you can do with your money there are people I would say if you're hell-bent on purchasing one and you've got the funds to do it buy it from a dealer an independent dealer do it second hand it's like a big finger in the air and it's allowed anyway so the you can't just walk into the store and buy one of these bags the way it is is that you have to spend if that is like 32 000 you have to spend the equivalent of like 32 000 on other stuff in their store before you are invited to buy the bag I out of out of spite I would never do that if I were a caprillionaire out of spite I couldn't do it to walk into the store and be like spend that much and you have to develop a relationship with the sales people over years it is like a big thing I don't even know what all they have at Hermes I know that they have the scarves and they have like plates and stuff but and blankets I look how would you spend 32 000 on at Hermes what would you spend that much money on to secure an invitation to purchase a bag so Sinwar's wife may have walked up into her somebody had a relationship that she benefited from because you know this chunk is not going and buying it from an independent dealer second hand y'all you know she isn't come on they gotta have the brand you know this they gotta have a brand new not just new for her it has to be brand new come on I'd be shocked if that wasn't like an equally fancy scarf on like if it wasn't like specifically made by Hermes her head covering like I or her shoes or whatever else she was I mean she had to that could not be the only thing if she's going to carry that around she's got other stuff too that you're just not seeing in the video because you don't just do that not even people don't even know unless you pay attention to this stuff or you read about celebrity or you're like you're fascinated with human behavior which I am and you know this you see this stuff I had a friend explain this to me because I was telling her because her mom's like we're bougie and I was saying okay so explain do you do you like have to be invited to you develop a relationship with it you have to be she's like yeah you have to go and spend all this money and you have to get like their plates or their scarves or this or the belts or the tie something like that before you because they don't have them said sitting out you can't just they're not on shelves and so you then you're invited to buy something and then it may not even be like the whatever color you want it's whatever they they want to invite you to have and then you still pay the full price for it is that not the dumbest thing ever how does that work I guess on some people that kind of exclusion works on them right like they have to show that they're good enough and after they have to impress some damn sales associate at a retailer I don't get it what was the saying that we that people spend way too much time and way too much money impressing people that they don't like sounds like bathroom wisdom right bathroom wall wisdom but I could not get over so this is pretty insane this chick walking and then I have all there's all these apologists that are trying to say that's not yes it is I'm going to tell you what there's some fashionistas out there that can spot a Birkin from a mile away and they got it like they got her gender rights I mean she she doesn't make it difficult I mean she can barely fit through the tunnel so she has to pull her bag like and she basically holds it right up for the camera because she's so chonky she can't fit through their little tunnel but that's does that tell you everything that you need to know about Hamas the tunnels for for not for thee but for we right does it tell you everything that you need to know about Hamas now the ongoing I mean we'll I don't know what's gonna what is gonna end up happening with regards to with regard to Lebanon they've got to create I mean basically a zone now that's going to all of this could be solved if I don't know if Iran would just stop through its proxies attacking Israel they're not going to do it so they got to be able to defend themselves but man I don't want to hear another damn thing about oh my god the government's right the government is the government's right the government is the government that the Gazans elected and this is the situation that the government they elected created this is what you voted for this is what you chose and in Iran until people you know rise up and we've seen them try to do that during the green revolution I don't know how much is going to change if anything we'll talk more about that with Steven Yates here coming up but uh that's pretty amazing stuff thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast if you haven't 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