Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec.
It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Okay, few things here.
Got to touch on my heavens. So this I can't believe we got to look for Florida Man for sanity. Can I just point out how insane that is? Like, that's our we got to look to Florida Man for insanity, or for sanity. Let's see first headline that we got here for you. This is a Florida Man led law enforcement on one of the slowest chases in county history.
All right, so how did this work out? This man was it was a routine traffic stop and it went into a low speed chase. And they had to use the stop sticks.
So this dude, it started on September 25. Kyle McNary kicked up a passenger out of a black Kia Sorento at an intersection. And apparently, he's got a history of like attacking deputy sheriffs and things like that. And he stopped to switch plates with his passenger. And when he ran and then he ran into the street waving at passing cars, the passenger attempted to take the driver's seat. McNary kicked him out, sped off, left him on the roadside. And then he was involved in a hit and run for our four miles away. And it seriously injured somebody. So then he was driving very, very, very, very, very, very, very slowly on a very, very, I mean, what is he going like five miles per hour?
Is it even that? I mean, they did get him and then his SUV got stuck in a ditch. So he was taken into custody. A Florida Man was arrested for sleeping on a Walmart roof with a gun in his hand. Fort Myers, Cape Coral dude, deputies found him sleeping, you know, just regularly on the roof of a Fort Myers Walmart with a gun in his hand.
Daniel Rios 30 is facing charges of trespassing. He, somebody saw him somehow. And he's just taking a nap, got a revolver in his hand. He said he was on the roof to ride out the storm. That's some Forrest Gump stuff. Like what in the world? I went up, what was he gonna shoot at it?
Like took my revolver up there. I'm just gonna ride it out, you know. So you're not watching us or listening to us trust really.
And you can also find us on YouTube, Facebook, all that good stuff. So, uh, did Liz Cheney hit her head? I don't get this.
Can you play 12 for me? I really don't get this. This is weird. this nation.
In misery? I know that she will be a president who will defend the rule of law. And I know that she will be a president who can inspire all of our children.
And if I might say so, especially our little girls. Like, why? Well, because she's got a vagina. That's why. And that's what women like women are only inspired if it's another woman because they're real dumb.
You know, that's what I hear when I hear that kind of stuff. Does that kind of make I just don't understand why Liz Cheney would endorse Harris. I get it if you don't like a particular politician, but you're not. And you're not putting a stamp of approval on their life, or how they live or etc. You're voting to advance your interests. They're a vessel.
They're a piece on the board that you can push forward to advance your interest. You're not saying that you're gonna be best friends with them. You're not saying that you're going to petition to have them formally adopt you. You're that's not what's happening.
You're here. You're advancing your interest doesn't make any sense. Can I just make fun of Bruce Springsteen one more time because the way that he sits up the way he starts this video, and this weird endorsement is so beyond Frank, friends, fans and the press have asked me who I'm supporting in this most important of elections. See, he's every man is that go now I asked this last hour, is that a gold nugget on his finger? I don't like it unless it's like a 70s style gold nug. I'm not into like costume jewelry rings on men.
Especially when you're wearing a flannel. Like I've gotten all I've got all confusion here. Right? What is that?
I can't see like zoom in on a kinky zoom out. What is it? I don't know what it is. It's a nugget in it. Him and Daggett split nuggets and they they making rings. Is that the one ring to rule them all? Like what is that?
It's his liberal Archie starter kit. I don't know man. Scott Jennings on CNN said this in response to Springsteen. Listen, a couple things. A, I can't think of anything I care about less than some more on celebrity.
B, we got Hulk Hogan and that's all I need . No celebrity has ever made me reconsider anybody. Does it I mean, on the right or left, does it really work? I think maybe for people in the middle who don't watch anything and don't pay attention. They don't do their due diligence. I'll say it if nobody else will because you don't.
Does that actually work? Like if they're like, well, I didn't know I was gonna vote this way until I saw, you know, a celebrity come out. I think that there are some people that can be influenced one way or the other.
They're on a fence of some sort. But I think that it's a weak attempt by political parties to try and relate culturally. And I think they miss the mark quite a bit on that. You think? Yes. A lot. A lot on that. I don't know.
I don't know. I mean, I just don't think that that's a I mean, I just can't believe that actually works to convince people. If I hear someone say I didn't know where I was till Taylor Swift came out. Or I don't know where I was until J-Law came out.
Or until Bruce Springsteen. I just think you're so dumb. I don't even want to know you. I don't want to be seen around you. Because what you have a stupidity so bad.
That might be catching. I don't want any part of it. I don't like celebrities telling me even if it's somebody I agree with. I look at a celebrity going, Oh, yeah, I like who you like. And I go, Yeah, it's because you're smart like me. But that's, you know, me. I look at it like that.
But I don't ever get excited about it. I'm like, Oh, yeah, that's right. You Okay, so you have a brain. I bet I'm never like, I'm so influenced.
I feel so affirmed in my choice. I don't care. So you have to explain then how the left has been so successful using celebrity for so many years.
Because there's shape. Well, that's what I'm saying. So there are people on the left that do get influenced by that sort of thing. That was the point I was making.
In a perfect world. I feel like I would ask people that if I took over how elections ran, I'd be like, Well, did you come up with this decision on your own? Or did you come to this conclusion when you wrote a Swift concert? And then depending on what the answer was, you know, you're like, you're like the moderator and Billy Madison.
Remember that? Oh my gosh, what you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response, were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.
Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points. And may God have mercy on your soul. Amen. Amen. I feel like him.
When I hear these people, I don't know where I stand. And then I saw Bruce Springsteen. I will say at least he's not being a jack wagon about it.
And then you got Sam Elliott. Didn't see him. Hang on. Didn't see him.
Elliott, go out there. Hold up. Hold up. Hold up. Hold up.
You guys remember him? Hang on. Roadhouse. The movie that my kids say is about dudes with mullets and tight pants doing kicks in bars. They make it sound like the male Rockettes when they talk about it.
Sam Elliott. He went out and he had said, Be a man and vote for a woman. Okay, be a man and do your own stunts. I don't know. Like what? I don't want to dislike him. But when he's like, Be a man and vote for a woman. I'm like, No.
He was in the some I don't know. I Lincoln project thing ad. I think there's maybe a better way that you could state it. You know, as long as you're not a jack wagon. He near he near it was a salty ad. So because he was kind of a jack wagon about it, I feel like I have the invitation to be a little meaner.
I don't want to play it because I don't want to give it attention. But he says, I can't believe we're having this conversation again. And one stands for hate and one stands for courage. And, and then it says, so you decide and it's time to be a man and vote for a woman or you know, maybe be a man and stfu you know, maybe just mind your own damn business.
Is that what y'all like to say? To actually try to implore someone be a man and vote for a less qualified woman because she has a vagina is about one of the weakest beta things I can ever hear. I mean, I had some respect for Sam Elliott.
I it's greatly diminished. I still like him as an actor, but it's really hard when people do I don't care if someone has a preference and I don't care if they talk about their preference. But when they're stupid about it, it's very difficult for me to suspend my disbelief when I watch them in something like Samwise Gamgee, for instance, the Sean Astin guy. I can't stand this dude.
He blocked me on Twitter. I never even talked to that lunchbox a day in my life. He was the worst part of Lord of the Rings, the best character because Samwise Gamgee is the actual hero. I'll take everything back to this. I love Tolkien.
I love it. He's the real hero of the story. And you got the worst actor playing him.
I mean, everybody else had to lift him up in every role. And if it wasn't for the amazing dialogue, thank you to Tolkien. If it wasn't for the amazing dialogue, he'd have fallen on his face even faster. But anyway, he was a jerk about it.
He like when he went off on me and then he blocked me and I and I was like, you're such a jerk. I don't I just don't have the ability to suspend my disbelief when I see you now. Now when I see you in a role, even if Lord of the Rings is on TV, I just I look at you in that light again and I wish that you fall into the in the pits of Mordor. I want you to fall into the lava. I want an orc to eat you up. I want I want all those things to happen. I want Gollum to behead you.
That's what I want now. Like, you know what I mean? I can't when they're that mean, like Ron Perlman. I haven't blocked him. He follows me and he follows me just to have a fit all the damn time. Ron Perlman just has a menstrual tantrum all the time. Every at least once a week at me, he gets mad and he was in Hellboy. Now I can't watch Hellboy. I can't do I can't.
Every time I see him, I'm like, oh, my gosh, this guy, him. Know what I mean? Just don't be a jerk about it. It's not hard.
You know, just don't be a jerk. I don't know. All right. Steve made a comment to me. I want to go back to this because I think this is when I was talking about the nugget ring. Steve, can I read this on what you put in slack?
Yeah, I'll explain it when you read it. Okay. Steve goes, I used to wear rings until people thought I was a cheater. What?
And I had one experience. So my best friend makes like coin rings. That's his hobby.
He takes like old quarters and makes rings out of them that look real. It's pretty cool. But then after a while, I used to wear them on my left hand and then my right hand to change fingers. And every time people in public, especially women, thought I was taking it off my ring finger that I was cheating. And then my sister told me that as like a thing. So just don't wear any rings. And I was like, okay. Interesting. I don't think dudes should be wearing rings either. Really.
Unless it's like your college ring, maybe. Or you're like in the Super Bowl. Or you were like my Uncle Junior. That literally was what we called him.
I don't know his name. I have a cousin that we called Too Tall Too. So just don't ask me. It's the Southern Missouri thing.
I don't even know. That's normal that people have cousins called Too Tall, right? Anyway, Uncle Junior. And he wore, I wrote about him in one of my books. He wore brown polyester leisure suits. Never saw him in anything but a leisure suit.
I think he even warmed the river at Cambridge. And he was in the church choir and he wore a gold nugget pinky ring. And he had them gold aviators on. He had them gold aviator reading glasses and then gold aviator sunglasses. And I swear when he walked, it was that Ram Jams Black Betty to the beat.
Like just like on cue. And I wrote my book how his wife would play the church organ like within an inch of sin. And that's who I mean, that's acceptable. If you're gonna wear a ring like that, and you're like that your Uncle Junior, you know, like you're in your late 60s, 70s, it is acceptable then. But unless I think it's like a college ring, you know, or your Super Bowl, what are you doing? Or your wedding ring?
What are you doing? Those are the only three acceptable rings. Those are the only three or if you're like Elton John. You know, I would be weird if he didn't have rings on. It's weird. It's Elton John, right?
He's like the male original Lady Gaga. Like what are you doing? Anyway? Should I put a poll up?
What was that? Should I put a poll up on X to see if people think that? No, because there'll be wrong answers. And I don't want to entertain that. Not in that mood on that.
It's like I would never put up as Green Day acceptable to listen to. There will be wrong answers. And I just cannot abide that.
We can't have that today. So no, that's the order that comes down from on high. So those are the only three rings that your sister was telling you, right?
She did you one solid. Where was this going? Oh, we're talking about celebrities. And endorsing people. I don't know. I just think that if you're at the point where you don't know what you're going to do with your life, unless the celebrity tells you you need an intervention.
And a brain. Maybe. I don't know. Just can't with this. This is so crazy.
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It's the P 15. Tell them Dana sent you. And now all of the news you would probably miss.
It's time for Dana's quick five. So Monday is the one year observance of the terror attack on Israel October 7, which you still have American hostages also that are gone. DHS of course is warning of risks around October 7. Of course they are.
And they're also trying to say that Oh, it's a new report. And you know, these probably maybe I was like some risks around, you know, election and stuff too. Well, then stop it.
Make it stop without making it harder for everybody to vote or easier for people who have no idea to vote. There you go. I would want to do something like this. Okay, I want to do the full body scan and Chris is like, I am absolutely not going to do it. I like to know absolutely everything and get in there as you guys know, because I'm crazy about health.
But now I think I may do this too. It's a simple cheek swab that could accurately predict how long you live. Do you want to know how long you live? Like if you that's one thing I would say like if someone was like, I can tell you exactly how long you live. I don't know that I would want to know that I think I would because then I'd find a way to manipulate it to make it not true. You just said you would become a biohacker.
Did I say those words that I didn't say? That's exactly what that means. I had no idea. Just like you don't like old people. Now you're going to be a biohacker. What in the world? Oh, it's called cheek age. That sounds bad. That's it. That's their product. Would you would you like some cheek age?
No, thank you. Like what's that? I don't even know. But they said that it assess health risks and they develop anti aging interventions. I would want to I would I would do a body scan to find out like anything that was wrong with me.
And I would totally do that. But if they were like, By the way, we can tell you exactly how long you live. I want to be I don't think I've been on the item of that. I don't want to know. I just I want there to be some unknown. You know what I mean? I don't know.
But my husband doesn't want to know anything. I don't get those people. I don't understand that a man was accused of sneaking a shotgun shell filled with meth into the Philly airport. I mean, you can't take anything that's bullet shaped in there. I got so much trouble from TSA for a pin that was in a shotgun shell that I took all Sorry, guys, I'm so sorry.
I took all my tampons out of the box. And I was like, these are all bullet shaped to let me know if you want to confiscate any one of those because I was dealing with it. Anyway, a man from Columbia County, Pennsylvania got arrested at Philly Airport.
He put meth because he thought that would make it through. No, it's not gunpowder. It's not primary. It's not it's not. It's not shells. It's not it's not buckshot. It's not birdshot. It's just meth. So there's nothing in there. It's just the meth. He actually thought that that would work.
Surprise, they caught it and it didn't work. Stay with us. We got we got more. Welcome back to the program Dana lash with you at the bottom of this third hour. We're gonna get into some of the latest with FEMA and of course, the election and everything else. I got to ask you though, first up, have you guys watched a documentary?
It's like from the people who did line? I almost said Lion King, Tiger King. And it's called chimp crazy. No. Okay. Yeah. So Cain, we're both from Missouri. Well, you're in Illinois. So you're like, majority.
No, I actually was born in Missouri lived there for most of my life. But yeah, okay. Yeah. So this, I was watching this. Well, I was watching this.
There's this this thing because I read I had one of my I was actually my hairstylist was telling me about it. She was like, Have you seen some crazy Oh my gosh, and going on and on. And I was like, What?
No, I haven't seen it. And I realized on Facebook, all the people who lived in because we still have a lot of family and fastest. Everyone was like fast.
This is finally on the map. And, you know, everybody was going on on it. And I realized, Oh, my gosh, this is set in the town where I was born, where a lot of our families still live.
And I'm like, what in the world is that? And it has to do with this. They turned it into what like was like a foundation for chimps. But it was people who were like, you know, they they were an animal broker, exotic animal brokers and Peter got involved and, and I was reading over this and it it hit my mind.
Now I've told you guys this story before, but I've never had to tell it like this because it is related to this. So when I was a little bitty kid, we lived in a little town not far from Festus. It was like a mile out called hematite.
Very tiny little bitty rural, very rural area. And up the hauler up the hill were very nice older couple. To me, they were elderly, but when you're like four years old, you know, five years old, anybody who's over 50 looks elderly, right? And they had grown kids, their kids were grown.
And one of their kids married into this family that dealt with exotic animals, right? And my mom had to work and there for like a period of a week one summer, this elderly couple babysat me and they had a beautiful property. It was like all the sprawling farmland and this little farmhouse and a pond. It was beautiful.
It was one of those beautiful places. And that week I was going to go up there and they were going to babysit me while my mom worked because the person who would normally help couldn't. And it just happened at that time that this elderly couple, remember I told you one of their kids married into this family that dealt with exotic animals, that their kid and their spouse, and I can't remember if it was the son or daughter, were going on vacation and they had chimps and they treated them like kids. Like they had beds, they dressed them up. I think they had like two and one of them was a boy and it was a juvenile. It was very young and it was still, I mean, it was in a diaper, but it was very young.
Like the wife of the old lady that walked down the hill had picked him up at one point. But you know, I was a tiny five year old. I wore toddler clothes, so we were kind of about the same size. So anyway, she was like, well, she tells my mom that, well, we're going to be babysitting these, this chimp too.
Just, you know, FYI, let you know, just want you to be aware. And my mom's like, okay. And I was real excited because I'm like, oh my gosh, it's an actual monkey.
I've never been around Champagne Z before. What's it do to like a little bitty kid's mind, right? I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm going to wear my red cowboy boots and we are going to have fun.
And you know those little bugles chips, the little pointed chips that you would put on your fingers and you know, I packed a little baggie for me and I packed a little baggie for the chimp, right? I was like, we are going to be like best friends because they're so close to being kind of like us. Like we're going to be best friends. So anyway, go out that morning and meet them at the edge of my driveway because she walks down with this little chimp and he's little.
He's in overalls. And I was like, we're going to be friends. So exciting. And I gave the, I can't remember his name. I gave the monkey, the chimp a bag of bugles and I thought it would be normal. Like it opened him up.
I didn't expect it to verbalize like, thank you. But you know, I didn't expect for it to go and then smash it and like throw it and then shove me. And, and I was wearing, uh, my cowboy boots got mud on my damn cowboy boots and I was livid. Like we are already starting off on the wrong foot monkey. This is bad.
So go up to the end for all week. It was war. It was open war between me and this chimp.
It would pinch me, pinch me. It was so mean and it was like, not like it was being, I'm going to, I'm experimenting with boundaries like, Oh, I'm going to hurt you. It was like mean and it would touch, like put its hand in its diaper and then try to like touch you with it. It was so gross.
And I would try to, I'd have to lay down and take a nap. And I remember it was like the telltale heart, you know, at that one point when the character, the light of the door opens and there's a sliver on the eye and I'm like laying there taking a nap and I see this chimp, you know, come up and it's like right there in the crack of the door. I could go to sleep cause I didn't know if it's going to come and like pinch me or do whatever. Well, one day I had had it and this thing pinched me and I hauled off and I slapped that damn thing so hard with everything that I had. I slapped it. It was the pimpest slap of all pimp slaps and I got in trouble for it and I was so mad. Well anyway, I never saw that monkey again and I just, it was just one of those things that you file away. Like this is something weird that happened, you know, when I was a kid. Here's the, I slapped a chimp.
Here it is and I got in trouble and I was mad cause I got in trouble. It didn't make me nervous until I got older and I realized, Oh my gosh, wow. If that had been like an older chimp, that thing could have killed me and I didn't realize any potential danger. My mom was not happy about it, obviously. Well it comes out, apparently this is the family that had the chimpanzees, not the people that babysat me, but apparently like their kid like married into them or something. And I mean, I don't know, I've never met, you know, uh, that, what is it? The Tanya Haddix lady and I never met, uh, what was her name?
The Casey lady. But yeah, they were, they're like famous in our town. And I texted my mom and I was like, so what's up with this? And my mom knew like the whole life story. Like, yeah, everybody, everyone knows Tanya. Everybody knows. I mean, that's how it is like in those towns, you know, everybody knows everybody.
And I got like the full, it was, it was hysterical, but I could not believe that. And I started watching it. So I started watching it and um, uh, I watched the first episode last night and man, I don't know. It's weird, dude. I could not, my, my perspective of them is forever tainted because of that experience. But I just, I don't know, like I don't, I don't want anything that can throw feces like live in my house. You know what I'm saying? Like that, that can, that has that choice and makes it like, yeah, I could crush shouldn't, but I'm doing it, you know, like I don't want that in my house.
I don't know. I had to tell you guys this because I didn't realize like PETA had been involved and um, I didn't realize Alan Cummings, the actor had been involved and I do feel bad for them cause I thought their enclosures were a little bare and I, I do feel like those, these crazy people love them in their own way. So you're almost torn in a way, but they deserve way better treatment and you guys know, I don't, I don't, I'm not a big fan of that kind of captivity, but um, it's very interesting. But yeah, I knew exactly where that was and my hairdresser was talking to me about this and she was like, so wait, you need to tell me that in Festus, Missouri there's literally a store where you can get chimpanzees on the side of the road. I'm like, yeah, you can pretty much do anything in Missouri. Moonshine's in our constitution. She's like, what?
But Cain, it's true, right? You want fireworks, you want liquor, moonshine and a chimp. Go do it.
You can open carry and everything. God bless America. Oh my gosh. Missouri is endearing.
You know, people don't know. Those are the type of people that you want. You've got a hurricane tearing up your area. I'm just saying those are the kind of people that all of a sudden like talking about hurricane Helene, there was a guy who's, we have a mutual friend and he's on Facebook and I don't want to add him or anything, but he goes, he's like, I have never, he's like, I'm from the city. He's like, my family, you know, we moved out here in this rural area and I was in high school and he's like, I never really appreciated, you know, all the redneck ingenuity. He's like, I, he goes, I knew that these, you know, they're good people and they, they, they will give you the shirt off their back. He's like, but I didn't realize all the implements they had when something like this hits.
And so he's like, my gosh, like you got a landslide. There's like a landslide in his area and they had flooding and he was like, all of a sudden they got all this inflatable stuff and they got all kinds of everything and cheap. I mean, he's like, I didn't even realize that they had all of these, all this equipment. And he's like, and if they didn't have it, they literally made it.
They just like fabricated it together. Like, you know, MacGyver. And he was in awe because he said they already had their road cleaned up and they rescued a bunch of people and then they went a couple hours south and he was like telling everything his neighbors were doing and he was like, he goes, I want to be a redneck now. And he was like, the only thing I can do right now is a grow mullet. I don't know what else to do.
He's like, but I'm going to start there and I'm going to get a four wheeler. It was like going on down the line. But think about it though. Kane made this point too. When, where was the thing that you put? And I read this, it said things that the people who were talking about what helped them survive the hurricane and it wasn't electric cars and it wasn't their electric appliances and it wasn't Apple Pay and it wasn't, you know, their DEI. It wasn't DEI. It was gas, machinery, gas, gas, gas, cash.
That's what it was. That's what runs the chainsaws also. That's how you can cook your food. They're like, we wouldn't be able to cook our food if we didn't have gas stoves.
Electric stoves, I'm going to sound like my granny for a minute. They're of the devil. Electric stoves are of the devil. They are. They're horrible.
They're horrible. Electric stoves, I will literally like negotiate. I actually negotiated when purchasing houses. I was like, this is an electric stove. I need this off the purchase price because this is the stupidest feature in the house. It's stupid.
I've legit walked right out. I'm not, I'm horrible with this. Gas stoves are the only way. Think about it.
You wouldn't be able to eat. How are you cooking your food? How are you boiling your water? You know, you can sure build a fire off the bat.
That's all right. But this makes it easier, especially if it's raining because it still was. Man, I tell you what, but I, it's that ingenuity. People come in and all these people showed up for the government a week before the government, a week before the government. And they just had this stuff. They didn't have to go out and buy nothing. They're like, well, guess I'll go in the shed and get some water.
I mean, they like had it all. Do you need help delivering it? No, I'm just going to put it up here on the Gator.
Get it out there. So it's all done. My gosh, that's America. God bless America.
I tell you what, some of these other nations out there, they like give us gruff for, I don't know, like American culture. They make fun of rural people and all this. But I'm going to tell you what, those rural people, the first people everybody's reaching out to because you know that they can survive. They got everything. If they need to live off the land, they can live off the land. They don't need all this other stuff. Those, they show up even when you've criticized them, they still show up. And that's what's so good about them. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
