Absurd Truth: Menstruators

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man.

So a Florida man who was wanted was found with drugs after getting lost in the woods, and he had to call the deputies for help. Deputies with the Suwannee County Sheriff's Office say James Lombardi 43. This guy's 43? No way. No way is this guy 43. You are kidding me.

No way. This guy looks like he's 70. This guy does not look 43 years old. Somebody's lying.

Why don't you just throw that up on the screen, on the simulcast screen for y'all. That, that dude don't, he does not look 43 years old. 43.

No way. 43. 43. If I was at the carnival, guess who would be your dad? Yeah.

If I was guessing ages, I'd get this wrong. Oh my gosh. Okay, I know there's more to the story, but holy cow. Alright, so he, this guy got lost in the woods. He called for help Saturday morning. The sheriff's office came out.

They found him in an hour and brought him back to the boat park. And then they were like, you got an active arrest warrant out because you violated your probation. And then they found drugs on him and he had all kinds of stuff, meth, glass pipe, glass vial, all kinds. So he got charged with a bunch of things, including meth and drug stuff. So he went back to the pokey.

There you go. Florida men are accused of stealing 150 gallons of used cooking oil from restaurants. Please tell me what this is for.

Why do people do this? Biodiesel. Back in the day, you can turn, you can actually turn used cooking oil into a biofuel, into a diesel fuel with the proper little, you know. Are you telling me that this is what these criminals are doing?

Yeah. I mean, there's not much you can really use used cooking oil for. So these two dudes, South Florida, they were arrested in St. Petersburg, were accused of stealing 150 gallons of used cooking oil.

Wilmer Durand and Julio Ona, 49 and 53 charged with burglary. They said it was well planned. Now, state law says restaurants have to dispose of their used cooking oil after frying food. But apparently this metro diner just put it in a tank outside. Third party comes and picks it up.

Usually the areas are fenced and locked, but apparently, I guess this isn't. And witnesses watch them do it. And they also stole from a cracker barrel. Isn't it a lot of work, though, to do that? Yeah. And by the way, it wasn't even illegal to do that like five to 10 years ago. Like most restaurants were like, yeah, we just need to get rid of it. And it was costing them to get rid of it. And so people were like, well, we'll take it. And so it became a thing. And now everyone's protecting their used cooking oil and I don't get it.

I don't get it either. They said it was. So they said it was theft. And it is they said 55% of darling ingredients. They own the tank at the metro diner. They said 55% of theirs is produces renewable diesel.

And it's a valuable commodity. So I cannot believe that's the thing. Wow. Anyway, they got in trouble. Totally arrested. This Palm Beach Post, a man facing life in prison for sexually exploiting two teenage girls, begged for a judge to sentence him to a decade instead. And he goes, he said he's a 26 year old child in a man's body. I think this guy should be put to death. Personally. Really? No, the problem isn't that you're a child in a man's body, which is a gross thing. It doesn't exist. It's that you're breathing.

The problem is that you're breathing. This guy doesn't shouldn't be alive. But apparently he he exploited one of the girls was 13 years old. And he like, yeah, he was a big he's a bad guy.

Bad, bad, bad guy. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Why is he breathing?

Florida man was arrested for abandoning three kids on an island. Oh, okay. There you go.

Oh, no. satellite beach police department said they got 911 call from a 51 year old who said he lost contact with three kids who were supposed to be in his care. 910 and 11. He and his companion left the kids while they went to get more camping supplies. And then they were both found.

Kayla Campbell and Leonard now we're both on intoxicated. They couldn't police couldn't get a coherent statement from either of them. A good Samaritan located the kids. They heard them screaming for help brought them to safety. They were alone on the island for four hours without food or supplies. And the adults were doing coke and smoking marijuana.

They got taken into jail custody on custody on charges of child neglect. Golly, our partners that help bring your free radio. It's our friends over at Caltech American made Caltech based in Florida. It's a great, great American story. It's about a guy who immigrated legally the right way from Sweden, George Kellgren. He's like the Swedish chef of guns.

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It's the sub 2k the Gen three version I got the Gen two I don't have the Gen three version yet. You can see it for yourself at Caltech weapons.com K e l t e c weapons.com and make sure to tell them Dana sent you before I dive into this nightmare. I just I want to pause. Well, we'll read the tweet and then I need to make a point about the image being used. So the US Department of Labor tweeted out yesterday, quote, hashtag menstruation affects half the US workforce. But talking about it at work can be taboo. For hashtag menstrual hygiene day.

Here are five easy actions employers can take to help menstruators thrive at work. So what is that? You mean a woman? Because again, gentlemen, if you are bleeding from your crotchal area, you need to seek medical attention. Because I can promise you that a normal. Okay.

Let's establish that. But the other thing that I noticed, like before even getting into this nightmare, was I guess the chick, they used in like a pick up purposely androgynous photo of this chick with bleached hair, and she doesn't have an apple. So that means she doesn't have a banana. So they they used this look at this, this androgynous photo, she's got a horrible like mullet.

It goes from Little Lord Fauntleroy in the front to mullet in the back. Can you imagine like being a stock photo model and having your photo taken for a stock photo gallery, and then becoming the face of menstrual hygiene? Can you imagine that's you? Like you're walking around in the street and someone recognizes you. Oh my gosh, you're the menstruation hygiene lady. Can you imagine? That's you.

Like you use you modeled for the the the the the photo and stock photo and it's used like this. How bad is your life? So that's the first thing I immediately thought like you're that she's the menstruation hygiene lady. The second thing I thought was menstruators isn't a real word. Women is though.

And only in that area. It's a biological function. Don't sit here and try to act like it's a normal biological function when you can't even name women. You can't even define women. How in the hell can you talk about menstrual hygiene day? You don't even know what women are. What is a women?

You don't even know. Then when you click on the link, it takes you to some backrooms taxpayer funded hellscape where you get this. To commemorate this menstrual hygiene day, the Women's Bureau, full stop. That sounds like hell. The Women's Bureau? They're unarmed, but they will nag you to death. The Women's Bureau is breaking down stereotypes and stigmas that have made menstruation a taboo topic in the workplace.

Okay, full stop. Why are you talking about menstruation in the workplace to begin with? Have people worked remotely for so long that they have just utterly forgot how to behave in public and professional places? How does this, I mean, have they forgotten to wash themselves? How does this conversation even go?

I provided a helpful script on Substack. You know, where Pam strides into the room and grabs a cup at the water cooler for water. Standing nearby is Debbie. Hey Debbie, how are you doing today?

Man, we've had a lot of calls. I'm doing okay. My vagina hurts because I'm bleeding though. Like what, your period or something?

Yes, I thought Wes Craven was filming a new horror movie down there, but I'm not sure. I wish we had government resource to explain to us how our stupid bodies work. Yeah, I don't know.

Like how does this go? I don't know why you need to have this conversation to make other people aware. And I'm going to say something that's not PC, but I have no other way to put it.

There's no way that other people would know you have an issue unless you're like reeking of Day Old Sushi Buffet. I have no idea how else to put it. You know I'm right, Kane. Stop it.

You know I am. Department of Labor can't even define woman. Lady biz in the lady area is a biological function, but it doesn't make you a victim. I'm so tired of these people acting like anything that befalls women somehow further victimizes us.

And that's what it is. Not everything has to be some kind of bizarre attribute of victimhood. Oh my gosh.

She has she has the flow. Oh gosh, she's a victim. Shut up. Women throughout history have done this.

Not menstruators, by the way, but women. You don't need to make this a thing with the Department of Labor. I feel weird that they're talking about it even. Like I would be like, I'm quitting. This is weird. No, this is so bad. You know, I don't I don't see guys like walking into the workplace talking about how big the deuce they had was last night. So I really don't need you know, that happens a lot. Shut up.

Sorry to be honest with you, but it does. We need to have deuce awareness. Like, do you need to be but but menstruation hygiene like you again, right? Unless it's like, I mean, unless you're working for Tampax, this shouldn't be in a conversation at work.

Even then just make just roll the cotton. You know what I'm saying? Just get it done. Nobody cares. I can't I just can't. Are we done with this yet?

No, we're not. Because I'm mad. I'm mad that this keeps happening. I can't even believe that there's a day for it. There's a day for this. Like it's an ailment.

A day. Shut up. You guys have too much damn time on your hands. We have an indulging a self a self indulging society that is drowning in privilege. They don't know what hard work is. They sit on their asses and they do scroll through their phones.

I had this headline yesterday, how they say that they don't know what hard work is. They sit on their asses and they do scroll through their phones. I had this headline yesterday, how they spend like, what is it?

How many days of their lives do they spend? Pretend shopping, fantasy shopping on their phones. Like there's a study done.

Thousands of people were surveyed and they studied this. We live in such an indulgent society that it makes stuff like this possible. Everything is so great. You feel uncomfortable because it's so great. And then you're like, wow, I gotta create more problems for myself.

Guess I better vote Democrat and then think that, you know, a basic biological function is an attribute of victimhood. Stop. Stop making everything miserable. It's just horrible. I can't stand these people. It's so frustrating.

Gosh, it has to be hard to be a chick, like a teenage girl nowadays, and grow up with us stuff. It really does. So I just, we apparently spent taxpayer dollars on this because it's a government site.

So you know that's a taxpayer funded government site. But I just, you know, not everything is open for work discussion. I get that people like to overshare on social media. Stop it. Just stop it. Nobody cares. Nobody.

Nobody wants to know about this stuff. You know, and by the way, you wouldn't need to provide these things for free, by the way, because they're like, Oh, women can't afford this stuff. Oh, you know, not in this economy. Maybe I don't know, stop voting Democrat. I love the women who are like, I'm gonna I have a horrible taste in men. Can't wait to vote for the next man president for Biden.

Like Taylor Swift, her entire album history is about how horrible she is at picking men. And so she backs Joe Biden. May all the sense in the world. So if it wasn't for inflation, maybe you know, maybe instead of like pandering to women like this, maybe just lower or abolish the income tax entirely.

Stop spending our tax dollars like your hunter Biden at his cocaine dealer's house. Stop it. Just the thought. So frustrating. Sorry, guys, I had to get I had to talk about this because it made me angry. And I saw it yesterday and I wanted to share the burden. Like a village over.

I mean, I grew up with the commercials were just mother and daughter walking on the beach. You had no idea what they were doing. Private conversation. Why was it? Why are we talking about this?

It was a joke because it was so vague. Like everyone was real polite about it. Now they're like, you know, are you bleeding to death every month? I mean, now it's like so in your face and crass. It's like we get it right.

Classy. We need to go back to them. You had no idea what they were selling you.

They were walking on a beach. Nobody knew until the jokes were made. And then finally we became. And now I don't think they do that anymore. I don't know.

But the mother and daughter walking in. Did you ever get that not so fresh feeling? And I'm like, maybe you should get new deodorant. Like I didn't know like, you know, how is it possible that America could run short of amoxicillin? Amoxicillin is like the Swiss Army knife of antibiotics because it treats so many different types of infections. Doctors prescribe it for ear, nose, throat infections, it treats lower respiratory infections, sinusitis, which I've had before skin infections, UT eyes.

So again, how could America run short on it? Antibiotics come from China and India. And if you or a family member gets sick and there's no amoxicillin, now what? So that's why I have a medical emergency kit from the wellness company. I've used it for strep before. It comes with amoxicillin.

And it's in your kit now when you need it. So this is not a first aid kit. It's like an urgent care in your house with essential prescriptions. And it comes with those essential prescriptions to treat over 39 medical issues. It's doctor prescribed antibiotics for infections of all types like strep throat, pneumonia, UT eyes, bronchitis, so much more. Plus you have a doctor's guide so you know exactly when and how to use each prescription. You've got your medications, no waiting to see the doctor, no lines at the pharmacy, every home should have at least one medical emergency kit. So order yours online in minutes, and they'll rush it to your door. Get 15% off at twc.health.dana.

It's time for Dana's quick five. This is in Texas, Houston. See them gators are everywhere. A missing Texas woman's body was found inside the jaws of an alligator who was still eating her. They haven't not yet revealed her the identity or cause of death.

I'm thinking it could have been a gator. Just you know, she was in her 60s believed and they found her on the banks of the horsepin Bayou in Clear Lake about 8.40am. Tuesday, 12 hours after she went missing, and they discovered the alligator gnawing on her they had to shoot it to prevent it from damaging the remains further. A dive team then recovered the body and the alligator from the bayou.

They have not yet can you I could not be on a dive team like that. They've not revealed her her identity and they said they're gonna do the autopsy from what they can but that's just awful. Her husband reported are missing. It's unclear if she was actually killed by the alligator, but they're trying to figure it out. But yeah, they said that they're all over. And that area so just assume they're everywhere anywhere from like Houston, or like Tyler, Texas on East there's it's gator country.

They're in the puddles. Just assume nearly half of Gen Z live a double life online. This is not surprising. Apparently, they say that they Gen Z feels like it's a double life when it comes to their online and offline personas. 2000 Americans were surveyed split evenly by generation 46% of Gen Z felt their online personality differs from how they present themselves in the real world.

As opposed to 18% of Gen Xers who will call you will see you next Tuesday to your face just like they do on social media. Just saying it's true spy pandas. This is my first thought when I saw this headline. They call it panda diplomacy.

No, it's not. These pandas are actually probably people in panda costumes. China is sending two pandas to Washington. They said that it's a surprise announcement panda diplomacy. The the pandas are gonna arrive in the United States. They're spies. These pandas are straight up spies.

You know this. You think they're friendly because they're all cute cute and their babies are pure chaos. But they're spy pandas. So apparently they're going to be here in DC towards the end of the year. I don't know how I feel about it.

Kane thoughts. You know it's gonna be a dude in a panda suit. You're just wait.

I'm just waiting for it. A white writer was eviscerated because he disguised himself as black so he could write a book about racism. Sam Forster who is a white Canadian.

He revealed the premise of his book Tuesday and he was immediately ripped into complete shreds. He said he told himself because last summer I disguised myself as a black man and traveled throughout the US to document how racism persists in American society. I mean he could have literally you could have had a black author write that if that's what you wanted to do. But can I can't. I mean that's white privilege right there.

A communist white leftist. Totally. We have a lot more on the way including aliens and well something else. Speaking of people saying stuff can we talk. Hang on I got to talk about this pope thing. So Pope Francis this is the Guardian.

It's a British paper. Pope Francis allegedly used offensive slur during discussion about gay men. Bishops say the pontiff made the remark during a closed door debate on admitting homosexual men into seminaries.

Really. He said he's 87. And apparently according to the article it was a remark he made during a closed door meeting with bishops in Rome last week where they were reportedly discussing whether gay men should be out gay men should be admitted into Catholic seminaries where priests are trained a topic that the Italian bishops conference is said to have been pondering for some time. Can I say it in Italian. I don't know.

Does that count. I mean it's what he said. It's news. Yeah but it's so he used the word that they use for cigarettes in the UK. Yeah. I mean he called him it rhymes with dags.

It's a mystery. That's what he said. The Italian. Can I say that because he said it in Italian.

But he was saying basically this is how I have it on my rundown quote. There's too many daggits. That's what he said. It's a vulgar Italian word that roughly translates to daggitness. That's what the article says and of course I'm saying not that I'm saying the D not the F because we'll get in trouble. So they said that the unnamed bishops that he they said the pontiff meant the derogatory term is a joke and some were surprised and perplexed by the legislature. He might not have been aware that the term was offensive. Wait you're more offended over that than the possibility of what he just said. Wait a minute. Hold up.

By the way the photo that Juan selected of this is just chef's kiss. Let me just point that out for a moment. He said that because the pope said that he said being gay is a fashion and the clergy is susceptible and all this stuff. So they're mad that he's called them a bunch of dags. But they're not mad that they're being admitted.

The bishops who got butthurt over it. Pun intended. Right. I don't know. It's fro ciagni. Yeah. Fro ciagni is apparently what it what it is.

That's for news purposes. Anyway but he said that the article says during the discussion when one of the bishops asked Francis what he should do the pope reportedly reiterated his objection to admitting gay men saying that while it was important to embrace everyone it was likely that a gay person could risk leading a double life. And then he's alleged to have added that there was already too much of the fro ciagni. A vulgar Italian word that roughly translates daggettness in some seminary. So he said that there's too many of them in the seminary. This is what he said.

And some of the actual bishops were like, Oh, that sounds like a slur. I'm perplexed. You're perplexed that he said the word but you're not perplexed that he had to because it exists.

Where are you at? Right. Someone's like the pontiff may not have been aware the term was offensive.

I'm pretty sure he probably was. I don't know. They said it's just the Roman Catholic Church's position is that homosexual acts are sinful. The decree on training for priests in 2016, blah, blah, blah. I just think it's funny that they're acting like there are people acting like it's. I can't believe you use that word. Well, I can't believe that there's apparently too much daggettness in the seminaries. I mean, I'm more shocked over that than the word he used, right?

Maybe not shocked, but you know what I mean, right? Go on. So I wish he wasn't so bad on so many other things, because I feel like this is a Fetterman moment he kind of had, right? Because on the other stuff, he's just he's just not so great on. I got to say, not so great on. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.