Absurd Truth: Baby Momma Drama

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Florida Man bites a bar manager's finger over an incident about a dog leading to a brawl.

It's like old Yeller. Florida Man was arrested over Memorial Day weekend after he bit a bar manager's finger. Kenneth Davis, 27, at Madeira Beach, was taken to jail Sunday afternoon after a group of friends he was with became unruly when they were told they could not bring a dog into Undertow Beach Bar. And then, the deputy just said, that's when Davis lunged forward and bit at the bar manager's finger. The manager defended himself, punched Davis in the face, a brawl between Davis' grip and the bar staff broke out, and it was all caught on video. The fight was broken up when the police arrived, and the bar manager did not want to file battery charges.

So Davis just got a disorderly intoxication charge and he was taken to Pinellas County Jail. I will say, it sounded like a bar scuffle. The bar manager rolled with it. You don't really get people who are that chill.

That guy needs to be counting his blessings. Because he probably could have gotten worse. And also, that's not how you settle disputes. But it also sounded like the bar manager was maybe pointing his finger in his face. And that's kind of how that happened.

And the guy threw the first punch, so I'm just saying. But I don't mind if dogs are in a bar. I just don't like it when people don't, when they're bad owners.

I dislike bad owners more than I dislike any dog, I have to say. Let's see here. Ooh, a Florida man discovers a mastodon tusk, it's huge, while fossil hunting off of the Florida coast. That's pretty significant. I got to be honest, I would have thought that it would just look like a big chunk of driftwood.

Juan's going to show you guys the picture in the simulcast. It's a four foot long mastodon tusk. Alex Lundberg, 29, was scuba and he's an amateur fossil hunter. And he stays at his parents' house when he visits the beach and he searches for prehistoric objects in the waters nearby.

He goes, I'm a weekend warrior. He discovered this tusk. I mean, to me, it looks like a piece of driftwood. He realized it was a tusk. And he said that it isn't uncommon to find broken pieces like that. He goes, but this is the first time he ever saw something this big. He goes, we call it mammoth bark because it looks just like tree bark. So he knew what he was looking for. I literally would have swam right over it. I'm not going to lie.

And now I feel bad because I'm like, have I ever been around a fossil like that and not noticed? Because I just, I don't know. It's kind of crazy.

Cinnamon roll battery. What in the world? Oh my gosh.

All right. So this lady, Florida woman, St. Petersburg. Why is everything St. Petersburg lately? A Florida woman was arrested after she hurled a cinnamon roll at another person at a soup kitchen of all places in Florida last week. Ann Marie Luna was arrested and charged with misdemeanor battery. It was at the St. Vincent de Paul Cares.

Ann Marie Luna. She threw a cinnamon roll at the back of a man's head near the base of his neck and it was captured on security footage. He didn't suffer any injuries, but he said he wanted to press charges. Really? I had a cinnamon roll. This is okay. See, this is why you can't have me be in a position of power like that elected because I'd be like, you know what? I'm going to make up a charge right now. You're a pansy and you're going to get charged for that.

Here's a $500 fine. You know what I mean? No, you shouldn't be throwing food. You're a grown woman.

That's dumb. But also if you get hit with a cinnamon roll, unless it was like a couple days old and stale, you're not getting hurt. It's a pastry. It hits you in the neck.

You're a dude. You know what I'm saying? Like what? It's not like you get the fine. She's not giving you $500. What in the world?

Let's see. A Florida man recorded a turtle riding a 10-foot alligator around on a pond like a horse. Only in Florida. I love how high the little turtle's got its head stretched up. It's got its head stretched up so tall. A travel blogger in Florida captured a turtle riding on the back of a gator. And a gator apparently did not care that its food was riding it around like a horse.

And it's cute. But don't try this because I don't know how the turtle gets away from this. Did anybody make sure the turtle actually got away safely? Because I'm feeling like maybe it wouldn't because they eat those things, you know?

So, I mean, I'm just assuming that it did because they never said that it didn't eat it. Because how do you get away for a turtle on a gator like that? Knowing the gator eats you. Swim in the opposite direction of the mouth.

I mean, the gators swim fast. How is it possible that America could run short of amoxicillin? Amoxicillin is like the Swiss Army knife of antibiotics because it treats so many different types of infections. Doctors prescribe it for ear, nose, throat infections. It treats lower respiratory infections. Sinusitis, which I've had before. Skin infections. UTIs.

So, again, how could America run short on it? Antibiotics come from China and India. And if you or a family member gets sick and there's no amoxicillin, now what? So that's why I have a medical emergency kit from the wellness company. I've used it for strep before. It comes with amoxicillin.

And it's in your kit now when you need it. So this is not a first aid kit. It's like an urgent care in your house with essential prescriptions. And it comes with those essential prescriptions to treat over 39 medical issues.

It's doctor prescribed antibiotics for infections of all types like strep throat, pneumonia, UTIs, bronchitis, so much more. Plus you have a doctor's guide so you know exactly when and how to use each prescription. You've got your medications. No waiting to see the doctor. No lines at the pharmacy. Every home should have at least one medical emergency kit.

So order yours online in minutes and they'll rush it to your door. Get 15% off at TWC.Health.Dana and use promo code Dana. That's promo code Dana at TWC.Health.Dana. Hunter Biden's baby mama. She's got a memoir coming out, guys.

London Roberts. She's releasing a tell all in August, the same month as the Democratic convention. She's the mother of Hunter's five-year-old daughter, Navy Joan, who the family absolutely refuses to acknowledge to the point where they don't even put up a stocking for her on the family fireplace for Christmas.

So then they stopped putting up stockings because Jill and Joe were asked every year about it. So it's going to be out of the shadows my life inside the wild world of Hunter Biden. It's coming out on August 20th. And this is the first time I think people are seeing the daughter. The daughter's on the cover of the book. And I got to tell you, that kid looks like Hunter Biden's kid.

Have you seen it, Kane? Yeah, the kid looks like Hunter Biden's kid. I don't know how you can look at that little girl and be like that's because I don't think she showed her face before, but everybody's been talking about this kid. She's a beautiful little girl.

She's super pretty. But that's kind of sad that you wouldn't want to acknowledge that little girl. You're Joe and Jill, and you can't acknowledge one of your grandkids because you disapprove of the manner in which she was conceived. I mean, your son was on drugs. You're not going to, I can't imagine not acknowledging if I was, if I, you know, was a grandparent, I can imagine not acknowledging a grandkid. I can't imagine that.

How evil are you? And how self-involved? I think Joe Biden was so self-absorbed that he was more into himself as a politician than he was being a dad, which is why all his children are messed up. And I think that his whole family revolved around his ego and making their family millions and being shady.

That was it. But the book will be out and she was working at a strip club in DC when they first met. She's from Kentucky. And she, apparently there's like tons of stories in this. And he, like, I guess when he was with her, that's when he was also dating his sister-in-law. And he just sort of brushed her off when he wrote about her in the book. He mentioned her like briefly, like, oh, he had women that he'd been with during his rampages, and they were hardly the dating type. But the thing is, is that London Roberts worked for his family for a while. Like, he had said that he challenged and called a woman, or sorry, not Kentucky, Arkansas, a woman in Arkansas, blah, blah, blah.

He goes, I had no recollection of our encounter. That's how little connection I had. Except that's a lie. There are emails of him instructing, he employed her at Seneca. He, after I guess they got together, he employed her.

And you guys remember this. And he had her on their insurance. He dropped her while she was pregnant from their family insurance, from this Seneca Rosemont insurance. And there are emails that came out a couple of years ago that where he was instructing the staff to drop her.

So that's an absolute lie. Hunter Biden's just a piece of... He still is. He's a horrible father. He's, my family would call him a... That's what they would call him. An absolute... I don't know, he might be 50 something years old, but if I was Joe or Jill, I would whoop his ass with a wooden spoon and a flip flop up and down Pennsylvania Avenue. This is just... But you remember those emails, right, Cain?

I'm going to pull this out because I got this in my bookmark system. He had... Because she worked at Rosemont Seneca. Yeah, I mean, and she had testified already in the tax evasion trial in California. He had already testified to this.

And he was going to drop... He was going to cut ties with her. So all of that... So the emails in that came out ahead of her testimony in the tax trial in California. So him saying that he had no recollection, not only did he have recollection, he hired her to work at Rosemont Seneca. And then when she got inconveniently pregnant and wouldn't get an abortion, then he dropped her. Dropped her from the insurance. She cut off her insurance. She's pregnant with his child and he cuts off her insurance.

Fires her. He is scum. All the wrong people overdose. So... Oh, I said it.

Somebody should. Right? It's just ridiculous. And the family's like, oh, well, at one point, they had to... Joe and Jill had to publicly acknowledge her. And this was not even a year ago. It was in July of last year that they were forced to finally publicly acknowledge her.

And all they said was that this isn't a political issue, etc. And we only want what's best for our grandchildren, including Navy. But as Cain reminds, even Biden's dogs and cats got stockings at Christmas. Not even... Little Navy Joe never did.

Ever. They've never even seen her. They've never met her.

Hunter begrudgingly met her. And he wasn't going to remember. He had to be drugged to court for child support.

He had refused to pay child support even after she took numerous paternity tests. And I mean, you take one look at this kid. That kid looks like Hunter. She has her mom's prettiness, but she's got her dad's eyes. That child has Hunter Biden's eyes in that, for sure. You can see it. I mean, not only did he not want to pay... And Juan's showing you on the simulcast, the book cover.

You can look at that. That little girl looks like Hunter. But then he wouldn't pay child support. He's a deadbeat.

Can you imagine if I was Joe Biden, because Hunter now is trying to play responsible, dad-happy families with his new Insta-fluence wife, his Insta-fluencer wife and their little kid? I wouldn't allow them to be at any of the White House events. I would not allow them.

Because it's so embarrassing. They have no self-awareness. They're white trash.

Actually, white trash is better than that family. Shameful. So they're coming out with this.

And it's interesting because guess who's... It's a president of a Super PAC that backs RFK that's publishing it, which is funny. So they're paying for that to be published. Skyhorse Publishing. They've already released excerpts from it.

The president, Tony Lienz, is the co-founder of the Kennedy's American Values PAC. But yep, that's it. That's the story.

I can't even... We'll see how this goes. But that'll be very interesting as that comes out because you know she's gonna have to go on a book tour. She's gonna be on a book tour when this all unfolds at the DNC.

That's when she's gonna be on her book tour. Interesting, is it not? Very interesting. Our partners that help bring you free radio. It's our friends over at Caltech.

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I don't have the Gen 3 version yet. You can see it for yourself at keltechweapons.com. K-E-L-T-E-C weapons dot com. And make sure to tell them Dana sent you. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. So I don't want to, oh yeah, they're trying to say that one of the side effects of that, is it Ozymptic, the weight loss shot thing that people do, they said that it apparently, I read this article this morning that said that it's impulse control.

That that's a side effect of it is impulse control. Sidebar, I watched the South Park, the weight loss special. That was actually hysterical.

That was really funny. Let's see. We already had this headline. This is the second time this is in here.

Police say three LA County 7-Eleven stores were robbed in an hour. It's LA. Shocker.

Let's see. A Campbell man, I don't know who Campbell was, was arrested for elder abuse. So a guy punched a guy in the face and the guy was elderly.

Next. This IRS apparently stole the files of at least 50,000 Americans, much higher than previously acknowledged, according to Americans for Tax Reform. They said that this because this was a story, remember, but I think that people were unaware of how widespread it was.

It's the IRS, they find the largest set of private taxpayer information in history, stole the individual and business tax files of 50,000 to 70,000 people, according to a Wall Street Journal piece written by one of the victims of the theft. In the sentencing, the government said that they understated the amount of victims by thousands. But actually, it was tens of thousands. It was 50,000 felonies, the guy committed 50,000 felonies, but he got charged with one single count. And the victims include like Oprah Winfrey, LeBron James, Lauren Michaels, Floyd Mayweather, Michael Jordan, Calvin Klein, like, most of them are not famous, but those are the famous ones.

So many of them are about to get a notification from the Treasury that your privacy was compromised. Yeah, the guy only got five years for 50,000 felonies. That's crazy. How did how was that just a singular count?

I don't get how that's one singular count. A poll says a majority of Democrats approve of replacing Biden on the 2020 or 2024 ticket. We're replacing him with a new Democrat nominee, the Rasmussen poll of 1,113 likely voters conducted from mid-May found that 54% of Democrats think it's acceptable. Wow. I mean, you know, they did go to the virtual nomination to bypass all of that stuff at the convention. There's a reason why they did it.

Just saying. Israel's mass casualty strike in Rafah. People were saying it doesn't cross Biden's red line, mainly because Israel didn't do it. I don't know why people are insisting that somehow Israel did this, but they said they did not cause the fire in Rafah, that it was not from their missile. They did not use a missile in that airstrike. That's not what they said. Remember the last time that Israel was blamed for something and the video footage came out and it showed it was Hamas's own rocket that hit their own hospital and Israel was blamed for it?

Same thing is happening here. I've got to share this story with you. Now Lorraine tells me that I need to be honest about what this story is. This is not a dude who wants to be an anthropomorphic dog. He wants to be like an physical dog.

So without further ado, this is why aliens lock their doors when they fly past Earth. Told you this. This guy spent $14,000 to become a dog, a collie specifically. He changed his mind upon realizing that it's very difficult to walk like a dog. And previously he had been made fun of justifiably by trolls. He spent $12,000 on a costume. His name is Toko. He spent 2 million yen, $12,000 on a dog costume and it was advertised as being lifelike.

If I would have seen something like this, I'm going to be real with you. If this thing would have come up to me at a park, here's the video that I just dropped a view of him and if this video like it fetches, he spent $12,000. The damn thing can't move its head. He can't move his head like a dog. So like when he turns around, he's got to do one of these.

He's got to literally from his back end turn. He can't turn and look something with his neck because he's not a dog, right? So he got this costume and he has 30,000 morons subscribe to this guy's YouTube account. He got his little special suit and he dressed up as a dog and he does tricks. If I would have seen this thing come up to me at a park, I would have kicked it.

But here's the problem. He can't walk outside like a dog. He had to be put on a luggage cart and carted around because he's a person in a dog costume. Is it the costume that cost 14,000?

Is that what it was? There's an extra 14. The costume itself was 12,000. So there's a couple thousand for something. I don't know what. I'm afraid to ask.

He said he's being bullied online. Really? We're also shocked. If I would have seen this, does that look like a dog to you guys watching the simulcast video of the dog? It literally looks like a fake dog.

He spent 12. That's not movie quality. He can't see anything. He's a freak.

It is the dumbest thing. He's got like dog gloves. He doesn't move like a dog. He moves like a demon in a dog suit. It's like a bad, crappy dog costume possessed. He can't grab it. It's just horrible.

I would have put it down already. I've been like this poor dog. So he said, quote, I'm sad that people think that because everyone goes, you need a therapy. You need therapy, not a dog costume, you weird sex freak.

And he goes, I'm sad that people think that I love animals and enjoy play acting like a cop, like a collie. This is my hobby. No, you're a freak. And so no one knows what he looks like. It is so weird. It's just weird. The videos of it online are so freaky. I can't deal with it.

It's just weird. So anyway, long story short, $14,000. Now he decides, you know what, it's really hard to walk around like a dog. Kane, you think that you would have maybe figured that out before you spent $12,000 on the car?

I don't know what else you spent the other $2,000 on. But I mean, this just goes to prove that even mental illness has its limits. He's clearly mentally ill, and his body decided to just let him know that his mental illness has limits. Did you see the video of him trying to jump over the little doggy hurdle? Doesn't happen.

Very athletic. I mean, I would have put this dog down and something's wrong with it. I've been like, it's in trouble. It's misery. Yeah, it's dogs miserable.

It's horrible. Something's wrong with it. It doesn't look like a dog doesn't even look like a stuffed dog. So now he's like, well, you know, maybe I'm gonna dress up like another maybe I'll just be like another animal since I can't walk like a dog. So now he's thinking, I don't know, panda maybe or cheese, really, or a bear. An animal that can walk on two legs. He goes, I would like to be a fox, but that's too small.

Well, at least he's got some realistic perception on proportion. A panda or a bear? He's gonna walk around like a bear?

You know what I mean? Like the animal? I've seen bears on two legs.

Yeah, not that kind of bear, though. I had to really watch what I was saying. I appreciate that. I have a funny story about that that no one will I cannot tell because it'll go viral and it'll become end up becoming the most shared thing I've ever done and I'm not going to do it. Can you have you heard this story? You've told me I think I know what story.

You know what story it is? And I agree. Yeah, you agree, don't you?

Yes. Yeah, not do it. My young, naive, sweet little heart. I had no idea what I'd gotten into.

I had no idea what I had stumbled across. That's all I'm going to say. It would literally become the most shared thing I've ever done ever and I'm not ever going to do it.

Anyway. Don't say never. No, I'm never going to. I'm never going to do this. I think it highlights my purity and my innocence and naivety.

You can't have that? Well, I mean, I wasn't raised to know what certain things were. You know, my mom didn't go, now these are the men who like to get butch with other dudes, so they dress like butch, so they attract the butch.

I wasn't raised that way. You know what I'm saying? You've already said too much. You've already said too much. You guys will just have to wonder. It's never going to happen. Thanks for tuning into today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.