Absurd Truth: Pro-Hamas Protesters get TROLLED

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions.

It's time for Florida Man. We got a story from The Villages. A suspect was arrested after fleeing with a two cases stolen beer at the Walmart in Buffalo Ridge Plaza in The Villages. Thomas Watts of Lady Lake entered the store. And he willingly stole a case of Heineken. Heineken, which smells like a post a 2am post Del Taco gas station diarrhea incident. And he stole a case of Heineken in a case of Corona Extra. And he also added a 20 ounce bottle of Mountain Dew to the car before pushing it out of the store without paying for merchandise. He quickly walked to a pickup truck, loaded the beer and Mountain Dew inside and he was stopped later by a deputy taken into custody. He was previously convicted of retail theft. Willingly stole a Heineken.

Willingly. Peewee, Florida man who is nicknamed Peewee, was caught exposing himself at numerous Florida stores multiple times a month, say deputies. A man who goes by the nickname was caught in a Southwest Florida business three times in one month, according to Charlotte County deputies. Xavier Hearns, aka Peewee, was first arrested after being accused of exposing his bits in a Port Charlotte Target. Deputies didn't hear from him again and when he was accused then of exposing himself and also doing something nasty at a neighborhood Walmart in Port Charlotte. And then he was arrested like less than a week later at a Burlington co factory where he, you guessed it, exposed himself again. A woman accused Hearns of following her through the store while he did so he was booked into the Charlotte County Jail on April 26 and he is being withheld without bond. He's being held without bond. Tomorrow we'll talk about a man who had a pasta fight during a road rage incident.

Someone who trafficked over 44 pounds of cocaine, a wild Wawa rampage, and the largest meth bust in the history of Orlando. It's a very, very busy day for a week, month for Florida Man. Our partners that help bring you free radio, the folks over at Kel-Tec, the Sub 2K, you guys are real familiar with this. We've talked about it for quite some time. The Sub 2K Gen 3 has been shipping for months now. And if you have not gotten it, you definitely should.

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So make sure you check it out at KelTecWeapons.com, K-E-L-T-E-C Weapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you. This is this dude at this protest. Which one is this?

One of the trash baby protests. He's praising North Korea for not- Yeah, Princeton is a Princeton student. So Princeton, this dude in a man bun. Okay, I'm just gonna take everything I have. First off, Dana, deep breaths. Welcome back, everybody. Welcome back.

It's at bottom of this first hour. That was a dude in a man bun who would not have been able to, the irony of him dressed as he is with the hairstyle that he has being in here, he's at Princeton, and he gets up there on stage and he's like, oh, I mean, he's praising North Korea because North Korea never established diplomatic relations with Israel and oh my gosh. But is he familiar with North Korea by chance?

So this is what's happening to these protests. You've got these people that go up there and they're praising North Korea. They would never have been able to do any of this stuff in North Korea. You literally have to choose a haircut from the Kim Jong-un short stack's little selection of his little menu of haircuts. You know that, right? They don't even allow jeans down there because jeans, ever since the Cold War, is representation of Western freedom.

And you can't have that. It's so asinine. This guy with his man bun, his man bun, which is just a white flag of defeat, I think.

It really is. I think he calls it a samurai topknot. It's not a samurai topknot. I think that's what he calls it. That's not a samurai topknot. No, no, no. Don't try that Bushido with me. Pretty sure that's what he calls it.

Good night. But this is the kind of stuff that they're promoting at these protests. I thought my friend Sunny Johnson made a really great point the other day. And I had retweeted it and I was trying to find it.

I couldn't find it. But she had said that essentially the, you know, it's a lot of these college, I don't want to, they're college adults, they're young adults, like these people are in their 20s, maybe the youngest amongst them is like 19. But they are weaponized with this. This is what she said, Hamas's copy of the American playbook.

They have created a proxy war in our country. Our youth are their warriors and we're watching it happen in real time. She's not wrong.

She is not incorrect. And these college campuses, part of me thinks that they deserve it because they have coddled this. Look at where all this stuff is happening. It's at, it happened at the most progressive of universities, right? All the Ivy Leagues, UT and Austin. I mean, out of all of the universities in Texas, and it happens at UT, which is the most progressive university in the state of Texas. These places that used to be champions of speech and of thought because if any place is where you were going to push boundaries and ask questions, it was going to be on a college campus.

And now, college campuses have not been how far can you push the envelope in terms of exploration of thought and the exchange of ideals. Now it is all about the hive mind, cultivating a hive mind. That's exactly what it is.

It's Borg. It's not higher education. It's, it's, it's all about cultivating the hive mind.

And if you go against it, then you're targeted. And there have been some students pushing back. I mean, in the funniest ways. We had the banana thing earlier, which is hysterical. You had this guy who was, well, this is how he woke up the pup camp encampment at UCLA.

It was at 430 in the morning. The one thing I couldn't figure out, did they have an actual rooster or was it just a rooster recording? I don't know. Check this out because this is hysterical. This is Tim. Hey, this is not a test. This is rock and roll.

Time to rock it from the Delta to the DMZ. Wake up commies. Wake up.

Wake up. I love it. This guy's a real MVP.

I love it. So he plays like Robin Williams's intro. Good morning, Vietnam. And then he's got that that rooster recording at four in the morning.

Wake up commies. It's so good. That's so good. So there I mean, there have been there was also this audio soundbite 11. And this was I got this off. I saw this. It was a progressive account that tweeted it. And they were saying this guy shouting fat phobic insults. Listen to this.

This is audio soundbite 11. Where's the lie? He's still at first he was like, learn how to tie a tie. And then he was like, go take a walk.

And he's like, eat a salad. That's a polite thing. He's concerned for their health.

He's giving nutrition advice, I think. I mean, I think you know what, that's that's courtesy. That's courtesy for you. That's real. That's manners for you. That's civics for you.

You only give that type of information to people you care about. Yeah, if you if he hated them, he'd be like, go have more, you know, Doritos and Mountain Dew Live Wire. That's what he would tell them. But he's like, No, I'm concerned for your health. Perhaps munch on a salad. Right?

Perhaps nosh on some veggies. That's what he's telling them. He's so polite. What a polite counter protester. I mean, just kind of give some applause to him. That's a good that's a good guy. That's a good guy for you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So at UCLA, I got to set this up. So at UCLA, they had the cops that came out. And there was an old dude there. And if you would just believe the stuff that you saw on social media, oh my gosh, the cops pulled him out. They pulled guns on this old man.

But what was at the old man's feet? I want to play the audio slash video. So if you're listening, you're not going to be able to see but it's a guy and I'll tell you. But if you're watching the simulcast, I want your eagle eyes to maybe point out something on the ground that was in this old dude's possession that maybe just maybe would have made cops think that they had to pull their their guns out. Go ahead and play this audio soundbite 14. Cops are approaching.

There's an old man. Oh, what is that? What is the police officer? What did he just move out of the way, Kane? That dude dropped some loot. Look at that. That is one giant sword. That's a broad sword. He dropped some loot. So they just defeated this miniboss and the cop took it. There is a gem in the handle, it looks like.

Yeah, there's a gem. I'm sure it's plastic. But that sword is like more than half that cop's sword. It's like more than half the cop's height.

He's got a psychos weapon. That's why they drew. That's why. Look, let me tell you guys this. Let me just tell you something.

You cannot. You can't be going at the cops with a sword. All right. That is kind of considered weapon-y. So you may be met with force or they may just draw their guns on you.

You just I mean, that's the way it is. How is it possible that America could run short of amoxicillin? Amoxicillin is like the Swiss Army knife of antibiotics because it treats so many different types of infections. Doctors prescribe it for ear, nose, throat infections, it treats lower respiratory infections, sinusitis, which I've had before, skin infections, UTIs.

So again, how could America run short on it? Antibiotics come from China and India. And if you or a family member gets sick and there's no amoxicillin, now what? So that's why I have a medical emergency kit from the wellness company. I've used it for strep before. It comes with amoxicillin and it's in your kit now when you need it.

So this is not a first aid kit. It's like an urgent care in your house with essential prescriptions. And it comes with those essential prescriptions to treat over 39 medical issues. It's doctor prescribed antibiotics for infections of all types like strep throat, pneumonia, UTIs, bronchitis, so much more. Plus you have a doctor's guide so you know exactly when and how to use each prescription. You've got your medications, no waiting to see the doctor, no lines at the pharmacy, every home should have at least one medical emergency kit.

So order yours online in minutes, and they'll rush it to your door. Get 15% off at TWC.health slash Dana and use promo code Dana. That's promo code Dana at TWC.health slash Dana. And now all of the news you would probably miss.

It's time for Dana's quick five. This is kind of a funny story. So in Japan, a town is building a big screen to block the view of Mount Fuji because they said that they've had it. They've had enough of the tourists.

It's Fuji Kawaguchiko, the town in Japan, known for a number of scenic photo spots that offer a near perfect shot of Japan's iconic Mount Fuji. So they begin constructing a large black screen on a stretch of sidewalk to block the view of the mountain, and they're saying it's because of misbehaving tourists who run out into traffic and do all kinds of stuff and sometimes accidentally trespass on private property. That seems a little bit aggressive. Just got to say a little aggressive. Maybe chill a little bit. Maybe tell people, look, you people, you don't don't run out into the stuff. Don't run out into traffic. You know, if that looks like somebody's house, they'll go in it.

It's not difficult. A fearless monkey gang have torn down anti-monkey protesters in a town terrifying all the residents. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is in Thailand, and they put up protesters all around this this town of Flottbury in Thailand, and they were trying to warn people because these monkeys are mean. They're almost like little Capuchins, but they said that they bite people. They attack them, steal from them. So they put up these signs and the monkeys tore the signs down. I'm not even joking.

They tore them down. I feel like it's almost time for me to share that story with you. I have to share it every now and then for the new people because I engaged in and won a monkey fight. For real, it happened.

True story. China is set to launch a high stakes mission to the moon's hidden side. It's not going to ever happen because it's made in China.

So, I mean, anything for the same. They said the Changi-6 mission is expected to last 53 days. They're going to send a robotic spacecraft on a round trip to the far side of the moon, and they're going to have technically demanding missions that are going to pave the way for an inaugural Chinese crew landing and a base on the lunar South Pole. Never going to happen. Let's see. Also, new humanoid AI robot has learned impressive cooking and cleaning skills faster than a human. I don't know how I feel about that. It's, I mean, it's neat, but also terrifying, right? I don't know how I feel about this. Would you eat food prepared by a robot like that?

I know you kind of are in some ways, like high processed food. Some people are. Two men in New Orleans were sighted after they fought over loose pigs. Gosh, this headline. They got into a fight over some pigs. This was on Friday. The police there said they received a call about pigs blocking the road on Maple Street. Then they got calls claiming two men were fighting in the street in the same area when they got there. 57-year-old Ty Morrison, 57-year-old Michael Sire were fighting over the pigs, which neither of them owned or managed. But they were fighting over them.

Like they each wanted them? Bacon futures. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bacon futures. That's right. That's the way to look at it. Bird flu.

Kane's favorite topic. Everybody's freaking out because there's a Florida dolphin that had the bird flu. There's a bottlenose dolphin. Mutated bird flu. It's 18 times more resistant to drug treatment.

Very conveniently before the election, but it's not a conspiracy. It's a bottlenose dolphin. The latest of the mammals to die from bird flu. Scientists from the University of Florida found this particular bird flu victim. They were notified of a dolphin that appeared to be in distress. And then afterwards, the autopsy revealed a deadly strain of the bird flu. The virus was in the mammals brain and lungs and it mutated 18 times more resistant to current drug treatments. And apparently it's spilling to cows and other mammals. Everyone's saying it's urge, it's getting ever so close to humans, spill over. 18 states have quarantined cows to halt the bird flu spread.

Again, very conveniently before the election, but it's not a conspiracy theory. Yes, Kane. Oh wait, there's more. Wait a minute, there's more.

Hold up, hold up, hold up. Ground beef is to be tested in states with bird flu outbreaks, Kane. The ground beef.

Well, now I have two questions. Hang on, there's more. Federal officials, they're also looking at the safety of milk because they said not only in the ground beef, but also in the milk. 39 dairy cattle herds in nine states and they said they found the H5N1 virus. But wait, there's more.

I know. They're also saying stop drinking the unpasteurized milk. Because if you're drinking the unpasteurized milk, you could get the bird flus.

It's happening. The bird flus will get you. How does humanity survive without pasteurizing their milk for centuries? The early FDA tests say, oh, oh, they're now. They didn't detect the live infectious virus, but there's some of the bird flus in it. All right, is there any more?

Because I do have a couple questions. They said the positive so-called PCR tests in milk can happen as a result of harmless fragments, but it's the bird flus. The PCR tests? You mean those tests that if too many cycles happen, it's just going to pop up something bad anyway? But it's the assessed retail samples from a study of 297 samples, and it's the bird flus in milk. Everyone's going to die.

Okay, Cain, what was your question? All right, my question is, how the hell does a dolphin get bird flus? Where did it get it from? Did it get it from another fish? Did it get it from maybe octopodes? Some, I don't know, stingray? Yeah, because they don't really jump out and get birds, do they? Yeah, I'm not sure how that happens. And then, did the dolphin come in contact with the cow in order for the beef to be a problem?

And, of course, the milk. I mean, there's theories, none of which makes sense. Is it just flu that's flying around like birds? Well, a bird does fly. Thus, the past sense is bird flu.

So a bird flu would have the attribute, the flu would have bird attributes? Is that a word to believe? Maybe it's a whole new thing. I mean, they're really trying to warn everyone, guys. It may be where we've got to shut all the, I mean, very convenient after Bill Gates started buying up all this land. I'm not a conspiracy theory. I'm the one state they know they don't have a chance at unless they get mail-in voting.

Florida, that's weird. Now, Juan brings up a very good question in Slack. Juan asks, what happened to the monkey pox? Right.

Because remember, hold on. Sorry, it's impox. Oh, wait. It's impox.

Is that? Impox. Oh, man.

It's taking everything I have not to, now you guys know where, it sounds like a handsome song. Impox bit the background. But it's monkey pox. They decided to call it impox because they said that it was ignorant to call it monkey pox. I want to know where the monkey pox comes from. The people who will not stop having, but being giant whores, specifically gay whores. I'm just saying that's literally, look, let me read it. This is the World Health Organization. They call it impox because apparently monkey pox is mean to the gay dudes that are getting it.

Are there any? Well, hold on. Impox can spread through close contact of any kind, including through kissing, touching, oral and penetrative, you know, with the copulatory organs of respective people, with someone who is infectious. People who have romantical times with multiple or new partners are at most risk. So it's offensive to whores?

It's people who have a lot of and they won't stop. I think my mic was open. You guys didn't hear me. You guys didn't hear me. I think the public heard that. You didn't hear? Pretty sure. No, I don't think they did.

I covered my mouth too because apparently we have some very astute lip readers out there. Look at you guys. Impox doesn't have anything to do with dolphins, does it?

I'm really hoping not. Did someone anally rape a dolphin? Oh, my gosh.

Really? You asked it. I didn't.

I just. You realize this is all Juan's fault. I didn't know if it was a crossover type thing to dolphins. We're talking about the bird flu and now they're talking about the anal rape of dolphins. It's where we are. We have Florida man next. Let's just go to break. Is it?

Do we though? What if there's an Impox story about that? You know, because the dolphin was a Florida dolphin. It's time for commercials. Just saying.

It was a Florida dolphin. They're going to try to push me, but I'm going to drag it out. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lashes' Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.