Absurd Truth: Biden's Hotel Bathroom Ramble

It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man.

All right, so we got to talk about this guy immediately. This sounds like I swear this was an Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode, I think. A Clearwater Beach tour boat captain was so drunk on the job that he fell off the boat, say police. He had 30 customers on board, and apparently he was so liquored up, he done fell in the water. John Beckwith was arrested Friday on a charge of boating under the influence.

And the captain for Clearwater Fund Boat Tours had 30 customers on board. And he was so impaired, say witnesses, that he fell off the boat. When Clearwater police arrived, Beckwith was apparently, he said, stumbling and had food all over his face via the arrest report.

His eyes were bloodshot. And he smelled like a, he smelled like a can of beer. They said he performed poorly on a sobriety test and blew 0.118 on a breathalyzer. So yeah, he was drunk, he drunk. He's been convicted in Michigan and Arizona for DUI twice in Michigan, one for extreme DUI in Arizona, which I didn't even know they had that classification. This is his fourth charge for operating any kind of like vehicle while impaired. And so I don't know, the tour boat company didn't say, it hasn't given a comment, but I'd imagine that he not with them anymore.

You know, I'm just gonna say just, you know. Here's one reason why you need Patriot Mobile. Florida man's trip overseas ended up with $143,000 phone bill. A T-Mobile customer of 30 years said he alerted the carrier of his travel plans, as he always does.

But apparently, when they said you're covered, it didn't mean that. They said that they were touring, where were they at? They were, oh, Swiss Alps. Or no, wait, no, they jumped high on the Swiss Alps. They were in Switzerland. Yeah, they did go to Swiss Alps. They were in Switzerland.

And apparently they were there three weeks. And when they got back, because he sent pictures and messages and stuff. He thought it said $143. And it was $143,000 for using 9.5 gigabytes of data while overseas.

And because it was roaming, it costs 1000s of dollars every day. So he called T-Mobile and this Florida man. And she said, No, it's a good bill. And he said, What do you mean it's a good bill?

And she goes, It's what you owe. So they're still apparently dealing with it. He had called and said that they were traveling and apparently that he wasn't covered. So again, this is why you should switch to Patriot Mobile because I've never had a $143,000 phone bill. Because and and they're all it takes like two seconds to be like, Hey, I'm in Italy, or I'm overseas somewhere. Yeah, I know.

It's been super and I never had that problem. Of course, you know, I don't have a completely derelict communist phone company either. So there you go. Let's see. Oh, do I want the guy who steals golf carts, like all the golf carts? Or do I want the guy who stole an Elvis do the guys decided to steal the Elvis jacket. He swiped a pricey Elvis jacket from the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. And it was apparently Elvis is $11,670 jacket and it has not yet been recovered. What? What?

So apparently the guy has a rap sheet. And I was in. I was in the motel after the local motel getting changed after the afternoon session, go back to the session.

I come down with some young activists through a little older than me, but still young activists who were involved in trying to reform the party. And I was in one of those eight by 10 bathrooms, you know, they have shower toilet in the sink. And I got a towel on me and shaving cream. And I hear bam, bam, bam at my door.

Really loudly. And when I went to hell with that, I thought of this guy, Bob Cunningham, on a radio show and a couple of the guys. I said, okay, okay, guys. And I walked to the door and open up and standing there was the former governor of the state of Delaware, Albert M. Carville, big guy, about 6'5", talked at you like this. And the state representative got defeated four years earlier as a Democratic state rep who was retired.

And one of the, from the family, they had more senators appointed than any other family in American history to the tunnels and the former retired justice and the state chairman. And they said, I'm standing in a towel, shaving cream on my face. They saw it. Yeah. Trying to figure out how I'm going to set the, we were just like, we don't know, we're just going to play it for the people. And I, you guys are all like, what?

That was President Biden. And I've never done drugs. But is that what it feels like when you're trying to figure out what is happening? And you're just like in this fog of like confusion and what, and you don't feel anything else because it's so confusing. Is that, that's, I imagine that's what it's like.

That's what we, it's pretty damn close. Okay, well, Wednesday. That's, there you go, guys.

That's the show. Goodbye. Goodbye. Have a great day.

Good night, everybody. That was the President of the United States. Why was he telling, I'm trying to, first, I've so, I'm made of questions right now. It's a weird news day. There's several stories that we're following. There's, there's one big story that I wrote about last night.

There's several stories that we're following. And there's a bunch of weird stuff. Like what is, it's, it's the eclipse. You know what it is?

It's the damn CIA. I'm telling you what it is. So welcome to the show. It's your very confused, still lovable, but a curmudgeon nonetheless, Dana Lash with you here at the top of this first hour. And I am still just trying to figure out what I just heard. And me reading the transcript is not helping. It makes it actually worse. If I'm being honest about it, I'm, it makes it worse. How many times did you reread that last half?

I still don't understand it. He, do you know something? Someone was talking this morning, and apparently they're actually doing, I'm not joking. They're apparently doing, oh, gosh, inter-party surveying on this.

So it's not like it's something they're going to release everybody. But apparently, whenever he goes out and talks to anybody, he does badly. It doesn't go well for him.

It's just bad. He's just, he actually runs voters away. And that's making it really difficult for his campaign and the people in his campaign to campaign with him and to try to attract voters. So they're, they're, they're keeping him shut up. I know that they are, they've been trying to get these debates going. And I think all of the news networks are like, oh, wow, we just realized that this is, this could be a ratings bonanza for them. This is where you're going to see the media get ignorant. Because if you don't give the media what it wants, they're going to get you. If you don't, they want eyeballs. They need something to sell their ads on. They have ad time.

They need people to buy it. It's an election year. And if they're not going to get this debate, then you're going to, I would imagine you're going to start seeing some negative coverage happen. If they don't get this debate. Democrats are going to have to concede this and they're going to have to at least have one debate, one debate at least. So I don't know, it looks worse, though. The more Biden speaks, there was a Politico piece this morning. I don't know if you saw those. And it's literally called, has Biden considered having an Iran strategy?

And it's not a good, it's a very unflattering piece because it portrays him as, I mean, it's just bad. As Juan says, they better get Hunter's Coke ready. He's going to need something. Go ahead and get, yeah, have Hunter teach him. Probably already did.

Actually, who taught Hunter? That's a bigger question. So they write that, literally, this is a sentence in Politico, which by the way, will run Democrat Oppo. It's just like their articles, quote, but for most of Biden's time as president, his aides number one goal hasn't been to solve this puzzle, but to keep it off the president's desk. They said that the strategy is to keep it low boil on all fronts. Uh, clearly these people have never been in a kitchen.

Tell me that you've never cooked anything without telling me that you've never cooked anything. Keeping it at a low boil on, Cain, did it look like a low boil with the drones and the, you know, the missiles and stuff that Iran was throwing over Israel's way? That'd be the definition of boiling over. Yeah, actually that would be.

Yeah, that would be the very definition of boiling over. I mean, they, they can't pretend this away. Oh, it's just so bad. I mean, the Politico piece is, I'm sorry, I'm still trying to get over that soundbite.

That was the dumbest thing I've ever heard. It's one thing when you read the transcript and you're preparing or nationally syndicated radio program and you're like, okay, I just, I'm reading the transcript cause I've, there's a bunch of other audio I was looking at and I'm like, oh this, it's Biden. It's, you know, yeah, it's crazy.

Of course it's going to be crazy. It's another thing when you hear it live. And you're, you're listening to it and you, you're, I mean that guy literally has control of the nuke button. I'm sorry.

I'm going to move on cause dude, gosh. But they said that Biden has political rights. He has no strategy for Iran. He has, well, wait, I take that back.

Yes, he does. Don't. Well, what do you mean don't? Uh-uh. What do you mean uh-uh?

No. Okay, well what's no? Don't.

Okay, let's, we're back to don't. Um, can you elaborate? Uh-uh.

Super effective. It's, I, I, I don't know. That's his, that's his strategy.

That has been his strategy. Now what that entails, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what that entails. Yeah, he doesn't either. And neither does anyone. They're just like, maybe that'll suffice.

That's what the left thinks sounds like a hard ass response. They think that. Meanwhile, I'm going to tell you what, I will tell you this. I don't care where you stand on Trump. Heaven knows that I have my critiques.

Heaven knows. I don't care. I don't care about the mean tweets. Have you seen me tweet? I don't care about them. Okay.

I don't care. I reveled in the fact that there was a guy, we had a guy in the White House who everyone else, all the other foreign leaders, including, let's be real, our allies, were terrified of. Not because, I don't think it's because they thought he was a brilliant strategist. I don't think that it's because they thought that he really understood the lay of the land and the geopolitical area. I think it's because they knew if you ticked him off and aggravated him enough, oh my God, he'd probably press that button on you.

And that scared them half to death. I mean, you had Shortstack down there in the Pacific, in North Korea, who was terrified to do anything because Trump would say, I'm going to rain rockets down on you. I mean, he would just tweet it.

He didn't focus. He would just tweet it. And it for sure freaked out the Pentagon and the Department of Defense, but it terrified every other leader. So they were like, well, let's maybe just chill for a little bit because he actually might be nuts enough to do it. Oh, no, he is nuts enough to do it.

I mean, it's fascinating. As Cain said, peace through unpredictable strength. So I would take that over, don't, and then trying to walk off the stage, but you don't know where to go because you're barely sentient. I would really I want the I want the everyone's terrified of us because the Americans have a crazy leader.

I want that again, because that was peace, right? Like that's nobody really wanted to do anything. I mean, sure, they might rattle the saber, but they're not really going to do anything because who knows? He may be mad about it while he's eating breakfast at Mar-a-Lago and press the button. They don't know. So to me, Cain, that's a strategy.

Yeah, I just I really that's that's a strategy. Oh, my gosh. I haven't talked much about the Trump trial and all that because I just I don't care. And you guys are besieged with it. You guys have cable news covering it wall to wall like it's a little Jessica that fell in the well.

You guys covered enough. Juan and Steve have no idea what I just said, Cain. That was the first time sidebar for a minute. Humor me that I think that was like the first time that it was real time everyone was following along. And you know that if Twitter existed back then, it would have been well experts and baby Jessica's and experts, right?

It would have been Yeah, you would have had a whole bunch of well experts as that little girl that fell down the well in Texas. I was in elementary school when it happened. And I remember watching it.

It was just wall to wall coverage. And it was a big thing. And they finally got her out of the well. She was trapped in there for like two days. Something crazy.

She fell in the well in her backyard playing. It was a big thing. Big ordeal. Wall to wall coverage. The first time it predates O.J., predates all of that. It was the first time wall to wall coverage. And everyone was just obsessed with baby Jessica in the well.

Two days straight. I mean Oprah did a thing on it. It was everywhere. And cable news is really treating the trials kind of like baby Jessica in the well. So you're kind of like, wow, what else is happening?

I mean, I get it. The LA riots were like that too, but that happened after. So yeah, baby Jessica in the well was like the first time that really, can you imagine the insufferability of Twitter if it had been around then?

Jiminy Christmas. We probably had a civil war a lot earlier. I'm just saying, well, I'm an expert on a well. No, you're not.

Your parents had a well. Shut up. So, it's true.

I feel seen, right? It's the folks at Kel-Tec. And you guys are very familiar with the Sub 2K.

We've talked about it for months and months now. The Sub 2K, which is a 9mm carbine. They make a lot of stuff.

But the Sub 2K right now, this is Gen 3. So there's an update. They made some updates to it.

They've got some upgrades. And one of the upgrades, you can still fold it in half. They didn't do away with that. I mean, yes, you can still do gun origami. It's a twist and fold motion of that patent-pending rotating forearm, but you can keep your optics on.

That's the difference. Because previously you had to take everything off, detach it to fold it in half. You do not have to do that now with the Gen 3. And it just as quickly and easily deploys as well. And they've also upgraded the aluminum trigger. It's a redesigned mechanic, so it's a lightened 5-pound pull. They've upgraded action. Redesigned operating handle for added comfort. Lightened action for easy racking.

You've got an ambidextrous bolt hold open. All provides improved manipulation. They have a new chamber indicator.

Now, it's not a replacement for standard safety, but it helps operating it. And also, made in America, right there in Florida. Florida-based, family-run, owned and operated Kel-Tec. So you've got to check them out. That's Kel-Tec weapons.

K-E-L-T-E-C weapons dot com. Tell them Dana sent you. And now, all of the news you would probably miss.

It's time for Dana's Quick 5. Oh, here's a tax mystery, says Politico. Why are fewer people getting refunds? Why are we paying anything at all to the federal government? Why are we paying for the welfare of the federal Stasi, a.k.a.

the NPR people? Anyway, Politico goes, oh, the number of people who owe the government's also been rising. If you're not getting a tax refund, they say that you're not alone. It's slower every year and the number of people getting their money back is shrinking. Yes, but the government keeps taking more and more of our money while spending more and more and more, spending us into a hole in the ground. We're going to be entirely owned by China who keeps buying our debt.

This is insane. The market fear signals are flashing red as stocks pull back from record highs via CNBC. They report that this is, I mean, well, it's been kind of a roller coaster lately, but it's not looking good. We've been talking about, you know, we had the CPI numbers last week. We've been talking about interest rates now are not going to be cut because the CPI numbers, none of it's good.

This, half of the Iranian missiles launched at Israel were apparently duds and nearly all of the rest were taken out by the US and I think even Saudi has shot them down. Interesting. I told you, remember they were like the Photoshop thing that they did the last time? Also, this is tech executive predicts a billion dollar AI girlfriend industry. I didn't have time to totally get into this last time, but they say it's the girlfriend singularity and it's here.

AI girlfriends. Let's go touch grass. Yeah, go touch grass.

Literally go touch grass there. They're trying to make it. I get the group that's doing it that owns Tinder and all these other things.

Apparently they're, I would imagine they're trying to try to pattern it like that to have like AI dating and that is the saddest thing I think I've ever read in my, we are literally going towards like a futuristic hellscape. All of the horror films that about stuff in the future apparently was all real. I immediately went and looked at my Millennium Falcon.

I'm not gonna lie. $850 Millennium Falcons and $680 Titanic Legos. Legos are the old stuff actually you can get a lot of money for if it's if it's either I think all put together or if it's still in the box. But they said now this is Legos are cementing the popularity of them, the Danish company that does it. It's like they're apparently the world's biggest toy maker by sales now. That's wild. And they're actually charging that much for some of these kits. Now you know like nobody's nine year old is putting that together.

That's a grown adult doing that. Now I brought this up on the show because I brought this up, like in our slack discussions because you know, considering it's very important to the left, the left wants to know the backgrounds of everyone on every single program. Well, according to the left, apparently everyone on the show is also a white or all white adjacent, you know. But for Kane and Wan, do I have to you're Latine now?

Hell no. Well, that's what it says Latine. That's what the the new so hold on.

The new woke scolds are saying that. Oh, well, it's um, instead of Latinx. It's Latine now.

I feel like that's gonna get you kicked in the neck. Teen Vogue actually did a whole thing. Latine? Latine Vogue?

It's one hour away from a toilet, man. Latine, Latrine. That seems really offensive. Just why?

They are struggling so bad. You're gonna have to rewrite the whole Latin, all the Latin based languages, because of the male female nouns. And the wording, you're gonna have to rewrite languages.

But Latine? When I saw that the first thing, everyone's like, Okay, why are you calling me a toilet? Everyone? Why? Why my toilet? What I mean that it's made that I think people are getting tired of this stuff.

Why do you have to change? And what is it supposed to mean? Is it if you're like, a gay Latin person, Latine? Or is it supposed to signify something? Look, it's a binary language.

They're just going to have to get over it. They're trying to wipe out the idea of male female. So they hate the Latin languages that actually in the spelling and wording and the way you speak the languages indicate a binary gender system, and they just can't stand it. I still don't even know how to pronounce Latinx or is it Latinx?

I just now thought I think maybe we've been saying it. It's Latinx. I don't think the Latinx is the way to say it. Latinx. It's not spelled L-A-T-I-N-X. I think the way to say it is to not at all. Also with this, not at all say it.

Not at all. Latinx. Are you Latine or Latinx? I'm Latinx.

Do you ever, sidebar, I've been to a couple places where I actually left my old allergist and went to a new allergist because they had a new form and it asked me what my gender preference was. And I'm like, blank this blank. And I'm like, here you go. I'm out. I left. I didn't even stay. Screw you.

I'm a joy to deal with. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I did write something on the form. I was shocked that at least they didn't put it up on the town's Facebook page.

I'm shocked. Because I have my name on it. And I did put something on the form because they were like, what is your preferred? And it said, it was male, female, non-binary, and then it had different alphabet stuff. I mean, there were 13 some odd choices.

I can't even deal. What happened to just other? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, because that was at the very bottom. No, it didn't say other. It said, it said, prefer not to answer. Like, you can't tell.

And then there was one that said other, but it was a line. I can't say what I put on there. I really can't. I'll so get fined. But I thought after, after I like, handed it to them, and I was like, here you go. And then I just left. I realized, oh, I have my name on the top of it. Well, there you go. So I'm just waiting for that.

I'm telling you all now, so no one can use it as blackmail on me later. I just, well, that's so stupid. And like a doc, it's an allergist, but a doctor's office, a doctor's office for the love. So I went to my new, my new doctor, my new allergist, and he don't play like that. He's like, yeah, that's all stupid.

And he's actually a good allergist that actually solves problems, solves allergy issues like cedar fever. But why, why the need for all that? Why? I mean, it's, it's nobody cares. Nobody cares unless you're going to a specific doctor for your bits, then you should just be scientifically accurate so that, you know, you're not telling the doctor to treat issues for things you don't even got. Like if I need stitches or if I need something because of a stomach bug or whatever, I, that whole question of my gender doesn't matter. Just give me stitches. Just give me the medicine. But everybody's got a virtue signal. See, we're down with the mental illness. That's what they got to do. They got a virtue signal. We're crazy too.

They got a virtue signal about it. It's so asinine. It just, it's just, you can't even, you can't even go anywhere. Can't even go anywhere. Thanks for tuning into today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.