Absurd Truth: Calendar Freakout

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions.

It's time for Florida Man. Okay, so I have a couple of things here, including this. Oh, boy.

There's several. So first up, this is a woman who flipped off a deputy and then yelled, I hate the police, while driving erratically, which I'm sure made the police go, we shouldn't pursue her. She's just an ordinary citizen living her best life. Let's leave her alone, right?

That's how that usually goes. She flipped off this deputy and screamed, I hate police. Darla V. Dahl, 35, was arrested on one felony count of resisting an officer and one misdemeanor count of resisting an officer, according to Monroe County Sheriff's Office. It was just like 2.30 on Saturday of this weekend, and the police saw her driving like a mad person. They said she was like driving a car in the grass, like cutting across like the grass in the middle of like the lanes and that and speeding down boulevard. She did not stop.

She kept swerving away from the road onto the grass. And then when they tried to pull her over, she stuck her arm out the window and gave the middle finger and then screamed, I hate the police. And she refused to stop. They finally, she also told deputies to shoot her. Yeah, they ended up they did stop her. And they did take her into custody, as you can imagine. I mean, they're just not going to let you go. Okay, well, I guess we're gonna leave you alone now.

That's not how that works. A Florida man was arrested for making a bomb threat at a Page Field Airport. Well, that never goes over well. This was on Thursday in Fort Myers. He was arrested.

It was at the Page Field Airport in South Fort Myers. And according to Lee County Port Authority, he was driving a pickup truck, white Dodge pickup. He drove into the base operations around seven, made a verbal bomb threat and then fled the scene. He went up to the clerk and said he wanted to make a noise complaint because he was mad that he said the aircraft was flying over his home and spraying chemicals. And he said he knew it was this airport because he was tracking the plane. And then he asked the clerks that they knew about the FBI building that blew up. And then he goes, if the plane doesn't stop flying over my house, you're going to be next. And then he got in his truck and drove away. So they, I mean, they followed up and they said he faces charges of making false reports concerning planes, you know, explosive device, etc. So they took him into custody. Yeah, you can't, you can't do this. So you know, you can like call and just register a complaint. You don't have to go there and tell them you're going to bomb the place.

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I put the link up on Instagram. So I did this calendar with ultra ripe, ultra ripe beer. And I always look I, I am in shape, I'm healthy. But at the same time, I also have a like, you know, sons, I have kids, and I have kids.

I have kids and I have a husband. So I'm like, if other women who are I think, single and not yet married, if they want to get in swimsuits, and they want to do a calendar that celebrates women, that's fine. I'm going to hold my guns, I'm going to be in a t shirt and jeans. And that was my particular that was my particular choice. And I had no problem appearing in a calendar with other women who were celebrating female dumb. And it's all pretty women in the calendar. And it was done to help the Riley Gaines Center and the ultra ripe beer people did it. And it's, you know, it's a nice calendar. And I actually signed one for someone over the weekend, I've signed people, someone sent it in, I signed it, and it's going, I think all the the women in the calendar signing it.

And this thing came out, what was it four or five months ago, this calendar came out. And people have been mad about it. And by people, I mean, like, I've only seen one person ever complain about it. And I don't want to get into, I'm not going to get into like a battle with people and all of this stuff. Particularly when you wouldn't want to battle with me. I still hold a grudge for having to have been called into HR by a previous employer for trying to settle a dispute that someone who likes to complain a lot caused with all of the other women at the workplace. And I hate this is why I hate dealing with women in the workplace.

And they were I was begged, please mediate this situation, please, for the love, calm it down. I just think that there are some people who always I cannot stand people who'd make a career out of bitching about everything all the time. That's not commentary. That's just complaining.

That's just being a professional complainer. So this calendar when it came out, you know, for some odd months ago, I thought that it was tastefully done. There's not anything that's slutty in there. There's not anything that's, you know, advocating for promiscuity or drug use or alcoholism or anything like that. That's in this calendar. And it's a calendar that was done by people on the right. It was never done. So that to be a church statement, or a faith statement, a statement of faith was never it was not done. And I don't think anything honestly, I don't have a problem.

And I don't think anything cancels out one or the other. If you have a problem with women in swimsuits, don't ever let me see you in one. Don't ever let me see you going to a place where women are in swimsuits. If you want to be Sharia adjacent, and you want to try to shame women, because they were asked to be in a calendar and you weren't, that's your problem, not theirs. And that's ultimately what this is. The New York Times and Daily Mail ran this huge story over the weekend, saying that it was raunchy. They attacked yours truly and all the other women in the calendar based on the complaints of like, I can't again, it's like one person. And I always do find it ironic that people who complain about other women while taking selfies of themselves, because they think they look good, and they want other people to acknowledge that they look good in their selfie.

And so they posted far and wide. You know, if you want to have a discussion about irony, and compromising one's beliefs. And I think that also insinuating that women who participated in the calendar are somewhat loose, or they're raunchy, or they are in some way betraying their faith.

If you want to be a modern day Pharisee, go right ahead. But I don't think that your accusations or the motivations are in any way based in any kind of, you know, they're not biblically based. And I also think that it's not the Matthew way of solving disputes. That being said, I think it's all stupid. I think it's petty. I think it's just people who were mad that they weren't asked to be in a calendar, and they're attacking women who were.

And that's usually what this stuff boils down to. There's enough clout out there for everyone without other women trying to tear down other women. This is I don't get along with a lot of women because of that. It is there are there are a few women in this industry, particularly, and I can name them right now that I like and I think that are they they understand that there is not some sort that there's not a quota on influence or space at the table or there's there's there's you don't have to compete to be heard like that. And there are one of them, my friend Carol Roth and I were talking about this over the weekend, Carol Roth is absolutely one of the women who gets it.

Love Carol Roth. Megan Kelly is one of the women who gets it. Mary Catherine Ham is one of the women who gets it. Liker or hater, Meghan McCain is one of the women who gets it. There are there are some really good ladies out there. Judge Jeanine is one of the women who gets it. There's some really, really good ladies out there who understand that there is not some sort of scarcity of attention or clout, and they don't have to tear down other women in order to lift themselves up. It's a tactic that feminists use.

They think that they tear down men to lift themselves up, which is why it's incredibly ironic to see anybody who's in the conservative sphere do that. There's nothing wrong with this calendar. And my husband was the one who actually said, Yeah, I think you should do this. This seems like it's a good idea.

I think it's a good idea. I don't have anything to be concerned about. My husband doesn't have anything to be concerned about. And these ladies, some of the ladies are married, some of them aren't. Some of them are single, some of them aren't.

Some of them have kids, some of them aren't. There's nothing wrong with a woman being in a swimsuit. I mean, there's there's there's nothing wrong with a calendar celebrating femaledom. I don't know if you've seen some of these articles but they're trying to now divide the right and say, what what was the what was one of them?

The New York Times said that it was raunchy like the raunchy riot or something like that. They've been calling me all kinds of names for firearms forever. If I don't want to say anything, I'm going to say anything. If I wear a t-shirt, I get attacked. If I wear jeans, I get attacked. When I cut my hair, I was accused of having extensions.

I've been accused of having a boob job, plastic surgery, hair extensions, cane, name it. Lip filler. Everything. Yeah. Yeah. I've been accused of having my face frozen, which is weird because I can move it.

Huh? Wigs. Wigs. Wigs.

No one's ever accused me of actually having a wig. I've seen that. Oh, you have? Oh, yeah. That's a new one. Yeah. I've been accused of all these things that I've never done, and I'm like, whatever.

I've never done this. And it's mostly from the jealous, petty left. But to see it come up from the right is really disappointing. But the New York Times, they were saying the raunchy right. What was it? The Daily Mail was trying to say that the right was having a problem with these women, etc., etc. Again, it's a created clout-chasing tantrum that the media is seizing up on and trying to make into a bigger thing than it is into something that it's not.

Four months after the fact. And it was a jealous, petty leftist lady over at the New York Times who wrote the piece. She never reached out to any of us. She didn't reach out to any of us and ask us a question.

She didn't ask us if we would like to submit a comment on her hit piece on us, on our characters. And I got to tell you, and this is where I'm really going to get snotty, it is very difficult for me, a woman who's older, to take criticism about how I or other ladies live my life when they haven't raised children as successfully as I have. And they don't have a 23-year, going on 24-year successful marriage like I do.

So when you can match me in terms of my homemaking skills and my successful marriage skills and my mothering skills, then maybe I'll consider your opinion. But if you cannot match me year for year, have a million seats. And scene. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. So AMC clinches a deal with NBC to show live Olympics coverage in theaters. Boy, I'm so excited about that, aren't you? Listen to the joy and excitement in my voice.

Are you excited about that, Cain? You want to go into a theater and watch the Olympics in the theater with all the commercials in the theater? With the big popcorns and the big sodas? You can do that at home. The big popcorns?

I'm the mom who's like, we got that at home. Yeah. Theater popcorns? You can make theater popcorn at home. Yeah, I know. They have to do it old school, but you can do it. Kettle corn?

You ever do that at home? Yeah. It's good stuff. They said that they're very excited about it. NBC Universal, they're going to present it as a live ticketed event. So you could watch it for free at home, or you could pay to go and watch it in a theater with all the commercials. Gee, that sounds fun.

Nobody said nobody ever. What is this? What is this? Wall Street Journal.

Kane sent this, and I hate him for it now. The headline? What if a toe spacer were enough to boost your fitness sidebar? You know, we got feet enthusiasts out there who watch. I'm not even kidding you. I never put pictures of anything below ankle.

I swear to you, because there have been some weird things that have happened. They're going to seize on this conversation now. These goofy things that apparently you put on your feet to space your toes out, they said are becoming a trendy tool for elite athletes.

Says who? Why does the person's feet look like they're hefty? I'm curious.

They're toe spacers. Anything to sell something, anything to make a buck. That's so nasty. A shopper was banned from Buc-ee's because he brought his service duck into the Tennessee store.

I thought this was America. His service duck. Wrinkle the duck.

His name's Wrinkle. It was in a stroller. The duck was in a stroller. His service pet Wrinkle the duck was brought into a Buc-ee's, and Wrinkle was inside the stroller for most of the visit. He would come out to high five interested onlookers, oh sorry, her, with her beak. You should have named her Wrinkleette or something, I don't know. It has its own YouTube thing, 2.7 million subscribers. When an employee said that service dogs were the only animals allowed, Wood said well she's a service duck, and they said pets are not allowed, and he goes well she's a service animal, and then he was asked to prove it.

I don't know how you prove that, but yeah. And so the employee said if you put the duck on a leash it would be okay, and he put Wrinkle on an imaginary leash, and the duck followed him all around the store. The duck was in the stroller. I actually have no problem with the duck.

I think this is just all something over, and now I want one. Let's see here, oh let's go to, where's the, okay, there is a correct way of hanging the toilet paper roll, and the toilet paper is supposed to go over. How do I know this? Because they actually have the patent for this whole setup. It came out, it was published on the internet several years ago, showing that the toilet paper front facing is the correct way. Behind it is not the correct way.

So I've always been on team toilet paper in the front. That's how it's done. So that is the exact correct way. So now there's a story out saying yes, this is the correct way to do it. And again, it was the, you could see the actual patent, and the patent shows how it's supposed to be. It's not even a debate, not a debate.

Guess what guys? Putin won quote unquote reelection. It's easy to win reelection when you like kill everybody. Was it close? Yeah, it was like he ended up getting almost 90% of the vote.

Wow. Real close one there, huh? Real tough election. Yeah, they said, yeah, he got over, well, it was almost 88% of the vote. Nail biter.

Yeah, such a nail biter. This is his fifth term. He was elected first to all about 20 years ago in late 1999. He is going to be Russia's longest serving leader since Catherine the Great.

He served even longer than Stalin. Now there's a tagline for you. So now we have Gaza, everything's gay today. Now we've got Gaza gate. Did you guys see this video?

Oh boy. So this dude who is an activist in Gaza, he is, is this like a, the best way that I can describe it is he's like reviewing the contents of what the air and it wasn't just the United States. I don't think we should have had any part in it, but apparently Egypt and Jordan also dropped stuff over. They were doing airdrops to Gazans because Hamas, their terrorist elected government that said they were going to take care of the people and never did and still enjoy overwhelming popularity and were reelected and were elected in 2005 and almost reelected again and almost took control of West Bank. They apparently can't provide this to Gazans themselves because well, because they've been taking it all for themselves.

So the airdrops, they were dropping like what food and other supplies into Gaza. And this dude decides to review it. That's it's a review, right? It's a review of the contents of this.

Listen to this. This is audio soundbite 14. So as the airdrops have been dropped in the north, I've been able to buy this today from the northern, northern, northern part of Israel. That's where most of the airdrop has been dropped. And it's from the Department of Defense, United States of America. This is the airdrop.

They drop on us, this small, and then all the airstrikes that they also hit us with. So I wondered what's in it. It comes for free, but at the end, we still have to buy it, let's see what's in it. So it starts with the top, crackers, and then apple, applesauce. And then, oh, wow, gum, what's this? This is like some, I don't know, you don't see these here. Energy bar.

This is the most thing I'm excited to have. Fence vanilla, wow, cashews, so nuts, peanut butter. So overall, it's one of the worst meals I've ever had. I literally ate a piece of everything because, you know, imagine I'm fasting all day, hungry, haven't eaten anything. And then I came to eat this, nothing tastes good, only the peanut butter tastes like our Canadian peanut butter. Everything else.

So he's Canadian. This whole meal is like a two out of 10. Not even a one out of 10, actually. This is torturing us more than it's being ate. I promise you, dude, it can't torture us, all of the rest of us, any more than your video can. I mean, I feel tortured by your video. I feel like I need to make an appeal to the people behind the Geneva Convention, even though I know it doesn't cover terrorism, but your video was terrorism. That's so stupid. I'm so sorry, Princess, that it wasn't, you know, the style of Ruth's Chris.

I was expecting a porterhouse steak and, you know, I was expecting a filet mignon, medium rare, with maybe some béarnaise. And I didn't get that in my MRE that was dropped from, what does he say he had to pay for it? He's not in Gaza.

I guess he's in Canada right now. So he would have to have bought, he would have to have bought that. But if they're dropping it on the ground in Gaza, you could just pick it up unless you have to pay Hamas to get it. Do you know how that works? So if Hamas is collecting it and then charging you for it, that's your problem with Hamas. Notice how he doesn't actually qualify that or explore that beyond his initial comment. So he's reviewing the food.

What did he think that there were going to, there was going to be like a Gordon, like Gordon Ramsay was going to be up in the sky just cooking stuff to order and dropping it down? Maybe you should have thought about that before Gazans elected a terrorist organization as their representative government in 2006. Maybe you should have thought of that. Maybe you should have thought of that before you kept supporting them.

And then they enjoyed overwhelming support to the point where they suspended elections because everyone was worried that they were going to take over the West Bank. Maybe you wouldn't be eating an energy bar. Can you imagine complaining about that while there are children in parts of the world that are actually starving to death and going hungry and they don't have the luxury of having food, you know, high caloric food dropped off from the air for them to eat? Imagine being this guy wearing an expensive puffer coat and a New Balance hat and sitting there with your dumb ass iPhone and recording how you are displeased with the free food provided to you by the government that the elected terrorist government doesn't like. Imagine being that privileged and out of touch.

Or imagine doing this interview and not knowing or doing this review and not knowing. Imagine doing it and not knowing what our men and women in uniform eat when they're overseas, when they're deployed. They eat MREs. That's what they eat. They eat that pretty routinely. He had French vanilla in that.

You know how broke a lot of people in the United States are? They can't even afford French vanilla and you're getting it for free in a taxpayer funded food case? And gum. Yeah, you get gum? You get, you know how expensive cashews are?

You know how expensive nuts are? He's getting that? That's going in that food pouch?

Good night. Now he's all mad. He's mad because he was expecting, I don't know, I guess a, you know, four star meal.

He was expecting Michelin grade. War has consequences and so do terrorists. But he says that that food was more torture than it was aid. Nothing could be. Well, there are a few things, but it's not more torturous than having to watch that video. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.