Absurd Truth: Exit Stage SXSW

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Guys, isn't this a happy Gilmore plot?

Okay. A massive alligator attacked a Florida Man fishing in a golf course pond. Quote, took his hand off. A man is in the hospital following a gator attack that happened Sunday afternoon in Leesburg, Florida. The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission estimates the gator's length to be approximately nine feet.

The man was fishing in a pond, Pinbrook Fairways, when the gator attacked him, biting off his hand. A witness spoke to Fox Channel 35, saw the whole thing play out in his backyard. He said, quote, while the guy was on the ground, the gator got the guy in the hand and the two rolled. The wife called 911, Lake County Fire Rescue released the calls. And it sounds like total chaos.

People stopped in their golf cart. Someone screamed, hand is gone, hand is gone. He was reeling in a fish. I mean, there's literally a sign that says beware of the alligator. Even if there isn't a sign, just be aware that in Florida, even if it's a puddle the size of a shoe print, there's a gator in it. Do you know when we were, the last time I was in Florida, like in Florida, not just passing through, leaving the airport, and it was on a tram going to baggage claim or whatever, and I never check a bag, so I was just going to get a vehicle.

And there's like a little swampy park area that all the trams go over. I saw two gators hands to sky. I hadn't even been in the state for 10 minutes and I saw two gators. They were, they looked large-esque, by my scientific estimation. Just saying.

So that's, all right. Also, another dude got bit up by a croc because, I know, was it a gator or croc? His boat capsized in the Everglades National Park. I'm going to come back to this tomorrow because we have our third hour that's rushing up on us. But this one, if your boat capsizes in a park and there's water in Florida, nice life you live.

Stay with us. The Kel-Tec Sub 2K. It reads as Sub 2000.

I've literally had people say, well, I typed Sub 2K, you know, Sub 2000. This is the Gen 3 version, 9 millimeter carbine, and it's gone origami. Now, previously, I have the older version, so I have to take my optic off to fold it in half, but the thing folds in half and it's cool. Gen 3, you don't have to remove your favorite optic to fold it in half. I mean, it's a simple twist and fold of the patent pending rotating forend.

In either direction, it folds it straight up in half and just as quickly and easily deploys it, optics and all. And there's other upgrades that they have as well. The upgraded aluminum trigger, redesigned mechanics, lightened five-pound pull, more precise feedback, the upgraded action. You got a redesigned operating handle, ambidextrous bolt hold open, lightened action for easy racking, new chamber indicator as well, and made right here in the U.S. of A., family-owned company based in Florida, family-owned values at their best. To learn more about the Sub 2K Gen 3, visit keltecweapons.com. That's K-E-L-T-E-C weapons dot com.

Tell them that Dana sent you. From the hill, punk is dead. So South by Southwest has been going on. South by Southwest, I think, used to be cool. And then it got over commercialized and over glorified and self-important and sucky.

Well, this coming out of the hill. Bands are pulling out of South by Southwest over U.S. Army sponsorship and the Gaza war. You mean Israel defending itself against the terrorists that were elected to operate Gaza. OK, so they said multiple bands and musicians scheduled to perform at South by Southwest are pulling out because of the U.S. Army sponsorship and America's support of Israel's right to defend itself. I'm not going to say Israel's war on Hamas because this is Israel didn't declare a war on Hamas. Israel is defending itself against Hamas, who still has Israeli hostages, including babies, and also has American hostages. So there's a group from Belfast.

It's called they're called kneecap. Nobody's ever heard of them and nobody cares. It's they're the ones who said that it was depraved. OK, then GTFO. Don't let the customs door hit you in the ass on your way back to the land of the grain. Bye.

They go, we can't in good conscience attend an art festival. That's blah, blah, blah. OK, then get out.

Who are you? Nobody gives. Nobody cares.

Get out. They had a bunch of other crappy bands that pulled out of the event to protest. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. That's it.

And they had a British group, probably two chicks who can't play instruments. They said they had to pull out of South by Southwest because they didn't want to become totally inauthentic in their claims of solidarity with a nonexistent entity that's governed by Hamas. OK, bye. I just think that's when people wave the white, when people wave the flag of stupidity, just let them. They're identifying themselves to you as limited in brain cells.

But what I find interesting, if I could just, you know, pick a bone here. Who's heading up the delivery of humanitarian aid to the Gaza area, Kane? Who's heading that up? Our military? Yeah, the army. Yeah, the people that they're protesting right now.

Yeah. Did any of the people in the brain trust stop to check that out? I'm protesting against the army that's leading up the aid effort. Brain trust.

Yeah, I meant that facetiously because we think they're morons. So they're actually spearheading it. Our military and the U.S. Army, they're helping to construct the seaport and deliver of humanitarian aid. But it was the U.S. Army, apparently, that's spearheading it via the Hill. And the army says that it's, quote, proud to be a sponsor of South by Southwest.

Now, I get it. People are like, why? Our tax dollars support the army. Why is the army doing this?

Because they probably have it allocated within their budget to advertise for recruitment. Did you think of that? That's probably what it is. They got to, you know, what were you shaking your head for?

It's obvious. Yeah. You know what I mean? Some people just smart people.

How do you not get it? You know, I would rather them do that way than have a draft. But I get it. And I don't necessarily think that that's a bad thing. If we're if it's about defense, and if we're making the means of defense.

I actually don't. I'm not opposed to that. I feel like that's actually not a wasteful use of dollars. Like, you know, sending 300 million to Ukraine. That's a wasteful use. That's a wasteful use of dollars. Sending more aid to an area run by a terrorist group that was popularly elected and is still popular and takes all the aid for itself.

That's a stupid use of money. But this isn't anything new. Whether if they're were they're either canceling Cherie Currie, who is going to be on with this Friday, correct? Yeah, she's gonna be on this the runaways.

They were canceling her for the trans stuff. And now you have these groups were mad because the army sponsoring it or because I mean, it's just dumb. Nobody cares.

Nobody's gonna remember. Because people will go see live music the way they used to do they at now it's South by Southwest. It's about being seen. It's about being seen and being able to say that you were there and taking pictures of yourself there.

That's what it's about. I don't like festivals anymore. The last big fest.

Well, the last big actual festival festival that I went to was Memphis in May. Because I wanted to see that's when it was right. That was actually Susan Tedeschi performed. I saw run DMC right after Susan Tedeschi Allman Brothers Band. Tedeschi Trucks is Tedeschi Trucks is good. This is this pre date. This is right before Tedeschi Trucks formed. And then run DMC came on right after and then the Foo Fighters.

It was amazing. Like all literally like that's one line up. That's one line up. Right. But I just don't have a tolerance for a lot of people. Because you know, a lot of people he and liquor it gets you know, I just don't like that scene.

I prefer to be quiet and lurk in the shadow. So but I like good music and I and I really like it. Wouldn't be able to go see that it was it was an amazing show. But but South by Southwest.

Does anybody go there anymore? Aside from want to be influencers? And bands that I get programming and musicianship are different things and people who can't play music anymore and auto tune everything. I don't know. I'm Kane and I are just cruel when it comes to music. We're jaded. We're down for jaded and downright cruel. I mean, you think Simon Cowell's mean? Please. He's a cupcake.

He is. So just say if you want us to review your stuff and be totally honest. If you want us to totally destroy you, just send us your stuff. Because he was he worked as a music DJ, I can actually play instruments.

We'll kill you. So just you know, just send it if you want to be humbled or you want to have your day ruined. Because you know, if you want to be humbled.

Have your day ruined because you're a masochist. I don't know. Just like send it.

Send it over. I don't know. Yeah. Free of charge.

Free of charge. So a few of the that's I don't mean to be mean. But yes, I do. The news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. I have to remark on that snitch commercial that plays that snitch PSA. It's like if you see something, say something.

Be a snitch. Don't maybe. I don't know. All right. So I didn't say that.

Who said that? This is a ghost. Scientists apparently just got closer to creating artificial life in the lab.

Well, we already know that they've done it once because it's President of the United States. They said that this is the road to how life can arise in a laboratory. This sounds horrible.

Who's your mom and dad? A lab? The Washington Post quotes scientists saying that they've created an RNA molecule that made copies of other types of RNA and they're closer to doing something they shouldn't be doing. I'm telling you guys read about the tower in the Bible, right? Right? I feel like that Natalie Portman meme. That Natalie Portman meme.

Remember the tower of Pavel, right? It's the Salk Institute for Biological Studies. Those scientists work from the theory that there were there before there were DNA or proteins, RNA existed as the initial ingredient in the quote unquote delicious primordial soup.

Nom, nom, nom. And as part of their research, they said they created a lab made RNA. Just stuff they shouldn't be doing. Stop it. Stop it. Do we not have enough of a horror show in this world that y'all got to be doing more of it in the lab? Stop. Somebody get these scientists.

Golly, creepy. I don't know why the Metro British publication is envisioning what a murder would look like in space, but they are. Apparently, in Britain, they paid for someone to study space murder.

Ooh, that almost sounds like a great cane, a futuristic punk rock band with thrash metal inspiration. Space murder. They said it's CSI in space. I wouldn't watch that show.

I don't think I would. It'd be kind of annoying. They said that it revealed how forensic science would apply in space by simulating blood splatters, splatters and micro. Somebody's a little too excited about the blood splatters. What two headlines in a row about weirdo scientists. They were studying the way blood explodes out when you murk someone in zero gravity. I need to solve all those space murders. It's a lot of space. I mean, are they going to go out there and be murking some aliens or I don't know, like, how's this going to happen? So they they actually use they try to get the viscosity of human blood. And basically they had a Jackson Pollock moment in a zero gravity environment and they were looking at what happened to blood. Okay, there you go.

Also, let's see it. The number of California million millionaires has grown. New data shows despite exodus fears.

Do you know why it's grown? Because all the poor people left. So all the people that are left there are the rich people that can afford the virtue signaling indulgence of higher taxes. A man was arrested in an outclosed Michigan prison. I know I've heard of prison breakouts, but I've never heard of someone breaking in the prison. But that's exactly what happened in Standish, Michigan inmates trying to break out that happens but trying to get into a former maximum security facility. Well, that took place the guy ended up getting arrested 42 year old Cody Bellamy. So they caught him trying to get in the trying to get in the pokey.

Okay. 12 year old was found spending the night alone inside of an Ohio Target store. They said Columbus police found the boy at 6.15am and that he was unaccompanied.

He was there all night and he was a runaway. I mean, there's worse places to be. So Law and Order speaking of Law and Order all Taco Bell locations in Oakland have announced the indefinite closure of all of their dining rooms due to a series of robberies and a crime surge. They're switching to cashless drive through only.

That is how bad it is in Oakland. Cashless drive through only. They said all the Taco Bell restaurants. They said that it's this is sadly it's a new reality for customers. They can't go in and sit down. And they have to go get drive through. And they said it's a safety and business decision.

That's what they said. It's a safety and business decision. So that's because they can't they're there. They can't deal with the crime anymore. They can't deal with it.

So I'm, that's pretty, that's kind of wild. The fact that Taco Bell, that you can't even have a fast food. First off, who robs a Taco Bell? The fact that you can't even have a Taco Bell be open in Oakland. I mean, that tells you everything that you need to know about Gavin Newsom and the state of I mean, California is the ultimate culmination of every Democrat policy.

If you want to know what the end game is, look at California. In Oakland, six months, their crime has skyrocketed just like in the past year. But they said they had a Denny's, which was an iconic Denny's that closed after 54 years in the same location. And they said it was crime and the safety and well being of their employees and customers.

They were, they closed in and out. In Oakland, they closed in and out. They even had the NAACP, let me pull this story up.

This was over at Red State back in July of last year. Oakland NAACP absolutely rips into woke DA defund police activists in a call to action on crime. Because they said that Oakland has a public safety crisis. So they actually were at odds NAACP with BLM in Oakland. And all of these far left activists in Oakland, they said, quote, Oakland residents are sick and tired of the intolerable public safety crisis that overwhelmingly impacts minority communities, murders and shootings and violent armed robberies, home invasions, car break ins, side shows, highway shootouts, that's a pervasive fixture of life in Oakland. Wow. Now, the restaurants that Taco Bell has closed, they're well, they're closing just the dining rooms only. But it is all cashless drive through. And they did confirm we had to because they had to hire even by doing that they still had to hire extra security guards because it's that dangerous. So this is what happens, though, when you have soft on crime restorative justice. This is what you get with it. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana lashes absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.