Absurd Truth: Is It The Dog Or The Owners?

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec.

It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Well, here's one for the books. I have seen some stuff before.

You know, scammers trying to get insurance money, things like that. This is really committed. A Florida Man chopped off his paraplegic friend's feet with a hatchet. Yeah, it's a Florida Man in Springfield, Missouri. Tori Thompson. This guy found, Tori Thompson says, this case is the strangest of his career.

Howell County Sheriff's Office Lieutenant. So back in November, the Howell County Sheriff's Office issued this cryptic press release to local media involving a man who had supposedly lost his feet in a staged mishap with a brush hog. And yeah, I mean, literally cut his feet off. But something was amiss because the guy was a 60 year old paraplegic. And he had tourniquets on his legs when he was found.

How? So they discovered that he was not acting alone. A friend from Florida traveled to Springfield, and they decided to commit insurance fraud and chopped off his feet. And the wounds were not convincing.

According to the lieutenant, they were clean unnaturally. It wasn't gruesome like you would expect from a brush hog. I still want to know how a 60 year old paraplegic would be operating a brush hog, and then how his feet would get caught inside a brush hog. And then when they get there to help him, he's got his feet wrapped in tourniquets.

60 year old paraplegic. And I don't know, they found his feet hidden in a bucket obscured by tires. Yes, I said that. So anyway, they finally have closed out the case on this. They had, what is it, just a strange thing. They committed insurance fraud.

So the responsible parties were prosecuted, but it took long enough. Oh my gosh, that's just a weird story. So this story, I got more though.

I'm made of questions. How did you think that was a good idea with a brush hog to do that? A Florida man with, I don't know what kind of haircut this is, was arrested for exposing himself at a Macon metaphysical supply store. And the police had to, they were called to come and stop Robert Webb walking in, he walked into the store around five minutes before closing, said it was cold outside, he needed a warm up. And then he dropped his britches and exposed himself. And then he left the store and walked up the street. Police, this is apparently not the first time he's done this. They did arrest him.

His mugshot is disturbing. Is that how you warm up? I don't warm up. Yeah, walk into random businesses and drop your britches. You know, that's totally normal.

Sure. You guys remember about that bill that I was telling you about where you could kill crack bears in self defense? Not just any bear, but a crack bear, you know, like if it was, seemed like it was on crack. And I don't know, they call it the cocaine bear bill.

So Floridians, apparently this is, I'm not kidding you, the Florida Senate voted on it. It cleared the Senate to defend yourself against, if you, like one of the lawmakers, Jason Shoaf said, you know, the bears that break down your door, they're in there in your living room growling and tearing your house apart. When you run into one of those crack bears, you should be able to shoot it, period. Well, I agree. Yeah, I mean, I just don't think you need to call it crack bear. I just think, you know, if your life is in danger from wildlife, you should be able to defend yourself.

I just think it's funny that crack bears is a part of it. All right, folks, so new sponsors over at Fast Growing Trees, the biggest online nursery in the United States, and they have more than 10,000 different kinds of plants and over 2 million happy customers in the United States. Get lemon, avocado, olive, fig trees, you can have all of these at your home. On top of the wide variety of house plants that they have available and Fast Growing Trees makes it really easy to order online and your plants are shipped directly to your door in just one to two days and along with their 30 day alive and thrive guarantee. They also offer free plant consultation.

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Offer is valid for a limited time, so tell them we sent you. Speaking of Biden, did you hear about that dog? I feel like this is just so abusive of this dog.

I don't think that the Biden should actually have them. But their dog, Commander, this was like back last year. Remember when the story broke and they said that Commander was relocated from the White House because he was just too aggressive and he bit a Secret Service agent? Well apparently, he bit members of the Secret Service 24 times before he was finally removed from the White House.

And I was looking at this. I sent you guys an image of all exactly where because it's bad. CNN had this story that showed exactly what the bites were and where they were. So apparently, they had left arm, left hand, left forearm, right lower back, wrist, thigh, waist, magazine pouch. And whether or not treatment was received. Apparently, medical treatment was needed in a ton of these different incidences.

They had Camp Dave at the right forearm. They get into exactly where it happened and how often it happened. I mean, so basically from October 2 of 22 to June 15 of 23, they had just tons of bites. And I mean, the dog sounds like it was stressed and so much of this. They were trying to deal with public responses, said CNN.

They were trying to craft a way to talk about the issue. Apparently, he ran and bit one Secret Service agent in his arm and it was a deep wound. And he actually lost, according to the documents, started to lose a significant amount of blood from that arm. He had to be treated by the White House Medical Unit. He got six stitches.

He got antibiotics, all this stuff. And he was bitten while he was holding the door open between the West Wing and the President's residence. So apparently, that means Biden was involved. He was opening the door for Biden or Jill Biden when they were leaving the residence going into the West Wing. They said that it just kept happening, kept happening. Apparently, at one point, there was an incident. This was October 26 in 2022 on the White House grounds. And Jill Biden apparently had him on a leash and the dog lunged to bite but missed.

She regained control of the leash. It sounds like they wanted a German Shepherd and they had no idea how to deal with him. The Bidens raised their drug dealing, drug doing kids. I mean, you see all the mess that their kids are involved in. Are you shocked that the dogs are any different?

No. I mean, they said that at one point, there was an incident where an agent was opening the door to the Oval Office dining room for the First Lady and that the dog jumped on one agent, bit him on the left chest area. It was a torn shirt, two lacerations.

A member of the Navy staff at Camp David. Apparently, they said everybody has had an incident with Commander, the dog. And they just could not get control of this dog. And just like with the kids, they said that the dog's behavior was a sensitive subject for the staff to raise with the First Family. Oh, you mean the First Family doesn't want to take accountability over the fact that they're incapable dog owners just like they were incapable parents? Notice how when their culpability is questioned, it's a sensitive subject to raise with them.

Good grief. So, it sounds like they didn't know how to train and raise their dogs because I hate this blame the dog thing. I hate the blame the dog mentality. You guys know I'm a huge dog person. It's the owners.

I mean, it comes down to the owners. If you're not able to, and German Shepherds and Belgian Malinois and other really kind of working dogs like this, they have a lot of energy, they're super smart, and they require devoted attention to train them properly. And a lot of people get these dogs like the Bidens without the ability or interest to provide for them the kind of discipline and training that they need so that they know where their limits are and they don't have to be fearful and run these sorts of risks all the time.

So this is, I mean, it's just kind of par for the course with this whole family, is it not? I mean, I feel bad for the dog. I also do.

I agree with Kano. I trust dogs more than I trust people. Dogs aren't wrong. All dogs love me. But if my dog doesn't like somebody, I typically probably would not like them either. Although one of my dogs, Louie, didn't like a lot of people, but if Rocco didn't like you, then you probably were trash. Just saying because Rocco was a great judge of character. He really was.

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It's time for Dana's Quick 5. Gas station heroin sounds like an album name. It does. It's apparently a growing threat though, an actual thing in New Jersey. Health officials are warning it's dangerous and addictive.

What is it? Products containing, I'm not going to say this right, Tyaneptine? Sure, let's go with that. Sounds right. Tyaneptining?

That one? Okay. Can cause severe opioid-like effects, putting kids and teens at risk. It's a dangerous drug, dangerous drug.

They say that it's caused a spike in illnesses. It's sold on the shelves of corner convenience stores. And it's called Neptune's Elixir and Zaza Red gas station heroin, two of the products marked as dietary supplements. And they said that it causes severe clinical effects and it's a tricyclic anti-depressant that has not been, it looks like something, it looks like pot juice.

I don't know how else to describe it. Like it comes in a little bottle and it says Neptune's Fix and it looks like, I don't know. I think it's pot juice. It looks like something that, I don't know, it's weird. I don't know how else to, it looks like something a hippie would drink, like a little hippie energy thing, right?

I've never seen this before. They have this in gas stations. What gas stations carry this?

And in New Jersey where you can't like do anything, but you can get this kind of, what? I don't know. Anyway, so just be aware. You know, the only thing I would look for when I was at a gas station were the giant fudge rounds.

Y'all know what I'm talking about? The big ones that you would, it'd be like 50 cents. They're probably a lot more now.

That was when I was at college. They were like 50 cents for a giant one. You would get the box and they've shrank. They're like fun size now, which is a joke.

But you could get the giant ones like as big as your face for 50 cents at the gas station. Man, that was my jam was the pizza combos and the fudge rounds and some gay tour raid. What? Get your fudge round. What?

Get your combos. What? Okay, I don't know what's happening. Let's see.

No, let's go to this one. Scientists found a link between brain imbalance and chronic fatigue syndrome. That's apparently an actual thing. Chronic fatigue syndrome. They say that there's some sort of, they've been doing this overdue deep dive. They set into the biology of the condition and it has chronic fatigue syndrome has a very long name that I'm not going to get into. It's called myalgicness of alignment and it's right. And it's very real. I've read about this because when I first heard it, I thought it was made up and it's actually not.

It's like a neurological thing. So they've been doing, they've, they've starting to find some links, which means that they can now start looking at how to treat and maybe cure it. And the lifespan of large appliances is shrinking. Frig, refrigerators, washing machines, because I think they're doing more.

Stick with us. Everyone's cell service was, well, not everybody. 18 to my cell service wasn't out at all.

I have a amazing, yeah, I didn't, I didn't notice nothing. So what do they mean? So basically everybody's cell service was out. Not everybody, but if you have what AT&T and Verizon and whatever, you were on SOS or you just didn't have it at all?

Yeah, mine said SOS only this morning and now I'm just showing four empty signal bars. So you still don't really have anything? I don't.

No, I don't. Look at your signal bar, not your wifi. Cause I was working on 100% wifi this morning.

Oh, well I've been on wifi I guess. So they said it was a solar flare. Yeah, that's what they said. Right. Yeah, that's what they said. That only affects the US cell grid. Yeah, that's what they said. It's a solar flare that only affects the United States. That is correct.

Cell grid. I just wanted to make sure I had that right. Only, only affects ours, right? That is correct. Okay. Does that work? Steve, do you got service?

Of course he does. Do you have all your bars? All full bars?

See, now mine is, just says SOS now. I have nbar. nbar? Yeah. So, now let me ask this. Does that mean no one can call you?

Uh, you have nbar, so that means somebody can call you. No, I have like n half a bar. Yeah. It's not even the baby bar.

It's not even the full baby bar. Probably still possible. Yeah? But there's no way anybody can reach me. Because if it means that no one can call me, I am all for this. Yeah, me too.

I am so for it. Because I hate using my phone, honestly. I mean, I love my service, but I just don't, I don't like using my phone. I get excited for regular mail. I hate email. Remember when you were, I don't know, when I was in high school and I would get email? I'm like, oh my gosh, this is so great. I was so excited.

I was a senior in high school. And that's when everything, they still weren't really sending the important stuff in email, but I'm like, oh my gosh, I got an email. Now I'm like, oh my gosh, I got regular mail. Someone took the time to send you like an actual piece of mail.

It was amazing. Uh, but I just don't like using my phone. Like if someone calls, I'm like, why are you calling? Why are you calling me? It's like the phone version of Sebastian Maniscalco's Visitors, his whole bit on someone dropping in to visit, which is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Maniscalco talking about that because he's like, you know, back in the day when you were little, you know, people would come over and your parents would be like, oh my gosh, it's you.

Why don't you come in? And you know, they had the Entenmann's coffee cake that you're not, you trash people who live there aren't supposed to eat it, but you got the stale muffins. But you know, they brought up, my parents totally did this. It was either like a Sarah Lee or Entenmann's coffee cake and they'd be like, here's the cake.

And they'd put it on the coffee table like they spent all day making it. Anyway, his whole bit on that's great. And I feel like that used to apply to phones too. So I'm really excited.

So that actually makes sense. But, um, yeah, that actually makes sense because I didn't, my phone didn't ring this morning and I'm like, this is amazing. I don't know what's happening, but I love this. So they said it was a solar flare that does not affect anybody else anywhere in the world. What do you think it is? Go ahead, go ahead.

Just lay it on me. What do I think it is? I think it's a sign up. No, I think, I think that, um, I looked at the data and it wasn't just cellular towers that went down the cellular network. It was internet wide. Um, if you look at down detector.com, you can see that right around three 30 central, three o'clock central this morning. Um, you noticed a bunch of reporting of downed connection and it was, it was like I said, internet wide.

So again, the list you can see with your own eyes at down detector.com. But, um, I, I don't know, it's, it's hard. One and I were having a discussion this morning about it and there's a bunch of different theories. Imagine if the government, you know, the government that loves to, you know, want you to register your guns and things of that nature. Imagine if now they know where all the emergency communications are, um, in certain regions because that's what was being used while these communication, you know, avenues are down. Right. Exactly. But that's just one, that's just one part of what we talked about. Or it could be aliens. The aliens are like, I've seen your memes. You all need Jesus.

I'm open to the idea, but one, and I didn't talk about that this morning. Yeah. So I, I, our listener, Larry, who's out in Vegas, he's like, I'm old enough that I don't care if my cell phone goes down. I'm like, I'm positive he's probably Gen X. He sounds like a Gen X guy.

Larry sounds like he's Gen X because you just don't have that much cynicism in your tone, even in the written word and not be Gen X. I just, I'm just saying it. So a number of things that we're going to be getting into today, like I said, just some of this, we're going to talk about some of the 2024 stuff. Texans, the crackdown on, this is part of that survey I was telling you about, the crackdown on illegal immigration. Apparently, so here's another part of it, voters want like barbed wire and arrests, one-way bus trips, the whole nine yards.

We're going to get into all of that. And in Bader or Works hometown, there was an illegal immigrant shelter that was running literally a human smuggling ring. Where's Bader? Where's he at? Where's Tabata at? Thanks for tuning into today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.