Absurd Truth: Gavin's Target Experience

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. I love some of these headlines are just so funny. So this Florida Man who is apparently a self-proclaimed bear trainer.

Okay. Yeah, in Ocalusa County. Apparently, the guy got in trouble because two Kodiak bear cubs escaped from an inadequate enclosure on his property. ABC Channel 3 has the story. They said that two Kodiak cubs found their way to the Sunshine State via a quote, self-proclaimed bear trainer.

And this and in Ocalusa County, Deputy Belial was the one who was called. This is his quote. He says, quote, when I rolled up on the scene, and this guy's literally playing with him in the middle of the street.

I'm like, okay, this is definitely an odd call. He's like, I've been to bear calls before that they're black bears. He goes, what piqued my interest with this one is when dispatch said the bears were in his truck.

He goes, because all the other car calls I responded to, they're in the trash or they're up a tree, but they're not like in a truck. And they're, I mean, the Kodiak bears, that's a that's the largest bear, right? In the world. That's like the biggest bear.

And they're usually they're on Kodiak, the islands up there, the archipelago up there, which is like many miles away from Florida. And so the deputy said that, yeah, it was an inadequate bear. They're still investigating. But yeah, that was pretty wild.

Almost as wild. Oh, no, I'm gonna get to that. I'm gonna save this one for last. I'm gonna save this one for last. There's also this Florida man who was sentenced for an alarming series of crimes committed days after he was released from prison.

Well, the giant necktack definitely didn't give anything away. Central Florida man, he was sentenced Wednesday. Marion County jury convicted 45 year old Rocco a whole list of charges. Oh, boy. So they was a paddock mall, a robbery. Apparently, he robbed a JC penny.

450 something dollars worth. Some of it's sad. Like he stole baby clothes and shoes. That's kind of sad. That makes me sad. But then he also did some other stuff, though.

That's not sad at all. It's creepy. He ran up to some people's van in the parking lot and said driver, I'll shoot you. So yeah, and he had his arms full of merchandise. And he's, you know, he apparently ran up to a number of cars and said that. And then at one point, he got into one car, the victim in the front passenger seat turned around pushed him halfway out of the van. Apparently, he tried to carjack a minivan. The driver stomped on the gas sped off causing the suspect to fall out roll into the pavement.

Oh, my gosh, this was crazy. Then he gets up and then he tries to rob another car. I mean, all like he like tried to rob like a whole handful of people in the matter of like five minutes, threatening to shoot everyone in the parking lot with his arms full of JC penny onesies and shoes.

This is weird. So he got a life sentence for his crimes because he's already had a huge record and his status as a prison release reoffender. So he faced minimum mandatory, which included potentially life in prison, which is what they got.

So I mean, it sounds like that's where he needs to go. He sounds totally lawless. Imagine driving down the road, and you just happen to see a dude wrestling a Python in the middle of the highway.

You're in Florida. A Florida man was hunting for invasive Burmese pythons in the big Cyprus National Reserve. He came across and captured the longest example of the species ever caught. All I'm going to say is this Python can wrap itself around this dude easily.

Yeah, it is terrifying. But he's like an actual Python hunter because they're invasive species and they're they're bad and to the ecosystem there. And they they have no natural predator. So they have a major Python like a big Python problem. And so he it was a 20 foot long Burmese Python. And it has the head the size of a dog. And as it wrapped around him, because he was wrestling with it, it legit unhinged its job because it was it was preparing to strike to swallow him.

I mean, he beat it. But oh my gosh, I don't like anything that can do that with this job. That's terrifying. But it's all on video. I can't I'll know I don't have a problem with snakes. I do have a problem when dogs giant snakes unhinged their jaws like they're going to swallow someone on video for my eyes to see.

Because there's no backspace key. I don't like that. But yeah, he's a very successful Python hunter, apparently. So yeah, I'm not 20 foot long. He's 22. This is 22.

Jake Willary 22 years old. I bet he was tired. I mean, this thing is it's like all muscle.

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Check it out. The woman says, Oh, he's just walking out. He didn't pay for that. I said, Why are you stopping? She goes, Oh, the governor. I swear to God, true story.

My mom's great. The governor lowered the threshold. There's no there's no there's no accountability. No, I said it's just not true. And I said we have the 10th toughest $950 a 10th toughest in America. She didn't know what I was talking about. By the way, it's the 10th toughest in America. Look it up. No one gives a damn. But I'm right.

And I said, it's just not true. There's still a stop. So well, we don't stop them because the governor. And then she goes, she looks at me twice. And then she freaks out. She calls everyone over wants to take photos.

I'm like, No, I'm not taking a photo. We're having a conversation with your manager. Are you blaming the governor? And it was you know, $380 later.

And I was like, Why am I spending $380? Everyone can walk the hell right out. Wow, he sounds like a true statesman, doesn't he? That's Gavin Newsom. He said he's just a total. He so he gets blamed for a shoplifting incident and he gets mad and he's like, I didn't do this. But do you kind of did though, dude? I mean, that was I mean, what he's he's he was surprised when the employees didn't intervene.

Because there's no why what's the purpose of the nothing's gonna happen to the guy? Welcome back to the program. Dana top of the second hour. And that was California Governor Gavin Newsom. You can see his video he was like on a zoom call. If you were watching the simulcast of the radio program, which you can watch channel 347 direct TV.

You can also listen to the radio program across the country. Yes, I'm I'm on the men from the plague. I'm doing a lot better. But it's thank you for your kind wishes. And everyone's like telling me I did not realize Can I just say sidebar real quick? Y'all have so many different recipes for chicken noodle soup. What is happening? Oh, my gosh, I've got like 50. I didn't know it was such a contested thing.

I feel like putting everyone in a cage and having everyone fight it out to see who's chicken noodle soup is the best. We're just about at that point. Alright, so that was Gavin Newsom saying he was he was at a target, you know, and, and there was a shoplifting incident and he got blamed to his face. And the worker didn't recognize him. Do you do you get the impression that he was mad that he wasn't recognized?

I told I was the first thing I thought I was like bros mad that he didn't get recognized. Look at that. And he's, he says, she said the governor lowered the threshold. There's no accountability. Yeah, I mean, exactly. Because you did that. He's like, how are you blaming the governor?

Yeah, you get to walk right out. I mean, he is literally the problem. He's been in I mean, when he was mayor of San Francisco, he was pushing this stuff. I mean, good grief.

They've lowered the what so many felonies to reduce them to misdemeanors. And he's like, Oh, someone steals a target with no consequences. It's the managers.

Managers problem. I mean, you literally you you were part of this. They increased the amount of theft. Like it used to be around 500. Now it's up near $1,000. It's like $860 something dollars before they will prosecute. Yeah, so please, and you just get a risk like you just it's a misdemeanor offense. It's a misdemeanor. You just get it used to be greater than that. And it was, I mean, you could get charged over and now they don't they don't do that anymore. And they've and so yeah, you're don't you realize I mean, you can go and steal 500 $800 worth of stuff and walk right out.

Nothing's gonna happen to you. I mean, that's not that's that's that's why one of the reasons why you're seeing what you see like all these stores getting ransacked and everything else. I mean, that's not, you know, in these and you're expecting these employees. Probably he was talking to a part time employee. Are are they is he like expecting these employees to intervene and stop and maybe put themselves in harm's way over something that the system isn't even going to enforce and follow up on? Like he was mad that they didn't intervene and engage. But yet, his policies and the policies that he pushed not just when he was mayor of San Francisco, but when he was Attorney General of the state of California. He absolutely promoted and maintained on these things. And he expects them to put their safety and their physical selves in the way on the line to enforce something that they're not even going to press charges on. Why the hell would you I mean, golly, is that not the epitome of privilege. This trust fund baby, and that's what he is Gavin Newsome is a nepo baby. I'm getting tired of these nepo babies. He's a trust fund kid.

It's the Newsome's the Hearst's and the Getty's that run California, particularly San Francisco. Remember back. And this kind of makes sense.

This will enlighten you to how he can have this perspective with a straight face. When was this? This was two years ago. Let me look this up.

I'm going to make sure I got this right. This was two years ago. And there was this was when I think everything was still maybe three years ago, and it was no sorry, 2020 November 2021. So this is when everything was still kind of locked down, especially in San Francisco.

And so they're one of the Getty's and it was one of the billionaire daughters of the Getty family. They ended up and this is when everyone else had you were you had to wear masks in California. And we had friends who lived in LA and San Francisco at this time and my friend who used to be a Democrat now. She's a moderate, but she was in San Francisco. This was like it because she got in trouble for going to a park with her two year old son and she didn't have a face mask on. And she literally someone literally said something to her. And they had to put she had to put a face mask on at a park outside San Francisco. I'm not even making this up.

So anyway, keep that in mind. So it was in San it was at San Francisco City Hall. And it was this huge Beaux Arts building right this huge rotunda very nice setting. And it was Ivy Getty. She's this very rich member of the Getty family. She they flew John Galliano in who was this designer who used to work with Alexander McQueen and all of this stuff. He's he went away for a little bit because he got drunk and went on an anti semitic tirade at a cafe. And it was captured on video. And then so he kind of had like this fall from grace and he's been away for a decade now he's coming back.

And so he cut he did her gown and all our bridesmaids dresses and they took photos of it. You're all sitting at home, right? You can't go nowhere. You're all sitting at home because it's locked down. Your businesses are closed down.

You got to wear diapers on your face when you go out. But they're flying in John Galliano to do her dress and all this. And they had everybody at this at this wedding. They had everybody at this wedding. And some of the people at this wedding included it was all the the circle that they run in. So they you Gavin Newsom and his wife were there. Other Newsom family members were there. They had the Pelosi's were there.

I mean, all of them because they all know each other and they all kind of grew up together. And every everything else was locked down. And they had all of these people sitting in this rotunda. And they did not have face masks on.

None of them. I mean, none of them had face masks on. They had a huge event the night before. And they all party nobody had face masks on again, you still couldn't eat out in a restaurant, but whatever. And then the next day, they had the big wedding and then the big party. And then it just and again, no face masks, everything else.

And Newsom was he was at all of these events because he's pictured at all of these events with his wife and he was like right in one of the front rows or in the front at least at this wedding. That all happened when you all had to have your kids do remote learning. When everyone businesses were shutting down, things were closed. You couldn't do you couldn't go anywhere. You couldn't fly anywhere. You can do nothing.

They did that. So just understand the perspective that this dude has and that event by the way that he went to that came after the French laundry thing. Remember that was right after things locked down and he was pictured without a mask at French laundry. So he's done this repeatedly. So that's the perspective he has. He has grown up with a silver spoon in his mouth. And he's never had to ask for anything. He's been bankrolled by his family. He's a nepo baby. And he's got the benefit of coming from two wealthy families and they know all these other wealthy families and they get to do whatever they want.

And there's there's no question, no nothing about it. And so that's, it gives you a little insight how he expects, you know, minimum wage or part time workers at Target, due to his policies, they have to allow shoplifters to walk. And he's outraged that they didn't put themselves in harm's way and do what he could have done easily with policy. Does that give you some insight into this guy? Why in the hell would anybody consider? How do Democrats claim to be on the side of the blue collar dude and support somebody like this? I mean, how in the world? He is everything that is wrong with excess. And it is every day we did not want an aristocracy in the United States.

They have tried to make one. It is some aristocratic BS. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. All right here. So first up, before you, why is this a Spotify tattoo?

Why are people doing this? If you get a Spotify tattoo, artists say you need to know the risks. What? I didn't even know a Spotify tattoo was a thing, but apparently it is. QR codes too. It's only a matter of time before somebody starts like tattooing their OnlyFans QR code on their skin. I'm like, I just gave somebody an idea.

I don't know what's happening. So anyway, apparently every piece of content on Spotify has blah, blah, blah, sound bars, Spotify code. And if you tattoo it on your arm, you can scan it and it plays the content. And so people have that on there. But they say that it's like a party trick, but you don't, you know, now you just it's, I don't know.

I just feel like Spotify is not gonna be around for forever. Right? Like a tattoo would.

Yeah, like a tattoo would. And then when you're, you're 70 years old, you have to explain to your kid who's your grandchild, how the service that doesn't exist anymore, how this works. All right, so apparently, there, why are they going after him and pull the story up? Hang on, everything slow for a moment.

When your girl's about to show up to death. Okay, so this headline is garbage. It says contaminated raw milk sold in several Pennsylvania counties, prompting warnings. Okay, I have no problem with with raw food. If you know what you're if you know what you're purchasing, then why you should be able to purchase it.

Why is this such a huge deal? I mean, and it's actually raw milk is good for you. All this pasteurization and the homogenization and all this stuff.

I remember Rossum out in California. That's like a it was like a Costco for raw food. Like it was like a members only thing. And so you knew that you were getting like raw and pasteurized milk and they rated it and they were accusing them. The feds like went in with full auto, no joke. They rated it and they went in and they were accusing them of selling raw milk and tricking people and all these people like it's literally called Rossum, a raw food store. And we paid to purchase premium raw food.

It's actually even worse than that. What they'll do is when they raid them, they'll let all this stuff. No, they let this stuff sit out for hours before they take it to the lab to test. And then they're like, Oh, look at how bad this stuff is that they're selling. It's like, no, you let this sit outside for five hours before you even took it to the lab. This is a BS headline. Yeah, totally. So a junior high principal is fired for stealing seven, half, seven cups of coffee.

Half cups of coffee. Fresh what? Oh, so this is in Japan. Oh, yeah, you can't be doing that. Oh, that's a big bad no, no. That's rude.

They have different things, different ways of living over there. Yeah, this guy, he went into the he was supposed to pay 75, 110 yen, equivalent of 75 cents for regular coffee and apparently he didn't and he stole it. So he got in trouble. And a major taxidermy polar bear was stolen in a bizarre Canadian heist.

I'm not saying it was me, but there would be signs. The public has been asked to keep an eye out for a giant 12 foot tall stuff polar bear north of Edmonton. So they they're still they're still looking.

They're trying to find out the the culprit. Like sands through the hourglass. So are the days of the United States. atmosphere is a wonderful thing. And we can create our own and the weather it brings. It brings hope for the future and so much more. Maybe some Punxsutawney fill write in votes in 2024. But what this weather did not provide is a shadow or reason to hide glad tidings on this groundhog day.

And early spring is on the way. They drug that rat because he was real chill in that guy's arms. That's that tree rat Punxsutawney fill. I like him. I like all those animals.

He looks cuddly. You say tree rat, but he's literally a groundhog. Whatever. Yeah. Okay, a ground rat.

Whatever. It's like a type of rat. I look I like him because he's fat and he's snuggable. And he's chill.

Yeah, he looks chill because they you know why because he learned they learned their lesson. They saw de Blasio Mark that one. He he yeeted that thing right on the concrete and they were like, you see what happens. So he do you know where this do you know where this rat lives? Not just any hole.

Oh, yeah, it's called gobblers knob. Oh, do you know that? Steve probably knew it. You know, Steve, Steve's on the East Coast. So he knows all the weird East Coast stuff. Y'all got weird stuff out there. Got a rat that comes out and at the knob and what does he if he what take drops a deuce on the shady side of the tree. It's winter for five more weeks or something.

Isn't that what it is? That's in yinzer. That's in yinzer country out there.

That's where my uncle lives out in Johnstown, but yinzer country. I love it. I love it.

But and then how it goes or wait, wait, wait is it if they and you know what happens. It's only magical if they wear the top hats. He's just a regular rat. But they got to put the top hats on because science top hats make everything fancy. You know, if you just have like, you know, umbras wife beater. Dirty flip flops. That's basic. You put a top hat with that. You're styling.

That's literally. What John Fetterman does. I know I give him a pass. I'm giving him I know I'm giving I'm not gonna make fun of John Fetterman as long as he keeps doing like nice stuff. Tuxedo hoodie is fire.

I'll give it. Yeah, I mean, it's like you know, he's casual, but he's also here to be formal. You know, so Punxsutawney Phil.

What did he do? He saw so it's an early spring. Yeah, he didn't.

He's just a little bit more. See a shadow, right? And if he were if he was to see it, then we'd have six weeks of winter.

I want to know what high as all get out pilgrim came up with this. Like who sits there and goes look at that rat coming out. What are you science question or not? Yeah. If you see if it sees its shadow, it's like it sounds like a drunk bet. If it sees its shadow, we're gonna have winter I'll take you up on that. I'll take it out. I bet you that's exactly how it got started.

I mean, some of the best traditions in the country got started like that. But your two pints you won't see. Yeah, but your two pints he's not going to see his shadow.

Well, he just defecated on the south side of the tree. So it looks like there's gonna be spring. There it is. So that I want a groundhog. Can you have them as pets?

Is that possible? I'm curious. I'm legitimately curious about this. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana lashes absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast, Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts.