Absurd Truth: Dump Button

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida man. All right, well, we're getting Florida man up here. I sometimes the Wi Fi can be pretty sketchy here in here in this. All right, so first up, got a couple of things here.

First up for Florida man. This I don't understand the whole issue of stealing used cooking oil. Like how is that a thing? But apparently it is this is coming.

Channel 25 I want to make sure I got it right. A Miami man was arrested Tuesday of this week he was accused of trying to steal like actual like used cooking oil from restaurants. I did not know and the chief deputy said at the time that it is a $5 billion business to recycle used cooking oil. Wait, why is it?

Okay, what? Because it's a biodiesel fuel. People can turn this used cooking oil into like a diesel fuel.

Interesting. And so the recycling of that is like that much? I'm sure that there's other, you know, Okay, second question.

Why are we not in this business? No kidding. Like, for real, I'm just like, I could come up with a bunch of used cooking oil. I just don't know what to do with it after that. Yeah, but I didn't know like people would say like, wouldn't most people just like give it away? Or no, I guess not. Back in the day they did.

Yeah. So they said that their restaurants used, they sell it to recycling companies, and then they turn the oil into fuel. But they said that it can go check this out for 65 cents a pound on the black market. 65 cents a pound on the black market. So this dude, he stopped at 20 restaurants on the Federal Highway in Stewart.

And he yeah, he had he had tons of stuff, tons of stuff. This woman, Florida woman was so drunk in the school pickup line in Pinellas County. She fell asleep. She passed out behind the wheel of her car while she was picking up kids in the school pickup line.

A Largo woman. She's facing charges of drunk driving and child neglect. They found her asleep. And she smelled a hooch. She smelled like liquor. Oh my gosh. So they said yeah, that she was taken into custody. That's like this. That's that's scary. I am not reading this story. I am not reading this one.

I'm just going to say quick headline Florida man accused in fatal triple shooting after trying to date his own daughter. That's all I'm saying. We were at the Kel-Tec booth yesterday and got to see a lot of people's reaction to the Gen 3 that they have. And it's it's I've called it gun origami.

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It's awesome. And that's just one of the upgrades that they've made to this Gen 3 version of the Sub 2K that's pushed it over the top. They got an upgraded aluminum trigger, redesigned trigger mechanics.

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That's keltechweapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you. We're, you know, we're broadcasting in Vegas at SHOT Show.

It's our last day here. And I've had some interesting guests on. And I, you could tell people who work and speak for a living and people who don't. And it's funny because people who speak for a living, they know what they can say and can't say when there's a microphone in front of them. And the people who don't, who do stuff and they're, you know, involved in other things, they don't care.

And poor little Steve, poor little Steve, they're in DC. So we have this thing called a dump button, right? So when we're doing a live broadcast, if somebody says something saucy, which we know you're not supposed to do.

But if we have a guest on and they say something a little saucy, you know, one of those words you can't say as per George Carlin on air, then he's got to hit the dump button. And I don't understand how the whole powering up thing works, because apparently you hit it and then it's got to power up again, like a death ray. No, it builds a delay. So there's microseconds right now that's being built into a delay so that whenever he does hit the dump button, it shrinks that time in the middle there from what's real time to delayed time. It's like time travel. So that, yeah, exactly.

Kind of digitally. Well, he about lost five years of his life twice this week, because we had one guest who was blank, blank, blankety blank. And we're like, you can't do that. Cain's even like, don't be dropping this on the air. Don't be saying this stuff on the air. Like even before.

We did it before they even went on the air. Cain smiles and he's like, don't be saying this stuff on the air. Like it was like he went into full Mr. T. Don't be saying this stuff on the air.

Yeah. So it's like, you know, they knew. But anyway, they like we had a couple instances and I swear I could hear Steve sweat. I could hear him sweat all the way here in Vegas. He's all the way into remember, it's like there's a split second. We're like, I mean, we heard that he is perspiring right now.

It's like it's so bad. And he just like lost five years off his life. And somehow, miraculously, he dumped it all every single time again.

I don't understand. No, he didn't. He did.

He dumped all of it. Yeah. What are you talking about? Shush up.

I don't know what I was thinking. Snitches get stitches. What's the matter with you?

What's the matter with you? So, you know, nobody in Radio America said nothing to him. Like he didn't. He's a he's a dude. So he didn't get no flowers or nothing like that, you know, or bath bombs or something. You know, he's a dude.

You know, dudes are just different. But we're like, you know, he should get something. He should get, you know, an award, a major award. Right.

Because, you know, so we got you a couple little things here. Let's you know, let's let's let's recognize him. And I think it's important to recognize our associate producer of the Dana show, Mr. Steve Steve Jones. Not only does Steve have to suffer behind the microphone and monitor every word from every guest, just to make sure that if a curse word is released, he can hit that magical dump button, dump button and eliminate that word and some other important words, unfortunately, eliminate and then get the heart rate back to normal.

Normal. Most people do not experience the suffering that our associate producer, Steve Jones, experiences with every guest and especially the ones that are known to get a little saucy, dropping F-bombs. So today we recognize our associate producer, Steve Jones for the Dana show. Sir, congratulations. Without you, we could not deliver such high quality programing for the ear holes of all our listeners. Thank you, Steve Jones, fireworks and thank you, trophies, Radio America, Eagles cheering Steve and seeing.

That's a that's a radio, whatever the hell they get for that, that's that. Got it. OK, he made it. He made his speech and use released and ear holes in the same speech. Take notes.

And guess what? You're welcome. And I didn't dump either. You're welcome, dude. You're welcome. You're welcome for that. Yeah, you're welcome. Just amazing. Now you can go clip that out and put it up in your cubicle. Oh, thank you.

You're welcome. So you're just like send you a trophy. Yeah. So I hope today we're not going to expect to get any curse words from Darryl Isa. No, I don't think Darryl Isa has joints. No, I think he's just one tall, stiff dude and he comes in, he walks like a flat Stanley and he just sits. You know how like Barbie couldn't bend her knees for a long time, right?

Like he just sits and his legs stick out straight. So I'm not guessing. Yeah, he's yeah, he's no, not him. The ATF whistleblower.

No, I don't know. No, but he's aware of this guy. He's aware. I don't know this guy, but he is. You know, he's the whistleblower on the Fast and Furious situation. And he knows I'm like those ATF guys. I know some ATF guys. Yeah, but they know those mics and it's like something kicks in and they're like, I know I can't say these things on this mark.

I probably know where they hit. Well, I got practice now. So if for any godly reason, he feels the need to do it, I'm more. Okay, he's going to Mr. T him when his hands are warmed up. He's Steve like went in and stretched.

He's our little, our own little Michael Cera there in DC. He went and stretched and got ready to hit that button. Were you just staring at it, dude? Were you just looking at it and going, hurry up, hurry up, store those seconds, store those seconds. So for the inside baseball folks, I have a screen, a little like widget on this little panel I have that says 30 seconds. And then when the first half bomb dropped, it drops to zero because everybody hears us on a 30 second delay. So when it goes to 30 seconds, yeah, so it goes to zero. 30 seconds. I don't know we have engineers, but it starts to build, but it takes about five minutes to get those 30 seconds back. So by the time the next one was dropped, I had like 1.3 seconds of time to get back to the dumb button quick.

So it only has what I built back up. So within that time, I nailed it each time. Yeah, every single time. So wait, five minutes, 30 seconds.

It seems slightly unfair. It is or else, yeah, yeah, you're gonna sound really weird. If it went faster, it would time stretch the audio and you would sound really robotic. Time stretch? What in the world?

This is like some Doctor Who stuff. It would sound noticeably like you're talking faster and then a little pitchier, a little bit higher. I sound like Ben Shapiro. Oh my gosh.

It wouldn't sound normal. Ben's a friend. So go and tell him. I don't care. No, it's true.

Yeah. Well, we'll tell him. We'll tell Mr. ATF Whistleblower, like, hey, we know you blew the whistle on the ATF and you got all the shady stuff like out in the open, but don't you be dropping no F bombs in these American radio.

Do you think this is Mexican radio? You can't do that stuff here. The only F words I want to hear are fast and furious. That's right. Oh, oh, and the crowd goes wild.

The crowd. All right, so we had to acknowledge Steve. I hope that I hope that I hope the folks at Radio America. I hope they come in and give you a pat on the back. Mike Paradiso. Go and give him a pat on the back. Pat.

Appreciate you, buddy. Back. Pat.

Back. Pat. He needs one. He deserves it. Like I said, we're here in Vegas. Shacho.

And, uh, we got, there's, it's, there's all kinds of, they had, uh, what is it? Uh, the guy was Cain. Who's Glenn Jacobs.

He's the mayor of Knoxville County. He was, he was here yesterday. And then I saw Braun Stroman yesterday.

There's a, the folks who do Cryptac. There was an event. Saw him yesterday. Uh, super nice guys. And, uh, everybody, I mean, it's just, it's a, it's a, it's a nice event that they have every single year. So we come out and today's our last day broadcasting here, as you said, as you know. So we've been covering everything. One thing we haven't heard a lot about from anybody is any of the RNC stuff. I don't think people care about RNC drama except nerds like us. And I care about RNC drama because I think there's a bunch of jack wagons about ready to fubar a whole bunch of things up, got all these broke parties.

Now they said that they're leaning towards Trump being the presumptive nominee and to his credit, Trump came out and was like, we're going to do this the old fashioned way. And you know, we're not, I think he just saw that there was, and there, there are still people, look, here's one of the things you got, you got to realize that not everyone is as strategic or as Machiavellian as we might be. Like I said, if I, I love dogs, but if I got to run you over and your family and your dog and your sister and whatever to win in 24, like I will, right, you know, it's going to happen. It's going to come with my giant steamroller and you know, I'm not going to honk as a courtesy. But there are people who, you know, they need they give them a beat, right?

Give them a minute to get over stuff and let things play out and let them come to you know, it doesn't have to be so damn tribal. I always hate that. It's like you want to win. You got to go to war with the soldiers you got you got to inch towards however you want to. You got to try to take ground and not give it up. And so just before you turn people away, because I'm gonna tell you, I see folks out there who are like, Okay, well, if you then you can't be on the MAGA train, oh my gosh, there's no damn train.

Stop it. People are voting and you want to win in 24. No one elected you the king blank of blank mountain.

There are no bouncers. There's none of that stuff. Shush, you're gonna need every single one of those people if you want to win in 2024. So y'all be making some friends instead of making some frenemies.

Think about it like that. You want to win because you're gonna need them. You're gonna need them. You're gonna need everyone. We don't got no time for that. All right, so I'm gonna be following all the latest too with the border stuff. I feel like I want to get some razor wire and go down and put it up down there.

We got some friends down there in our McAllen area. Exactly. I'm saying so we got a lot of stuff to get up including I can do you want me to read this here before we go to do you want me to go? This is the Yeah, okay, so we got I have to share this with you because I thought it was funny.

You know how you get the AI stuff? I don't like it. I don't like all this from the internet. I didn't write this a I did and it's called USA gun poem. And the prompt is write a poem in the style of Dr. Seuss about what would happen if the government of the United States sent its military to fight civilians. Are you ready? Okay, here we go.

I'm just gonna say you should just give them a little bit and then get the rest on Twitter or something. Okay, now, shooty, shooty, pew, pew, pew, let's all learn what guns can do liberals in the USA love to nod their heads and say, you brought your gun you bought your guns from a store. You can't fight a civil war.

Fight the army, you will lose. They have jets and tanks to use. That's not where the story ends. They have homes and kids and friends. tyrants threaten you with bombs.

Just remember, they have moms. You can't live inside your jet. Can we find you?

Yes, you bet. States and soldiers and Marines up against AR-15s, they're outnumbered 10 to one. That is why I need a gun. Don't forget because it's true.

Government is scared of you. It's funny. It's super funny. It's all good fun.

Everybody on Clench. All right. We got more on the way. Hi, I'm Adriana, a politics major at Hillsdale College. Here's Hillsdale President Dr. Larry Arnn with a Constitution Minute. America's founders recognized an obvious fact of life. Human beings differ in terms of physical attributes and talents.

Because of this, some people will be better at some things than they are at others. But they also recognize that the tall and the short among us, the swift and the slow among us are still human beings if we are recognizable as human beings. And therefore, we are equal in terms of the rights that pertain to human beings, rights attached to human nature, rights that come from God. The Declaration of Independence names three of the big ones, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Exercising these rights is necessary if we are to be truly free. In our own time, many influential people believe that only government can decide what our rights should be. This is dangerous. Understanding our rights and how the Constitution protects them is vital to our freedom.

To learn more and get a free pocket Constitution, visit Constitutionminute.com. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. All right, so first up, the average American has $65,100 in their savings account. Yeah, I'm calling shenanigans. I'm calling shenanigans. That's the average American?

Yeah. That's a lie. A dang lie. Nobody believes this.

It comes from finance. I'm not even going to deep dive into it because no, no. So apparently, the Amazon ring, they're not going to share their videos anymore.

So they're not going to share their give the cops all the ring videos they want policy. That was the... Yeah. That was kind of it.

Yeah. You're right. I didn't even know that they just were pretty much like, yeah, whatever you guys need, we're here.

But they did. I mean, I thought, you know, here's a warrant, but no, that's really not how it worked. But they said that they're going to stop that so that people feel a little bit better about the privacy and safety and all that kind of stuff. I mean, the only thing that mine would see that my doorbell camera or all our cameras around is like me yelling at squirrels or trying to talk to wildlife or something like that. You know, trying to chase the geese that come and land in my yard, just, you know, that's pretty much all it would get, you know, trying to catch them and be like, what if I build you a pond as they run after them and they run away? I am the only person that would scare geese. You know, you're scared geese. You know, you hear like, oh, don't make that goose metal. Come get you.

No, no, no. The geese are like, that woman's nuts. Run.

Run. That's not like a duck, though, didn't it? Okay. South Korea warns against the social media trend of eating fried toothpicks, toothpicks. They look like vegetable straws.

So you know what? You just eat the vegetable straw. You eat a toothpick that's been fried, literally just, yeah, just it's that's nasty.

And ow. Are things that bad economically, you're eating fried toothpicks? I don't know. I don't. Yeah, I don't know what that.

No, I like this headline, because it just seems like there's more to meat than meets the eye here. A man is dead after an experiment with explosives in Carbon County. Yeah, like, you know, when you experiment with explosives, you know, it can go wrong. They said there was an explosion that happened Wednesday in a home near Leighton, according to Channel 16 ABC in Pennsylvania. It was an apparent explosion. He was experimenting with explosives, and it caused an accidental blast and killed him.

Oh, and he lived alone with his dog. Oh, I hope his dog's okay and someone nice has it. That's so bad. Yeah, don't. Why would you do that?

Don't do that. A Hampton's mansion. Hampton's mansion once listed for one hundred and fifty million, only sells for ninety million. How will they ever make it?

How will they live? Oh, my gosh. Is it Barack Obama's Hampton mansion?

You know, the one that he bought after he was telling everybody that the sea levels were going to like rise and, you know, all that stuff. I just, you know, carry on. But anyway. Yeah.

So I don't really care. Beer brewed here. It is used to make the brew beer. Oh, Earth Rider, thanks for the Great Lakes.

I wonder why. What the hell? The brew beer beard here. Do you beer brew? Do you beer brew? I know you can brew beer, but can you beer brew? I mean, the brew beard here.

I mean, it's great beard brew here, bro. That's Joe Biden. You can hear him.

And if you've never, ever had alcohol, that's what it feels like. That's it. Welcome back to the show.

Dana Lashar with you. It's the beer brew here, bro. It's brew beard here, bro. It's like blah blah blah blah blah blog.

It's like Arrested Development. Oh, my gosh. He was where was he at? He's in Wisconsin. He's just nuts.

Listen, audio somebody 10. Is this the brew beard here? Is this what he's talking about? He got real mad. All of a sudden. It's just working. Two. Sorry. Two. Not ten. That's Newsome.

I don't want to hear him. It cost ten bucks to make it. Ten bucks to make it. What? What the heck? Is that it cost ten bucks to make the brew beard there, bro?

It's kind of expensive. What is it? Some IPA? I don't even know, man. Local brew?

You know what IPA stands for? No. What? Bittersludge. What? Who said that? You're not wrong. There's a bug in the system. So, I don't know. Man, this, this, I mean, we have some crazy soundbites from him.

Like, for instance, audio soundbites six. This is a classic stage whispering. And thanks to the outstanding senators, Tammy Baldwin of Wisconsin, and Amy Klobuchar and Tina Smith from the state of Minnesota. If I have all three of them on my side, I don't worry about anything. Why are you whispering? That sounds so creepy. Oh, it's super creepy.

I'm under your bed. Hey, um, have you heard of infrastructure, sir? Of what? In infrastructure, sir?

I have not. Well, apparently, I guess you don't know your government cane, audio soundbite five. I'm proud to announce $1 billion from the bipartisan infrastructure law will be- You know how sometimes Dean Martin would pretend to be drunk and then he would sing and it would sound super snazzy? It was like he was trying to pull that off in a speech.

Joe Biden wasn't. It didn't work. So he says that he's going to- it's like some Dr. Evil stuff. One billion from the bipartisan infrastructure law. What? Or a Burl Ives sing a holly jolly Christmas.

He just like gave up and was like, holly jolly Christmas. The bipartisan infrastructure law. What?

The bipartisan infrastructure law. What? Dude, it's your deal. You cannot tell me this dude has not had a stroke. For real. Come on. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.