Absurd Truth: Florida State Snub

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions.

It's time for Florida Man. his job. He transports the worst of the prison system. He was transporting prison inmates.

He quit his job literally in the middle of his job. He was driving a van full of prison inmates, and just decided to quit. While he was driving. He was in North Carolina deputies got a call to be on the lookout for an inmate transport van traveling in Statesville, North Carolina. And they said the driver was of course they he refused to return the van. He had four inmates in the lot cargo area. Another employee traveling text to the company owner. He said he was quitting his job in the middle of the trip and he wasn't going to stop. He finally stopped the van in the middle of a highway. Well, deputy stopped it. And he was charged with five counts of felony second degree kidnapping and felony larceny by an employee. Like if you're going to quit your job, you you've got to you can't do it like literally while you're doing it.

Yeah, exactly. I saw this. This is over at wesh2. So I saw someone somebody shared this on Twitter. I saw somebody listener shared it on Twitter. And we're saying that well, I guess the Florida woman didn't see this company coming. She's a psychic. And apparently, Madam Catherine fortune telling a car like crashed right through her house.

Right through the living room area. Yeah, the driver apparently had a seizure while they were driving and the drivers in stable condition. It's not clear if it was I mean, the the thought is that it was during while the passenger while the driver was driving. But they say that they had some another person that was transported to the local hospital with minor injuries. It resulted in structural damage to the home.

Goodness. Let's see this headline Florida man charged after assaulting a wife with a sausage. Police say that alcohol may have been a factor. You think it was you think the alcohol is a factor? The affidavit doesn't say what kind of sausage the wife was pelted with. This is smoking gun.

Ray Allen 61. He was released from custody. This was in St. Petersburg.

It was on Saturday. Judge told him do not have any contact with your wife. And they said that he had they had a verbal altercation Saturday afternoon. And he struck her in the face with a sausage. And they said I love the the affidavit goes that alcohol was likely a factor. I know.

The affidavit does not confirm Cain whether or not it was a Patty or a link. Sausage. Yeah. Okay. That's a because I think that I mean, if it's if we're talking like a Jimmy Dean link, those are pretty small. Yeah. Right. Like you'd break one on somebody's face.

He hit him with it. You know, I'm saying I'm like a summer sausage. You could pretty much beat somebody.

You could. You could beat somebody to death with a summer sausage. But now they didn't say if it was a summer sausage or not.

I mean, I don't know. They said that they they washed the victim's right eye out with saline. So the uncooked meat wouldn't cause an infection. So it doesn't sound like summer sausage because that's cured. So this is so this is if it's an uncooked sausage.

Yeah. What kind of what kind was it? Don't be doing your don't be doing your sausage like that. Don't don't be not be hitting people like that because you know, good heavens. Oh, let's see.

I'm gonna have to save this one for tomorrow. I'm not even going to hint at what it is. It's just nuts. Boom. There may be one hint. Then I'm going to have you guys explain some football stuff to me. Because I think that first off that we had this whole thing with FSU and Bama.

Trump Trump goes let's blame to sanctimonious. Okay. I feel like we got a tail and two responses with things here. That was not needed. Explain to me something about the FSU thing because as you guys know, I'm a football genius.

If you believe that I have a bridge to sell you. And it's Florida State College football playoffs. And apparently, Alabama was chosen over undefeated FSU. And I'm trying to figure out how you can be undefeated. Didn't they have I read that they had a 31 yard touchdown pass to beat Auburn a week ago. But someone was saying, Oh, but they're very average.

So like, that counts less or something. Kane and Steve, please explain. I was there to explain. They're undefeated. They did.

They were like, they got robbed. Yeah, I think so. But I mean, they will be in the Orange Bowl. But I don't know. I mean, if I'm the team, I'd be considering some sort of pushback to this. Can you pushback? I mean, there's no appeal is there? I don't know. Maybe if they boycott the Orange Bowl or something. I don't know what they could do. Trump was on his platform.

And he goes, it's the he goes, they become the first power five team. This is what he wrote to be left out of college football playoffs. Really bad lobbying effort.

Let's blame to sanctimonious, which I don't know how it doesn't make sense. I don't know how the Florida Gov. I don't know how that would he invite? When you invite more criticism if he'd had been involved in some kind of lobbying effort? Maybe. Is there a lobbying effort to even get Steve? How does that work? Do they lobby people? Like, do you have like a football lobby group to make that happen? There's like a it's a committee. It's a college football playoff selection committee. And there's like former coaches and a bunch of other NCAA people that just get in a room and they just pick doesn't really have any logic to it. This is like an episode of South Park.

Yeah. And out of the four, I would be I don't know what I would do. I mean, I worked the entire year. I played the entire year for nothing is kind of what I would be thinking if I was one of the players.

And what if you were a senior last season? What a robbery. Now, some were saying that it's the sports media sycophancy and fear of Nick Saban.

And I've seen some people say it's just gross. Now, I know that Jordan Travis and that was their best player that FSU had. How does Travis getting hurt? Take them out of it? I don't get that. Like, how was that used as a especially when they're undefeated?

How do you use that in your factoring process to keep a team out? That doesn't make any sense to me. No, it doesn't. It would mean like an excuse.

It is. And I think that's what the committee quote unquote. You know, when when they have these discussions, they start interjecting these types of things like, oh, they have a hurt player. Let's just push them down on the list.

And not based on performance, but based on who's on the injured list. That's that's so lame. It's weird. Look, I because I'm a football genius, you know, me with the football.

I don't know. That just seems so incredibly that so that just seems so lame to me. I actually think I like I know more about college football than I do NFL. I don't know why that is.

I think because now please don't take this the wrong way. I am not I like sports for this the skill of it. But I've never gotten in except for the Cardinals.

That's God's team. And I'm talking about the baseball Cardinals, not the traders that play pigskin. But I really don't get into a lot of it because I have a very cynical view of sports and the sports team like fervor that surrounds it. It is probably the most cynical view someone could take. I've had friends tell me that they don't like talking to me about sports stuff because I suck the joy out of life. And they say it jokingly, but they're totally honest.

And I agree with them. I just don't get into it. Like I have friends that like get into all the Cowboys stuff. And they're like, you know, I don't dislike the Cowboys.

I mean, you have to say that living in Dallas, they'll come get you like a whole thing. But I feel a little bit like it's some bread and circuses. And I mean, like the whole saying back in the Roman days, where why do we have gladiators? And why do we do all of this?

Oh, well, we'll distract everyone with bread and circuses. I sort of feel that it's like that in a way. But then at the same time, I also think that it's a it's actually a really smart thing that community leaders can do to bring in revenue to the city and foster city pride and, and fellowship and all of that. So I see both sides of it. But I just very cynically, I cannot get myself excited about stuff to that point. Like I one of my kids goes to college, and it's very big football. And you know, you kind of have to adopt it. You know what I'm saying? But I'm just not as I mean, I've seen moms literally paint their face.

Like the colors of the of the team. I just don't think I could go that far. But you know, kudos to those who do is that I don't think that's cynical. I feel like I'm being very generous and realist, right?

I don't know. I did like I did. I do like the I didn't really get into the Cardinals. We lived in St. Louis. And I still do whenever they're in playoffs, October particularly, because my husband and I, our anniversary falls towards the end of October. And I can't tell you how many times we've been a nice restaurant celebrating our anniversary. And we're both got the MLB app up.

And we are watching to see how the cards are doing. That is literally the only time I will ever get really into it. That's it.

So because you know, it's Red October. Anyway, that's just sad. I feel bad for their players. So one last quick question for Stephen Cain. I'm going to move on.

So is there any way to appeal this or this is like a done decision this time around? I know Steve said that everything changes. We talked about this on break and he said everything changes next year. This is the last year for this. That's not really much of a salve to the wounds of the seniors that are at FSU now. Right. So I mean, it is what it is. I mean, I don't think there is any going back. That's so lame.

There's no appeal process that I'm aware of. Really? That's so lame.

Because they got to book travel and hotels and all that stuff. So that's done. But I mean, the real reason is they want the TV rating just bam in there. That's that's what I think. Yeah. And then beat their beat the team in their conference. I don't think that Alabama would be jumping or FSU would be jumping Alabama in that case. So the roles being reversed. It doesn't look like that would ever happen.

But somehow it happened with FSU. Yeah. Our partners, our friends over at Kel-Tec, the PMR 30. It stands for pistol. Now you get the PMR and the CMR. CMR is like the big brother of the PMR. CMR is the carbine.

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It's time for Dana's quick five. This is a weird story. It's apparently parents do not realize that kids are failing. Because too many report cards just simply say that they're getting A's and B's.

They said that there's there's this is something that they've noticed. Gallup and an educational, I guess, company published a survey of K through 12 public school parents. And it said that nearly nine in 10 parents believe that their child was at or above grade level even after the pandemic. However, when they compared the parents assessment to the actual academic performance data, as gathered by the National Assessment of educational progress, they said that the awareness gap between parent perception and student performance is a massive problem. The actual percentage working of students working at grade level is about 50% at best.

Wow. And they said that they think what's driving the awareness gap is report cards. Because apparently, when you have one grade that just goes across everything, and they don't break it down, because apparently they've changed the way grading the assessment is is shown on, you know, quarterly and midterms.

One grade ignores all the nuance and all of the other areas of mastery. And it just looks, it just looks like it's kind of covered up. Maybe they needed to kind of alter that because I do think it's giving parents and they have a lot of receipts to back this up. That does seem, you know, interesting. A George Santos movie is in the works.

Of course it is at HBO films. And it's behind the people who do Veep, which I've never watched. So I don't know if that's going to be funny, or if that's a good thing.

But I can't I mean, he is basically a character. But that's gonna be very guy with the most the most conservative New York lawmaker. And they got it. They kicked him out of the house. You're kidding me.

The House of Commons. This is some British news. I don't like these two.

So I think it's kind of funny. They're being told I don't understand the process to this. But they're being told to strip that redheaded prince, the spare and his super annoying z list suitcase, brave girl, briefcase girl, wife who was on some like D list cable show, and she wasn't even a star on it. After the latest installment, they've been I just think the couple's annoying.

And I don't know, like, how do you have a title and you're here in the United States? It's so stupid. It's just people are thirsty.

Noise cameras are coming to New York to punish loud drivers as complaints surge. 23andMe says that hackers access a significant number of files about their users ancestry. This is from TechCrunch. Okay, so I swear like just three months ago, we had this about another one of these type of companies.

I don't think those companies are safe. I think stick with us. We're gonna do a big deportation. We're gonna get those bad ones out.

Remember, mental institutions, prisons and terrorists are pouring into our country. We right now the largest caravan that was my term. I think I have a lot of terms, a lot of good terms. But caravan was my term.

What are you up and up over there for? The man invented the word. It's never been used before. I don't believe that's true.

Why are you such a Nazi? I'm not sure that's true either. No one knew this word caravan until he made it a term. The 16th century word? That's not the word that they used. They used a bunch of wagons. Came from the original Persian word?

Yeah, they just they used a bunch of a bunch of wagons. That's what it was that. And then I think the translation, like roughly sounded like that word. But it wasn't a word till Trump said it were like caravan. What's this word? Never heard this word before. Never heard this word before. And then we started like, like, Oh, well, I guess we'll use this word now. It's now been put into the parlance of our time. You laugh, but it's true.

You're just jealous that your wordsmith skills aren't up to snuff. Welcome to the show. I cannot I don't know what kind of mood I'm in. I'm in a hate everything. Burn it all down.

Follow a lot deck my halls. He knows that the Dodge, the Dodge caravan actually came out in like 1984. Well, is it caravan or caravan? I don't know what you said there. Two different things. The I mean, the Dodge Caravan. Are you okay?

Yeah, it was that word didn't exist until he was in the White House. What's the matter with you? I'm not inclined to believe it for some reason. Well, he said that. Is that weird? For me not to want to believe it? Who do you want to believe? He just said that.

And or my own life experience. That's weird. Maybe you were saying the name of your car wrong this whole time. It's the Caravan.

It's what it was totally different from caravan. Oh, well, gosh, I mean, since you said it like that, that's like saying that, you know, it's it's No, it's not like tomato, tomato. Stop it.

Some one of you literally just emailed me one of you people out there literally emailed. Stop it. So Caravan. It's a totally different word. Caravan Caravan. Yeah, potato. Because Caravan.

I mean, think about it. Care. cares about vans of people. Like a phrase care for vans, care of vans care like it is. It doesn't make sense to say care about vans. There's too many syllables.

Caravans care of the vans that are transporting the people. That's probably what he means. Do other people by DHS shut up. Do other people have to get permission to use that word?

No, I don't know. He ought to trademark it. He says it's his term. He should trademark his term. I would trademark all my terms and just slap it slap slap people for actually got to use it in in order to be able to claim a word you have to use in commerce.

So unless you can prove that you made money with it first, then, which you know, now that you say that, Cain, you bring up a good word, you have to use it. point about the Dodge Caravan. I'm just saying so.

But we Caravan Caravan, but that's, you know, I guess not all of us are super knowledgeable about automobiles. Welcome back to the program. As I said, you're lovable, not lovable at all today. You're just total. We in vinegar, curmudgeon hostess, Dana lash here with you. And so I just, there's, we got Iowa coming up. Everybody's all everybody's kissing the ring of Iowa.

Everybody's over. I love the primaries, though. The early states.

Right? Every politician of every party of every stripe of every affiliation. They make their way up to Iowa. I love corn. Me and my family corn all the time.

We don't even put a Christmas tree up. It's just a tree made of different corns on the cobs. I sit on Bay Hale. Bay Hale.

Bay Hale. You just are making fun of me because you didn't know that Dodge Caravan. Bales of hay while I eat my corn. Yeah, in front of a camera. Yeah, yeah. I mean, meats on stick.

I mean, it makes sense. But yeah, I love the people like, Oh, yeah, I love corn. It's delicious. I eat corn all the time. And then it's like, let's bring our whole family up.

Let's bring grandma up. Look at all of us. We all eat corn.

That's so much we love. I eat the corn corn corn corn. Love corn so much.

I put cornfield in my house. Yeah, I mean, it's hysterical. I love it. It's an Iowa. God love them like football and the first caucus state. They are living their best life right now. They're getting all of this attention from all of these.

You know, these politicians. Everybody's loving on Iowa. I was like, the most popular girl to dance right now. Like, thank you. Thank you. They love it. Yeah, what did you corn flakes, corn grits, corn on the cob, corn brew leg. Cream corn, corn dogs, corn meal, corn chips, corn pop. There it is.

Carathon. So the everybody's going to everybody loves them some Iowa. And we'll see we'll see how this turns out for people. 99 counties there. Yeah, a lot of counties there.

Can I just say one more thing? I do think Iowa and we talked about this already. I just have to say it again. I am amazed at how neat and tidy their county boundaries are. Well done. Well done, Iowa. It's not like some of these other states where they're like, I'll just throw some noodles on the map and wherever the noodles are. That's how they lean.

That's where we'll draw the boundaries for our districts, our counties. Subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcast.