Absurd Truth: The Non-Fighting Irish

It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Here's the headline. This tree was even older than Jesus. Here's how a Florida woman burned it down. And what they said, they bored a hole into the tree, they counted the rings on the trunk. So it was like the fifth oldest tree in the world, they said. And then on January 16 of 2012, it was reduced to a stump because some some lady burned it. That's like so horrible.

They thought that she was trafficking drugs and she was found guilty of meth possession. So of course a meth had burned the damn thing down. And that's it.

So it's a stump now. That's so depressing. Isn't it depressing? I just depressed you. That's so sad.

Oh, boy. Here we got this guy Florida Man claims meth was planted in his underwear. He says he believed it was Advil. I don't I have literally never seen meth. Does it look like Advil? Like the capsules? Like wait, like what kind of Advil? I've seen Breaking Bad and I don't think any of that meth looked like Advil. Hang on.

Wait, don't laugh at me for a minute. What does meth look like? Images?

Let's look here. Oh, they look like crystals. It's like a little crystal. Looks like salt flakes. I did not know that.

I am now right now years old. I did not know what meth looked like. So it's like, it looks like giant flakes of salt. Right? Okay.

All right. That doesn't look like Advil. So a Florida Man says that the meth that the cops found in his underwear. He thought it was Advil. And he doesn't know who put it there.

Caleb Phillips was changing into his jail clothes when an officer found it 40. His guy's 46 years old. How is this male 46 years old? Can't hold this man look.

Dude, right? Wow is right. He's wow years old. Caleb Anthony Phillips said he didn't know how this stuff got here. He's changing from his civilian clothes to prison attire. According to the arrest affidavit Indian River County on Monday, he got a warrant failure to appear in connection with the DUI.

He's getting booked and that's when he got in big trouble. They found a cylinder containing what looked like, well, it was in his britches under his stuff. And he's like, Oh, I think that that's Advil. They tested it. It was so not Advil.

It was meth, a lot of meth. Our partners at Keltec the R50. I got the P52. I love the P50. This is like one of my favorite my favorite guns out there. It's five seven.

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That's keltechweapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you. Just finally in relation to the terrible events that that that occurred on Parnell Square on Thursday, you know, I really would ask people to try and avoid connecting crime with migration.

It's not Yes, people who may not be here in the country and Ireland legally I beg you not to please don't confuse that with criminality. Seriously, they're still going on about this. Welcome back to the program Dana last year with you top of the second hour. You can listen coast to coast, you can stream the radio program as well.

You can also follow along on YouTube, Facebook, Channel 347, DirecTV. Yeah, illegal migration. What's the name of the program? The name for that came The name for illegal migration? I mean, migrations fine.

But if you're trying to immigrate or enter a place, not in accordance with the law, there's a word for that. Crime? Yeah. Oh, is that it? That's right.

Thanks. I it's crime. It was right there. Yeah, so weird that the Irish Prime Minister wants to ask people to try and avoiding connecting crime with crime. What? You heard me?

I don't think I did. Yeah. Stop connecting crime with crime.

Very simple. But entering a country illegally is a huh? It's a crime. Okay, but don't assume that the crime is also related to crime.

But it's a crime. Uh huh. Do you see how ridiculous this is? That's them right now. They haven't changed.

They haven't changed. And this is all due to the it's all fallout still from the riots and everything after this this Algerian guy went crazy. And they're still they were trying to figure out if he was in the country legally or not. And he stabbed outside of a primary school. He stabbed almost killed a five year old girl stabbed another woman. And then Conor McGregor spoke out about it. And they had 34 people arrested. And then the Irish, the Irish police started investigating Conor McGregor. He even though he was like a change, he criticized the government and he condemned the violence.

But you can't criticize the government there. So there he's been he's been investigated. Now, let me understand.

This is one thing I've never understood. Let me give you a little insight into my family history. I come from and I'm a true American. I come from all I'm a mutt. I mean, I'm literally a one person melting pot. Everyone thinks that I'm something or other. They think I'm Italian.

They think I'm this. Our family is actually the main two veins of our family's ancestry is American Indian and Irish. And that goes up to my grandfather and then my great, great grandparents. A set of them were super Irish. And I've never because, you know, there's always jokes in our family about, you know, our ancestry and where we come from and things like that. And, you know, the combination of the two. And then somewhere we're far back, we got like we got like Norwegian somehow.

I have no idea how, but apparently Norwegian and then came through the Carolinas and then I have a great times question mark grandfather who was hung off the Carolinas for piracy. So I'm going to revert back to Mike. My culture isn't your costume. Whenever I see anybody do a talk like a pirate day, but I'm only going to do it as a progressive left.

You all get a pass. Anyway, my whole point in bringing this up is there is a stereotype about the Irish, the fighting Irish, right? There's a stereotype. I mean, and it's one that I have friends who live part time in Ireland and they embrace it wholeheartedly. The fighting Irish, you don't take nothing from nobody.

And it's just, you know, it's just a long, revered, cherished perception, which is why I'm bewildered when the government's like, no, you can't do that. And Irish people are like, OK. What? What are you talking about?

I mean, I have a story. So one of my friends who lives part time in Ireland, lives part time in Ireland and then is in New York the rest of the time, was saying that it was her younger brother and his friends that got it was their friends. They had a disagreement. They got into a brawl. They were told to take it outside the pub. They went to the street brawl, made up, went back inside, had another pint. And that's just the nature of things, right?

I mean, good natured. Go out, get it out of your system. But then the government tells you you can't do something. Where does that fighting spirit go?

I mean, they had people out in the street rioting and Conor McGregor was speaking out. Now you got the Irish police saying we're going to investigate you. My response.

Do you want to know? I feel like some of you don't really want to know what my response would be. I would probably do the D generation X move while telling them to investigate D's pecans. That would have been my response. I'm not joking you.

I would have been arrested so many times. And that's what I don't get. Why would you? Why? Don't abide that.

Don't abide that. I mean, they're talking about investigating Conor McGregor for crying out loud. I read Conor McGregor's tweets when I first heard that he had said something about all the riots and everything. I thought, Oh, my gosh, what did he say? We got to go look, I was I don't know what I was expecting.

I guess I was anticipating that it was going to be so like over the top. Because he's being investigated by the Irish police. I mean, surely they will.

Oh, yes, they would. He's all literally I read the tweets the other day. He's like, Oh, there's grave danger among us in Ireland should never be in the first place. And he's talking about ignoring the law coming into the country.

And then he also talks about the importance of, you know, just making sure that you're polite to the people that live in the country to which you're immigrating to, just as you would be to them and theirs, you know, I mean, it extends both ways. Oh, apparently, that's bad. And then Oh, heaven forbid, he went and criticized Cain. He went and he criticized the government. He went stole their lucky charms he did. He went criticize the government. And so now they have to have a full blown investigation into him. Bringing me to my point that if I were him, I would do D generation x move and tell them to come investigate these pecans.

You're welcome. Could have said cashews as well. Sometimes I don't know which one I prefer more.

Taste wise, you know, I mean, there's so many things you could do with a pecan. Anyway, that's beside the point. Yeah, you can't criticize anybody over there. It's not not allowed.

It's not allowed. So then it makes me wonder, it's just, you know, what is the Fighting Irish then? What's where's the fighting spirit? Come on?

Where's that at? Where is it all these western governments? That's one of the most terrifying.

We talked a little bit about this yesterday. That's one of the most terrifying developments that I've seen in the past 20 years. These governments turning on its own free people for exercising the freedoms that they have.

Huh? Or for daring to expect that other people follow the law. Hey, we got to follow the law.

You got to follow it too. Oh, that's mean of you. You can't say that.

If you tell people, yeah, if you want to come into the country, come into it legally the way that we would come into your country. Oh, you can't say that. That's mean. That's mean of you. You can't be saying those things now.

I don't know why I'm still talking like Irish cop, but you know, works. You can't say those things. It's mean spirited. No, just not brotherly love. It's mean to sit here and talk about that. Oh, the border should be open. Should it though?

It's mean to have a need to disagree otherwise. But you have all these governments like, you know, the what you saw with after October 7, and then our government comes out like, Oh, well, we got to really focus on the Islamophobia. Yeah, it's Islamophobia. I mean, you got Jewish teachers being locked into classrooms for their own protection students be locked in a broom closets for their own protection. Hate crimes.

I hate that phrase. But to use the words of the left, people targeting Jewish businesses vandalizing them. It's like the 1930s all over again.

Oh, my gosh. And then the Western government, our governments are criticizing the people who speak out and say, Hey, didn't y'all live this before? Someone go rouse Jimmy Carter if he can be roused from his deathly slumber and maybe ask him. He was around. It's also to blame for everything that's happening in the Middle East.

But that's why I don't know why we're lionizing him now. But you know, that breaks. Anyway, and now all of the news you would probably miss.

It's time for Dana's quick five. So as we were talking about some of the hostages that Hamas has in custody, the IDF is now looking into claims just reported that the family the mother with the eight month old or the nine month old and then the four year old that Hamas is claiming that they were killed. So this has happened before, though, they've claimed that Emily Han, for instance, was killed and she was not. So the IDF before any verifications taking place, they're trying to investigate the veracity of those claims. But that came from J Post and several other sources on this. I really hope not.

I think we all really hope not because goodness, that's just that. And that's just a horrific you almost need a moment to process it. Also, UK studies shows that memory problems and cognitive loss have now been tied to the lockdowns very unsurprising. The stringent lockdown measures that were implemented across the world were found to be have negatively impacted the working memory and cognitive function, particularly of older individuals. Now there are raised concerns about elevated risks of dementia, according to a very comprehensive UK study, which published its findings this week.

The University of Exeter and King's College London in collaboration with our NHS over there, they revealed these impacts. And they said they looked at over 3000 people, the average age was 67. And they said that they're still they said the effects of these measures are yet to be fully established, but they're very troubled. In fact, they're very nervous about what they've discovered with cognitive decline on this.

So that's something else. Also, North Korea claims that a spy satellite took photos of the White House. Now what North Korea is going to be really shocked about is I also can see photos of the White House using a thing called Google Maps.

Let's see 813,000 borrowers get email from President Joe Biden on student loan forgiveness, they're still pushing that we're going to come back and touch on this, because they sent emails out to these borrowers that forgiveness, you just don't have to pay back the money that you owe others. Imagine you try to do that in any other facet of life. The CIA apparently has a secret office that's conducted UFO retrieval missions on at least nine crash sites around the world according to missile blowers men in black. Speaking of aliens cave aliens, an eerie trio alien like humanoid figures with giant heads were found painted in an African cave leave leaving scientists baffled according to the sun. Or they could just be like giant like fish or something like with bird I don't know, but they said that they're they're cave aliens. I do think that they think everything looks like an alien though, like these researchers this is very Monty Python us they go back and they find something and then they construe this, you know, fantastical thing around it and I don't know, we have a lot more on the way stick with us. I do believe also that we should evaluate risk. There's a lot of discussion on AI, that is about existential risks, and those are real but one should also ask as existential to who.

So we have an image of the Terminator and Arnold Schwarzenegger and the machine and right machine versus man, and many would argue that that is something that we should take seriously as a possibility, it is not a current threat. Um, ma'am, are you high? Ma'am, this is this is a Wendy's. That's our super smart VP. I was afraid I was taking your today in stupidity audio cane and you're like, No, I have so much more.

Yeah, she keeps talking. So what was this at? This was at some nobody pays attention where she goes, it was surplus of stupidity. Where? Where was this at?

Like, this is a forum. Yeah, she's doing some form with the New York Times right now. Some I guess, some deal book summit or something. I don't know what's going on with it. Does anybody?

Does anybody know? They send her to notice how they just send her off into the pasture on these like really weird, like these little weird events. And they just send her off these weird events. And then I mean, the thing is, they intentionally put her in front of an in friendly environments, like media friendly environment. And she still does this stuff. Is there cane and unburdened by what has been in the collection from her only about 70 that accent 70 different ones that exist on the internet. I mean, you could turn everything she says, and to, I mean, her all of her remarks, you can break it up into just a million little really ridiculous sound bites.

Because there's more there's a lot more of this. What was she saying that time was Is this is that the one that's okay, I'll save that. I'm not gonna I will get 40 seconds away.

Oh, I'll get on that. But yeah, oh, man. It's something else. I'm telling you.

That's a she's a heartbeat away. Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

I think that there is and coming up later this week. That's one of the things that we're going to discuss. Because I I think that people need to be very careful with the new something. I think there's some fire being played with here. That I think it has to be handled.

Very carefully. Alright, today's stupidity. I don't mean to take up. Alright, it is.

Yeah, we did tease it is our Vice President Kamala Harris. Alright. So, of all things that are chronological facts, I would think age is one of them age is definitely a chronology. I mean, that's how it's literally how you measure someone's age.

So let's hear what she has to say about to the point because it is a point that has been made. First of all, I would say that age is more than a chronological fact. What I spent a whole lot of time with our president. The only thing age is, is a chronological fact. That's like all age is, is chronological facts. To factually measure the time. Yeah, I mean, well, but yeah, that's believing there was much more today from that deal book summit with the New York Times.

What is age if it's not a chronological fact? I don't know. Who says this stuff? She's like a Martian. Who says these things? I can't we got a whole other two days in this week.

She's got more things. Folks, make sure you sign up for the newsletter over at Substack. I'll be back with you tomorrow behind the mic. Thanks for tuning into today's edition of Dana Lashes absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.