Absurd Truth: Thanksgiving Protests, Meats of Choice & More

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. An irate Florida man whacked a man with a leaf blower after a fender bender, say deputies. This took place in Lake County, Florida.

A Florida man found himself behind bars. He hit at this dude with a leaf blower after they had a little thunder dust up. Patrick Edison, 60, was arrested and charged with burglary with battery and criminal mischief after the incident that unfolded on Hibiscus Drive in Laysburg on late Saturday morning. Deputies were called to the scene of the crime and the victim said he was trying to operate GPS while driving and it caused his work truck to hit a trailer attached to another truck. And then that forced it to collide with another vehicle. And that's when he, that's when Edison apparently ran out of his house armed with a leaf blower. He was irate, bashed the leaf blower into the hood of the man's truck.

The victim opened the door to his truck. Edison met him at the driver's side. The man tried to tell him calm down.

But that's something that you don't tell either women or this Edison fellow. And he was socked with the leaf blower in response. And then he was trying to climb into the guy's truck while hitting him in the face. So there was witnesses.

He's in Lake County jail where he remains on $26,000 bond. Yeah, you can't you can't be doing that kind of stuff. All right, this one. Well, it's a story. This is a villages. A villager sentenced in a chair throwing disturbance at a Lake Sumter Landing restaurant. A villager that's literally how they describe them.

Like it's literally it's like the NPCs from Minecraft. They were sentenced in a chair throwing disturbance. Peter Hanat 54 of the village of Chatham pleaded no contest earlier this month battery trespassing. He showed up after closing time at RJ Gators restaurant. He'd been permanently banned. Just a month prior, he walked into the from the patio area. And when he couldn't get in, he decided to have a tantrum and start throwing all the chairs in the patio.

All of them. And an employee walked outside told him to leave. And then Hanat, who is five feet 11 and weighs 225 pounds pushed the dude and then threw more chairs.

It was all captured on video. Why would you do that? Like I mean, sometimes they're closed, dude. Just come earlier.

You know what I mean? Like you don't need to be getting yourself a permanent record and going to jail and all this stuff over it. A woman tried eating counterfeit bills as the cops arrested her to Miami Dade Airport. My sorry to Miami Dade Walmart police say she was trying to pay loss prevention officers caught her and she tried to eat them real quick before they could take the evidence. That's not going to happen.

Not gonna happen at all. They said Zipporah Abraham. She's 38 years old. And yeah, you can't she I mean, they she tried to eat like hundreds of dollars worth of counterfeit bills. That's crazy. They were trying to stop her. She just kept nominum like Cookie Monster there at the checkout. She tried eating them all and they had to like grab them try to fish them out of her mouth. That's so gross. Don't do that.

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You can disassemble it for cleaning or inspection without even using tools to learn more about it. And that the sub 2k and $100 rebate program visit Caltech weapons.com that's K e l t e c weapons.com tell them Dana sent you Did everybody have relatively good Thanksgiving? Have a great Thanksgiving? Yeah, I didn't hear any stories about people having fights at the Thanksgiving table. Everybody, did you did you watch the Thanksgiving Day parade?

I know people keep it was it's always horrible. I liked the when I was a kid and they had the misshapen floats and the weird terrifying characters. Go back and look at some of the stuff like in the early 90s and late 80s of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. There's some terrifying things there.

My mom said it was even more terrifying in the 70s. So because the just you know, I guess the tech wasn't there. Right to have like really nice looking, looking floats, but they had some terrorists.

Where's this at? That just were they pro Hamas people? Were they climate people?

I don't know. They're all I mean, they pull this up. They glued themselves to the street to try to disrupt the parade. Oh, they were the pro Hamas people. They were chanting on about the quote unquote liberation of a fictional country.

There is no I mean, the country is as fictional as the occupation is. But they said 30 protesters 30 30 criminals jumped over barricades, Hamas, terrorist loving lovers jumped into the street where the parade was occurring. And they very smartly glued that I would have just ripped him off. Just leave your fingerprints behind. They glued themselves to the street. I'm not kidding.

Like if you're going to be that stupid to do it, then that sucks for you. They said that the demonstrators covered themselves in red liquid. They were white jumpsuits. They had words capitalism, consumerism. I'm sure they recorded everything with their capitalist consumer phones, right? I'm sure they had to purchase things for their protest right to make their protest happen in order to make their protest happen.

The protest tours had to engage in capitalism and consumerism. Don't tell me that they made the paint. And they actually made the paper themselves. And they made the shoes that they're wearing and the tech that they're wearing. But they got is that the McDonald's they got in front of the McDonald's car. You had a weird looking grimace sitting in the car as a weird looking grimace.

This purple thing sitting in the car and the McDonald's people are like what and these people are gluing themselves to the street. Just rip them off and let it continue. That's simple. It's super easy to do, man.

Just just just have it be like that super easy. In fact, audio somebody 13. Here's a here's the video slash audio.

The pro Hamas people gluing themselves to Sixth Avenue. All right. Because the fictional country and our planet are two separate things apparently. Why is there like a watermelon in a sunflower? Is that supposed to mean something? Is this a troll? Were people getting trolled? This is like the lamest protest. This is like that's the lamest thing I've ever seen. So they have a very confusing sign.

Their messaging is all over the place. Let's grade them. Okay.

Let's grade them like Simon Cowell would. So first off, I don't even understand the white jumpsuit thing. That's just stupid. Number one. Number two, their sign said free the fictional country Palestine and the planet. Because apparently they're two separate things. Throwback to new kids on the block with their lyric.

We met a lot of people and girls like they're two separate things. And then on the sign on the banner, they had a piece of watermelon and a cornflower. Kane, any ideas here? No, no idea. Because they painted Palestine in red letters. Is that supposed to be a crescent or something? Is that why they picked a watermelon?

No idea. A crescent, a green crescent holding blood red, because that would make you know, makes more sense. Two items were they were they told, hey, for free, you can put two emojis on here. And they just did it for free. Like you get, you know, with included in the price of this banner, you can throw up there two emojis. And they're like, okay, well, we love watermelon.

And then maybe some cornflowers that are blue with the planet in it. I don't know. Right. It hurts to try and figure it out.

I'm really on the struggle bus with this one. So they want to liberate a fictional country, like literally a fictional country, and then also our planet. Liberate the planet from what? Their stupidity, perhaps?

I don't know. But that's the lamest float that was there. That was the lamest thing. I would have booed them. Boo, you're boring. Blank your protest. Boo. Totally not entertaining at all. Did they give free candy to the kids?

Nope. You know what they should have done? They should have tried to kidnap kids that were standing there watching it and then had their parents beat them in the street. That would have been an amazing float. That now I that would have been interesting.

And it would have probably been much more like real life too. But I don't understand their whole protest. They glued themselves to the street. If you glue your hands to the street, rip it off.

Super simple, like Velcro. Just you know, if you're gonna be dumb like that, go ahead. So that that took place over.

That was at the Macy's Day parade. And I, I did watch the dog show after. I did watch the West as much of it as I could. But you know, I watched some of the dog.

But I just don't understand. And apparently they they tried the same people. They tried interrupting the Nantucket Christmas tree lighting. There was another Christmas tree lighting that they that the pro Hamas people apparently tried to interrupt as well.

What do they have against the Christmas thing? Lorraine says that the the pro Hamas group is that they're similar to the just stop oil people who are morons. The just stop oil people use the same tactic. Yeah, they're pro Hamas.

I love the just stop oil people with their shoes made of petroleum, their clothes made with petroleum, driving in their vehicles, their phones, literally they're there because of petroleum, but they hate it, except when they love it. So amazing. Oh, and now all of the news you would probably miss.

It's time for Dana's quick five. American Indian group Suess, the NFL and the team owner, this is interesting, all over the Redskins name, the name change. They want to restore it.

Yeah, it's not what you think it is. There is a rival Native American organization that says that they did this all improperly. And they changed it to this dumb name, and we want it back. And they said that they were huge Redskins fans, our members were because they were red, they were the Redskins.

That was like the name of a warrior people. It's a bunch of white progressive communists that don't understand American Indian history. And so they want to project all of their ignorance onto certain things and really appropriate the meaning of words for minorities. That's what white communists do. They want to sit here and say, Well, we think that this is offensive. So we're going to appropriate the true meaning of this term and project our interpretation on it, our stupid white communist interpretation on it, and steal it from American Indians. That's what happened with this name. Like puny commies out there went with it.

They said that nine and 10 Native Americans were not offended by the Redskins name because they're not stupid, like the white communist star that want to pretend to be upset over everything. Gosh, I hate communism. Also, I'm gonna get really mad about that. So I'm bookmark that one.

You can buy. Okay, I don't want to like get into like Dusty Hill's life. He's ZZ Top. But I would not if you were to ask me, what would Dusty Hill's house look like? I would not have pictured the amazing four and a half million dollar stunning home in Texas Hill country.

But that's exact. I mean, it is gorgeous looking. It is such a pretty I mean, it's like modern looking and it's glass and metal. And, you know, it's their late basis and his wife, it hit the market for four and a half million. It's in College Station. It's on the market on the market is beautiful. I don't know why I thought that they would have had like a rockabilly type of house.

I don't even know what that looks like. But you know, that's what Dusty Hill's house and he's allowed to relive. So it's gorgeous house anyway. You know, you can have some history there.

You can buy his house. People are they said, I love this stupid story. They're now trying to say that people are leaving Texas over rising costs, partisan politics and a sense of disenchantment. Yes, please leave. Go ahead and go.

That's right. Go ahead and leave. Get out. Go ahead and go. There's no rising.

They just like there's and it's all it's all leftists that are in a Reddit sub thread, a subreddit about leaving Texas. You're right. It's bad here. So bad.

Don't don't stay much bad. So discontent. New report says housing prices have increased nine hundred and twenty five percent since 1960. That's insane. Because, you know, after World War Two, people bought a house, they stayed and raised their families to be able to buy it. I know your wage didn't increase nine hundred twenty five percent. But that's the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics pricing for housing.

Nine hundred and twenty seven percent higher and twenty three versus sixty seven. Stay with us a lot more in store. Kane and I were talking about Thanksgiving. We ate all our turkey. We only have a little bit of pumpkin pie left. How long should one have leftovers? I mean, I realize that like three days tops. But see, this is why I'm like, maybe like, I don't know, like a couple days after Thanksgiving, you make another thing because I just feel like to have one Thanksgiving Day meal like that Thanksgiving to electric boogaloo.

Yeah. Thanksgiving to electric boogaloo. I just I could eat Thanksgiving. I hate turkey, but I love it on Thanksgiving.

I don't know what it is. We like the gravy was the first thing to go. I am serious about the gravy, man. And I'm a good girl. I got good gravy. I'm a good gravy.

And I that's like the first thing to go. The mashed potatoes, mashed. It's like you can make a whole big bucket of them. Yeah, I mean, like a dozen big recipes. Potatoes, boiled them all.

Why do they go so fast? Gone. It doesn't matter how much you could make. You could make all the potatoes in the world and pounds of mashed potatoes. And that's like the first thing to go. And then the next day, there's only like a little smidge, a little smattering of the mashed potatoes left. And then you got to divide it equally between everybody who wants a master. And that's a lie because, you know, whoever wields the spoon is the person that makes that, you know, So I don't know, man. I'm just I was I felt like there wasn't enough of it because you got to have the construction on the plate.

You know what I'm saying? Like you got to you have your mashed potatoes. You got to make the crater for the reservoir of gravy. But then I take it a step further came in the construction of my dish. So yeah, so I have the mashed potato reservoir.

Okay. And then I have the turkey and then I will very carefully construct the reservoir. But I just dump all the gravy on my turkey.

Like just dump it. I have two gravy. Boats always every year got to have two gravy boats because I don't share with the south end of the table. The south end of the tables on its own. You people are on your own. Okay, the north end of the table.

It's where it's at. That's where you know, we get our own gravy boat. You get your own gravy boat that way. You know, we don't share the gravy does not pass the invisible border of the north and south table. Yeah, I'm telling you. So, you know, and I mean, like halfway through the meal, Mike, why is there like a like literally a quarter of the gravy left in this boat? What's happening?

What is happening with us? I'm okay with that. But for Christmas, though, you're into more of a ham thing and not a turkey thing, right? Yeah, but I could do turkey too. Sometimes we do both.

So could Christmas be like the turkey Thanksgiving to electric? Yeah, but then we got people who are weirdos. And I'm not gonna name names. There are some people who sit at the south end of the table and they're psychos. And their taste buds change and they only want ham.

For Christmas. They're communists. It seems like you're talking about someone specific, but Yeah, uh huh. I'm talking about somebody very specific. Somebody's very specific. That's correct. Interesting. So I'm just you know, I don't know. And you got to have great key because you can't really do gravy with ham, right?

You can't. Yeah, I think so. One last quick thing. You know, you also know what kind of gravy is really good right now. Chocolate gravy. Chocolate gravy? Have you never heard of chocolate gravy? Isn't that just melted chocolate?

Yes and no. How have you never heard of it? I'm today years old. My kids had never heard of it.

And I was like, I have failed as a parent. Like I've prepared you for everything else in life. Chocolate gravy. Now I've heard of chocolate sauce, chocolate drizzle, melted chocolate, chocolate fudge, all the different types of chocolates we've grown up with knowing and loving. What is chocolate gravy? So I would make, my grandma always made around the holidays for the grandkids, chocolate gravy and just drop biscuits, right? And so good.

And it's basically like milk gravy with chocolate. Seriously? Yeah.

Now I'm really curious. Yeah, it's so good. It's so I mean, you can use it with it goes on everything.

Yeah. Like Frank's Red Hot. Yeah, it's like Frank's Red Hot. It's like the gravy version of Frank's Red Hot. For real. It legit goes on everything. It's so good.

But yeah, look it up. If you've never done it, look up chocolate gravy. You are welcome. That's free for you. That's a service I have provided.

I'm serving my country right now. Chocolate gravy, two words. Everything is amazing with it.

Everything. You're welcome, Kane. Thank you. You're gonna make some now? Sure. Why not? I think I will.

I mean, I'm curious enough to do it. So good. Oh, my gosh. All right. Today in stupidity. All right. This is Karine Jean-Pierre just hours ago, claiming this about the economy.

One, please. The fact is, the data shows that the economy is improving. The data shows that households remain in a strong financial position. Households are down 2 trillion over the last two years. Where are they getting this from?

The data does not show what she's saying in shows. Did they actually purchase their own groceries for Thanksgiving? Did they purchase their own groceries? Do they know how much things we're going for this year? Apparently not. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.