Absurd Truth: True Story of Thanksgiving

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec.

It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. I got three words for you. Florida Man possum. That's right. That's right.

So let's see what we got. This is Clearwater. Literally it is. This is yesterday. It happened yesterday. So oh, wait, we had this one. Did I share this one with you?

Did we do it? Because it's so amazing. I wanted it again.

The guy who did a deuce on a possum. And then it's not he got in trouble. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

How did I forget that? I saved it forever. Okay, I am not. Okay, save this one.

Really quickly, because it's hysterical. Tampa Bay Times. They're talking to a semi-retired gator guru. This was sent by Amber, who is a Florida woman. She says this is educational, which means it's not.

This the alligator semi-retired gator guru says that you can check an alligator sex by looking at his equipment hole. That's what he said. She dared me. What do I get?

I did it. What do I get? I get a prize.

Come on, girl. Good boy. Good Florida boy. A Florida boy gets a young hero award. He saved his grandma's life by calling 911. Good for him in Orlando.

Fox 35 in Orlando. When they got there, they said they were surprised to see a little man. He's a little kindergartener. He got a big reward. Rosa Garcia had a medical episode. She was watching her six year old grandson James.

She couldn't breathe. James called 911. He was super chill.

And he says I don't know what's happening to my grandma. He waited for paramedics to arrive. They gave her the care she needed. And they said that he remained so calm. And they were actually shocked that he was so young.

Because he was so calm about it. So good for him. He got an award. He got to go ride on a fire truck and everything.

I mean, best day ever. That's awesome. A Florida man drove into a car drove into car show staff after he was after he was turned away from an event. 76 years old. Steve, can you make one guess as to where this happened in Florida? What area? It happened in 76 years old? Can we hear it? It did.

Yes. It was the villages. A Florida man has been arrested charged with aggravated battery after he allegedly drove his car into staff at the villages cruise. The cruising car show in Florida and he did it on purpose. Anthony Guerrero became belligerent and aggressive. And then the villagers, the villages resident began throwing paper at staff. And then he drove into a worker. He totally got mad because they let another group of cars in before his and that's why. Man. And a road rage incident that started with a cup of coffee at Chick-fil-A.

Well, that was not your pleasure. Florida man was arrested in this road rage fit. There's like video of them fighting on the ground, which is actually hysterical, but not good.

Don't do it. This Florida guy's facing three felony charges. Someone threw coffee at him Saturday morning at Chick-fil-A on Palm Coast Parkway. 36 year old Donovan Matthews got into an argument with the man, a woman. Coffee was thrown and then he struck their vehicle with his car. And then they started brawling in the intersection. Oh, man. And there were blows traded.

Flugger County Sheriff's Office had to respond. I mean, all that over, you know what, just keep your cool. And don't be getting into a fight skinning up your knees showing your butt in the intersection of Florida over road rage.

Just don't do it. As we approach Thanksgiving, this whole collectivism thing once tried, failed miserably. This country really began on the carcass of a failed socialist experiment. And I know it's been discussed before, but I think especially for the people who never heard it, it's important to revisit this history.

Because every year, what do you hear? The pilgrims were so mean. They were just people who wanted to leave and be able to worship. They were devoutly religious people. And when they came over on the Mayflower, which was when I went and actually, like read the proportions of the ship, I was actually kind of shocked.

Like, that's not the ship that I would think that you would take crossing the Atlantic, but whatever. I mean, they weren't rich people. They actually had sponsors.

They had, you know, Dutch sponsors, they had sponsors from Holland, they had business people, merchants that worked with them to sponsor their journey. And then the point of it was that everybody, it was collectivist. Everybody was going to own everything. Everybody was going to put in the work and then everyone took an equal share. That was how their society was established.

The business people through whom they got these sponsorships to come over here, they had established like a basically one bank account for them all. And so they came over here and everybody knows the Mayflower compact and William Bradford and how every one of the 40 of these 40 pilgrims on board, every one of these 40 pilgrims they were all going to be equal regardless of their religion, regardless of what they believed, etc. And they nearly died. I mean, his wife died. They all starved to death practically. It was it was heinous. I mean, it was heinous, horrific conditions for which they tried to prepare themselves for.

But ultimately, when it comes to facing nature, raw in such a way, nature typically prevails, and it did over many of them. And, you know, they they were not being they weren't successful. They weren't successful at all, when they first started. It was, I mean, this was the Bernie Sanders Biden dream, how they got started. I mean, they had common ownership. It didn't matter how much you worked, because you were going to take home everything.

You were going to take home your share, regardless of how much you put in. There was a thing Bradford had written. And he said that he said, quote, for the young men talking about the collective work for the young men that were able and fit for labor and service did repine that they should spend their time and strength to work for other men's wives and children without recompense. The strong or men of parts had no more division of food, clothes, etc. than he that was weak and not able to do a quarter the other could. This was thought injustice, the aged and graver men to be ranked and equalized in labor and food and clothes.

Etc. With the meaner and younger sort thought it some indignant and disrespect unto them. And for men's wives to be commanded to do service for other men is dressing their meat, washing their clothes, etc. They deemed it a kind of slavery. Neither could husbands brook it. There was resentment. Men did not want to go get food for other men's wives. And women were already busy taking care of their own. Hell, they didn't want to have to take care of another man, another woman's husband. It created resentment. If you're toiling away in the field, what incentive do you have to work harder if you were going to take home the same as the guy who was doing nothing regardless?

That's the thing. Collectivism created a safety net for the people who had the ability and really everything that they could need to work to work. They just didn't want to. And it created a lot of resentment. He saw how dangerous it was.

He saw that they were literally going to complete destruction. I mean, they barely survived into spring. I mean, he lost his own wife. They barely survived. They nearly all starved to death going into spring. It was not enduring.

It was just scraping by a very, very harsh winter. I don't know that the current generations now could deal with it. There's so many amongst us. I mean, my gosh, they freak out if they run out of the peppermint syrup at Starbucks.

I mean, have you seen people like in fast food places get mad if their orders are wrong? Can you imagine these people lasting in these conditions to create this new world? And so they're going into spring. And they're realizing, as William Bradford wrote about the collective farming thing, that was a disaster. He wrote in his diary, that quote, our food stores were used up. People grew weak and thin, some swelled with hunger. So they begin to think how they might not still thus languish in misery. He said that his answer was to divide commune and parcels and assign each pilgrim family its own property, because they were struggling so badly.

Bradford realized the only way to do this, we're going to throw everything out of the window. Everything that we had determined before we came to this new world, everything that we had determined when we were on the Mayflower about collectivism, because this was a commune. It was a hippie commune. The first the first established living quarters here in the United States was a hippie commune that failed, and almost everybody died as a result. And so William Bradford thought, okay, this is not going to work.

We have got to we've we've got to do something. And he realized that if they went through another harsh season, like the one they just barely survived through, they he realized the whole colony was gone. So he and the elders, they got together and they thought, okay, this is what we're going to do. We're going to introduce privatization, private property, and everyone gets the same parcel, the same size parcel. And they can, as he wrote, set corn, every man for his own particular assigned every family a parcel of land, and made all hands very industrious. So as much more corn was planted than otherwise would have been. And families realized that they could get more for what they put into it.

The privatization and the opportunity incentivized industriousness. So they worked harder. And they worked smarter. And Bradford noted, he said, quote, this had a very good success for it made all hands very industrious so much so he said that the women now went willingly into the field and took their little ones with them to set corn, which before would allege weakness and inability. And he said that the men worked harder, and that they worked so hard, and that they they brought such a harvest that they actually had extra that they could use to trade.

And he said that it became so successful that they went on from parcels to private farms. And then every family had surpluses that they could freely exchange with their neighbors for mutual benefit and improvement. The first Thanksgiving was born of that. The first Thanksgiving was born of a very radical idea that came about because they saw that socialism, that collectivism was not going to work, that it fostered resentment, and an unwillingness to put in the time because you were not going to get rewarded for how hard you work. Hard work wasn't a virtue.

Caring about your task wasn't a virtue. It allowed everyone to skate by with the same level of mediocrity. And it nearly wiped out the entire first colony. And so when they finally realized and nobody else was doing this, they had they didn't know what to call it. They didn't call it capitalism. They had no idea what it was.

They just knew it hadn't been tried before. They traded. They went on from their single parcels to entire private farms.

And when they got together, they came about. There was only one witness to this. In my notes, all we know about the first Thanksgiving extended to one man named Edward Winslow, an eyewitness.

He had one paragraph. This is from the Smithsonian, describing one Indian, the Massasoit, showing up with 90 men. They killed five deer to call. Cook with what the English were preparing, and then they feasted for three days. And they were creating this feast, the pilgrims, because they wanted to give thanks to God for getting in through a season and preparing them well for the next.

Thanksgiving was born of gratefulness, to be able to not just mess up, but given the opportunity to rectify an error, make good a mistake, work harder, and have such a surplus that it allowed you to care for your neighbor willingly, not by force, not by contract, not by understanding, but out of sheer genuine love in the heart. They wanted to care for each other because they had the ability to do so. They were incentivized to work harder. It made them grow. It edified their spirit. That is where the first Thanksgiving came from. They developed relations with indigenous nations. And they feasted, as Edward Winslow said, for three days.

One paragraph is all the description there was of it. And they got through that first hard season. And then they went through the next season much more prepared, much more stocked, and with wisdom and bigger hearts. That's what Thanksgiving is. It's borne on the back of one of a really bad mistake, but they were given the opportunity to write it.

And they did. And it also showcases, even if the intention is pure of heart, the result fosters an evil. And it creates a resentment. People have to be able to enjoy the fruits of their own labor. That is biblical. It's even discussed in the New Testament, that you are given things by God for your enjoyment.

And yes, you're called to be a good steward of your fellow man. And this is one of the things that the pilgrims who were incredibly devout recognized, and is exactly what they did after they got through that first season. This is what Thanksgiving is about. This is why we have Thanksgiving. This is what they don't teach in schools, because it highlights the failure of a system that has been tried and has collapsed in every single country, in every single nation, any point in history, any time it's ever been implemented, it has failed. Collectivism denies individual will.

And even God grants you that. That's the story of the first Thanksgiving in America. So I do not know this, but there are six states in which a dog, a dog can be legally part of your family. Over 50% of people think that their pets are family members anyway.

Apparently it's a growing trend. New York, California, and Maine think of dogs as legal property. Of course they do. Isn't anyone surprised that New York and California does? But they said that there are a number of states that where they you can actually like treat your dog. What does that mean? I don't know. I think it's kind of, I don't know. Really?

Like you can have like custody disputes and custody issues and things like that. But yeah, they said that there are six states where you have that. Interesting. A truck stowaway hid beneath a huge, this is in Australia. Of course it is. Of course it is.

I'm telling you, Australia is like the non-American Florida. This dude's lucky to be alive. He hid beneath a B-double for 390 mile trip to the Gold Coast.

That's crazy. He was under, they said he's believed to be under the influence of alcohol. He crawled into the metal racks beneath the truck. He was going to hitch a 40 mile ride along the New South Wales coast, but ended up on the B-double. The driver said he was driving, he was making a freight run. He stopped for a short nap, 1.30 in the morning on Friday. And after a quick coffee, completing his checks, he set off again. He said when it started to get light, he said he could see a piece of orange cloth under the trailer. And yeah, he went for a really, really long, long, really long way. And he said that he made an emergency stop and got out of his cabin and that's when he saw the guy. And that's crazy that this guy did this. So yeah, police called.

He was taken into custody. There was a massive brawl. Austin, Texas. Austin is a great town, except when it's not. I was only one time on the street and I won't go back because it's not my jam, man. Remember Marines in a massive brawl outside of Texas, this Texas bar.

It was what, the Voodoo Lounge, I think, outside in Austin. So they shut the street down and it's just a bunch of college kids and girls in dresses that don't fit. And everybody gets in fights.

Dude, there's like literally a whole YouTube account devoted to it. But somebody thought it was going to be fun to pick a fight with literally a bunch of Marines. And this one Marine ate punches like my one Marine friend jokes he eats crayons. This guy ate so many punches and he just was like, oh, that was a punch. I've never seen a dude take so many hits to the face and be unfazed. It was wild.

That dude was arrested, though, because apparently he was the instigator. It is Thanksgiving Eve, Eve. And we are here with you as you are.

Maybe, maybe you're like getting ready to travel back home and argue with your family about politics over the holidays. You know what? Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave. That's all you got to do.

Right? Just smile. Just smile. Do like what Keanu Reeves does. He doesn't want to, he protects his peace by going, you know what, you're right. And then just smiles and leaves him alive. That's what you got to do.

Just be like Keanu. So or maybe, maybe you're in the kitchen getting stuff prepared. Kane and I were just talking about brown buttered rosemary and sage.

And I know sounds so delicious. Maybe you're in the kitchen doing that. Maybe you're you're cleaning up your house getting ready for company. Maybe you're finishing stuff at work, whatever it is, we're going to set your table, right? So you're gonna this is going to be like one of the side dishes at your Thanksgiving table, we're going to set your table.

Get some stuff to talk about. So welcome. You can listen coast to coast.

You can stream the radio program on YouTube, Facebook, Channel 347, DirecTV, enter the YouTube chat at your own risk. And they're all getting ready for Thanksgiving, too. They don't got time for mess.

So we're going to dive right in. First and foremost, I sent the newsletter out and I was kind of jokey. But it was true because I was made of jokes when I saw the image that they used. Normally, I had to say like normally, you know how you you you see something and it's just so comical and your brain like short circuits with the jokes and you just you can't even think of anything because I was thinking of that when I saw this picture of Joe Biden sitting in front of his birthday cake. Because it was his birthday. He's guys, he's 1100 years old.

Give him a hand. 1100. Kane, he reached the big milestone. 1100. And I saw this because he's got a bajillion candles on his cake. They are burning the ever loving tar out of that cake.

A mill. I mean, and I thought, well, like the country, so too has he set his cake on fire. That was my first thought. My second thought was, sir, you have a portal to hell on a plate in front of you. I mean, yeah, they had to have a fire extinguisher.

He's holding onto the table like as if to keep himself upright. It's very confusing. So they had the press conference yesterday, folks. And they were talking about how much they've saved you on your Thanksgiving dinner. Now, remember, how many cents did they save us on the hot dogs? Kane at the barbecue like that was a big feat. Was that like 17 cents? One's got the one's got the portal to hell cake that he's thrown out there for the simulcast.

Yeah, 16 cents. Now, Kane, please bring us some clarity to this conundrum. Second degree burns off that thing. Right? I mean, I feel the heat already. I feel the heat. I mean, that's it. I mean, who in the hell do you feel the heat?

I mean, who in the hell thought it was a great idea to put that kind of flame by President Daddy Shower's Sniffsmit Kids? I mean, the man falls on flat surfaces upstairs, not moving. I mean, he just falls.

But how was his time? Little known fact, there are no lights in that room right now. It's totally dark. That's just all the light from the fire that's on his cake.

It's insane. But when they said that they had saved us money, do you remember how so they said it was $16 for things for Fourth of July. Was that per hot dogs?

Oh, sorry. That was per Fourth of July meal. Oh, that wasn't even like per hot dog. No, no, no, no, no, no.

So that was like, per the food, per all of the items. You know what? That is just like, no, no offense. But y'all know what I'm talking about. That is just like a grandparent, though, to be like, here, here's the dime.

Go buy yourself. But they said that they're saving. Yeah, the 16 cents. Remember, they had said in Fourth of July, they go planning to cook out this air, ketchup on the new.

According to the Farm Bureau, the cost of the Fourth of July barbecue is down from last year. It's a fact you must have heard. I think were they trying to be funny with this? Because I died inside. I had to get revived died again.

And then I'm finally okay. And they said, 16 cents. Yeah. They got ratioed by community notes. It was beautiful. So they literally whipped out a food menu for Oh, did you see this yesterday?

It's one of the bright spots of my day came. They whipped up a food menu. Prices are from someone's backside. And they're they're trying to talk about everything that they've saved you all the money you've been saved. All the money you've been saved for Thanksgiving. This is I mean, there's some serious shades of Fourth of July savings here. So they said the Thanksgiving this prices are down. They went into airline tickets. Guys milk they said is down by 1%. Wow.

savings. I mean, everyone, do you remember what I told you? Whenever I talk about American financing? What I tell you?

The average person is what 10 grand that they're in debt, and they're putting it all in their credit card because everybody's broke. Yeah, it's more now. But hey, 1% on your milk, guys, 1% on your frozen piece. Okay, hold the hell up.

Stop till everybody stopped for just a hot second. I know we got to get into this. Can I ask legit who's having frozen peas? Who amongst you is sitting down to frozen pea? Who? Who is out there eating that on Thanksgiving? I'm gonna tell you something. I don't care.

Don't be like, Well, Dana is bro. My grandparents are broke. Y'all people think that they know broke.

I was born in it. I know broke, right? My grandparents are broke. They live in an 800 square foot house on the side of an abandoned mine in the Ozarks.

Okay. They knew broke. They knew rocky terrain.

They knew how hard it was to grow harvest. They knew broke and never grandma never put no frozen peas on the table. That woman ain't never put no frozen nothing on the table. If she don't care, she had to stay up all night, not sleep.

Take a cat nap the next day. That woman was snapping some peas. She was not putting no frozen nothing on the table. It is about will. That's what it's about. So I'm I mean, I was just shocked by this. So I because that's some of the stuff that they put out there. So they had cubed stuffing all this. I mean, did you do you seen this came because it's like, they're gonna put all this stuff on the table. There was some emphasized redundant junk for a very brief number of days, too.

I think it just Makes sense. And what it did W Oh, I see. So you were in the Jessamine market, right? Yo, no. I've been in New York for several months. Now. Come on, bro. Oh, yes, I needed to go. Yeah. In New York. Yeah, sounds like Honorary Court. La, it sounds like, it sounds like that guys, it's a lot of work. that list there them say it went down for a little bit oh did it did it go down from it went up by 10% and went down by 1% savings the savings came people have to understand the rate of inflation is what is how things are increasing its health at the pace at which they're increasing that's it's still increasing it's still increasing this is not there's no lowering they haven't lowered anything nothing is 1% cheaper that what they're doing they're lying through their teeth I mean I think I would if I had her job I think I literally would set myself on fire and just distract the reporters with that instead of answering questions put it near Biden's cake yeah I mean I I mean they're still trying to push Biden omics they're still trying to push this they said what in 2020 the average cost for 10 was $46 the average cost and this is also it's a grain of the Farm Bureau I know she likes to like situationally cite things that's why they cite these real they they bring out these weird statistics so in 2020 it was $46 90 cents 2023 $61 and 17 cents the cost for 10 it has gone up so much but this is what they do as Kane noted they're like oh well yes it's increased you know by and large by you know $10 let's just get just let's just say Turkey's gone up by $10 let's just say that for argument's sake easy number oh my gosh it dropped 10 cents look we're lowering the prices this year only look by 10 cents and they act like that's a huge thing it's the same thing as saying that because the government shut down the economy and forced everyone out of their jobs and then when they reopen the economy and everyone started going back to their jobs that they created all these jobs it's literally the same math that's exactly what they're doing here yeah that's Biden omics Biden omics is well 2 plus 2 might equal 7 today tomorrow could be 10 no no that's by nomics can you imagine teaching by nomics in class you just take yeah you take a cow patty and you put it in a book and then slam it real hard a couple times and then open it up and then that's what you study it's amazing so enjoy those savings guys yeah sure everything is up literally almost double sure but it went down your damn peas went down by 10 cents guys so suck it up enjoy it mmm peas thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana lashes absurd truth podcast if you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast Spotify or wherever you get your podcast