Absurd Truth: Get Your Free COVID Tests!

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec.

It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Big Pine Key, Florida. It's like a semi truck pontoon. That's what I was thinking of a pontoon boat. And so this guy creates a half semi truck half pontoon. And this was from WI&K News in Big Pine Key. He said it doesn't get more Florida than that. He was boating with a half semi truck half pontoon in Big Pine Key.

I'm just amazed that it doesn't sink. And it's just something that did for just did for the fun of it once got some photos of it in the simulcast. Like that's probably one of the yeah. Florida Man claims that voices made him rob a Dollar General twice. And actually it was more than that.

And one time it was two times in one day and then it was another day, three days technically. During the investigation, police said an employee immediately recognized the suspect as a 31 year old Matt Pringle. They said that he said that he heard voices and apparently the voices told him to go and rob the dollar store.

That's pretty specific. Like if you hear a voice and it goes, go rob the dollar store. Go and rob it. Sounds he took cash from the register and fled on foot. Were they going to what did he think they were going to tell him? Oh, the voices told you that's okay. You're you get to go. The voices told you to do it. You get to leave.

million dollar question. A Florida Man shoots an intruder who tried to break into his home. This was on Thursday. The incident occurred after midnight in Volusia County, according to law enforcement. They said that via the Washington Examiner, they said that it was 12 in the morning, a little after midnight, Port Orange police responded. They said the homeowner defended himself against the intruder, the home invader who was trying to forcibly enter the residence. The homeowner, they said they that it's believed the homeowner acted in self defense. They were investigating anyway, but it sounds like stand your ground right there. Because you have the right to defend yourself against people who want to do you harm in your home.

And so it looks like that's exactly what happened. This see, I'm not reading this one. I'm not reading this one.

This guy cannot okay, so I got a villages story. This seems so mean to do like a former employee was was arrested after allegedly reaching into a tip bucket, not once but twice at a carwash. Daniel private 43 was arrested Friday after he was caught on surveillance reaching into the tip bucket at the Sweetwater caught cash wash. And they said that he was found to also be in possession of a controlled substance. He apparently previously worked at the carwash he was fired because he took money from the tip bucket and then they get about 200 $300 a day and tip money. So he went back after the same carwash he was fired at for taking money out of the tip bucket. And then he took more money out of the tip bucket.

He was worked in a Sumter County Detention Center on a $4,000 bond. Why? Like what again get a job.

So easy get a job. Oh my gosh. A woman buys a BMW with a bogus check. She had an ad $100 tip what Marion County, Florida deputies in Marion County are searching for a Florida woman accusing accused of purchasing a BMW from an auto shop with a with a fake check. She's one of her grand theft of a motor vehicle.

She visited baseline auto store. And then she also added a $100 tip in the memo. What? Oh my gosh. That is not not like a tip right there.

That's it. Shouldn't there be a red flag that way? What? They tried to deposit the check because they're dumb. And they were told that it was fraudulent. And they contacted her she said she'd go back to the shop to pay for the car but still hasn't. So they found the BMW they found the printers, the blank checks and an iPad in the trunk. So there you go.

They're still looking for though. Can I just touch on the coronavirus thing because I saw this tweet. Let me pull this out. Who's still buying this? I saw this over this is a time they wrote this today.

This is today years old. This this story, quote, more free COVID-19 tests are available for the holiday season. You can order more free COVID tests for online home delivery. The government is offering to send another round of four at home virus tests.

You can order free free meaning we paid for it. Test who the hell is still doing this? Who is still doing this? I have not tested myself or done anything with it. Since the last time during lockdown, I had it. And remember, they said it was not like going out in public that was driving it. They said it was just like in home stuff that people have been that was driving it. But they said that governments mailing these out. They're trying to ride off flu season and the spike in RSV which you knew was coming you knew they were going to do that. But they're saying that they immunity from previous vaccinations has kept cats lower.

No, it hasn't. I mean, unless you talk about, you know, killing people, maybe I digress. Censor me, YouTube, you bunch of rat bastard, fascist thugs. Censor me. Pound sand.

Yeah, they'll totally if I talk about if I say the word that rhymes with schmiver mectin, they'll demonetize me. Can't is it? Is it too close? Who's ordering these still? Is anybody still doing this? I don't know if I've ever had it again. Because I have never cared. I didn't care.

It was like a bad is a bad call the first time. I never cared. No need to worry about if you were naturally infected, and you naturally recovered, you have natural immunity to all of the future variants of it as well. Unfortunately, the vaccine doesn't do anything.

But damage. Hmm. Yeah.

Yeah, apparently, it doesn't. I'm just curious about this. I mean, why are we still doing the schmaz? The schmack veen?

schmack veen? Yeah, I can't say vaccine because he just did it. Gosh, we're so gonna get demonetized. They're gonna pull us and censor us and all the fingers in the air. So I'm just, you know, why are they still pushing this? Now, one of the things that's interesting to note in Texas and the Republic of Texas, they only just now, well, actually, it was in June, I take it back.

So not just now. But there was this COVID disaster declaration, right? And the they kept renewing it.

The governor the cup renewing it every year, every month, and I always wondered why they were renewing it. It doesn't make sense because it grants the governor sweeping powers that apparently they never used specific especially to go after some of these county judges, and some of these other local officials that like in my area before we had an election that mandated the mask wearing I mean, I remember the Glenn Whitley was the judge and he's been replaced, thank heavens, by Tim O'Hare, who's a fabulous judge who's great in this role. But like this Glenn Whitley guy, I remember when we were still locked down, my kids couldn't go to school. I had a friend that had to bury her mother.

And she has a twin sister had to bury her mother, only one of the twins could go only her her sister went and everyone else they couldn't she can even bury her mother. And I'm watching these county judges like I saw this Glenn Whitley guy had like a party for one of his kids, no mask. I saw the other Clay Jenkins, the Dallas County judge that was threatening people with fines that they didn't wear their masks and in Dallas, he literally held a big backyard wedding for his daughter, no mask, their pictures of it all over. I mean, these people are absolute rat bastards who disrupted life. Furthermore, I remember in the state of Texas, do you guys remember the raid? They did raids on like there were people who would pick up food at the bar or would get drinks at this bar. And then they staged a protest and they raided them. They had a SWAT team show up and they arrested these people. Do you guys remember out in West Texas, the nail tech and the eyelash extension lady that got arrested. They literally set up a sting and they arrested them for violating the quote unquote, stay at home orders.

Who could forget Shelly Luther, the hairstylist who needed to keep doing what she was doing because she was going to the broke and couldn't pay her mortgage. See, that was the other fun fact to the government was talking about paying everybody's leases and you're going to have a rent moratorium, but they didn't talk about the property owners. They still had to pay everything and taxes on top of it. But yet they were told through economic eminent domain that they couldn't go out and earn a living. They were forcing people into poverty. Our government was it's the most communist damn thing I've ever seen in the United States and Texas is government and the governor was complicit in it. And you can try to dress that turd up six ways to Sunday, but it's still a POS at the end of the day, that action happened.

That action is garbage. And we had our Texas leadership that went along with it. So forgive me if I don't take, you know, I just feel like, and I know we're playing the endorsement game. I think that some endorsements of some governors are worth more than others. And I've always had a good relationship with my governor, but I'm not going to pretend that I care about any kind of endorsement, especially when you like our leaders had the ability to weigh in and stop some of this stuff a hell of a lot sooner than they did.

But they didn't do it because they were worried about optics. Like when you only that declaration, by the way, that COVID declaration that that kept going that that kept open the sweeping powers for the executive office here in Texas, that literally was just allowed to expire in June, this year, June, just this past June, this past summer. There was nothing done to stop these county judges from doing that.

Nothing. So you can't say what was it state or local judges? Yes, empowered by the head of the state. Because they had the power to do something and they didn't do it. And they allow these and then they're going to and then to try to campaign or trade influence on the back of having done something only in the 11th hour after all the facts came out and everybody who has suffered and been rendered bankrupt.

That doesn't do it for me. That's like throwing somebody a life raft after they've already drowned. Politics is a dirty game. And there are too many cowards in this game.

And a lot of them are Republicans in Texas. There is no sacred cow to me, I don't give a rat's ass about being your friend. I get enough campaign donations, solicitations, and everybody else to paper my damn office. I don't care. But let's be honest about stuff, especially when you're trying to trade on influence with things. And you're trying to influence people in an election.

You know, you kind of want to make sure that maybe maybe you're not going to be able to do that. Maybe, maybe you should worry about your own influence in your own state. After people were arrested after there were legit sting operations to bust to bust eyelash extension people. Oh, they violated the sacred stay at home order. I remember people had to actually like be very, very public and getting Abbott to get involved in Shelley Luther's case. And it was Dean Patrick that paid her fines, by the way. Wasn't Paxton and it wasn't Abbott for all the people who went to bat for Paxton. It was Dan Patrick. And I've gone round and round with him over gun stuff. It was him.

He was the one who paid for her her fine. Not everyone's perfect. I don't expect people to be but by God when you've got the evidence out there and it's 23 2023 in June and you're still like going with these these declaration orders for COVID. Are you serious with me right now? Come on.

Come on. All right, so first up, has your 401k? Has it decreased diminished significantly?

Average Americans are finding their retirement balance has fallen 4% as more and more people are dipping into their life savings to make ends meet. But hey, we're told that that Biden economy has been working wonders. So just suck it up and love it. Nothing's wrong. Everything's great, right? Everything's wonderful. Hunter can still go and buy his expensive sports cars and he can still have his pad in Malibu and Biden can still have two three different houses. It doesn't matter. They're good.

So shouldn't you be? Dogs are coming down with an unusual respiratory illness in several US states. This story coming from the AP says that vets are in several states are saying that take precautions to keep your pets healthy.

Oregon, Colorado and New Hampshire, they've seen cases of this respiratory illness and pneumonia that doesn't respond to antibiotics. And they said that dogs will cough and they sneeze and they have nasal and eye discharge and are lethargic. And they said some dogs are really really sick within 24 to 36 hours. They said in Oregon alone, there's been more than 200 cases of this since mid August. So people are told to contact their vets.

Just you know, be smart about they said just be smart about your dogs and be proactive because they can get sick too just as people do. If you buy cantaloupe apparently there's a recall daily caller says there's a recall of salmonella outbreak across 15 states because of cantaloupes pre cut cantaloupes. Can I ask why in the world people buy pre cut fruit? Why do you just love burning money?

You just like setting your money on fire. I see like like pre cut fruit like pineapple slices. And I see Did you I mean there's like pre cut apple slices. Pre cut apple. What in the world did you know what this is how Rome felt.

It felt just like this. Just like this Centers for disease, blah, blah, blah, CDC. They said that salmonella outbreak across 15 states there have been 17 hospitalizations and 43 illnesses related to just this since Friday, Arizona, Minnesota, Missouri, Texas, Nebraska, Wisconsin, Illinois, Kentucky, Ohio, Virginia, Georgia, Oklahoma, Washington, Maryland and California are all the states that have reported this. The tainted cantaloupes have been sold at various retailers to main main brands. They said that the 4050s the according to the report, the malakita the whole cantaloupes and many they said that some of these the pre cut version vineyard brand, their cantaloupe cubes, melon medleys and fruit medleys. And Oklahoma stores. And Aldi apparently has sold some.

So just you know, look at your fruit and don't buy pre sliced fruit. Because that kind of that stuff happens. Apparently Snoop Dogg is not smoking pot anymore and weed stocks are hit. Are you serious?

Good grief. A teenage grocery bagger started working at Kroger and is processing a lot of returns in two weeks discovered they nearly a million dollars was missing. This is a teenage grocery bagger. And this was started working at Kroger processing all these returns took a million dollars in two weeks. He spent in two weeks he took a million dollars. How do you not notice that in two weeks? How do you not notice a million dollars going out like all these returns? Oh my gosh, somebody is not paying attention.

Trey Brown 19. And so he bought guns, cars and clothes. That's what he bought. We've been talking about everything with media matters. I tweeted out a fun flashback of when Andrew Breitbart, Mike Flynn and myself, who Mike Flynn ran big government, I ran big journalism. We dropped in for media matters 990. And we scared David Brock half to death when we showed up and he ran for the elevators and Andrew blocked him.

It was one of the funniest things ever. And we took Mike Flynn because Mike Flynn, if he didn't have a lot of money, he was a big fan of his. He never knew Mike Flynn who edited big government. He was the most American Irishman I've ever met. And he hated everything about DC.

He hated it. And he was like this old gumshoe reporter. He was very old school. I mean, he wasn't old, but he was very old school. And he and Andrew both passed since and Mike had a gravelly voice.

He now I've never seen him without actually this video, I think is the only time I've ever seen him without a cigarette. He's just like an old school reporter. He worked in DC hated DC knew everything about DC knew everybody's dirty secrets. He knew everything about everybody. He could tell you something about the most obscure person in DC that you think nobody knows. And he knew everything to ask about, you know, tax structures and everything else.

So the 990 what that is, is a form that certain quote unquote, nonprofits have to have on hand by demand that anybody can walk in and ask for. And it was just really, I mean, it was just nuisance. We were just there to we were trolling them. We were just there to annoy. And we were actually driving in a vehicle. I can't remember what road it was on.

But it was right outside media matters, Washington, DC headquarters. And we were in a vehicle. And when I tell people like, whenever I criticize, by the way, Steve Bannon, and people are like, Oh, that's so mean. I've known him for over a decade. So I can say that. But he was driving the vehicle, actually. So we were in the vehicle with him. And it was us three, Andrew asked if we wanted to take a field trip to media matters.

And we had no idea what that was going to entail. But in the car, he came up with the idea, or Mike did of asking about the 990. So in the middle of a road, we were driving down and Andrew saw David Brock walking with his, I guess, bodyguards because David Brock's like three foot four. And saw David Brock, silver hair always looks like he's, you know, tweaking probably because the cocaine allegedly, and per Daily Caller, and saw him walking down the street and scream Steve, stop the car, stop the car, car stops, we all pile out of the back in the middle of a damn road, like in the middle of a road in DC in the middle of a weekday at noon. And he's yelling, Dean, are you recording? Are you recording? I'm trying to record you know how difficult it is record while running. And then also following Andrew and I've never seen him run that fast in his ever loving life.

And it was the funniest thing I've ever seen. As we were running up to David Brock, you could put it in slow mo, David Brock sees us coming. And Andrew was not small. He was a tall dude.

And he was, you know, he wasn't exactly like athletically shaped. And he sees Andrew and Mike and I trailing, Mike with a cigarette, I still, and trailing him. And I'm trying to record and keep it steady as Andrews turning back yelling at me making sure I'm recording. And you can see David, David Brock's face, he sees Andrew and at first it's like, who is this strange confusion? Like who is this running towards me?

And then it just goes blank. And then the terror creeps in. And he realizes that it's Andrew Breitbart barreling towards him as fast as his California legs could take him. And then at that point, David and all the dudes that were with him, we all run towards the media matter door at the front door at the exact same time. And David Brock is trying to race back to the elevator to go up to their media matters floor. And it's one of those elevators, we have to have the fob to get through and all that.

And Andrew was not going to allow that to happen. So we all race back, David Brock runs into the elevator, he's in a corner, his lackeys are in front of them. And Andrew just casually stops, he is so out of breath. And he's leaning up in the open door of the elevator.

So the elevator door can't close. And at some point, the little alarm sounds. And he's out of breath. And he's like, so.

Hi, David. And he takes a minute. And then Mike finally catches up.

I think they made him stay outside and he threw away a cigarette. I'm not kidding. And then he catches up and he's like, yeah, we're here for the 990. And it was just hysterical. So we waited.

It was so anticlimactic. But but it was funny in that. I mean, who does that? That was your job. Like you just drop in on media matters, and you troll them. And you demand their 990. Because they're rap bastards. And you all act like you know, you're all supposed to be civil in the public square. They've tried to ruin people's lives at Media Matters.

So and it's funny, they brought it out. Andrew and I, I'm gonna be real, because I was in my 20s. I was in my late 20s, I think, or maybe I was 30 when this happened. We, Andrew and I legit had no idea what the hell we were looking for. I mean, I'm super young. I was the youngest person at the company. It was me and Ben Shapiro.

We were the youngest people at the company. I had no idea what to look for. Andrew honestly had no idea what to look for. Mike did. He was the one and it was hysterical because they bring in the 990. And he's holding it. And he's flipping through like, yes, yes, he's looking at something is really short thing. It was like two pages. He was looking at it like, and Andrew's like, Oh, yes, this looks on the up and I had no idea what it was hysterical.

But Mike knew exactly what he's looking for. But it was funny. That's what we did. That's what we did.

So flashback to Media Matters, because they have made so Musk said that it's going to be a quote, thermonuclear lawsuit. My only sadness is that we can't donate to it. That's my only sadness.

You know, like to just be able to pitch in and deliver a kick. That would be so epic. But I had to share this because that was one of the funniest. I'm like that was our job.

And then after that, we went to lunch. There's this hysterical like we dove out in the middle of a busy, busy, busy road in downtown DC traffic everywhere. It was like playing Frogger people honked at us. I think Mike almost got hit but he looks so mean and grizzled that nobody dared try. It was just funny. It's too funny. But I hope I hope that thermonuclear lawsuit goes through.