Absurd Truth: Target's Gay Nutcrackers

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. I don't understand this one. Every now and then I get I get a story like this where I just don't understand what has happened here. And this is one of these stories. So this The headline is this Florida man caught pooping on a dead possum in full view of the motoring public.

Care to unwrap that one Kane? I don't even understand where this stuff comes from. Okay, so this one says the man said that the officer doesn't see straight and deny the allegations. The guy looked like he got in a fight with a possum. So he was arrested after he was seen defecating on a dead possum by police officers out in the open where any other motorists could see him.

It was just two days ago at 5.30pm Clearwater, Florida. They witnessed 45 year old Rudy Wilcox. Okay, Kane, this guy's 45 years old. They say, I got to put that look, I need you to look at his picture. How in the hell is that guy 45 years old? The dude, the dude is so he looks like the guy he Oh my gosh, he is just no he looks like he is 60. Oh, yeah, that dude.

Easy. So 45 year old Rudy Wilcox was seen defecating on a dead possum in a public area. They said this is this is official news. This is the police report. They said that police saw Wilcox's pants lowered and his anal region exposed.

And that it wasn't just seen by the officers, but that he was in full view of the motoring public during busy traffic hours. Kane's dying right now. Are you just dead?

You're just dead. How much more to this story? There's more. Mm hmm.

Yeah. So police said that Wilcox denied the allegation. He said that the officer didn't see straight. And they said, dude, we see the physical evidence.

We see we just see it there. And he said that's not what it is. And I didn't do that. He did all that.

But they said no. So they they they arrested him for exposure of sexual organs. And he was booked in a county jail on a $150 bond. So if you're just joining us, a dude literally dropped a deuce on a dead possum on the side of the road. And police said that his full anal area was exposed.

And they put they they cited him for exposure of sexual organs. So it costs but it is legal to poop on a dead possum. Yeah, it costs $150. If you show your ass in Florida, it's $150.

But you can poop on a dead possum. We've established that. I'm bookmarking this one. This one's this one gets saved, dude. This is this one gets saved. This ain't going nowhere. Oh, my gosh. Let's see.

We also have man. Oh, here's a headline. What's going on in Florida lately? A Florida man was arrested after giving unauthorized massages. They charged with five counts of sexual battery at the Jacksonville chiropractic and rehabilitation office. And they said that he just started giving massages. Oh, man, the patients were like, this is weird. And they reported him. So he's totally in jail. I just, oh, my gosh, they can't deal with this stuff.

Got to get to the guy who blamed voices for robbing Dollar General two times in a day, two times in the same day, the same Dollar General. As we get going, our friends over at Caltech, the PMR 30. Caltech is a great company, and they make a lot of really cool stuff.

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You can learn all about the PMR 30 in the big brother, the carbine, the CMR 30 at keltechweapons.com. That's keltechweapons.com. Follow them on social media to keltechweapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you. So I saw how do I say this? They have gay nutcrackers. Now, Steve's response was that was a Tuesday. And it took me a second. But they have those and they they have apparently gay Christmas decorations. I mean, how much of an annoying virtue signaler are you that you have to put on the I mean, how much of an annoying virtue signaler are you that you have to put some sort of tangible representation of how you get it on on your tree? Well, I wouldn't have known how you had sex if you didn't have a gay Santa ornament on your tree. I mean, or the gay nutcracker.

Wow, I wouldn't know that you how you like to have sex if you didn't have a gay nutcracker. Why? Why does everything have to just they do they have these. I mean, it's the most. It is a joke by itself. This was not done to be humorous.

They did this on purpose, like accidentally on purpose. So they have these my eye and I and for the the people on the left who read with pictures. What we're making fun of is the fact that they feel the need to have a gay nutcracker. To seek validation and Christmas ornaments. I love to celebrate both my Savior by declaring how I have to sex. So basically, you're celebrating the birth of a Savior with fornication. That's essentially what I am to understand out of this. That's correct, Cain, right? Yeah.

Celebrating holiness with fornications, like Scrinford Chastity, guys, doesn't make any sense, but I digress. Do you constantly have to tell people who you are all the time with everything? What is the point of this? Does your blood type change? Do you have purple blood now?

Does something in your does something and you change because of your preferences in a private activity? Why do you have to have this all the time? Everywhere? You the regular nutcracker wasn't good enough. The regular Santa wasn't good enough. You couldn't just have regular ornaments. You got to have gay ornaments. Yeah, I don't I guess they put rainbows on it.

They're like, look, tada. No, it's gay. I don't know. I don't know.

They also I don't know how to address this one. Because it's so over the top. We're making fun of it. And there's a difference between making fun of something and criticizing it. We just think it's ridiculously hysterical. No pun intended. It is hysterical.

I mean, I just don't understand why. And I was looking on that. They literally have a whole category of alphabet. They have alphabet Christmas decorations.

They have alphabet Christmas deals. LGBT. They don't have any Q on their riot. I mean, I don't understand this. Why?

Why is it does it? I don't understand. Inclusive. Of what?

Of the gay community. So you're telling me that unless Santa is decked out like Liberace and rainbows, that he's hostile? I don't know about that. Is that what the claim is? I don't know.

I just if I was saying I know what he'd be getting crap this year. We don't have dictionaries and Bibles because a lot of people need it. Are they saying that regular ornaments are hostile? Apparently, they needed special gear. They didn't feel gay ones. They didn't feel represented. You know, the reindeer with the red nose wasn't representative of how, you know, oh, man. Help me out here.

If Rudolph changed his gender, he could dominate all the female reindeer games. Right. Exactly. I just, I mean, when I get our Christmas ornaments, I have like we have my mom is one of those people who's like, you don't put ornaments on the train unless it's like a keepsake. And I'm like, all right. So all of ours, you know, mean something that the kids made them or it was from when we were kids, something like that. And I just can't, you know, I was looking at like a Santa.

He was used to being felt, but over the years, it just kind of worn off. But I just can't imagine looking at that and being thinking and going, you know, quietly whispering. Why do you hate gay people? To my Santa ornament, you know. I put these ornaments up and I think they hate the gays. So they have a whole rainbow section, but not to be outdone because, you know, what's Christmas without exuberant virtue signaling from every single aspect of humanity?

There's a Santa on wheels. I don't care. I just think like, why was this necessary before? Did it really ever bother anybody before that there wasn't a Santa in a wheelchair?

No, it would make the story of him coming down the chimney a lot less believable. That's what I'm saying. I hate you. Can we not?

This is your fault. Oh, my gosh. Um, I just I don't understand why the need to go that hardcore.

Right? I do see me out there like where's my Santa with guns? I gotta have my Santa with guns all over him. You know, I'm not out there demanding that. I'm not asking, you know, for like a dead reindeer slung over his shoulder and a hunting rifle over the other. I'm not. I don't insist on a Mexican Santa.

Yeah, you don't have a sombrero Santa. That's right. Damn that. They hate you.

If it's not on the shelf, they hate you. Yep. It's what it is. It's oppression. It's what it is. Yeah, it's actual oppression.

Slavery, actually, because you don't have a sombrero. It's Hitlerism. Completely. I just why the constant never ending version. It's so cringe. Stop it. You don't have to have rainbow everything.

You don't have to have. I mean, it just because it seems contrived and it and it seems like it's put on. I mean, you're making cheap crap in China and slapping rainbows on it, you know, where they would kill you for being gay. And they're acting like that's like somehow supportive of the alphabet community. I mean, the irony is so insane.

And there are people who are just like, Oh, yeah, I love that. So I'm gonna get my gay ornaments, get my gay ornaments at the targets. I don't know. I'm telling you what, Santa's just bringing everybody Bibles and dictionaries. It's all anybody gets this year. Martha Stewart says she's not doing turkey. She said she's turkey'd out. She says that she's sick of cooking. She's done. She'd made 14 turkeys already for a TV show this year. She says she's turkey'd out. Is that legal?

No. Arrest her. Throw her back and throw her back in jail. And my administration, I'd arrest her for throwing for being turkey'd out. You don't get to be turkey out in America. By the way, your friendly reminder to put your turkey in your fridge. You're welcome.

Yeah, your frozen turkey, put it in your fridge. So I have some other serious news, too. But I'm just I was completely distracted by the the gay ornaments. Oh, and then of course, you have the stories that are like, there's backlash from people about the gay ornaments. Do you think people are getting boycott fatigue?

I hope so. I mean, I don't necessarily boycott. I just don't want to be somewhere that's cringe in the event that it's catching.

You know, I just don't go there just because it's gross or it's cringe or something. But I just do I do wonder if people are getting boycott burnout, which you can't really. But you know, for I mean, for this stuff, I just it doesn't it doesn't it doesn't make any sense.

It doesn't make any sense to me. But the restories that have been written on this are Oh, people are bad. There's backlash.

It's not backlash. People are making fun of it. The left can't even you if you can't make fun of yourself for this, then you're truly a shell of a human, because it is hysterical. All the the to have a whole section of gay ornaments is just hysterical. It is the most commercial thing I could ever think of. It is hysterical. And you should be laughing about it.

Because it's funny. But they're like, there's backlash. No, we're like, Target really is having one.

They really outdid themselves this year. That's what the that's what the response has been. Good grief. And now all of the news you would probably miss.

It's time for Dana's quick five. So David de Pape, he's the weirdo who that was the whole Paul Pelosi thing. He was found guilty in the Paul Pelosi hammer attack case that came out yesterday. So he was already he was having his case. They went to trial, they found him guilty.

Well, of course he was guilty. Did he was sued for I really don't give a rat's ass. Can I skip this? I really don't care about Puff Daddy or did he or whatever the hell he wants to call himself. I just don't care. I don't care about these superstars.

Super rich self indulgent people's problems. I don't care. Go to hell. I don't care.

Moving on. A gang of savage monkeys kill a boy aged 10 in a horror temple attack. This is what I'm talking about. This is horrific. Guys, I told you I I have problems with certain animals.

I love animals. I told you I had a slip slap fight with a chimpanzee right that our neighbors had been. Yeah, that was a real thing.

Maybe I should talk about that more. This child was murdered. He was murdered by a group of monkeys. They launched this horrifying attack on him in India.

Deepak Thakur 10 was playing with his friends when the little monkeys set their sights on him. They ripped his torso. They like ripped him apart like literally.

It was near a temple on Tuesday, according to police. They rushed him to the hospital. But I mean, they literally disemboweled him. Medics couldn't even treat him and they're still trying to find all of the monkeys that were involved in this attack. They are mean.

People think that they're like they're not they're terrifying mean little things. I think I'd rather deal with a shark than I would a gang of those monkeys. For real, right? I can add I'd rather do I think maybe with a gang of sharks. Right?

Because sharks don't have hands. No, I'm just saying. So they have this apex CEO summit and Elon Musk was replaced by John Kerry due to a scheduling clash. And this was after he had been branded the world's richest bigot. He agreed with some post and people were calling him anti Semitic as a result of it. Speaking of anti Semites, Roger Waters was denied a health a hotel stay in Argentina and Uruguay over not I don't know why they call them allegations anti Semitic allegations. Roger Waters is a flaming, raging anti Semite. He is the human equivalent of an angry hemorrhoid. That is Roger Waters. He is a walking bipedal angry hemorrhoid who hates Jews. That's Roger Waters. I mean, have you ever seen any of the stuff that he says?

Good griefs. Other people would get taken off air for saying the stuff that Roger Waters has said. So he was denied this. These hotel rooms in Argentina, I mean, Argentina, the socialist nation, they have standards who knew they was going to be staying in Buenos Aires out of some shows as a part of his drill, but those reservations fell through. And also the neighbor in Uruguay, they wouldn't host him either. And he said that he was still in Sao Paulo, Brazil, where he performed a few days and nobody cares, Roger, you're an old angry anti Semite. Nobody literally nobody cares. I mean, he's still touring. He's alive still.

So, you know, I guess he's doing something healthy for himself. I would just think that that much hatred, etc, etc, would be bad for one's, you know, constitution, but whatever. It's not nearly half. They said that the GOP would have been at fault that people would have faulted them if the government shut down. And they said said nearly half of Americans. So the other like actual half would blame Democrats, right?

Yeah, more than half. It's so stupid. So stupid.

Just so ridiculous. This couple of other things the new New Hampshire, the presidential primary date is set for January 23. Democrats are mad because that defies Biden's primary order.

He had not wanted this. And so New Hampshire, it's going to be the state's first in the nation GOP primary, New Hampshire Democrats are going to face punishment from the DNC if they leapfrog South Carolina. So Biden's mad because they're all fighting over their primary rules. And why in the everloving hell are we having another debate? So January 23 is another debate. Another debate. How many damn debates do we have to have?

How many times do we got to see the same damn people get up on stage and do the same? I'm just so tired of it. I'm just not 10 billion for Iran. Sure.

Why not? Apparently that's happening with the administration. Yeah, he's offered them another $10 billion, unlocking fresh new billions for Iran. A couple of other things came to me this too. I saw this last night. Because this was circulating. I don't know if you saw this, but the army has been sending out letters to all of the soldiers, everybody in the military that has that resisted the vaccine. And it's asking basically, I guess what it wants to ask them back. They've rescinded, they rescinded their requirements back in February. And then they send out and they said, we're right to notify you of new army guidance regarding the correction of military records. So you had people who had been kicked out because they refused to get the clot shot. And so now that the requesting, they're allowing people to change their military personnel records, including characterization of discharge as it relates to the clot shot.

And if people were desired to return to service, they can etc, etc. Hmm. You could say it's good news. I don't I mean, to me, this is nothing. You there's there should have been a major I require a major public apology, not this. We're just going to quietly send out a letter.

BS. I require one to lie prostrate in front of the American people and beg for forgiveness with because this was such an egregious offense. That's what it's going to take for reconciliation.

Otherwise, I don't think that enlistment is worth it. Now I've said it, it's probably unpopular to say I don't care. I'm not here to tickle everybody's fancies and be everybody's BFF.

I'm not sure I'm not your damn big bird. You want my opinion? There's my opinion. Unless they start groveling. We're so sorry that we acted like CCP leaders. And we kicked out perfectly healthy people for not getting the clot shot.

We are so sorry that we actually labeled as insubordinate people who declined to get the clot shot. The injection that doesn't work YouTube, you fascist bastards, you people can just pound sand because it is an ineffective liquid injection that the government was making you get that does absolutely nothing. It never did anything. It still doesn't anything doesn't do anything.

It is a placebo that people were led to believe actually was effective. It is a sin that your government committed against you an offense that is so egregious as stupid little Well, we write to inform you that you can change your records letter from the military pound sand. I want public groveling. I want a public apology to everyone whose characters you impugn. I want a public apology to all the people whose records were wrong.

Because of the way that they were discharged because they refused to play along with your pretend fantasy science fiction and believe that this injection was actually helpful in any way. No, you owe a lot of people an apology. So no, I would set it on fire. I wouldn't change anything in the record. I'd set it on fire. The fact that they you have to that you even have to do it yourself.

That's the thing that they list in here. You can request a correction pound sand. Change it for them. Let's save everybody the effort. You impugn the characters of all these people that rejected your your your quote unquote vaccine.

You change it yourself instead of going through this whole making them go through this process of clearing their names. You rat bastards. I'm not this Friday, half of you are preparing your turkey already getting ready in the fridge. I don't care. I this is stupid. This is one of the things that makes me the angriest.

It makes me the angriest. And I'm still mad over it. And I have every right to be there were people I had people in my husband that were in my husband's groomsmen.

One of my husband's groomsmen wouldn't have anything to do with us. Because we didn't get we had already had the virus and we didn't get the vaccine on top of it. And basically intimated that we were killers and we just disregarded everybody else's well being. You had people that were stupid enough to buy into this fairy tale.

And all of these branches of government, including military, they think that they're just going to sidestep it with a simple letter. Burn in hell. No. You absolute dirty, just ignorant evil rat bastards.

No. You owe a lot of people an apology. People were arrested for this. They were kicked out of military service for this. Oh, and now you need them back? Because old President Daddy showers McCheese head because he can't keep it straight in the Pacific. And hell, we may be involved in a two front World War Three again.

Oh, now you need everybody back, huh? I saw this tweet the other day. And it said, it was some kind of survey.

I didn't bother looking at it. But it was a survey wherein they said that people, they're talking about military recruitment and how low military recruitment is. And that people don't want to fight for their country anymore. That's not the truth of the matter.

Not at all. People are tired of fighting their country. They're tired of fighting their government. How do you feel about a government that takes 40% of your income and sends it to Ukraine? How do you feel about a government that won't allow you to talk about any, by the way, any funding for any kind of foreign nation, because sometimes it's off limits to talk about some, a government that colluded with the CDC to hide defensive gun usages as a way to argue for you.

You had the government that the CDC that colluded with gun control groups as a way to argue you out of your rights. That kind of that government, the government that thinks that your kids by way of being in schools that they force you to pay for and provide subpar education, because they don't allow teachers to teach that that government Do you really feel like, you know, putting it all on the line for that government? People don't feel like dying for a government that would penalize them for calling a man a man. People don't feel like dying for a government that would fire them from the kick them out of the military because they didn't get an ineffective not really vaccine clot shot. People don't want to die for a government and put it on the line for a government that would disarm their wives or their husbands, their families at home while their loved one is away fighting overseas. No, it's not that people don't want to fight for their country. They're tired of fighting their country, their government. People want to fight for the American dream all damn day. This government doesn't represent the American dream. That's the issue. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lashes absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.