Absurd Truth: Les Grossman

our friends over at Hillsdale College. So many, I don't need to tell you that there's a lot of bad stuff happening on universities today. You've seen it.

You've seen a lot of the video. Hillsdale College is a small Christian classical liberal arts college in southern Michigan and the pursuit of truth and the defense of liberty are hallmarks of what they do since they were founded in 1844. And they are they're not they're not doing critical race theory.

They're doing critical thinking, because that's really what they're supposed to be doing is making sure that people can think critically, when so many people don't think anymore. They were founded off of the kind of education that is required to preserve civil and religious liberties and they hold true to that mission today. You can see what they do on via a short video that shows you how Hillsdale's work is effective in defending American liberty, not just on its Michigan and DC campuses, but also across the country. You can find it at Dana4ForHillsdale.com. To learn more about the mission of Hillsdale College, visit Dana4Hillsdale.com. That's Dana4Hillsdale.com, Hillsdale College, developing minds and improving hearts. Dana Lashes absurd truth podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec.

It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Oh man alive. Now we love our our Florida men. This guy though, you can't be doing this stuff. Sheriff says that a Florida man was tased and arrested because he got drunk in Marathon, Florida and just decided to go all Wild West and follow Joe Biden's advice and shoot his gun randomly in the air.

You can't do that. Robert Phillips of Punta Gorda faces charges of discharging a weapon in public. He was in the commission of a felony using his gun while he was drunk as a skunk. Then he tried to resist arrest, fleeing, eluding, assault, DUI. So he added a whole bunch of charges upon his name. He was riding a bicycle in the area. Deputies asked him to stop. He didn't do it.

So they like, why? You're riding a bike, just get off your bike. But then they tased him. He continued to resist arrest. They found a 40 cal in his possession. And then a witness said that he was threatening to kill people. A second witness said they saw him just shooting it up in the air multiple times.

You can't be doing that. They did find shell casings, all kinds of stuff, this guy. And then he kept saying he was drunk. So that's why he's doing it.

Yeah, that's not an excuse. Not at all. And this is one way to make sure you get super arrested. An Orlando man was accused of ramming a stolen car into a police vehicle. Yes, you heard that correctly. A stolen car rammed it into a police vehicle.

Selah White now faces multiple charges. He's in custody. Our partners over at Keltec, the sub 2k. This thing is so cool.

Great Florida based company, been have been longtime partners with this program. And I got a lot of Keltec stuff. And the they have a lot of like I said, a lot of really good the sub 2k. They also have the PMR 30 and the CMR 30, the CMR 30, the carbine. Is I think I love the PMR 30 is one of my favorite all around reliable Keltec weapons. And if you're recoil shy PR 30 is great for personal home defense, but I like it. I mean, it's a great it's a great 22. I like the PMR 30 because when I am taking other people to the range or when my kids were coming up, this was in training with firearms and handguns. The PMR 30 was great for target acquisition. It's great for you know, all day all range day planking. It's good for backpacking camping, boating, all that good stuff. 30 round 22 Magnum capacity.

You also have fiber optic front and rear sight you got excellent target acquisition integrated accessory rail for mounting a light. I just love this. I love this and the CMR 30 is no different love the CMR 30 as well. You can find and that's the PMR 30 is big brother by the way.

It's just a ballistic advantage. You can learn more about the PMR 30 at keltechweapons.com follow them on social media as well keltechweapons.com keltechweapons.com tell them that Dana sent you it was very important to send a very clear message to anyone who might seek to take advantage of the conflict in Gaza to threaten our personnel here or anywhere else in the region. Don't do it. I'm sorry, what?

That's like watered down Nike. Don't do it. Biden, don't do it. Oh my gosh, Republicans. Why are you not running with that on a shirt?

And instead of the swoosh, it's like a fart dust fart cloud. Why is that? These are free man. The other stuff I'm gonna charge out for I'm gonna charge you to charge out RNC for Welcome back to the program.

Dana last year with you. Whoo boy. Yeah, my message to these people's just don't Biden.

Don't do it. What is that supposed to do? Now, I don't know if they are now hear me out. Hear me out. I don't know if they're trying to carry.

What is the phrase walks awfully carry big stick? Is that kind of what they're trying to do? Because so apparently, you know, this is a rare thing. I don't know if you guys saw this news over the weekend.

This I'm gonna get the day because it's Yes, this is just yesterday when this news was announced. This is a very rare thing for the military to announce. So we moved a guided missile submarine nuclear powered into the Middle East. They never do that. They don't send calm doesn't go out there and be like, guys, by the way, our stuff is getting moved here to the Middle East. We don't ever do that.

So it was an Ohio class sub entering its area of responsibility. That's a terrifying phrase. I mean, for people who aren't us, right? Yes, we've moved all of our our badass baddie weapons into an area of responsibility. Oh, you have have you? Mm hmm.

Yes. I've moved my fist into an area of responsibility. I'm going to start saying that all the time now. Man, I wish I knew that phrase when I was younger with my kids because I when they were a little bitty and I could whoop them.

I mean, when they were bad, not just like mute randomly. What kind of person do you think I am? I'm going to move my hand into an area of responsibility here if you don't take it. So they had a I have a social media post. Everything is stupid. Everything is on social media.

I get it. That's how all the the people in the matrix get everything. You know, social media is the matrix. You know this, right?

I hope you sidebar I hope you all realize this. You're already in the matrix. Social media is the matrix. You don't have to be in a pot of goo hooked up to something like a Dyson vacuum and and not be in like meat space and think that digital is real.

You are already in the matrix. Just FYI. So anyway, rare announcement. Nuclear powered sub arrived in the Middle East. They said it's a message of deterrence. A message of deterrence directed at regional adversaries. It's a it's a big baddie. And they said that I I know that all my Navy friends love it when I describe this.

It's great. They posted the announcement. It's in the it went through the Suez Canal. And they didn't it's just a it's just we have four Ohio class guided missile subs or SSGNs which are former ballistic missile subs converted to fire tomahawk cruise missiles rather than the nuke tip ballistic missiles. They come they each come with 154 tomahawk cruise missiles at standard capacity guys. Standard capacity 154 tomahawk cruise missiles. 50% more than the US guided missile destroyers pack four times what the US Navy's newest attack subs have. And they also carry up to 1000 pound high explosive warhead. So I love the guy how he was describing it to the press. US Pacific Command's Joint Intel Center told the press that he said SSGNs can deliver a lot of firepower very rapidly.

You're going to incinerate quickly. So we've moved it into this area. And we got a whole bunch of assets. We got two carrier strike groups. What do we got day? Another big warship I think that the brass is on. I think we got the Vice Admiral or something like that on one of these ships out there.

We got a lot of stuff. That's what you need to know. So I'm just and they made they announced this. They announced this that this was happening. You know that they announced it because they want Iran to see that we're moving stuff in. Now here's something to note Iran historically has never just they don't just respond to language.

I'm not saying guys for all the people out there. And I've been a neocon before or an anti neocon since before the anti neocon knew that how to abuse the phrase and use it inaccurately. It's not the same thing. This is peace through strength because Iran has never ever you can't just say to Iran they don't care. You have to actually basically have your fist as just a second from their head before they believe that you really mean it when you say don't do it.

So what I'm saying is, is this their their dippy way of walking softly and carrying a big stick? The messaging still is stupid. I don't know if they think that's cool. Don't. Really?

Steve is getting this for me because I told this is not the way that I would have done it. So one of my favorite movies, I have several. They're all very highbrow, as you can imagine. Actually, one of them is one of them is Death Proof from Quentin Tarantino, which is one of the best chick films, chick flicks ever made.

It's Death Proof. It's a chick flick all the way. It's amazing.

It has everything you want. And I also love Tropic Thunder. And so my idea, if I were Anthony Blinken, or if I were messaging and crafting messaging for the administration, I would channel Les Grossman, the notorious agent from Tropic Thunder.

Now let me just set the stage. You remember in Tropic Thunder, Tug Speedman had been captured by Flaming Dragon, the terrorist group in Southeast Asia. And Matthew McConaughey was his agent. And he's like, you know, they got this guy, they had no idea who they were dealing with.

They thought it was a competing agency. Les Grossman didn't care. He was too busy talking about the goodie room and a G5.

He didn't care. So Les Grossman had had it already. Here you got McConaughey's character in Les Grossman's office. Les Grossman's this big Hollywood, you know, it played by Tom Cruise brilliantly, by the way.

It was one of the funniest roles I've ever seen anybody in. This is just how I would handle the messaging on this, a la Les Grossman. Listen. This is Les Grossman. Who is this? This is Flaming Flocka. Okay. Flaming Dragon face.

First, take a big step back and literally your own face. I don't know what kind of pan Pacific power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia, Jack, is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you better think again. Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down on a godly firestorm upon you. You're going to have to call the United Nations and get a binding resolution to keep me from destroying you. I am talking scorched earth motherf***er. I will massacre you.

I will f*** you up. And there you have it. That's that should be the response.

And then be, and then just put up as this message is being conveyed from the podium. Then just have pictures of ourselves going through the Suez. Have all the pictures of our, of our, our tools of warfare. You know, you can have short stack down in North Korea parade the five tanks he's got. I mean, I love that they got tanks.

I mean, you're shut up. Do you even have a fuel to run them? Can you get from Pyongyang to where you need to go?

I don't think so. And in Russia, they have like a bunch of falling apart equipment. We don't need to have praise. We just got pictures. Our stuff isn't in the square. Our stuff is out in the world.

That's where our stuff is because we got peace through strength. By God, we didn't want to be world's police. We don't want to be world's police. We're not nation builders, but here's the message. We want to be left alone as Americans.

And we want you to leave our allies alone because we understand that if you compromise our allies and you steamroll them over, much like Hitler did in Europe, then one day you could be trying to rain hell down upon us and that we just cannot abide. Now, if you disagree, that's just like your opinion, man, to quote the great Jeff Lebowski, but you're wrong. No, no, this is peace through strength. We have these things to want to not use them. But if the bear is poked and we have to use these things, oh my gosh, we will, we will literally just incinerate you. I don't care how many generations it needs to go deep in order for you to never try to do this to people again.

In order for never again to mean something, it has to be felt. All right, so there's a movie out. If you are looking for something to view this weekend or looking, you want to go to the theater or you want to go see a great film, there's a new film out from the studio that brought you The Sound of Freedom and The Chosen. And these are films that were really, really well done. One of my biggest criticisms of so many films that kind of originate on the right or in the faith-based community is that it seems like production value was always secondary. The Angel Studios really, really focuses on just top-notch production and they really do great, great films.

I mean, they just look, you know, really beautiful and they're really well done. And their next one, After Death, which is in theaters now, and you can purchase your tickets online at Angel.com slash Dana, it explores the mystery of what happens, you know, what could happen after we die. And it looks at the perspective, looks at it from the perspective of individuals who have gone through this, who had a situation where they, you know, they were flatlined, their hearts stopped beating and they went, you know, to the realm beyond and it talks about their experiences, first-person accounts, but they also incorporate, unlike anybody else, very careful research.

So it's the perfect marriage of scientific knowledge and philosophy and faith to paint a fascinating picture of what life could be like in the next realm. To find a theater near you and to purchase tickets online, you can go to Angel.com slash Dana and you can also pay it forward. You know, you can purchase a ticket from someone else. So if you're someone that would love to go see it, but you know, times are tough and you can't really swing tickets, you can actually go and generous fans have paid it forward for you and you can get a free ticket at Angel.com slash Dana.

So leave your preconceptions at the door. Prepare for a never before seen glimpse into what the next life could entail and after death in theaters. Now get your tickets today.

Pay it forward. Angel.com slash Dana. That's Angel.com slash Dana. After death, the end is only the beginning PG-13.

And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. All right. So first up.

This is a real story. The, um, there's a demand for unvaccinated sperm. Women are turning to shady Facebook groups looking for donors who did not get the shot. Like trust me, bro.

I don't, I didn't get the shot. I, yeah, they, I guess it's like couples that are looking to have kids or I don't know. They said that they're women from both the US and UK, young professionals, uh, all kinds of stuff.

Uh, first off, make sure you're married. Um, that because they're, doesn't that say a lot? That says a lot. What in the world?

I don't know if I want to, can we just have smodcom? An author came out as a transgender man after her wife, what came out after her husband came out as a trans woman. So it's a husband and wife that's walked genders and they have a son who is now a daughter. And they also have a relationship with another trans co it's like doing algebra. And I just have to say every single one of these people are heinously ugly as members of the opposite sex, like to the nth degree.

They are so not attractive. Uh, anyway, I had, I can't, I can't believe that's a headline today, but it is. Okay.

So, uh, I'm going to get a couple of others that we had that I didn't get to last time as well. SAG-AFTRA is reviewing the studio's last, best and final offer. They had a big CEO meeting today. Now, you know, Mark Zuck has been, uh, Zuckerberg's been training for apparently an MMA fight. Well, he had a torn ACL and he's had to offer a to undergo surgery for it. He was training for an MMA competition.

He revealed on Friday that he underwent surgery and he's on the road to recovery. This is so weird. This is like so weird that he's doing this, but you know, I don't know. The mortgage market is so bad right now.

Mortgage lenders are demanding laid off workers return their bonuses. That's how bad things are. I know the, uh, this also is a real headline. Alabama mayor and a very bad Baptist pastor, FL Bubba Copeland shot himself after he was outed for dressing as a transgender curvy girl named Brittany spelled with three eyes, Blair and uploading photos a la Hunter Biden. Yeah, I have no. Why are all of the worst headlines in the segment?

All of them, the worst headlines ever. Death by bowling ball. This is from the Bronx. This is also really a horrible way to go, man. A 44 year old man was killed by his younger brother with a bowling ball and an apartment complex. NYPD is investigating a violent death that took place at the concourse village apartments. A 44 year old man was found dead in a trash bag. They said that his younger brother, 41 Jason killed him using a bowling ball.

So you know how that was you done? That was a really rough, rough way to go. Uh, the, the younger brother was, uh, has not been arraigned yet, but he's facing charges of murder and manslaughter. People say that he lived in the building, say they're shocked.

They said it's been pretty peaceful here. They don't really, the reason that it was found, he stuffed his brother's body in a bag and left it under the bed. And the father of two of the brothers, he was contacted apparently about this. Oh, that's so heinous. I can't. Okay. So here's the other question we were debating.

Cause I said this and you probably were like, what? Being a woman, I don't go in the men's bathrooms, right? So I don't know what y'all do in there.

I'm glad I don't. I mean, I don't like public restrooms anyway, cause they're all weird. Uh, especially nowadays because you can have it's man who like rolls up in a bathroom anymore.

I mean, good grief. I did not know that all you dudes had a urinal rule. I did not know this.

I saw a meme that's going around. The, the rule is basically if you have a wall of urinals, they all don't get used. They will all never be used at the same time. Well, that is not necessarily no, no, no.

And, but mostly true. Like if, if the fate of humanity, depending on, dependent on all of them being used at once and you all had to use and you couldn't wait, then yes. But I don't, the rule is I have been told and I did not believe you guys about this.

I thought that it was coming from dramatic people, including members of my own family. I did not know that it is like an actual thing. So if there's like say four urinals in a row on a wall, only two of them were allowed to be used at once, basically. Correct. Well, it depends how many urinals are against the wall. I just said four. Well, then even number would mean you want to choose the one at the very end or the one under the other so that there's at least one or two options for somebody coming in behind you. Yeah.

But are you telling me that if, if there's four urinals in a row, four, and you have one person who comes and uses this one and then a person on one end and one person uses the one on the other end, the two in the middle. That's a tough one. What happens?

Does someone wait? Why is that difficult? I'm trying to understand this. Why is it difficult?

Well, it's not difficult. It's, if it's the only one available, you got to go, you're going to use it. But the first choice is like, for example, if there are five urinals against the wall, you're going to choose, if you're, if they're all unoccupied as a guy, you walk in, you're going to choose one on the very end.

You just added a urinal. You're not, I know, but the point is you don't want to put yourself in the middle one. You don't want to roll up next to a homie.

The second one, or that. It's not like a parking lot is what you're saying. I mean, you got to leave space because no. Yeah. I don't, I don't think anybody is. So glad I'm not a dude. Yeah.

If it's malfunctioning too, or if it's dirty or whatever, you're going to. I'm told that you all will wait. Yeah. We'll wait.

You will literally wait. So you don't stand next to someone at an empty urinal, right next to somebody. That's not a hundred percent true. Steve, is that true? I don't mean to like pry into y'all's business, but I'm fascinated. I did not know any of this.

I am this year's old and I did not know. Kane is right for the most part. Yeah. All his logic checks out. Your logic checks out, Kane.

I'm happy to hear that. But yeah. So if you're in the fifth one, like you're in the. Well, then why do they make the bathrooms like this? What do you mean?

Well, then why don't they like put up dividers? If this is a universally known throughout mandem. Mandem has rules.

Not interested in that. No, no, no. You know what I mean? Like in the Miniverse, if this is universally known throughout the Miniverse, then why don't they help brothers out and put some stalls up between your urinals? Some do, but in like sporting events and sporting arenas and stadiums, there are no dividers for the most part.

So glad I'm a girl. In the old days, do you remember the old Busch stadium? Yeah.

Just lay it all out around a trough. I did not need to know that. Yeah. So glad I'm a girl.

How it goes. See, I feel like you guys, I feel like the Miniverse is a little bit more courteous to each other than the Womeniverse. You're probably right. Based on things I've heard from you. Because like ladies will go into stalls and they don't tell a girl if you're out of squares. You know what I mean?

If you ever saw Seinfeld, can you spare a square? They don't help people out. Like I will come to the aid. I will be like, don't go here or don't go here. This is what I don't like. I rarely ever do this because I hate public restrooms. Everything's gross.

That's where my germophobia has not ended. But I did not know that there was a whole rule about this with the urinals. So like if somebody comes up next, is it sus if you're at a urinal and there's all these empty ones and someone stands up right next to you?

Is that a big no-no? Yes. Yeah. If there are like three or four... Steve jumped in on it.

Do you know how fast he jumped in on that? Yeah. It is a no-no. If there are five against the wall, you're at one at the end and he comes and stands next to you. Yeah, that's... No. No. You don't do that.

You go to the one that's once away from you at minimum. It's like a courtesy. Right. As a courtesy. Right. That's all it is. I mean, if they're all available and open, why the heck you come and stand next to me for? So if there's an empty row, do you have courtesy in your mind when you choose? Yeah. Really?

So like... So I'll choose the one at the very end so that the other four... He has three choices at that point, the next person walking in. Three. There's no need to stand next to me. I have no idea about this. I love the rules in Meniverse. I just think that you guys are a little more courteous than women. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.