Absurd Truth: Speaking of Robots

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man.

All right, so this. So he's a Tampa man in a buccaneers jersey and he posed as a police officer and was trying to pull over cars on I-75. That I he's facing because you can't impersonate law enforcement. So he was trying to pull people over in Brooksville, said troopers. Earl Cesario, 62 of Tampa.

He was arrested, taken to Sumter County Jail with his Tampa Bay buccaneers jersey on. A trooper pulled him over because he was getting all these reports that this red GMC pickup was using red and blue flashing lights pulling over other cars in his truck. Like, who would pull over for that, though? Would you pull over for a truck? Like the hell I wouldn't. I'd be like, you come get me. And I'll be like, you weren't in a market. I didn't trust you. I just I see lights.

I'm not gonna. Dude, he's got red fuzzy dye in his car, like right on the, you know, because that's what police do in their Ford and their GMC pickups. So they said he told authorities that they were apparently lying that he did not actually have his lights on, but he did. And he the driver said he thought it was undercover law enforcement at the time and he started pulling over but then he became suspicious after the truck sped off. So he was the one who ended up contacting law enforcement. They did detain him. They took him into custody without incident, but oh my gosh. Let's see here.

Boy, we got some parents of the year here coming up in this too. So we got a Florida man arrested for stealing and damaging an excavator. Let's do the iguana. This is a thing. So this is a new one. Not the same one that I had like last month.

This is brand new. A guy in Hollywood, Florida found an iguana straight up in his toilet took a video of it too. He sent it to channel six NBC in South Florida. And the lizard was hanging out in the dude's toilet bowl. It looks huge. They called animal control. They got it out. They said that the iguana tried to slither back down the sewer system in the same the same way that it came in. This seems like it's common. And also the guy has a pot leaf mat right there by his toilet. I don't understand the mats by the toilet. I don't get that. That Florida man is the sanest person in our country right now. Stick with us.

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Visit Caltech weapons.com today, Caltech weapons.com. Speaking of robots, you know you have now wait a minute, hear me out. Do you remember spaceballs? When they had like the giant made robot and she was vacuuming all the air out of the planet. So it's like Hillary Clinton.

It's like the same thing. It's like a bitch voltron, right? It's just you get all the just meanest, horriblest feminists together and they make her right. So she snapped she was interrupted mid speech because people were demanding that she call out Joe Biden for walking us right to the precipice of World War Three.

This is audio soundbite 18. She gets mad. I'm sorry, we've got two more people to hear from you. You have a chat.

Well, I'm not sorry. You sit down and we're gonna let other people we're gonna let other people talk. I'm going to turn now to Frank Mugisha. Frank Mugisha is a leading civil rights organizer, who is the way he's gesturing. I want to bully him.

I mean, he's not making a mistake. This is not this is not the way to have a conversation. You're welcome to come talk to me afterwards. No, she doesn't.

She doesn't. You're welcome. And I will listen to you and I will respond to you. Right.

Well, man. Yeah, you're gonna get suicide and sit down. Sit down. Well, that's your opinion. That's your opinion. Well, that's just like your opinion. Sit down.

We've heard your opinion. She's so mad. Oh, my gosh. I can't deal right now. I can't deal. Oh, I can't.

Okay, I got to play this for you. So I don't I saw this. This is new.

So he so Trump was in New Hampshire, he filed for the primary. I listened to there was a like a 16 minute clip of this. There's nothing here that's out of context. Because I wanted to make sure. Now wait a minute. Is he talking to like what's he talking about here? Wait, wait, wait a second.

Sometimes he gets ahead of his skis and he needs to not say these things. Audio soundbite 11 please. So we have to be careful. You got to get out there and you got to watch those voters. You don't have to vote. Don't worry about voting the voting.

We got plenty of votes. Oh, my gosh. No. He said don't bother with voting.

Oh, my gosh. Girl, what are you doing? No, baby.

What are you doing? No. Why does he do this? He did this in Georgia too. Do you remember that one dude? What's his name?

Oh, Linwood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was out there telling everybody, don't vote. Your vote doesn't count. Okay, um, that's, you're not gonna like what I'm about to say.

So just like deal. Because this is the truth. This is how we lost Georgia. This is how we lost the Senate.

I was on the ground in Georgia, I was helping with some of the get out the vote stuff. I cannot tell you how demoralized volunteers were. I cannot tell you the number of people I talked to who said, yeah, we're just going to get out the vote. Yeah, we're just not going to go vote.

We're just saying it doesn't matter anymore. And it was turnout. Republicans literally suicided themselves in the Georgia runoff. That's how we lost the Senate. And I, I mean, I talked to so many grassroots conservatives who were so desperate to not lose the Senate, and they were trying to get out there. They have hard numbers. I mean, we talked about this after it happened.

I went back, I tweeted out a piece yesterday. Because there was an AJC report, and these are just hard. It's hard numbers. It's from every the Secretary of State, they tally all this stuff. Turnout fell. It was one of the most precipitous declines amongst Republican voters that the state had seen in recent elections. And that is from Emory University. In addition to Emory University, there was also an AJC survey.

There was a lot. Center for Responsive Politics did a survey. It was one of the most precipitous declines in Republican voter turnout that they had ever seen. The overall turnout fell from 5 million to just a little over. So you had almost a million people who didn't go vote in Georgia. For the special election, and that's how we lost the Senate.

That's not because anything was written. You people were, Democrats convinced Republicans to steal their own votes. That's what happened. I need Trump not to tell people ever again to not vote. Please do not ever do that again.

No, do not do that. Your vote matters. It does matter. It does matter. We got more on the way.

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Hillsdale College, developing minds, improving hearts. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. So a passenger is up in arms because he got kicked off for she got kicked off a flight, a Southwest flight for petting a puppy. Yeah, there was a series of clips that another passenger uploaded detailing this particular passenger's predicament.

So it happened. The passenger was flying on Southwest Airlines, they said, and in the video had an eight week old puppy named Sitka in tow going from Colorado back home to California. The puppy began to whine a little bit. The flight attendant was checking boarding passes and she told the passenger, if the dog continues to make noises, you may not be able to fly.

And she petted the dog to calm it, which calmed it down right away. But then the and she was putting it through the top of the carrier. The flight attendant said, oh, it has to be zipped at all times and under the seat. Apparently they hadn't even taken off yet.

Like they were still people were still boarding. And so she said it has to be secure in the pet carrier. If you don't follow, then you're going to be she was like saying it has to be zipped under the seat. Then your but your dog has to not whine all this other stuff.

Long story short, the attendant was getting was giving her some according to the video contradictory requests, and they ended up ejecting her off the flight. I think that's stupid. That's so dumb. I just I can't. This is why I say I like I like dogs, but I like that woman.

I feel totally fine in saying that. That's that's so goofy. Come on.

Just just Australia appoints a feral pig as a czar as its population feral hogs are a huge problem. balloons up to what 24 million I think this is kind of crazy. Because it's an AOL article and it's trash.

It won't load. So that's as far as we're gonna get with that headline. Doctors could soon prescribe a video game for ADHD.

I think video games are helpful for a lot of stuff. China beer maker a worker was caught urinating in a raw material warehouse. That's disgusting. They're actually telling people, giving them tips to prevent hand hand injuries during pumpkin carving. I just think some people shouldn't handle knives. I've seen some of these people cut vegetables. Stop it.

I wouldn't trust you with a knife or pumpkin carving at all. They're saying apparently that's like a big problem like trips to urgent care because people cut themselves with this so goofy. All right, so some radio business. Most of you don't care about inside baseball stuff.

Kane. I got the fall soap in for the radio bathroom. I'm the only chick here. These guys don't care if they wash their hands with activated charcoal.

They don't care. I do. And I'm like, Oh, it's fall.

I'm like doing like my my basic bish stuff. Like it's fall. We got to have like the fall soaps and everything. Every season is a new type of soap.

Kane said, in response to this, because I will probably get dropped from a number of affiliates. You do not need to say stuff like that. But I said it is the most Always Sunny in Philadelphia thing you could probably have as a response.

It is so politically incorrect and hysterical. Actually, after I said it, I was thinking, what does fig smell like? Does it smell like Fig Newtons?

I don't know. What is fig? Am I supposed to open this? Do we know what fig smells like? I mean, I know what a Fig Newton smells like.

That's what I'm saying. But am I going to smell like Fig Newtons? Yeah, it smells like fig. I mean, does it smell like fall? I don't know. I mean, do I necessarily associate fig with fall?

I don't know. But it sounded nice because I like melted cheese with figs. Isn't there something about figgy pudding? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like a Christmas thing.

Yes. So I'm guessing it's a fall. So this will be a nice fall scent.

Your hands will smell like figs. Yay. I don't know what that is. But yay.

But you drink bacteria tea, but you're making fun of my fig soap. I'm saying yay. Gosh, I so wish I could tell people what you said. Oh, my gosh.

It was one of the funniest, craziest. I wish so badly I could tell everybody what you said. I'm celebrating the fig soap. I don't know why you're acting like that. Oh, now today you're celebrating it. No, I was celebrating it then. Yesterday you were not celebrating the fig soap. That was my way of celebrating. You're like, oh, fig soap. I have a unique way of celebrating figs.

And then he made a joke about what he was going to do after he washed his hands with the fig soap. So I'm going to say, like, I'm easing you into the fall season, right? We don't really have a fall. Oh, sorry, Europeans. Autumn. We call it fall because the leaves fall on the ground.

And, you know, I'm just like making it a little more, you know, autumny. Sorry. You're accusing me of being a fig bigot. Yeah, a fig bigot. Right. Is what I was. A fig bigot. And it's not true.

Very, very close to what you said. I was making your hands with the fig soap. I celebrate the new soap every season.

I look forward to the new soap. Steve, you know what a fig smells like, right? You like Fig Newtons? How would you describe what fig smells like? I mean, I know what it smells like. I don't want to put it in my mouth. What?

No. What it smells like, not what it tastes like. Oh, yeah. How would you describe the fig smell to someone?

How would you do that? It's like, it's like fruity trees, right? I don't know. It smells figgy. So we're going to have a new segment on the show called Make Steve Describe Stuff. Steve, what it smells like, fruity trees.

I don't know, like fruity trees. I love it. All right. We got to get rolling. We have Today in Stupidity on the way. Oh, my gosh. All right. As we do get moving. No, thanks to the fig soap. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.