Absurd Truth: What Does Jihad Even Mean??

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec.

It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. So elementary school students that attended Miami Springs, Florida, a charter school in Miami Springs, Florida, saw a portion of the horror film. What is it? What is that Winnie the Pooh horror film called? I remember it's, oh, Blood and Honey, Winnie the Pooh, Blood and Honey is what it's called. Because Winnie the Pooh, remember, he fell into copyright free for all. Not with the red shirt, though.

But the red shirt is still copywritten. Anyway, so they were shown, I know it's very, you know, they were shown a portion of this horror film, like 20 to 30 minutes. And apparently it like terrorized them, because they were like, they were stabbing and slashing. I mean, it's literally called Winnie the Pooh, Blood and Honey.

I mean, it's very obviously a campy horror film. And apparently students picked the movie and, and the teacher allowed them to watch it. And then the students immediately regretted their decision, because Winnie the Pooh was a homicidal maniac in the story. And he and Piglet go on a killing spree.

No one believes that a Piglet though. But anyway, he and Piglet went on a killing spree. There, there was neck slicing, arm snapping, eyeballs popping out, all kinds of stuff. Apparently a woman's boob flops out after she's attacked.

I mean, all kinds of crazy stuff happening. Yeah, you shouldn't show this in an elementary school. I'm not going to sit here and you know, that's not appropriate for elementary school students.

Good grief. Like, why does this have to be explained? Who let this happen? What teacher is like, Oh, yeah, the kids picked it. It says Winnie the Pooh. I mean, you can clearly see it's like a slasher film.

That's so dumb. Oh, my gosh. All right. So, um, couple of things. I could get into the guy stabbed somebody else. But let's talk about the bear. A Florida bear broken.

What is up with this? Like this is like the fifth story that we've had in what two months of bears breaking into people's houses and eating their food. Somebody drank somebody else's beers. Somebody some bear drank some somebody else's beers. A bear broke into a Florida man's garage and then started eating all of his fish sticks and strawberry syrup was the bear named Kanye.

It's an old South Park joke. The incident follows several others were hungry bears have invaded homes. So this bear it is a giant bear by the way.

broke into this in Sanford, Florida broke into this house. It's on camera, unfazed, going to town with strawberry syrup and fish sticks. That is a very odd combination. But you know, I'm not gonna I'm not one to judge a bear's taste. I'm not gonna do that. All right, folks. So you've heard me talk about Hillsdale College giving away free copies of the Constitution and Declaration of Independence to my listeners for Constitution Day on September 17. They've set an immediate goal to give copies to 1 million Americans who don't have one.

And if not you then maybe a young person that you know, and the response has been tremendous. However, this free offer for my listeners ends soon. So if you haven't already order your free copy right now at Dana for fo our hillsdale.com because every American should have a copy of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence.

And these days when most schools neglect to teach our kids about our nation's great heritage of liberty, it's more critical than ever to make sure that these documents are readily available to them. So to claim your free copy, visit Dana for hillsdale.com today complete a very simple form and receive your booklet through the mail and you don't even have to pay for shipping. But as I mentioned, this offer expires soon. So order your copy now at Dana for hillsdale.com.

That's Dana for hillsdale.com don't delay. There are no rules of war for terrorists. There's just war. I'm hard.

I don't know. I'm I know wars awful wars horrible. And I say this as somebody who is I consider myself actually anti war until someone a nation threatens my interest in my country to the point where I can't be. Because when when I don't believe in responding from a position of self defense, I believe in you may be so mad.

I just went past defense and into offense and I obliterated you. That's how I think the response to any kind of attack on one's country should be especially from terrorists. I don't believe in rules of war for terrorists. And I'm not going to apologize for hurting the sensitivities of terrorists. I don't believe in rules of war for terrorists, for people who have been attacked by terrorists. I don't believe in rules of war for terrorists. I don't believe in rules of war for terrorists. I don't believe in rules of war for terrorists. I don't believe in rules of war for terrorists. I'm not going to say that.

I'm not going to say that, you know,. You shouldn't have to kill children and rape women and destroy entire communities. I mean, they attacked an agrarian community. I do not say this at pejoratively, they're hippies, basically, like actual hippies, not like hippies that say they're hippies, but they're really violent, and they're leftists, and they you know, they're all quote unquote Pro and you know, Antifa. Because they're not actually anti-fascist.

No, they're actual like real. And again, not a pejorative. I just don't know how else to, to equate it to make people like that. understand it if they're unfamiliar with the the kibbutz concept, but they're kind of they're like hippies, they're they're no peaceful, you know, farmers and their agrarians, they come together to live communally. That's it.

I mean, the literally the least threatening people you could imagine, if you had to gather together some of the least threatening people possible, that would be that would be in your top three. And they had paragliding terrorists go in, they went to a literal peace festival. That was called it's what it was called a rave window raves get violent. I mean, for crying out loud, it's a rave. They the worst most offensive thing about a rave. The most aggressive thing is the use of glow sticks during dancing.

Okay. That's the most aggressive thing. They go to an actual peace rally, and they paraglide in. You have one of the Hamas stooges called for a day of rage tomorrow. A day of international jihad. They're calling everyone to jihad. Do you, Kane, do you remember after 9-11?

There was this debate about what jihad meant. Do you remember this? I remember this.

After 9-11, I, I edited a webzine, basically, it was a very, very alternative political and cultural entity online. And I yelled and never used my name on it. Everybody had different names. It was and I did it with a collective of individuals. And I remember, we all came kind of from different backgrounds.

Some of them, I had a couple of college friends that even wrote for it. And everyone, we all kind of scratched our heads when we saw some people on the left. Suggest that, well, jihad doesn't really mean like jihad. You remember, I know you guys remember this, a lot of you out there remember this, they kept trying to say that, well, they really mean like the struggle in one's own heart. That's what it means.

So when they're like calling people to jihad, they're calling you to like the struggle in your heart. And that's, that's not what it means. You totally remember this, do you not? And we even pointed out how then the online community dictionaries, I think it was like, Oxford dictionary or one of those dictionaries online, added that definition to the word back then. So that, you know, any of the kids growing up now, think that it's always been part of the definition. And it's not. And it came up again after Benghazi. Because there were calls to jihad.

And I saw it coming up again during Benghazi. Oh, that's not what you shut up. That's what jihad is.

What do you think they're? What do you think they're calling? If someone says, I'm calling you to jihad, they're not saying I'm calling you to bestow upon your, you know, your insurgent neighbor, flowers and candy.

That's what I'm calling for you to do. There, that it's not like a nice thing. Holy war. Yeah, literally what it means. Yeah, that's what it is. So what did they think this is? I'm just, I'm, I'm floored.

Because they're the dude is calling everybody for, to go and start problems. You have heard me talk a lot about how much I love my Kel-Tec P50. It's just so versatile and has become a global choice of protective details and sport shooters like me. Well, have y'all seen the new R50? Like the P50, the R50 carbine is light, well balanced and easily manipulated. This side folding tack driver gives you maximum speed, accuracy and power downrange. It is great fun out on the range, looks like a SpaceX blaster and the 5.7 cartridge comes in several variants from sporting to hunting to serious personal defense.

Now the R50 comes with two 50 round double stack mags that lay horizontally along the top and just like the P50, the R50 offers over seven inches of rail space up top for a wide range of optic options and even more space on the bottom for accessories. To learn more about the new R50 carbine, visit Kel-Tec weapons.com. That's K-E-L-T-E-C weapons.com. Kel-Tec, 30 years of innovation to help secure your world. Visit Kel-Tec weapons.com today.

Kel-Tec weapons.com. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick 5. Oh, well, here we go. Killer clowns again. You know, by the way, that's a great movie, by the way, if you've never heard Killer Clowns from Outer Space, Dickie's did the song. It's so good.

So there's a, we seems like we have this like every other year. A killer clown is stalking a village weeks before Halloween leaving residents terrified. It's a sleepy little village in Scotland, North Asher. It's a killer clown. He's wearing a Pennywise style outfit and he's wearing white gloves, a lace collar, sounds more like Elizabethan. And he's wearing a Elizabethan.

And he's got a big, big fluffy buttons and he's left the town of 2000 in fear. Apparently, a Facebook account set up by the clown who calls himself Cole Demos posted images of himself in the darkened streets of the village and people are like, I'm not letting my kids outside at night. This is, well, then beat his ass then. Come on if he's scaring your kids. Otherwise, if he's not doing anything wrong and he's just like in the spirit of Halloween, then let it go. It's fun. Unless he's like killing people, in which case I revert to the first thing I said. See, it's very easy.

It's like a flow chart, a flow chart of easiness. So CBS and Paramount Global have been hit with a discrimination and retaliation suit by ex-former 60 Minutes producer alleging a toxic environment against women at the network. Oh, yawn. It's a vast raging complaint. Blah, blah, blah. I don't care. I really don't care.

So they have problems. I mean, is anybody surprised? CBS?

Paramount? Anybody surprised? A 1981 DeLorean was found with only somehow with only 977 miles on it.

I don't know whether I should be shocked or disappointed. Someone didn't drive this. They did not drive it. It was found in Wisconsin in good condition. A 1981 DeLorean with literally 977 miles on it. It's 42 years old. It has all of its original parts.

977 miles. Is there a flux capacitor on that thing? Dude, right? It has a new owner. It's been sitting in a barn untouched and undriven. And the owner said that he would go out and look at it just because he thought he was cool and then go back inside, I guess. I don't know.

That's so weird. So the guy who owns it now, Michael McElatyn, he got it. He lives in Crystal Lake, Illinois, and he has a restoration company.

He got wind of it and apparently it was in New Mexico. The original cars, the car's original owner was going to sell it and he was just shocked when he, he goes, we open it up and the first thing I saw was a mouse go running across the center console. He said the cars withstood the test of time, the condition of the leather, the instruments, and the cluster of the dash, all the stuff. He goes, where you see sun damage, he goes, which is a big killer with this, with these cars. He said the car is virtually no sun damage.

So he's going to do some restoration, but it's not going to, looks like it's not going to be a lot that he's got to do. That's actually really cool. That's actually really cool.

All right. Also, apparently a thousand birds hit one Chicago building in one day, killing all of them. One thousand birds hit McCormick Place, the largest convention center in North America. It's mostly covered with glass and it's like a thousand birds in one day hit it.

They were migrating south to wintering grounds. That is, volunteers are still picking up their little birdie carcasses. That's so, that's actually really sad. How sad is that? We have a lot more on the way. I feel like I need to lighten it up after that story. It's so depressing.

Stick with us. Are they, aren't they too busy watching parents who are going to school board meetings and Catholics? That's what I thought anyway. I mean, who knows? Why isn't no one actually, that's not really widely reported or condemned by anybody in the government. The only, I mean, the guy put out his, didn't he make a video of himself from his little cushy place in Qatar and he said that he was going to put a jihad on all you people? Like where, where, where's the condemnation for that?

Where's that? All I know, look, for Hamas or any other terrorists that would like to put a jihad out on anybody who would like to get froggy, so to speak, in the United States, please know that there are people in the United States that are so damn giddy at the idea of a dumb ass terrorist paragliding himself and trying to shoot his stupid rifle and kill innocent people. They will duck hunt your A-double snakes right out of the sky. Just know that. Just know. I mean, there, there's a meme that, it's out on, it's, where did I think I saved it. It's a meme.

And you know that from Parks and Rec, there's this photo of Chris Pratt before he lost all his weight. And he's making this face. And the meme is that the face that every gun owner makes when they hear from behind them, all right, everybody hands up. This is a stick up. I'm just saying that that's like the same feels.

It's the same vibe, the same energy. I mean, don't, don't sit here and think that's not gonna, because people are telling, they're warning people, be careful about big cities and all this stuff. In Britain, they had a, I'm gonna pull this up, is because this is just so weird to me. They're literally apparent, they were telling people, apparently, British Jewish school children to hide their identities as they walk to school for their own safety. They said that her, one family said their teenage daughter was told to not wear her blazer. And that her male classmates were told to cover their skull caps with baseball caps. And that they've been seen broken glass of, because somebody attacked a what they thought was a Jewish bakery in California, apparently yesterday, and it was owned by Armenian Christians. Golly, the terrorists aren't the brightest bunch. And they said that they are that that because that's what the people at their school and then their community were telling them just to be careful when your kids are like walking to school, Jewish school kids to walk to school. We fought a war.

I had grandpas on both sides of the flipping globe. We fought a war to not have this happen again. I think that some people are going to find that the generation of the greatest that the grandkids are the greatest generation we are even less inclined to put up with your BS terrorists.

I I'm just I can't even this is this is 2023 and this is happening. They're telling kids in Britain and London that they got to be careful walking to school. They're telling the boys to hide their skull caps, because some terrorists might get its fields hurt over somebody else's skull cap. I didn't realize that your deity was so weak that they would be offended by the existence of someone else.

So I don't know. I mean, are you going to change your pattern tomorrow, Cain? It's the day of jihad, you know, I might carry an extra mag or two with me. What would you do if you saw a paraglider in the air?

A terrorist Hamas terrorists in the air with a rifle? Break out my old duck hunt skills? Cain's gonna put his SCOBY down or his his bacteria tea and he's gonna break out of his duck hunt skills.

I may not have to even put that down. Oh my gosh, I'm not. I don't. You have to find some kind of some sort of light point in this all of the horror that we've seen over this past week. Because it's been awful. I have been desperately searching for kooky stories to break it up. And I mean, I think even all the fun freaky people hit I don't even know. I mean, golly Florida man and Florida bear were all we had today. God love them.

Thank you, Florida for making all that stuff public because I don't know what we'd be doing with that you today. It's just man it is. It's heavy. It's heavy stuff. I get it. I get it. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.