Absurd Truth: NYPD K5

It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man.

So I have a Florida Man story here, and I'm really just not sure how exactly I want to go about talking about it. I mean, I got a couple so I'm going to save it for the last link. He's run out of time.

No, I don't think that's gonna happen. But okay, so let's do this. This guy's this seems innocuous enough. Okay, so a Florida Man has been detained because he climbed on top of a fire rescue truck in Miramar and would not come down. He and there's video there's some video of it Ariel. He was detained he climbed on top of this of this fire truck wouldn't come down. There's a fire rescue truck. It was right in the middle of the road. Sky 10 flew over the scene.

We're shirtless man was seen walking around and even exercising on top. They call it an ambulance. So I guess it's a first responder fire truck slash ambulance.

Even though it says fire rescue on the side. They said that he finally jumped out the vehicle and was detained by police. He was given water shortly before he was put in handcuffs. They had to close off the entire street so that they could get him into custody. But he like was balancing on one leg and he was like doing some workout, you know, doing some exercises and all that stuff. And, and they finally were able to get him down and, and they took him into custody.

But I haven't there's no I don't even know what kind of charge that would be like obstructing traffic or disrupt what I don't even know what kind of charge that would be. But yeah, so he's there he is. All right. So that's like the most innocuous one that we have. We also have this one can you had this a Florida Man who hired a plane to fight find a stolen purple Rolls Royce is reunited with his custom car because he got a tip on Instagram. How nice is that somebody on Instagram like allowed that they helped and helped him find us his vehicle, a purple Rolls Royce.

It can't be that hard to find it, by the way. It was a 2016 Rolls Royce Wraith. Say that real fast. Rolls Royce Wraith. By the way, sidebar Have you ever seen that movie The Wraith?

It's actually really good. It was taken from his garage in North Miami. And they said that it was a 140 tips came through. But it was offered for rent and a chat group on Instagram. So the thieves got the keys to the car from inside his garage. Why do you just keep your keys there? I mean, the car is not an it's a good looking car but the color it looks like grimace is driving down the street. Doesn't it? The back of it looks like grimace is backside man.

It's just like why I don't know. This is a horror show. So this is CBS Austin.

And with this Oh, golly. A man pulled No, no, I'm getting to that one. A man pulls his roommates eyes out of their out of the sockets during a fight at a psychiatric hospital.

Yeah. Pembroke Pines, Florida. A fight at a psychiatric psychiatric hospital had an unforeseen outcome. You think you think what kind of lead is that dude had his eyes straight ripped out his head.

According to the Pembroke Pines Police Department, the PPPD. Pulled both of the victim's eyes out of his eye sockets during a fight with his roommate at the South Florida State Hospital. The suspect and victim were court ordered to be at the psychiatric facility. What started as a verbal altercation became physical punches thrown the suspect dragged the victim across the ground punched him and then disfigured him. So he was taken into the house.

The victim was taken to hospital for the severe injuries he suffered. Bermasola was booked into jail and charged with aggravated battery. So you only get aggravated battery from ripping a dude's eyeballs out of his head.

That seems a little I don't know. I mean, there are dudes that were not even at the Capitol on j six that got 22 years in jail. This guy rips a dude's eyes out of their sockets, and he gets aggravated battery for real.

All right, here's the headline. A nude Florida man screams is my birthday today after touching himself in a hot tub. Cops say so a Tuesday to Key Largo, Florida. He was in his birthday suit on his birthday at a resort in the Florida Keys, according to deputies. And Julio Daniel Rodriguez was arrested on a warrant related to the incident. Now, the spokesperson for police said he was in the buff. It was like 730 in the morning.

It was the player resort and spa. Witnesses apparently he just like did stood up and did this in front of everybody. And in front of employees. And after a male employee confronted him, he screamed it's my birthday today and rained naked towards us one before apparently driving back to Miami Dade County. And I love this sentence. According to the deputies, it was in fact the suspect's birthday.

He turned 34. So they issued an arrest warrant. And he was booked into Monroe County Jail on a charge of indecent exposure. So I know it wasn't so bad. I thought that was gonna be a lot worse than what it was. I was, you know, yeah, I thought that was gonna be a lot worse than what it was.

But it wasn't. Last but not least, a Florida man in Orlando was accused of robbing a dead body on the beach. Took his phone, took the body's phone. David Paine at 36 years old, Volusia County, Florida was arrested.

He stole a cell phone belonging to a man found dead on the beach earlier this year, according to Port Orange Police who was taken into custody last week. As students begin heading back to school, do you think they'll be learning about the founding principles that made America the freest and most prosperous nation in history? Will they learn that our unalienable rights are God given and not granted by government? Will they be given a full and honest account of our nation's history? You can sign up for free at the special website for a limited time at Dana4FORHillsdale.com.

And you can look forward to Imprimis each month. It's interesting, useful and free and it's one of the best and smartest in conservative constitutionalist thought. Find out more about Hillsdale College and sign up for Imprimis at Dana4FORHillsdale.com. That's Dana4Hillsdale.com It's really weird. What is it?

Weird, maybe. But this Robocop, well it's so much more than that. We're taking existing technology, cameras, being able to communicate with people and we're placing it on wheels. Behold the NYPD's newest crime stopper, K5 Autonomous, a security robot that will soon patrol the Times Square, 42nd Street subway station. We will continue to stay ahead of those who want to harm everyday New Yorkers. Mayor Eric Adams unveiling K5 today underground, part of his new push to increase law enforcement technology in the country's largest transit system. The 400 pound 5 foot 3 K5 is nothing short of being high tech. It's equipped with four cameras that will allow it to send back live video without audio to the police department.

K5 will not use facial recognition technology either. It will patrol the subway station's mezzanine level, not the platform. But some subway riders say they are a bit concerned about their invasion of privacy.

Others appreciate another set of eyes. Where are the guns? I mean, let's go ahead and open up the betting pool here. Go ahead and place your bets as to how soon this damn thing is going to get yeeted right up onto the subway tracks. Welcome back to the program.

Dana Lash here with you, top of the second hour. Go ahead, just place your bets. How long do you think it's going to take for this thing to get straight up yeeted onto some subway tracks? There's no audio like you have a 400 pound robot, and there's no audio. And then people are like there's no facial recognition. Which I just think like if you're not I'm not saying I want it. I just think if you're going to go and create something this stupid that you would include that right. Like go ahead and put all the bells and whistles on it. There should be a little arm that pops out.

This is like the crappiest R2D2 I've ever seen. There should be like a little hat shut opens and a little. That's the sound of an arm mechanized arm. Coming out that's holding a gun. That's what should happen. Maybe a Glock, right? I'm just saying stop.

That's should be like that. Does that thing scare you? I could kick it. It's kickable. You could easily vandalize that thing.

I have so many ideas on how to destroy it. I mean, how much is this thing? How much did they say they paid of their tax? What did they say? Their taxpayer dollars? I'm just so done.

Oh, man, I can't even deal with it. Why is it? Why do they do this? They want to defund the police for this. Do you honestly think someone's going to be deterred from crime?

Oh, you're lovable curmudgeon Dana Lash here with you. You can listen coast to coast. You can stream the radio program.

You can also watch the simulcast, YouTube, Facebook, Channel 347, DirecTV where Juan was showing you some of the footage of it's almost as tall as Eric Adams, the mayor of New York. The what is it the cop bot Robocop? It literally is. It's just a dumb one.

Night scope, the Robocop. So remember, we have this a couple years ago where one of those robots just fell into the phone? No, it didn't fall. It committed suicide. Let's, let's get it right.

Whoa, hold on, hold on, hold on. What's preventing people from kicking this thing down the stairs or in the phone? Robots literally keep killing themselves. So this is this is in 2017.

This is one's in 21 in 2017 alone. It was a robot security guard committed suicide. In a public fountain, and it was this actual night scope robot. The night scope security robot was supposed to patrol the Georgetown waterfront, a ritzy shopping and office complex along the Washington Harbor in DC. But the pressure was too much for the sad little bot, which can turn and beep and whistle in order to maintain order.

It rolled into the fountain and drowned itself on Monday. We, I thought we were going to have like flying cars and like the technology to have like a helmet go on our head. And then 30 seconds later, we got a hairstyle.

Right. And instead, we have robots that drown themselves in fountains. That's what we get instead. Best I can do is a robot. It's like Pawn Stars.

It's like Pawn Stars. Best I can do is a robot that drowns itself, which is all I can do. I mean, just let me die. That's all. That's all it has.

I just, I don't know what to say about it. I said the one that drowned itself in DC was literally the exact one that drowned itself. The one that drowned itself is the exact one that they have in New York.

Literally the exact one. Now that's not all. Apparently, there are others that have done it.

Now the one was saying that the one in DC, they said, that's named Steve, they are sorry, Steve, that's literally what it's named as the independent that said that. There's argument as to whether or not it actually killed itself, or whether it was there was just a mishap. But if a Roomba knows not to take the stairs into a fountain, pretty sure why are there stairs in a fountain anyway? It's a fountain where there's stairs that go down into it.

That's like entrapment. Why is that like that? So I don't know this. I don't know.

But yeah, this robot kill it just did totally merked itself. You know why? Because it has to deal with us. Honestly.

Just let me die. If you're a criminal, and you saw that on the mezzanine level, and you were going to commit a crime, you know, I don't know what crime you would commit on the mezzanine level, but would you be just would you be deterred by the presence of a suicidal robot? I mean, I just I don't know, man.

I just don't even know. But that's that's the what we ordered some we thought we had some different and no, but see, there's some like the Financial Times had a story two days ago where they said that security companies are turning to robots as the labor shortage bites. And I was reading this piece on interesting engineering about how it works.

And, you know, all of this stuff. And this thing is so this one will be in the the Times Square subway. I think that's the only place that it is.

I don't think it's in all of the subway, like all of the it's not going to be in all of the different subway stops, but it's just in the Times Square one. They said that that when something happens, we'll be able to step in from a remote location. How are you doing that? It doesn't do anything.

It just like rolls around. I say we test them at the border before we start letting them loose in New York. Right. That's what we need. Let's just like like let an army of these, you know, little robots go out there. If they fall in the water.

Let her rip tater chip. If they fall in the water, we know they're no good around water up in New York. You can't enter. Now, what will happen is you'll have Biden send his agents down and they'll be kicking them into the Rio. We are so stupid as a species.

I love our government just spending it spending our money on important things. Wait a minute. Steve is the story of the hitch bot. What is this?

It's the cheerful hiking robot. I guess this I got vandalized in Philadelphia. I remember this story.

They had a nobody likes robots. The hitch bots trip came to a violent end in Philly. They were in Boston, Boston and Salem and then New York City. And then when it went to Philly, it totally got murked. This was the talk of campus.

This was my senior year of college. And someone knew about someone who someone knew the guy who took it and beheaded it and threw it in the trash can. I mean, it's like a little robot. It had little wellies on and had little little kid rain boots on and little jeans. And yeah, it's a the hitch bot was beheaded. It's it was like a robot flat Stanley. So he took it and cut the head off, Steve. Oh, yeah. Philly don't play with that type of stuff.

Yeah, Philly's like that thing looks stupid. Cut it. Hey, Google is hitchhiking safe? Don't hitchhike.

I can't do it. I can't this in this video that keeps auto playing of the first female college football kicker just kicking it 20 yards is just chef's kiss, man. You all know that I have several Caltech firearms that I love. But the PMR 30 is perhaps my favorite great all around reliable Caltech. And for those of you who might be recoil shy, the PMR 30 is great for personal or home defense, but it's also really recreationally.

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Visit Caltech weapons.com today, Caltech weapons.com. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. So SAG-AFTRA is also now voting for a strike against video game makers, the union that represents the actors and a lot of the well the WAG is the writers, but the union that represents the actors, they said their members, their members voted in favor of launching a strike against video game companies. They said 98% of their members voted to do so. It goes against Activision, which is owned by I mean, it's basically Chinese take to production, electric arts production, epic games. The union said the company's refused to meet on members grievances, which include an increase on salary wages protections, exploitative uses, AI basic safety precautions, the irony of actually protesting against, you know, Activision and Tencent, you know, with with that's on CCP owned is amazing to me.

But anyway, they they're they're doing that. They're better not, you know what, I'm going to say this, it better not affect my class, my latest class that's coming out for Vermintide two, because I play a CN, I play a CN if you're gonna ask us, and I've got her all jacked up. And I've like been waiting to play the last level until I get my new class. I don't want to hear it. I just it's all about me. I don't care about anything else. So it better not affect my class upgrade because it's supposed to come next month.

October 19 is the day. Okay, just you know, now that I got that out of my system. Let's see. Tragic loss f1 tragedy Las Vegas Grand Prix construction worker was killed while they were setting up for the inaugural Nevada race where they're going to race around Nevada like Dana drives around Dallas. The it's not I would actually I in my mind, I would be an amazing Formula One driver. I would in my mind, like I would blow everybody away. Right?

I would be I'd be fantastic in my mind. That is, you know, like watch her pull out of the Whole Foods parking lot because she doesn't want to go there. I don't know. I was just let's see this. They the man was pronounced out of said they took him to OSHA's involved. They said they're and they're investigating but golly, that's just horrifying. I love this misinformation research, MSN. They have this headline. It's buckling under GOP legal attacks. This was a story that took three morons to write. The it's Washington Post misinformation research is buckling under job head legal attacks. And blah, blah, blah. They tried to cite the NIH. They think that they want they that NIH froze $150 million that was intended to advance the communication of medical information, blah, blah, blah, shut up. They have a short I mean, it's not that long of a story.

But they have three people that it took to write that nonsense. That's, that's kind of that's ridiculous. But there there we have it.

Let's see. Also, this is what I was talking about is the is the US preparing to announce aliens. The Senate's proposed UFO controlled disclosure plan.

Have you guys heard of this? I'm all about it. The Senate passed an act that would require disclosure of UFO evidence and would give government offices 300 days to collect records.

The review board would then look at the records before going public. Some people are saying that you know what, I don't think so. I and again, I don't care. There's some people I want indicted.

There's some people I want impeached. Don't care. This is from not to be NCAA is celebrating the first female non kicker to get football playing time. If you're a female, and you can play football, it doesn't mean you can play football. And if you can play well, doesn't mean that you can play well as a dude, because men and women are different. Just like if you know, men are great parents, they can be great dads, you know, you can't be great mom, because you're either just different, you know what I mean? It's just different because science is real biology exists.

Can't explain this to me because it just you share this thing. The first female kicker in college football just kicked at 20 yards. Oh, man. But this chick, I don't nobody wanted to hit her because she's a chick. Yeah, they didn't line up against her. So it's for two reasons that I can think of either a they're not worried about her on the line is it looked like she was playing a linebacker position the way she approached the line. So she was playing a linebacker. But then she was unimpeded at the line, and went straight for the quarterback actually hit the quarterback late. Honestly, if if we were to be actual, you know, actually, she did hit the quarterback late.

And, you know, it ended up being an incomplete pass. But they're not worried about her on the line. Number one.

And no one is willing to line up against her. I guess they don't. I don't I don't know what that is. So not not to be wrote this.

And I don't know what any of this means. But I'm gonna throw it at them. Steve, feel free to chime in. They say I'm not going to argue that it's a late hit or roughing the passer because I ain't soft. But if that was Tom Brady, she would have been thrown out of the game, right? They made the game suck because she's a chick. They didn't actually full on play because she's a chick to accommodate her. Yeah, no, that's exactly right. That's so lame.

Everyone's like, Oh, this chick makes history's first female non kicker. But are you actually playing if no one is actually playing with you? Right. I mean, the offensive line would if they see a linebacker come up on the line and line up, they would adjust to answer that. And they just didn't. So they either weren't worried or didn't want to engage or both.

I think it's both. I mean, if you're a dude out there, I don't care if you're all padded up. I mean, there's a chick. You're not gonna I don't know a dude that's like, Yeah, I'm gonna go just hit that check. I don't know if there's I just think that with dudes unless I don't know you're with the ATF or you're that one guy in that video that we're going to talk about coming up in our next hour, who went after his mistress. Dudes don't think like that. That's just not how they think they I think it's very intuitively very, you know, it's just in your your all's coil, mortal coil.

You're just like, I don't know. And you don't even have to hit her. If you're the offensive line, you're you're just preventing the linebacker from breaching through the line.

It's all about just preventing the person from breaching the line. You don't have to hit her or anything. But I think people just didn't want to line up against her. Yeah, so it's not really I'm surprised.

I'm not complaining that it's unfair because nobody wanted to line up against her. That's coming. Why did I say anything that's gonna happen? You know, that's gonna happen. So coming up, we got a lot still on the way.

I also have to tell you this story. So I hate I hate going out and shopping. I hate going to get anything.

I like to order things. And just because I hate going into stores. There's too much to look at.

It's distracting. And it takes forever. People can't drive where I live.

No one can drive. And I'm a very aggressive driver. I just I just want to order it. And I know what I want. And I just want it. I don't want to go somewhere and then not have it.

You know what I'm saying? Like I just want to save the time. I don't like to go and browse.

I hate browsing. So anyway, I had to stop in because there was one thing in particular I needed. And I was like, Oh, my gosh, I you know, I guess I'll pop in. I'll go in here. I had an errand to run.

And I thought I'm gonna go into the store, just to see if they have it. And I felt like I was 90,000 years old. And I baby Gen X. Okay, so my generation was left home alone forever. Like we were able to do everything.

We were like the last generation where we weren't Molly coddled. And I'm just I can't even like, tell you the songs that I was listening to, because I'm pretty sure that the lyrics are in the title. And it would be I'd get fined. But let's just say that it was like I couldn't tell if I was in a very alternative gynecologist office, or if I was in like a retail store. Because of the music that was it was just what I'm going to talk more about this coming up because I also think that retail and things like that are sort of a snapshot of culture.

And after I was in there, I thought gosh, where's that damn asteroid? Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana lashes absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Transcribed by https://otter.ai